My Language Arts Methods prof, Rebecca Kaminski is a skeeza... bless her heart. A skeeza (to me) is someone who acts like they've got it all together, but in reality, they suck; they are rude, inconsiderate, and two faced. Dr. Kaminski can be nice... like, you'd think she was batting for your team... until she pulls some ish like a huge project the week before exams. Yes. That's what that ol' SKEEZA did to us... after she gave us a pizza party and got people to sell us discounted books (the discounted books were of no real importance to me though). It's okay, Dr. K... you shall be in dumb pe0ple for some idiocracy that you said today AS WELL as earlier in the semester.
The whole reason I am writing about this skeeza is not because of the assignment she gave us though... I am wondering if I am becoming a SKEEZA!? Today in class we got to make up our own rubric for this BS project. Now, I am not any more excited about it than anyone else, but I don't see what the point is in making it so ridiculously easy to get an A. My group was in charge of making the rubric up for presentation... I did most of the work. So what Dr. K asked if time should be figured into the rubric, I said, for the lowest grade, 2 minutes and under, and for the highest grade, at least 5 minutes... that is not asking a lot. But if you had been in the class, you would have thought WAY differently. People were spazzin' out throwin' stuff and cursin' (not really, but I'm just trying to add to the atmosphere)! Dr. Kaminski WANTED 10 minute presentations... I think 5 minutes is a good compromise personally.
But then I got to thinking... am I becoming an ol' skeeza in my old age? I mean, Language Arts Methods today was my second to last class of my undergraduate career ever... Am I turning into an old fashioned fogie?
Even if I do, I will NOT EVER stoop to this level...
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
i feel like writing...
Poor blog. What have you become?! Just a couple hundred pages sitting there in cyber space longing for the days when I had a chance to actually write in you... I'm so sorry. The past few entries, I have said over and over again how I am going to start writing more. Well, that was during the worse time of my life: THE BLOCK. I'm so glad it's over. I really do miss Mrs. Hatton's class though. It was a good learning experience. I am really looking forward to student teaching in a better situation though.
Anyway, since the block is over, I only have 2 classes tomorrow and 1 on Thursday. So Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are going to be play days. I am so excited... the sad fact, however, is that I probably won't do a damn thing any of these days. I said I was going to go to Athens on Wednesday for a "college visit." I dunno if that will really happen though. It would be fun, but I really need to figure out logistics of that if I'm gonna do it.
Hell... I need to figure out logistics for pretty much everything about life after May 13. I'm so ready to graduate... but I don't really know if I'm ready to get up out of Clemson. ::sigh:: Lets see. The main reason that I would want to stay here at Clemson is to be a grad assistant with the band, and because I have friends here already. I don't really know if those are valid enough reasons though. I am really leaning towards USC actually. I know, it's really weird--my university's rival... Something about it seems very appealing though. I like how it is still in state. I like how they have a good band program. I like the fact that it is in a metropolitian area (who am I kidding? It's just Columbia, but they call it "da Met"). So yay for USC. Then there's UGA. It would also be completely new to me... however, not as new as USC would be. I hav visited there lots. I also have a pretty good relationship with the Kappa Mu bros there. It would be fun to go to school with them. They have a KILLER band program there. They also have an incredible school of education. Quite frankly, I am concerned that I may not even get in there. That is the only school that I didn't get into when I applied for undergrad (even though, it was my guidance counselors fault... grrr).
By the way, that is what I am going to do now. I decided that Ed Psych was not going to be worth anything once I got out of school. I actually had to do some researching, talking to people... and I decided that it isn't what I want. An Elementary School Guidance Counselor sounds better to me. I haven't talked to any guidance counselors who don't enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to it.
Anyway, like the title of this entry says... I feel like writing. Not only do I feel like writing in this heavily neglected blog, but I feel like starting new stuff too... and picking up where I left off in another neglected creation of mine. POOR, POOR DELIGHTFUL! My dear sweet Georgia peach. I made her and her friends up this summer when I had nothing better to do. I guess the fact that I left readers at a cliff hanger on Buckhead State Bid Day shows that I found things that were better to do... WRONG. I just found things that were BITCHES to do... school work. Anyway, break starts soon. And I get a lot of writing done on break. I plan on picking Delightful back up... somehow. I also started a novel that is based on my family back in Dale. It's called Family Friendly. It should be good... based on a true story with elements of fiction. My friend Mandy from high school is going to be writing something with me as well. It's called Any Suggestions? I actually got the name from her when she was asking me what I thought we should name it. She said, "Any suggestions?" and bam. There it was. It's going to be a series of letters written back and forth between to high school friends that are apart from each other at college. I'm really excited about it.
So, I have my work cut out for me. As for dumb pe0ple and Short Bus Stories, I think those are pretty dormant for the time being. Those are for random and sporadic bursts of writing... not really things meant to be kept up.
ANYWAY... on to the juice of my ever so fabulous blogs (j/k... I have been brought back down to earth now that I haven't had time to keep it up... although I really did love my rendition of "Overnight Celebrity" a few entries back). I used the r-word earlier in this entry...
I don't think I'm going to get married. I think I'll end up one of those strangely happy highly successful and fashionable single people. It has it's perks. No one to answer to but myself... I'll be able to come and go when I want... I won't have to fight for the remote control... and I will be able to decorate my bathroom in Spongebob Squarepants if I want to. Just kidding. Anyway, I really don't know how I feel about this... it's not really a disappointed feeling, or even a feeling of liberation. This is gonna bug me until I really get to that point. ::sigh:: So May 13, 2005, you can take your time getting here...
Anyway, since the block is over, I only have 2 classes tomorrow and 1 on Thursday. So Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are going to be play days. I am so excited... the sad fact, however, is that I probably won't do a damn thing any of these days. I said I was going to go to Athens on Wednesday for a "college visit." I dunno if that will really happen though. It would be fun, but I really need to figure out logistics of that if I'm gonna do it.
Hell... I need to figure out logistics for pretty much everything about life after May 13. I'm so ready to graduate... but I don't really know if I'm ready to get up out of Clemson. ::sigh:: Lets see. The main reason that I would want to stay here at Clemson is to be a grad assistant with the band, and because I have friends here already. I don't really know if those are valid enough reasons though. I am really leaning towards USC actually. I know, it's really weird--my university's rival... Something about it seems very appealing though. I like how it is still in state. I like how they have a good band program. I like the fact that it is in a metropolitian area (who am I kidding? It's just Columbia, but they call it "da Met"). So yay for USC. Then there's UGA. It would also be completely new to me... however, not as new as USC would be. I hav visited there lots. I also have a pretty good relationship with the Kappa Mu bros there. It would be fun to go to school with them. They have a KILLER band program there. They also have an incredible school of education. Quite frankly, I am concerned that I may not even get in there. That is the only school that I didn't get into when I applied for undergrad (even though, it was my guidance counselors fault... grrr).
By the way, that is what I am going to do now. I decided that Ed Psych was not going to be worth anything once I got out of school. I actually had to do some researching, talking to people... and I decided that it isn't what I want. An Elementary School Guidance Counselor sounds better to me. I haven't talked to any guidance counselors who don't enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to it.
Anyway, like the title of this entry says... I feel like writing. Not only do I feel like writing in this heavily neglected blog, but I feel like starting new stuff too... and picking up where I left off in another neglected creation of mine. POOR, POOR DELIGHTFUL! My dear sweet Georgia peach. I made her and her friends up this summer when I had nothing better to do. I guess the fact that I left readers at a cliff hanger on Buckhead State Bid Day shows that I found things that were better to do... WRONG. I just found things that were BITCHES to do... school work. Anyway, break starts soon. And I get a lot of writing done on break. I plan on picking Delightful back up... somehow. I also started a novel that is based on my family back in Dale. It's called Family Friendly. It should be good... based on a true story with elements of fiction. My friend Mandy from high school is going to be writing something with me as well. It's called Any Suggestions? I actually got the name from her when she was asking me what I thought we should name it. She said, "Any suggestions?" and bam. There it was. It's going to be a series of letters written back and forth between to high school friends that are apart from each other at college. I'm really excited about it.
So, I have my work cut out for me. As for dumb pe0ple and Short Bus Stories, I think those are pretty dormant for the time being. Those are for random and sporadic bursts of writing... not really things meant to be kept up.
ANYWAY... on to the juice of my ever so fabulous blogs (j/k... I have been brought back down to earth now that I haven't had time to keep it up... although I really did love my rendition of "Overnight Celebrity" a few entries back). I used the r-word earlier in this entry...
I also have a pretty good relationship with the Kappa Mu bros there.
There is a Ham Rule against using that word. Well, you know, I have kept my Ham Rules pretty well, so I'm not worried about breaking it. Now that I look at it, I think that it was a pretty stupid rule anyway. And honestly, following the Ham Rules has gotten me nowhere. I mean, I'm the same as I was when I made them up. I guess I have learned how to deal with my lack of a RELATIONSHIP over the past 4 years. But I haven't gotten any closer to one. Now that I am about to graduate and am getting closer to being out there on my own, I kinda have mixed feelings. I will be the same type of person that my Aunt Irene is... where she has tons of friends who are married and tons of friends and family who keep asking her when she is going to get married. Or, I could be like those cool single people who seem to be the main characters on prime time sitcoms... highly successful and stylish living in my small but sheik Pottery Barn decorated upper class townhome. I dunno. Everywhere I turn boyfriends and girlfriends are turning into fiancees. I guess that is what happens in the early 20s. And in the mid 20s, those fiancees are going to turn into husbands and wives. Dang. I am going to be highly delayed... the boyfriend/girlfriend stage was back at like 17-19. I haven't even reached that stage yet. I guess I'll be married by the time I'm 35... if even then.
I don't think I'm going to get married. I think I'll end up one of those strangely happy highly successful and fashionable single people. It has it's perks. No one to answer to but myself... I'll be able to come and go when I want... I won't have to fight for the remote control... and I will be able to decorate my bathroom in Spongebob Squarepants if I want to. Just kidding. Anyway, I really don't know how I feel about this... it's not really a disappointed feeling, or even a feeling of liberation. This is gonna bug me until I really get to that point. ::sigh:: So May 13, 2005, you can take your time getting here...
Monday, November 15, 2004
ugh.
I feel so disgustingly Bridget Jones right now. Sitting here journaling with my hot chicken noodle soup in a mug, not a bowl (this is so weird). My throat hurts. It's hurt for a while actually. It usually happens when the seasons change. Hopefully I'll be over it soon though.
Anyway, Bridget Jones. I was so Bridget Jones all day. I hung out all by myself, except for when I went home. Yeah, I went back to G-vegas to get some books I forgot over fall break. I saw everyone but my dad, so I guess it was nice.
The big deal about this whole trip to Greenville was going downtown and stopping at Falls Park. There used to be a road bridge that went over the falls, but they have since turned it into a suspended walking bridge. It was one of the prettiest things I had ever seen. My practicum teacher, Mrs. Hatton had mentioned it to me several times, so I figured I had nothing better to do, so I stopped by to look.
I walked out there with my discman... Clay Aiken was in the CD player. The song was Solitaire. How absolutely depressing. I mean, a beautiful Sunday afternoon in this amazing park listening to a song about a lonely man. Hmm... Yes. The story of my life.
I left utterly depressed and defeated. I mean, I am and will probably forever remain defeated...
A heart that cared
That went unshared
Until it died in his silence...
Oh, Clay Aiken, how you do what you do...
I'm ready to find some relief from this hopelessness. No, not necessarily someone to date... just the ability to be okay with being alone... the ability to walk amongst couples without getting all droopy faced...
Oh yeah, and the ability to watch chick flicks and not spazz out at the super sweet part (point in case, the part in "The Girl Next Door" when Matthew goes up and kisses Danielle for the first time and This Year's Love starts playing).
Just let me be apathetic...
Anyway, Bridget Jones. I was so Bridget Jones all day. I hung out all by myself, except for when I went home. Yeah, I went back to G-vegas to get some books I forgot over fall break. I saw everyone but my dad, so I guess it was nice.
The big deal about this whole trip to Greenville was going downtown and stopping at Falls Park. There used to be a road bridge that went over the falls, but they have since turned it into a suspended walking bridge. It was one of the prettiest things I had ever seen. My practicum teacher, Mrs. Hatton had mentioned it to me several times, so I figured I had nothing better to do, so I stopped by to look.
I walked out there with my discman... Clay Aiken was in the CD player. The song was Solitaire. How absolutely depressing. I mean, a beautiful Sunday afternoon in this amazing park listening to a song about a lonely man. Hmm... Yes. The story of my life.
I left utterly depressed and defeated. I mean, I am and will probably forever remain defeated...
A heart that cared
That went unshared
Until it died in his silence...
Oh, Clay Aiken, how you do what you do...
I'm ready to find some relief from this hopelessness. No, not necessarily someone to date... just the ability to be okay with being alone... the ability to walk amongst couples without getting all droopy faced...
Oh yeah, and the ability to watch chick flicks and not spazz out at the super sweet part (point in case, the part in "The Girl Next Door" when Matthew goes up and kisses Danielle for the first time and This Year's Love starts playing).
Just let me be apathetic...
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
fucked up fall break
1. First of all, the title of this entry is not due to the fact that I was wasted over fall break. I was quite sober, thankyouverymuch.
2. I titled it for 2 reasons.
(a) The alliteration (you like that, don't you)
(b) Something really was fucked up in our family computer at home, and it would not let me blog!
I had mucho stuff to write about too... Now, I am having a brain fart, and I can't think of anything I wanted to say. I think the brain fart is due to the fact that all brain power in the universe is being used to count the ballots for president. I have to admit... it's a big deal. As much as I hate politics, this is an exciting day. It was my very first presidential election. I voted in the gubernatorial election in 2000, and I was highly disappointed. I voted straight ticket Democrat... I didn't do that this time because first of all, while it would have been very fast, I had already waited 45 minutes in line anyway; secondly, Fletcher Anderson made a dumb ass comment in "The State" paper talking about how it was pretty much a given that minorities vote Democrat; and thirdly, the last time I did that, every Democrat lost... haha.
So today, I voted for Kerry... for Inez, and also for the mini bottles. My biggest concern is for the mini bottles. They are cool! And they make South Carolina special! We are the weirdos that have little colorful bottles lining the shelves of our bars and the weirdos that get more drunk than people in other states. LET THE MINI BOTTLE LIVE ON!
Anyway, enough of that election mumbo jumbo. Back to things on a smaller scale... oh that's right... I CAN'T REMEMBER ANY OF THEM BECAUSE MY COMPUTER AT HOME WOULDN'T LET ME TYPE ANYTHING!!!
But I do remember one thing... plans after college... this is so serious. What to do? Well, the choice was work, or go to grad school. My main concern was if I did work, I did not want to live at home. I'm ready to be on my own. Well, I found out this weekend that my parents want me to go straight to grad school too. I was kind of shocked 'cause I thought that they were gonna want me home as soon as I got done with college. That would suck so bad though. I mean, that is like a HUGE fear for me... I have been having visions of it all... It reminds me of summer camp. I go to summer camp for an extended amount of time, and then it's over... all the fun, friends, and freedom (once again, sweet alliteration). Moving back to "Grr" would be like returning home after a 4 year stay at summer camp. DAMN! It's been 4 years?! Where did it all go? Lordamercy...
That leads me to my final thought of this election evening (alliteration, part III): I am a senior in college. There is so much petty bullshit that is around me. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of allowing myself to let people piss me off... you see that... I'M taking responsibility for it. It's no one's fault but mine. People can do things all they want, but I have realized that you have to be responsible for your feelings and attitude. No one can make you feel any sort of way. Someone can push you, spit on you, cuss you out, make fun of you, throw things at you, run over you with a CAT bus, but in the end, your response is up to you... you can't go and say, "(s)he made me do it." There are always 2 options to everything... you can retaliate negatively, or you can just go on about your merry way. Starting now, I'm going on my merry way. People can say what they want... and I'll just go on pretending like they wasted their breath and energy getting pissed off at me, 'cause I'm not going to let stupid stuff bother me... and what makes me really excited about this is, I know I can do this... remember the Hamilton that was so passive and non-confrontational... oh, those days are over... thanks to experiences from this past spring.
The goal is to become independent. Twenty-one is too old to worry about what other people think. In the words of Dr. Dre...
Fuck y'all
All of y'all
If y'all don't like me,
Blow me...
2. I titled it for 2 reasons.
(a) The alliteration (you like that, don't you)
(b) Something really was fucked up in our family computer at home, and it would not let me blog!
I had mucho stuff to write about too... Now, I am having a brain fart, and I can't think of anything I wanted to say. I think the brain fart is due to the fact that all brain power in the universe is being used to count the ballots for president. I have to admit... it's a big deal. As much as I hate politics, this is an exciting day. It was my very first presidential election. I voted in the gubernatorial election in 2000, and I was highly disappointed. I voted straight ticket Democrat... I didn't do that this time because first of all, while it would have been very fast, I had already waited 45 minutes in line anyway; secondly, Fletcher Anderson made a dumb ass comment in "The State" paper talking about how it was pretty much a given that minorities vote Democrat; and thirdly, the last time I did that, every Democrat lost... haha.
So today, I voted for Kerry... for Inez, and also for the mini bottles. My biggest concern is for the mini bottles. They are cool! And they make South Carolina special! We are the weirdos that have little colorful bottles lining the shelves of our bars and the weirdos that get more drunk than people in other states. LET THE MINI BOTTLE LIVE ON!
Anyway, enough of that election mumbo jumbo. Back to things on a smaller scale... oh that's right... I CAN'T REMEMBER ANY OF THEM BECAUSE MY COMPUTER AT HOME WOULDN'T LET ME TYPE ANYTHING!!!
But I do remember one thing... plans after college... this is so serious. What to do? Well, the choice was work, or go to grad school. My main concern was if I did work, I did not want to live at home. I'm ready to be on my own. Well, I found out this weekend that my parents want me to go straight to grad school too. I was kind of shocked 'cause I thought that they were gonna want me home as soon as I got done with college. That would suck so bad though. I mean, that is like a HUGE fear for me... I have been having visions of it all... It reminds me of summer camp. I go to summer camp for an extended amount of time, and then it's over... all the fun, friends, and freedom (once again, sweet alliteration). Moving back to "Grr" would be like returning home after a 4 year stay at summer camp. DAMN! It's been 4 years?! Where did it all go? Lordamercy...
That leads me to my final thought of this election evening (alliteration, part III): I am a senior in college. There is so much petty bullshit that is around me. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of allowing myself to let people piss me off... you see that... I'M taking responsibility for it. It's no one's fault but mine. People can do things all they want, but I have realized that you have to be responsible for your feelings and attitude. No one can make you feel any sort of way. Someone can push you, spit on you, cuss you out, make fun of you, throw things at you, run over you with a CAT bus, but in the end, your response is up to you... you can't go and say, "(s)he made me do it." There are always 2 options to everything... you can retaliate negatively, or you can just go on about your merry way. Starting now, I'm going on my merry way. People can say what they want... and I'll just go on pretending like they wasted their breath and energy getting pissed off at me, 'cause I'm not going to let stupid stuff bother me... and what makes me really excited about this is, I know I can do this... remember the Hamilton that was so passive and non-confrontational... oh, those days are over... thanks to experiences from this past spring.
The goal is to become independent. Twenty-one is too old to worry about what other people think. In the words of Dr. Dre...
Fuck y'all
All of y'all
If y'all don't like me,
Blow me...
*Please pardon the persistent use of pungent profanity in this portion of my personal thoughts.*
(Alliteration, Part IV, baby... what...)
(Alliteration, Part IV, baby... what...)
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