Friday, December 31, 2004

for the love of money

The O'Jays definitely said it best. It's crazy what people will say or do for the love of money.

My dad used to work at Rich's Department Store. He worked there for a hella long time, only to quit when my little brother wrote this letter in 4th grade saying he wanted his daddy home for christmas. At Rich's, biennially, they have inventory, when they count up all the stock in the store. People talk about inventory the way someone would talk about getting a spinal tap... they hate it. They are apparently the shittiest 2 weeks of the year.

My mom and dad told me that I should do it. I didn't really want to... but because of their persisting and statements like, "Why wouldn't you want to do it? Everyone wants a little extra money! What is wrong with you? You need the experience," I am doing it. I don't want to. I would love to stay home and do nothing next week... my LAST week of doing that. But now I have to work from 6 am to noon for $6 and hour.

When I told my parents that I didn't want to do it because of it's bad reputation, my dad was like, "No one is 100% content with their job." Well that sucks for them. Why would you want to work in a job that you don't enjoy? That makes no sense whatsoever. If you can't wake up every morning and enjoy what you are going to do that day, then why do it? What is your motivation? I mean, my dad should know... HE QUIT RICH'S for goodness sake.

Whatever... "money, money, money, money... MONEY."

the dentist

They should pay people to go to the dentist. That stuff hurts. I went today, and it was my first time since 2000. I guess that was probably why it hurt so bad. Apparently, stuff had bult up around my teeth that was causing my gums to bleed randomly. Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything else, because I don't want you to be grossed out like I have been for the past 2 weeks... I won't give any specifics.

Anyway, the dentist hurt like a mofo. They want to do it again in a week and a half, but go DEEPER this time. I'm so nervous. But the dentist said my gums will feel great after that. ::sigh::

That trip to the dentist comes after one more week of being at home alone (seriously alone... my parents will be back at work and my brother will be back at school), the beastly Praxis II on January 8, and my first peer wedding on January 9. I just want to go back to school. I just want to be around people my age... that aren't MARRIED. Geez. And when I say MARRIED, that doesn't mean bound together by a legal document, but I mean stuck so far up each others' ass that they have lost social skills with UNsignificant others.

Anyway, tomorrow is New Years Eve, and the only thing I am looking forward to is the fact that the day after tomorrow, it will officially be the year in which i graduate from college. That is exciting... and the ONLY thing exciting about tomorrow. Even though I have the opportunity to hang out with people my age tomorrow, part of me doesn't want to. People don't really know what they want to do. And I would be content with sleeping at 12 o'clock (and that's saying a lot, 'cause I normally don't go to sleep until 2 or 3).

Oh well... at the end of the day, there's only one thing that has been there for me whenever I needed it. GSN. Happy 2005, GSN... No whammy, final answer, big money, you are the weakest link... goodbye.

Monday, December 27, 2004

king congruence's top 10s of 2004

Since I have become a television guru in the past 2 weeks and seen top 10 list after top 10 list, I think I have beomce an expert in pop culture and TV culture. I have seen specials about A-listers, their weddings, vacation spots, Christmas gifts, cars, and homes... and I think my opionion, I can rank things pretty well (in all actuality, I hate those people from like In Touch magazine and US Weekly who go on VH1 and profess to know the secrets of Britney Spears and her backwards Kabbalah tatoo). Here goes some of MY top 10 lists for the year... and for all time.

Top 10 Females on RW/RR Battle of the Sexes 2
10. Tina - She's a bitch, but she can play the damn game.
9. Coral -Also a bitch, but she has stepped up a lot this season. Her little fling with Abe also showed that she could actually have human feelings.
8. Rachel - Not a novice challenger, but put forth a really good effort without being incredibly dramatic.
7. Sophia - There are 6 team members left, and Sophia is one of the only ones who actually likes people for who they are. If she didn't pout so much, she'd be closer to #1.
6. Robin - A wet-behind-the-ears newbie, but doing a kick ass job.
5. Aneesa - A loyal friend to most of the girls on the team. At least she left because of politics, not because she was a skeeza.
4. Arissa - The baby is scared of heights, but she beat the guys in that bike ramp challenge. She also knows when to keep quiet.
3. Tonya -MY BABY! I love Tonya. Given a different situation, I bet she'd be a hella tight person to hang out with. The reason she wasn't liked very much was only because she was playing the game, and doing a damn good job of it.
2. Ibis - Known as "The Puzzle Person," she was smart, cunning, and not to opinionated. They really would have done well to have kept her and kicked Coral off.
1. Ruthie - She's sweet, smart, and silent, but powerful. Ruthie is the best player on the team. She gets stuff done without getting on people's nerves. She has come a LONG way from when she was on RW Hawaii.

Top 10 Best Game Shows on GSN
10. The Newlywed Game - It's always fun to watch married people bare it all, but not when they are bearing boring stuff from the 70s.
9. Match Game - A great show. It would be even greater if today's viewing audience could play along--but they can't because of the antiquated catch phrases. But Brett Somers MAKES that show.
8. Win Ben Stein's Money - Ben Stein + Jimmy Kimmel = pure genius. The chemistry is hilarious.
7. Millionaire? - Regis is such a nice guy! But those questions past question 9 are pretty much impossible. And why does the 50/50 always take away the two obvious wrong answers?
6. Whammy! - A remake that has actually kept the decency of the old show. There is only one thing that makes the original better...
5. Press Your Luck - THE PRESS YOUR LUCK THEME SONG IS SO MUCH FUN!
4. Lingo - This would have been #1 for me last summer.... before they added that ho Stacey. All she is is a Scandinavian sex pot. Chuck can do it by himself.
3. Friend or Foe - Kennedy is the ONLY reason this is in the top 3. Definitely the funniest host on GSN.
2. Russian Roulette - Who doesn't like watching people drop through holes in the floor?
1. Weakest Link - Anne Robinson is a goddess. She's a bitch, and I love her. BUT, the only reason she is so bitchy is because those fools can't answer those EASY questions right.

Top 7 Nick at Nite Shows (There are only 7 shows)
7. Full House - Seriously, I think everyone got enough of the Tanner girls their first time around. It's so saccharine sweet... ugh.
6. Fatherhood - A brilliant cartoon developed by Bill Cosby, but it doesn't really fit with the rest of the Nick at Nite programming. It really is a kid's show, despite the adult premise of the show.
5. Who's The Boss? - Tony Micelli is a little too pleasant in his situation working as the housekeeper for Angela. Mona is hilarious, but I don't buy the actual premise of the show.
4. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air - This show is hilarious. All the characters in the show make a perfect family, much like the #1 on the list, but honestly, who can beat the Huxtables.
3. Wings - I would LOVE to spend a day at Sandpiper. This airport looks like so much fun. Joe and Brian are the typical bickering brothers, and they couldn't be played by better actors. Faye and Antonio are also especially funny.
2. Roseanne - This is a real family. The Connors of Lanford are everything that the Tanners of San Fransisco aren't. I love this family... the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad. This was the beginning of reality television.
1. The Cosby Show - This is also a real family. They aren't run of the mill midwesterners like the Connors, but they are the forerunners of the Banks of The Fresh Prince--They are an upper class black family with a bunch of kids. But unlike the Banks, they have one element that gives them tons of cool points--one of the funniest men in the world playing their dad.

Top 10 Nick Jr. Shows
10. Little Bear - This is a really child friendly cartoon, and I like it because when I was young I read the books. It lacks excitement though.
9. Littleburg - Our first on the list with puppets and humans. This is a concept that I really like. it mixes fantasy with reality and makes for a lot of fun, however it isn't quite as memorable as the others on the list.
8. Ms. Spider - 3D animation at it's best. This is a cartoon based on the Ms. Spider books. I don't like the bad guy in this cartoon. He is a spider, just like the main character, so I don't see what sets him apart as the bad guy--except for the fact that he looks horrific.
7. The Rubbadubbers - A show borrowed from our BBC friends, this claymation type show is tons of bathtime fun. The songs and story lines are great, but the fact that everything takes place around the bathtub gets a little boring.
6. Maggie and the Ferocious Beast - THE PIG'S NAME IS HAMILTON! I love it. This is a really sweet show about the friendship between a little girl, Maggie, and her made up ferocious friend Beast. Beast is the furthest thing from ferocious though. He lacks a lot of common sense, and Hamilton the pig is a random character. It's a fun show, but kinda random all together.
5. Blue's Clues - This show looks like it takes place on a felt play board. It's a lot of fun and very educational. Unfortunately, it is a little older than the top 4, which places it at number 5.
4. Little Bill - This very unique cartoon is based on the humor of Bill Cosby. The man has a great grasp for what goes on in little kids' heads. This is brilliant and viewers will find themselves really liking the main character, Little Bill.
3. Lazy Town - This is the second show on the list with a mix of puppets and people. There is a better mix here than that of Littleburg. It's got fun, action packed plots, and bright, colorful scenery. This is definitely one of Nick Jr.'s best shows.
2. Dora The Explorer - This show makes learning fun. I bet kid's don't even realize how much they learn from this show. Spanish, geography, music, math. This show has got it all, plus the fun plots and sing-along songs.
1. The Backyardigans - The newest show on the list, this show is tons of fun. This is 3D animated, but it has dances choreographed by real dancers. The songs are written by extremely talented songwriters, and it is written by peopole who truly had a love for backyard adventure as kids. Another huge plus for this #1 is it's multicultural cast. Even though they are animals, it is obvous to tell by their names that they are of different ethnic backgrounds.

I think that's enough of me sharing my expertize on television as of right now. This break has been really boring, but I have thoroughly enjoed vegging out in front of the television all day and all night long. Tomorrow, a new episiode of The Real World comes on. Landon is supposed to go homicidal on Melanie tomorrow, so it should be good! Now it's time to go watch #7 of the top 10 GSN games, which is already in progress...

Sunday, December 26, 2004

the last day of childhood

Christmas Day, 2004... I believe it was the last day of childhood. Why you ask? 'Cause for some reason, people at church today decided to start radically treating me like an adult. I mean, it's not weird that they have started treating me like an adult, but it's just the short amount of time in which they began doing this.

I was at church last Sunday, and I was even there Wednesday night. I was still "Hammy" and "Hammerhead" then. But today all of a sudden, people didn't recognize me, and I was called "Hamilton" in grown-up hoity toity voices. I mean, okay, these are people that have known me since I was 8. Regardless of how old I am now, I still expect them to treat me like I am younger than them. I don't want to be on the same level as them... to a degree...

You know, I want to grow up, definitely, but for some reason, being treated the same as those people at church just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe it's because of how spiritually mature they are??? I dunno. It's just something...

But seriously, Ms. Pam came up to me at church and said, "Hey, Hammy! Oh, excuse me--Hi, Hamilton. You're too old for Hammy now." I was like, "Um, no, you can still call me that." Then, her husband (I dunno if this is coincidence or what) LaVelle came up and was like, "Hey, Hammerhead! I mean, Hamilton." I just looked at him like he was insane. Did I have a gray hair? Do I need Botox? What's the dilly, yo? I even shaved this morning!

This lead me to the conclusion that yesterday was the last day of my childhood. But if my childhood did just end this week, it was probably Christmas Eve. I didn't get anything "fun" for Christmas yesterday. And to be quite honest, Christmas just felt like another day. I was talking to Missy last night, and she was like, "You know we are getting old now. You got stuff for your career." She was referring to the leather bag I got for student teaching.

It's true, unfortunately.

Anyway, one last thing that happened today at church that really made an impression on me. The congregational hymn today was "Yield Not to Temptation." One of my favorites because of the way it sounds. Today I came to appreciate it for more than that though. It will always be a song of inspiration to me because of these 2 lines:

To him that o'ercometh, God giveth a crown;
Through faith we shall conquer, though often cast down

A crown. It made me smile.

See, while this whole King Congruence psuedonym started out as a playful little name from 10th grade geometry class, I have always wanted to be that of a king... someone who is looked up to, admired, highly respected, and never intimidated. Well, I was certainly not made that way. This is, however, what I strive to be. I strive to be the best... and the words of this song help me believe that. If I can overcome my obstacles and do my best, I can be the best, and actually achieve that figurative crown... and the way to overcome my obstacles is only by faith... the knowledge that even though I can't see it, it will happen.

Hmm... yeah, I guess I have grown up a little...

Friday, December 24, 2004

3rd shift

My mom says I'm on third shift... When everyone else in the house goes to sleep, I am pretty much just getting started. Not incredibly true most of the time, but today, it kinda was. I went to bed at 4:30 following my favorite episode of Wings on Nick at Nite (the episode where Casey and Brian burn Joe and Helen's house down while having sex). I slept until 1, just in time to catch the theme song of The Backyardigans that I love so dearly. Then I went to lie down in my bed for a little, with no intentions of falling back asleep. But I did until 4:30. So I started the day at 4:30 this afternoon.

Now, it's 1:43 and everyone is in bed... but me. I'm watching Who's the Boss? and just got done preparing some Christmas presents. So, I decided to get on here and play some. It's getting boring and I think I would be more intrigued with what's going on between Angela and Tony over at the television.

...it's so sad that I have become a slave of the television. But I guess it's okay, 'cause I don't really get a chance to watch it during school. I better enjoy this 3rd shift thing while it lasts, 'cause this time next semester, I will have been in the bed for at least 2 hours... Yeah... lemme take advantage of this 3rd shift thing...

Thursday, December 23, 2004

bad

When I get asked how my Christmas break has been going, I answer that... bad. It hasn't been good. Lets go over what I have done... watched people install hardwood floors in my house, paint pen cups for all the little bebe's at church, watched hours and hours of GSN, become a Laguna Beach addict (so tragic), finish reading the fifth Harry Potter, completed the first in A Series of Unfortunate Events, stayed up 'til 2 and 3 am, and woken up at 1 pm. Yep. I would say that has been the recipe for a bad break.

Right now (OOH, ROSEANNE IS COMING ON!), I am up watching Nick at Nite, talking to Matt Lub, and making thefacebook my bitch by sending holiday messages to friends from high school, middle school, and I just sent one to a friend from day care. Thefacebook is a wonderful thing.

I decided the other night that I am not going to New Jersey to visit Betsy... lack of money... and a sudden lack of interest. Seriously. All I can say is that it is not time for another engagement... I can't f-ing take it. I'm on engagement overload.

In other news, I'm not even supposed to be on this computer. My dad came downstairs the other night while I was vegging out to--well whaddya know?--Nick at Nite and goes, "You and Donovan aren't allowed on the computer. Y'all broke it." And the record stopped and the cars halted to a stop... I was responsible for this POS computer being "broken?" WTF? I have a 4 year old, cheap ass eMachine and Lord knows that I do my share of word processing and internet browsing. This thing is only about 2 years old and it is a Hewlett-Packard. If this thing is messed up it is no fault of mine... and besides, I JUST GOT HOME LAST WEEK! Well, I expressed my frustration to my mom and she took my side for once... She told me I could get on it when my dad wasn't around. I thought it was funny. Definitely a moment from The Fairly Odd Parents... oh yeah... I have become THE TV junky since I have been home.

Let's see, what else? Oh yeah, Christmas... that is coming up soon. Not like I can tell or anything. There are no signs of Christmas here except for the presents that people from church and my mom's office have given her that are sitting in the corner of the family room by the recliner. Yeah. So Merry Christmas... I miss the way things used to be. My aunt actually told me tonight at church that I am at that age where Christmas isn't for me anymroe. "Christmas is for children," she said. "I have to remind myself of that every year." And she's 34. I thought that once you turn 21, you just kinda figure it out. But I guess not. I kinda think the reason she feels that way though is because she really doesn't have anyone to buy her anything. It's just her and her 13 year old son, so it's not like he can really get her anything too nice. One day, I'm going to get something really nice for my aunt... to make up for her Christmases that she missed out on. Maybe someone will do the same for me when I am 34 and single...

Bad... just bad...

Monday, December 20, 2004

to the eastside high school class of 2001...

Tonight Todd held his annual Christmas party. It's always fun to go to the party because usually it is a chance for people from high school that are at different colleges to get together and reminisce on how things were and talk about how things are going now. This years party was a little different from normal... This is the last one.

See, Todd is graduating from college this May, along with most of the people that go to the party each year. After 4 years, we are going to be completely done with college, which in a way means we will be done with each other. Sure we will always be able to get in touch with each other through e-mail and the phone, but after this year, there is no absolute...

Every year since this one, we could pretty much always count on being home within the vicinity of Eastside and each other at Christmas time. Next year, people will be working jobs, possibly in far away cities, with significant others, and possibly new additions to their families.

Even this year, we discussed some of the people from high school who have already crested that hill in their life... our classmates who are married, have children... It's so weird to think that that time has actually come for us. And you know, in a way, it kinda catches you off guard. Four years ago, we were all at the same spot in our lives... graduating from high school. Now, 4 years later, we all aren't at the same spot anymore. That's kinda scary.

So among that class of about 250, there are now college students, college graduates, graduate students, workers, mothers, fathers, fiancees, husbands, wives... Among that class of 250, there are adults.

And even though this was the last "Todd's Annual Christmas Party," there will be plenty more Christmas parties for all of us... with plenty more people and plenty memories to look back on. Life has pretty much just begun for us. We haven't experienced anything... maybe that is why they call graduation "commencement." Maybe our lives are just now commencing...

Saturday, December 18, 2004

negroes

My dad is at it again. I hate when he plays the race card. I hate when ANYONE plays the race card.

Right now, I am listening as he is talking to the men doing our hardwood floors downstairs.

He just told a story about how a man at North Greenville College where he teaches asked him how he can drive the car that he does (a BMW 745iL), and the man was only driving his car (whatever it was). My dad said he asked him, "What do you mean? How can a BLACK man drive a car like this?"

OMG! The statement of an angry black man if I have ever seen one.

Then, I hear the truth about why I live where I live. My dad says, "Well, we got here in 1985 and my wife and I tried to find a black neighborhood. All we could find was Pine Hill and I was like, 'That's it?' So I met this man and asked him if he knew a church we could go to. He directed us to Enoree Fork and we've been over on this side of town ever since." BOO! Excuse me for just one second. I am SO glad that I don't live in a "black neighborhood." And I don't care if I sound like I am "denying my blackness" or whatever. What is considered "a black neighborhood," anyway? Is that a neighborhood void of white people? Because if so, that is the furthest thing from reality if I have ever seen one.

My God?! Why do black people feel the need to segregate themselves from the rest of society. See, there was this thing called the Civil Rights movement that made everyone equal. Blacks, whites, ANYONE can live where ever they want and do whatever they want. Everyone is always talking about how, white people are still suppressing the black man. Well excuse the phrase, but FUCK ALL OF YOU who say that. I know for a fact that it is possible for a black man or woman to do everything that a white man or woman can do.

That dumb bitch Stacie on The Apprentice was like, "You can't be black and go on reality television, because regardless of what you do, you are going to end up being called crazy." Shut the hell up, you peasy headed girl... The reason why YOU were considered crazy is because your damn ass is CRAZY! Kevin on the show didn't say that. He said just the opposite. "No one stereotypes you to be anything on these shows. You end up being labeled exactly what you are. If you are a successful and intelligent individual, you will be seen that way." And "my brotha" made it to the last 4 people on the show.

Don't sit there and tell me that black people can't do it. If you think that, it's because YOU as a black person lack the confidence not in black people, but in yourself. When I tried out for drum major, lots of black people in the band told me that a black person would never be drum major at Clemson. Well here's a big FUCK YOU to them as well... I did it, bitches. AND SO DID LEROY! THAT'S TWO BLACK MOTHERFUCKERS FOR YOU! And if you look back at pictures, there have been black drum majors BEFORE the two of us. So as much as I would like to take pride in saying that I was SO great because I was A BLACK DRUM MAJOR AT CLEMSON, big fucking deal. It happened before me, it will happen after me. On top of that, this man who is somehow related to me, was telling my dad that it was SUCH a big deal for me to be in the position I was in at Clemson because of the history of the university and the race relations therein. WHATEVER! He has yet to tell me the huge statement I made as a black man, but to be completely honest and true, I don't buy it one bit. When Harvey Gantt, the first black student, came to Clemson , they documented it as "Integration with Dignity" or something like that... it says it in this plaque out front of Tillman Hall. Apparently, race relations have not been a big deal at Clemson. Yes it is in the heart of the conservative south, but all conservative southern people are not Klans members that want to see black people fail... just like not all black people are failures at life.

BLACK PEOPLE CAN DO EVERYTHING THAT WHITE PEOPLE CAN DO. We are not better, we are not worse. We are equal. And I am sick of people drawing the line between the two. I am sick of being told not to trust white people. I am sick of being told "what white people do" and "what black people do." I am sick of heing criticized because I talk like "a white person." I am sick of being criticized because I don't hang out with JUST black people. I am sick of other black people segregating themselves from the racial whole. I'm sick of it all.

I am an intelligent, successful, determined, goal oriented HUMAN BEING that does not give a flying rats ass about color or race. The color of my skin is nothing but that, the color of my skin. Within it does not lie disadvantage or advantage. If I am unsuccessful, it is because I, HAMILTON PARKS was not prepared or qualified enough... NOT because I am black.

So this is a warning... I suggest if you are going to discuss race around me, you better think again. I'm through with dealing with race.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

changes on bushberry way

Well, my first full day... wait a minute... I am typing in IE... and it's working! HOLY SH*T!

Anyway... today was my first full day at home. I woke up at 12. I had scrambled eggs. I watched GSN. I played on thefacebook. I ate dinner. I watched The Apprentice (boo for Kelly beating Jenn). I played on thefacebook again.

The life of a god, right? WRONG. In between playing on thefacebook and dinner, I experienced 2 pretty weird things at my house. First of all, my mom came home and told me all about "the facelift" our house is getting. Tomorrow, they start putting in hardwood floors all throughout the downstairs. I think it should be pretty nice, although I am not looking forward to moving crap around. Also, we are going to be painting... like EVERYTHING. My house is really open. The foyer and family room are pretty much one big open space. So we are painting the foyer wine and the family room champagne (ooh... alchohol... LOL). It's going to look REALLY different around here. I guess this place could use something to make me want to be here... but it's still no substitute for an f-ing Christmas Tree.

The second weird thing in the house was in the form of my brother walking into the house at 6:15 with keys in his hand. Yes. My little brother is driving now. IT IS SO WEIRD! I feel so old. But, I am SO glad that I don't have to play taxi anymore. At dinner he was all like, "Booooooooooy... I'm so excited! Tomorrow's Friday and I can driiiiiiiiive!" I was like, "So." Apparently it is a big deal that he is going to be able to drive a mile up the road to the basketball game to the school where he spends the whole day anyway. I guess I shouldn't be so insennsitive... it's something new to him.

Anyway, I should go to bed soon. I have to be up early to move stuff out of my parents' bedroom so they can start on the floor in there in the morning. I'm looking forward to going back to CU for the basketball game tomorrow though...

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

panic in greer

Wow. There was about to be some serious issues here in Greer. Yeah, that's where I am. I have decided to go ahead and deal with the fact that I live in Greer. I don't live in Greenville. I live in Greenville County, but my mailing address is Greer... now that I have claimed Greer, Hoke needs to give up Clemson and go ahead and claim Seneca... at least it's not Walhalla... OR GREER!

Anyway, the panic I was talking about was in reference to not being able to post from the IE on this computer. I don't know what the dilly is here. Something is always short bus about this computer. Thankfully, I can blog using Netscape, so that is what I'll be using while I am home this break. Netscape v7.1: Preferred by Bloggers in Greer (just a little plug).

Well, I haven't written in a good long while. Exams are over. I made 3 As and 3 Bs. A 3.35. I am okay with this, although I really wanted a 3.5. Now my cumulative GPA is 3.25. I'm not happy about it either. Luckily though, I am taking 13 hours next semester, which should be 13 hours worth of As. I don't know if that will bump me up to a 3.4. That is the goal, 'cause that is cum laude.

As for graduation, I am once again at a crossroads about where I want to go next year. A lot of my friends at Clemson are trying to get me to stay. I know I would have a good time. But I REALLY don't want to be that old guy (aka Tarik... LOL). Right now, my applications to all 3 schools are only partly complete. I have to give out recommendation forms and send in money to USC and Clemson and fill out a whole 2nd part of the UGA application. I think I am going to be lazy and just not finish applying there. Seriously. I would be close to my UGA friends, and it would be a lot of fun... I dunno. I'll apply there if I get really bored and have nothing else to do... so it looks like I'll be applying there.

I thought I had more to say... I haven't written since the 8th... so I guess it's been a week. Tragic. Sorry about that. I guess I just enjoyed my time in Clemson without class and exams a little too much. But, not to worry. I am home in GrOSS now and me and Netscape are going to blog the Christmas Holidays away.

OH... THAT'S what I wanted to discuss a little. The Christmas Holidays at my house. Well, it doesn't feel like Christmas. We haven't truly done a Parks Family Christmas since I was in high school. Year by year, we have dwindled down to this year, in which we don't even have a tree. My mom was all like, well, you know we are having a lot of work done on the house. Yeah. We are painting and getting hardwood floors all throughout the downstairs... but part of me thinks that we wouldn't do a tree even if there wasn't anything going on. There used to be a time when our house was the brightest in the neighborhood. Now it's by far the dullest. Home just feels weird now. I hardly know it. I don't want to be here half the time. It's sad, 'cause I remeember in 8th grade when I LONGED to be in this house while it was being built. Eight years later, it's just my folks' house. But don't get me wrong... my apartment at The Reserve isn't home either. I think I am just ready for my own steady place. Something that I can really call mine...

...I think the want for this has sprung from episodes of How Clean is Your House? and Trading Spaces... lots more of that and other TV shows to watch over break... oh joy.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

t'was the night before my last exam...

...and in a cup in my hand, was a concoction of 99 Apples and fruit punch. That is right, fellers. A toast to being done with making up that beast of a cheat sheet for Dr. Dunston's sorry exam. Wanna know how I really feel? This is the away message I made up... inspired by the "Stressed Out College Student During Exam Week" away message that has been floating around...

today we salute you, dr. dunston... a real american hero. you stepped up to be our fourth read teacher after one had a meltdown, the other was a succubus, and the next found out teaching 2 classes would stress out her pregnancy. you live all the way in athens, ga, but brave i-85 every day to come teach us pissed off 4th year elementary ed students. you taught us as much as you could in 3 weeks, and you are even allowing us to use a cheat sheet for the final! how nice, seeing how the word on the street is that your exam is going to be impossible even WITH the cheat sheet. so dr. dunston, crack open a nice cold bud light... and hope that none of your read 460 students pissed in it.

Yes. The teacher that was our "saving grace" better watch out and save her own ass. Well, I guess that isn't necessary, seeing that we can't really evaluate her because SHE HASN'T BEEN OUR TEACHER THE WHOLE TIME. I think they should just let us evaluate the entire School of Education... with one of our famous rubrics that we learned about... you know, it's so sad that they were able to turn a batch of decent, upstanding, moral, teachers-to-be into a bunch of highly intelligent, pissed off, homicidal young adults. I hope they are happy with themselves.

I'm not going to study a drop more tonight. But I do plan on indulging in a few more drops of this beverage... lol. It's a celebration. Tomorrow, I will take the last final of my undergraduate career. Wow. I'm so utterly excited. However, on January 8th, I have to take the Praxis II... not looking forward to that... a WHOLE DAY full of questions about teaching... I could cry right... but I'm too excited about being done with finals here at Clemson.

Oh well... 10:17 pm and nothing to do until 12 noon tomorrow... I think some TV and lounging is definitely in order... as well as some more of this delicous spirit...

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

skeezas, part ii

Well, well, well... How the sure-of-themselves have fallen. How the skeezas have proven themselves skeeza-ish.

Remember all that bitching last Tuesday when my group made up the rubric for our presentation... I'll refresh your memory... 1 to 4 point... 1 being the worst, 4 being the best... 1 point if your presentation was 2 minutes or less, 4 if your presentation was 5 minutes or more... 5 minutes was too much for some people so the griped and complained...

AND THEN WHEN THEIR TURN CAME TO PRESENT ON TUESDAY, THOSE SAME SKEEZAS TOOK FIFTEEN F-ING MINUTES!

Skeezas.

As for Dr. Kaminskeeza, she's not so bad anymore... mainly because I don't have her anymore. MUAH HA HA HA HA! And she was ever so sachharine sweet to us on Tuesday... bringing us in donuts when she wasn't sure that we were even going to get 85% of the class to do her teacher evaluation. HA! That woman, bless her heart. Did she really think that the majority of the class WASN'T going to grill her ass? She got all ones and twos from me... a couple of threes, but on the whole, she didn't do well with me. I did, however, say that she smiled a lot, which made up for the times when all of us were really mad at her. Too bad she didn't bring us donuts and stuff like every class... I think the super-sweetness of the Krispy Kreme would have overshadowed her skeeza tendencies.

Anyway, two more exams to go. Is it okay that I don't want to do ANYTHING anymore? I got my student teaching assignment today, so all I can think of is doing that. I am going to be at Code in Mrs. Stephens' class where I wanted to be... I am SO excited. NO CLASS whatsoever. And I talked to Christy from camp today who teaches at Code now, and she said that I am really going to enjoy student teaching. I really hope so. It will be great to get in there and do something after sitting on my duff all Christmas break... eating ice and getting yelled at for it... MOTHER, I ATE A BIG CALZONE TONIGHT, SO I'M NOT JUST EATING ICE ANYMORE...

I would never call my mother a skeeza, but I have to admit her behavior on the phone on Sunday night was definitely skeeza-ish. I am sure that she will prove herself to have many more skeeza tendencies when I go home for break... I REALLY hope I get to go up to New Jersey to visit Betsy with the gang for New Years. Oh, mommy... please don't be a skeeza when it comes to letting me go up there...

...two more exams. I don't think I'm studying for the one on Thursday. Dr. Dunston (Read Teacher v4.0) is definitely not a skeeza... she is letting us have a cheat sheet with whatever we want on it. She obviously does not know my talent with small fonts. Watch me take my whole Read notebook into that exam on that sheet of paper...

Sunday, December 05, 2004

ice, ice, baby

I believe I have talked about my mom in here before... and how utterly ridiculous she can be sometimes.

This entry is nothing but a reaction to a phone call I got this evening. First of all, lemme put this into perspective for you (hold on, I feel the need to go get a cup of ice water first)...

Okay. I'm back. Anyway. Whenever I get a call from my parents, whether it be from one of their cell phones or from my house, the ring is the "Kick" tone. If you have a Nokia phone, you know what it sounds like. It kinda sounds like the "You're In Trouble" ring. Yeah. So I'm eating dinner, when all of a sudden, I hear this "kick." It's my mom. She asks me about what's going on... why I didn't go to church today... and then...

>>CRUNCH!<<

"What are you eating?" she asks. I tell her it's just ice. Then she freaks out... "Do you eat ice a lot? Are you just doing it because you were drinking something and it is done now, or have you been doing this for a while?" What kind of answer do you give to a question like this?! Well, yeah, mom, you caught me... I've been illegally crunching ice, and I know that I am under age and should not do it until it's legal at 37, but I just have to have it... I'M ADDICTED! Well, I simply told her that I always do it. I like crunching ice. Then she goes, "Well, two things: I heard that it's not good for your teeth, and I also heard if you crush ice a lot it means something." This is coming from a woman who stopped taking us to the dentist because we never had cavities and because the secretary at the dentist's office saw my dad at the mall and told him that we had a bill we needed to pay... and she is concerned about my teeth? I doubt it, highly. She is concerned I have the "something" that crushing ice "means..."

Well, yes, mommy... IT MEANS THAT I LIKE CRUNCHING ICE!

I really hate the losers who sit there in their think tanks and come up with reasons why people do little quirky things. People have their little habits because they satisfiy their need to do them. Just because someone wears a trucker hat, it doesn't mean that they are trying to attract a certain type of individual. Just because a person wears black doesn't mean they are contemplating death (my mother subscribed to both of these theories until I set her straight).

Just another thing to look forward to when I go home for a month...

a nasty dream

I said these words to my roommates this morning, and I believe they thought I was going to talk about a wet dream. If that is what you are in search of, go here. But if not, stay a while and listen to this disturbing and disgusting dream that I had last night.

First of all, I must say that if you look at my profile, you will see that I am a member of a blog entitled My Dreams. I was invited to join by Sammie... Tragically, Sammie has not kept up with it. I myself only wrote one entry in it. So, I'm not going to put this dream in there (however, the dream that I put in there DID come true... Clemson DZ's... Candie Mallory and Jourdan Davis are the only acceptable ones). Anyway...

So, I believe that it started in the parking lot of my high school... which is exactly 1 mile away from my house. I really needed to use the bathroom. But instead of going back into the school, I just decide to shoot it home as fast as I can. Well, I couldn't make it. So, I stopped at the Amoco at the light right up from my house. Normally, this Amoco station, which is infamous for outrageous gas prices, is just a puny little regular Spinx gas station. But in this dream, the Amoco had turned into a big ol' travel stop... like one of those Flying J places on the side of I-85. Anyway, I go in, and there are tons of people around. This is also weird because the gas station is in the middle of suburbia. It's about 5 miles to the highway, and there is nothing around but churches, schools, grocery stores, and hundreds of neighborhoods. Well, among the travelers stopped at the Super-Amoco is none other than Daniel Crout... a freshman tuba player in the band (who just got a bid to KKPsi--CONGRATS!). I don't have time to talk to him though, because not only do I need to use the bathroom terribly, but I am hungry and extremely thirsty. So, I grab a can of Coke and pop it open to quench my thirst before I use the bathroom... When I walk up to the bathroom, I notice that there are many, but they are all pretty crowded. I wait my turn HOPING that the bathroom that opens up when it is my turn is clean and decent. Well, when the little boy comes out ogf the bathroom, it's my turn. I didn't like the thought of leaving my Coke outside of the bathroom in the midst of all the travelers... I was afraid someone might steal it or put something in it. But I didn't want to take it into the bathroom... that just seemed... nasty. Well, I did it anyway...

That bathroom... was the sickest, nastiest, most grotesque thing I have ever dreamed in my life. The floor was dirty, and back behind the toilet against the wall there was nasty brown grimy grungy stinky stuff. The toilet was atrocious, there was bodily fluid everywhere, and it was just wet with nastiness. The bathroom was really just a stall, but it had a rusty brown paper towel dispenser on the right wall when you walked in. The left wall of the bathroom/stall wasn't a wall at all... it was nothing more than a board. Kinda like it was meant to be a stall. But this board was well above waist level, so the person on the other side could see all your junk.

Well, I held my breath as I began to use the bathroom because it stank so bad. Well, you know how sometimes you go into a stinky place and you can hold your nose, but your mouth is still open, but you don't even want to hold your mouth open because the air is so nasty tasting and you don't want to digest any of the bacteria floating around in the air? Well, that's how I felt. So, I held my nose and shut my mouth and tried to pee as fast as I could. Then, I realized that in the "stall" next to mine, there was a man with a little boy. I think the little boy was not old enough to go to the bathroom by himself, so his dad was helping him. Remember how I said there was a board that did not go down very far? Well, in this space between the board and the floor, the little boy managed to miss the toilet and hit me. I gasped at the nastiness that was occurring, which made me smell the stench of the room as well as open my mouth, so I quickly zipped up and retreated from the disgusting stall with my Coke.

But once I got out, I realized there was no use of the Coke anymore... It was contaminated with whatever was in that bathroom. So I threw it away and eyed a bag of pizza flavored Doritos that I saw before I went to the bathroom... Then I started to gag. I didn't want those Doritos anymore. I had lost my appetite and was now getting sick to my stomach.

I walked away from the food aisles and towards the door where Daniel was sitting. I was still gagging profusely when he chuckled and said, "You went into that bathroom, didn't you?" I nodded and continued to gag. Then, nauseated, I walked to my car to go home... Somewhere between getting into the car and driving home, I woke up.

It was SO ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. What does it all mean?

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

"my heart is racing, i want to scream"

-Little Pill, Encaustic

I'm listening to them now. I love them. I was introduced to them by my friend Will Sloop. It turns out I liberated it from Patrick's car, who liberated it from Will. I took it to Beaufort over Thanksgiving break and wore the CD out. It's good.

Anyway, the line from that song really describes what's going on in the Kingdom of Congruence. King Congruence broke a Ham Rule last night. Yeah... like right after I wrote about how good I had been and how I hadn't broken any in a while.

I was at TD's with some of the Block 3 divas and some of my Gamma Sig sorors... Talk about the opposite of a sausage party (I think back freshman year, we called instances like so "biscuit parties")! Anyway, this individual from a class a while ago came up. I do believe that what was said was a product of my buddy, Bud... you know him, right? Yeah, Bud Light. Anyway, good ol' Bud made me break the Ham Rule. I actually had a crush on this person... back a while ago. Well it turns out that this person broke up with their boyfriend (I know this sounds SO absolutely terrible). My eyes lit up... not really because I was like, "Now I have a chance." I actually, didn't even realize that there was a boyfriend in the first place when I first started liking this person. I found out late last year. Anyway, some of the B3 divas were telling me that I should go for it... hrmph. Right. I may have self-proclaimed a crush, but I will not fall. Remember? I think I talked about that in one of my recent entries. So, a big no for that. As for the aforementioned individual... who knows. They are supposed to be downtown tomorrow night...

This entry was meant to be a serious one... so I don't think that I'll talk about everything that happened last night. I want the entry to be about my situation and my breaking of a Ham Rule. But I will say that I saw my friend Lindsay Kelly from high school and she really just warmed my heart. It was so good to see her... It was actually a testimony to me that even though time passes and things and people change, sometimes the change is for the better... I'm so proud of her and the woman she's become.

As for me and this road to becoming a successful man... it sure as Hell is bumpy...