stolen identity

Well, on Friday, I realized that something was up with my bank account.

I was supposed to have gotten paid Thursday night, so when I woke up and checked my account online and saw $160 missing and that my check had not even cleared, I knew something was wrong.

When I called the bank on Friday afternoon, I learned that apparently, I had made a $981 debit to Western Union to some woman in Las Vegas, Nevada. And also, I apparently had called from my phone, given my address for confirmation... it was the weirdest thing.

So, someone apparently stole my identity AND my bank card number and did all this online.

Boo.

I just thought you'd like to know about it.

I will apparently get those funds back, if they do actually clear the bank. As for right now, my card number has been nullified and I am waiting on a new one.

In other news, I'm pretty bored... and blah. No use in complaining though...

lame?

Am I lame?

I mean, I try to be a fun guy, but you know, sometimes, funness doesn't lend itself to me.

Like last night, for example...

I know that I was not the most exciting guy ever at the event that I went to, but I think I had good reason to not be highly amused.

First of all, I am a shy individual. I am. I just am. I can't help it. It doesn't mean that I am a prude, or not fun, or boring... it just means that it takes a minute for me to warm up to people. I think most people would agree that once I have warmed up, I am quite an enjoyable person to be around. It just takes me a minute. It also takes something else...

For me to warm up to a person, that person has to be worth my warming up. Now this is where I know that I am going to come off as a snob or sadiddy... but you know what, I could really care less. It has taken me a lot to get to the point where I am in my life, and I am not going to compromise it because there are other people in this world that think that being successful and intelligent is "uncool."

Point blank: I don't like dumb people. Hello? I do have the dumb pe0ple blog. While I haven't written in it in about 2 years, dumb people are STILL out in full force. And, it seems that now that I am out of college and in contact with the non-collegiate world, the ignorance and stupidity is even more rampant than in college. As a matter of fact, I am going to give all of the "dumb pe0ple" addressed in the blog that went to Clemson (and actually FINISHED) a huge apology. Okay, not an apology... yeah, y'all were stupid, but I will charge it to your attempts to live the college life to the fullest ('cause out of college actually is pretty lame).

Anyway, like I said, the dumb people... I hate them. The types of people who do and say stupid things that could be avoided with a little preconcieved thought. I know to the dumb people in question, that takes a lot of the fun away from things, but life can be just as fun... If you learn to appreciate those who do use their minds and not think of them as lifeless losers.

Now, I am in no way saying that anyone called me that or treated me as one (except for one fake tanned janky mout' hobitch with a too small jacket and some $5 bobo shoes who thought she was the most amazing thing that Ohio had to offer). I am just saying that I, honestly, would have considered myself one... I mean, compared to some of the individuals there.

Anyway, I am faced with this dilemma this year in Greenville... I mean, I survived one year... and it was good... Um. SIKE. It was alright. A huge learning experience, yes. Anyway, it seems as if there is a lack of good, decent people to just befriend. I am in NO way looking for an r-thingy. I am, this time, looking for an f-thingy: a FRIENDship. Yes, I have friends here... Steven and Kate most definitely, but they both have their own lives... Kate friggin' has a HUSBAND, HELLO? I also have other friends too... I don't see or talk to them as frequently, but they are around... and of course, there are people from school. I have 3 good teacher friends, but as much as I appreciate them, sometimes, I feel as if there is only so much time I should spend with co-workers. I dunno.

So, I am plagued with being lame and short on friends. It really isn't BAD, persay... just a little... disappointing sometimes. And it's not even really upsetting... just because I understand why: I am young, basically just out of college, NOT dating anyone, and limited with time due to work and school... plus, I am coming out of an amazing college experience with the most amazing friends I could have ever asked for. So, for now, I will deal with coming off as lame. There have to be some other lame people who are also looking for acquaintances...

something from patrick

Patrick said this tonight on the phone and I loved it... I might need to mention it in tomorrow's writing lesson... since we are talking about similies and metaphors.

"Being in a relationship that isn't going anywhere is like going to college and not getting a degree."

I love it. Not only does it make perfect sense and call out those individuals who are in meaningless, stagnate relationships, but it also has the most perfect amount of snobbery: it addresses those less than desirable slackers who feel as if they are on the level of us bachelors who have completed our education processes at institutions of higher learning. We didn't go just to piddle away daddy's money for 7 years... we went to get our learn on...

...wait a minute. The whole point of the quote was about relationships with no direction, right? Sorry... didn't mean to get off on a tangent there.

Patrick is right though. What is the point of being in a relationship like that? When you look at that, and you look at many of the relationships of friends around you, it should make you feel a little better. If you are in a relationship, you should value it's direction, or START a direction if it lacks one... and if you are in the midst of those in relationships... look to see if theirs actually has one... it might make you appreciate the fact that you aren't in one...

HBS

You know how matter of fact people have become with illnesses and diseases? It’s like, “It’s so common and unavoidable that we have just decided to refer to sicknesses with acronyms. IBS, HPV, UTI, HIV, AIDS, STD…

Well, I have come up with a new one… and this one is definitely matter of fact just because there are so many types of these people around, that it really kinda irks me. Okay, it seriously irks me. GRR (and that's not a disease acronym).

HBS.

Horny Bastard Syndrome.

Can I just say that I am SUPER tired of fools with Horny Bastard Syndrome? Let me just say, to the man who thinks with the head in his pants (the tragic victim of HBS), you sir, make me sick.

Here is an example of an individual with HBS:

I was at... an event last month. An event involving some friends. When a friend of a friend (the HBS victim in question) saw 2 highly attractive individuals, the HBS symptoms began showing up... quotes like, "Oooh, DAMN!" and the ever sickening chin rub. Yes, HBS had definitely struck this individual.

And then HBS can appear from distances far away and via communication devices such as AIM. Stupid little jokes, chain letters, and flirty passes can be transmitted asexually... or sexually through MySpace sex (yes... that shit actually happens).

It's an epidemic, folks. HBS is sweeping the nation. Women don't get it as much, but the majority of males between the ages of 16 and 30 have it.

I don't.

when is enough, enough?

I was talking to a friend tonight about an ongoing situation involving a love interest... not mine, remember, I like sandwiches and naps after school... no time for a love interest.

Anyway, after hearing my friend's stories of waiting patiently for IMs, text messages, phone calls, and any other sort of acknowledgement of existence, I began to tire myself. It sucks to see your friends led on and bruised over the potentiality of a possible relationship. I mean, in a way, it hurts just like it would hurt you. I then asked, when is enough, enough?

We all, despite our pessimism, tend to be highly optimisitic. The mere fact that we enter into pursuits of love show that we have some sort of optimisim: "Woah, he/she is nice. I'd like a shot at something special with him/her." No one is TRULY a pessimist... although, at the present moment, I think that I might be the sole textbook definition of one.

But when is enough, enough?

Even though we are highly optimistic creatures, are we also highly masochistic?

sandwich and a nap

So, I just got in from school. It was... a day. Honestly, it was the worst day yet this year. There was obviously something about today, because it was that way in other classrooms at school too. Whatever though. I still think I have a good class. This time last year, my class was in the middle of a steady stream of misbehavior. We're bound to have our good days and bad days, so I'll let them have today.

I thought I had more to write about, but I guess I don't right now. It is pretty early, so I am sure I'll have more to discuss later. All I can think of now is a sandwich and a nap. Yeah, sounds nice.

See? This is why living alone and not having to be accountable to anyone is so great.

'Til later...

the second beginning

Well, from the looks of my last blog entry, one could assume that not only was I coming to the end of hopelessness and all that other stuff, but I was coming to the end of my blogging days completely. That is far from the case. For the past 2 months, I haven't blogged at all... who knows the true reason why. I will say that part of the reason was my involvement in an r-thingy... the r-thingy mentioned in the last entry. Ironically, about a month after I wrote that entry, the r-thingy ceased. I won't lie... unlike the other party involved... it was pleasant while it lasted... and it didn't even end on extremely tragic terms. The end was tragic though... and sharing the title of tragic is my elusive ex.

So, if you haven't gathered yet, I am over it. I have been over it for a while now... I mean, there has been so much other stuff going on anyway... My 23rd birthday, Kate and Deni's FABULOUS wedding, the beginning of school and my INCREDIBLE class, my grad school classes, reconnecting with my amazing friends from Clemson. Forget summertime romances... and romances in general. Also, forget people who need way more than I have to offer in the first place...

Anyway... enough of that.

The main reason why I decided to plop down and start writing tonight is probably because of the point that I have come to in my life. I have gone through ridiculous SHIT this year. There is no need to hide or mask anything. 2006 has been an atrocity of a year. Unfortunately, it is only 3/4 of the way done. I have the fall to worry about now. So far things are good... pretty stagnate and a little boring... but whatever. That's good.

Earlier today, I thought of how good it felt to not be interested in anyone and not have to try to impress anyone or trying to read anyone. I look back at times earlier this year and earlier in life and think about how much of a priority it was for me to be into someone... or have someone remotely into me. It's more trouble than it's worth really. It's tiring... vexxing even. I think that I have come to this place where first of all, I hardly trust anyone (thanks, jerk), and find relationships to be luxuries, not necessities. I know my parents would highly disagree, but I doubt they have been through the mess that I have been through.

It's kinda sad... that I'm 23 and I've pretty much just stopped. I told Steven that last week... "I'm done." And I know I've said it before, but this time, I think I'm pretty sure that I mean it. Actually, I told Steven that I am ruined. Yeah. Ruined definitely describes me at this point. Things that used to make my heart swell with emotion now just make me snicker a little bit--questioning their validity.

Even at Kate and Deni's wedding... an event that at any other time would make me cry like a baby just made me grin. I felt like a dumbass cheshire cat. I can do without acts of kindness and sweet sappy movies like I used to like. It all seems frivolous and fake now. Everything that sounds remotely loving seems to have the taint of dishonesty.

So, let me wrap this up before instead of being cold hearted, I end up sounding like I have no heart at all... this is the second beginning. Not of my life... forget that. I have tried to start over tons of times. I tried to start fresh at the beginning of this year... remember that? "Lose control in '06"? Well, I sure as hell lost it. No sense in trying to regain it or even "TAKE control in THE FALL of '06." I'm simply going to keep on as if Hamilton is the only dude in the world. I have been pretty self centered lately, and judging from how vulnerable I have made myself in the past and how much I think about how others percieve me and who likes me and yadda yadda yadda, that hasn't been an incredibly selfish thing to do. So often I don't give myself enough credit.

Also, I really like the motto that Tiger Band is using this year. It's from Rent. "No Day But Today." That's so true. There is in essence, no day but today... and no one more important today but me.

This is the second beginning...

...and "it's all about the Hamiltons, baby."