ice, ice, baby

I believe I have talked about my mom in here before... and how utterly ridiculous she can be sometimes.

This entry is nothing but a reaction to a phone call I got this evening. First of all, lemme put this into perspective for you (hold on, I feel the need to go get a cup of ice water first)...

Okay. I'm back. Anyway. Whenever I get a call from my parents, whether it be from one of their cell phones or from my house, the ring is the "Kick" tone. If you have a Nokia phone, you know what it sounds like. It kinda sounds like the "You're In Trouble" ring. Yeah. So I'm eating dinner, when all of a sudden, I hear this "kick." It's my mom. She asks me about what's going on... why I didn't go to church today... and then...

>>CRUNCH!<<

"What are you eating?" she asks. I tell her it's just ice. Then she freaks out... "Do you eat ice a lot? Are you just doing it because you were drinking something and it is done now, or have you been doing this for a while?" What kind of answer do you give to a question like this?! Well, yeah, mom, you caught me... I've been illegally crunching ice, and I know that I am under age and should not do it until it's legal at 37, but I just have to have it... I'M ADDICTED! Well, I simply told her that I always do it. I like crunching ice. Then she goes, "Well, two things: I heard that it's not good for your teeth, and I also heard if you crush ice a lot it means something." This is coming from a woman who stopped taking us to the dentist because we never had cavities and because the secretary at the dentist's office saw my dad at the mall and told him that we had a bill we needed to pay... and she is concerned about my teeth? I doubt it, highly. She is concerned I have the "something" that crushing ice "means..."

Well, yes, mommy... IT MEANS THAT I LIKE CRUNCHING ICE!

I really hate the losers who sit there in their think tanks and come up with reasons why people do little quirky things. People have their little habits because they satisfiy their need to do them. Just because someone wears a trucker hat, it doesn't mean that they are trying to attract a certain type of individual. Just because a person wears black doesn't mean they are contemplating death (my mother subscribed to both of these theories until I set her straight).

Just another thing to look forward to when I go home for a month...