2006

The motto for the year is lose control in '06.

Let's discuss for just a moment.

I have taken this motto from Missy Elliott's song of the same name, which has become a party anthem for my friends and I as of late. There aren't many great dance songs right now, but Los Control is definitely a "get krunk" type song. I mean, it is the perfect club song... just do what it says: "Everybody here, get it out of control. Get your backs off the wall 'cause Misdemeanor says so..."

In "losing control" in a life aspect, one might think that it's a bad thing. Like, if you lose control of your car, you crash. If you lose control of your finances, you go in the hole. If you lose control at work, you lose your job. I'm not talking about stuff like that. Because honestly, when I look at those things in my life, I am in complete control (except the fact that my utility bill is almost $300 for the past month... hello! Losing control!!!). But sometimes, when I think of my social life and my LACK of a love life, I am a little too uptight. Not that I am a party pooper or that I am no fun. I just think sometimes, my pretentiousness and insecurities get in the way... I know, right? BIG oxymoron.

How can I be pretentious and insecure at the same time? Well, first off, I am insecure... about a lot of things that I'm not even going to delve into. So, in being insecure about those things, I tend to rest on the things that I DO have going for me. So, while at times I'm like, "Geez, I suck because of yadda yadda yadda," I am also like, "Ugh, I am so above this." It's weird, I know.

So this year, in 2006, my goal is first of all, get rid of my insecurities... By doing that, hoefully, the pretentiousness will be more healthy and deserved (because, lets face it... I enjoy being amongst the upper eschelon of society). The only way to do so, is to lose control. Not dwell so much on why I feel that I'm not so and so because of such and such. Does that make sense?

So basically, I'm going to try to be more carefree. That's what losing control is all about: not harping on things that you really can't change or things that you can change that you just don't have the motivation or drive to change. If you DO want something to change bad enough, then instead of LOSING control, you have to TAKE control.

So there... that is my philosophical spill for the year... and as for 2006 so far, I've "lost control" pretty well. :)