tingle

In a way, this COULD be an extremely trite journal entry. But, due to numerous previous events, a few specific previous events, and the intensity that I am feeling at the present moment, I am going to try my damndest NOT to make this a run-of-the-mill trite ass blog entry.

This weekend, I went to Myrtle Beach. There is something to be said about my company on the trip, but I'm not going to say it. Anyway, I went to Myrtle Beach, and had an awesome time visiting my friend, Alan. I learned probably more about Alan than ANYONE would ever want to know, but honestly, it made me appreciate him even more. It sucks that I just met him a few months ago, and he has already moved away. It's okay though, because it is definitely a reason to go to the beach!

Anyway, one of the many stories Alan told us, was about his very close friend, Steve, who was shot and killed last summer. Steve was our age, and it was an untimely death. I could sympathize due to the loss of Royster last March. Steve, in his death, has meant more to Alan and honestly me than he probably ever did in life. Alan has such a great spiritual life because of Steve and how he had to look to God in order to cope with his death. This story among others made the trip to Myrtle Beach so much more meaningful than just a weekend romp in a cool place.

Alan also introduced me to a truly amazing music group: Keane. The CD he let us listen to, "Hopes and Fears" is insanely "crucial" as Alan says. I can't even begin to explain the intensity of the mixture of music and lyrics. Ben Folds is incredibly talented when it comes to his piano playing and his comical but true matter-of-fact lyrics, and Anastacia just has an insanely powerful voice, but these guys in Keane... they know how to put it all together. The only way I can describe the music is with the title of this entry: tingle.

When I hear the songs (especially Steve's song, "Bedshaped") that is what happens. Tingling. Being a musician and someone who is highly familiar with the charming capabilities of music, I know that tingling to be movement. When you tingle when you hear a song, that is you being stirred by the music: moved. The only reason I am allowing the term "tingle" to be used when the word "moved" is probably more fitting and meaningful is because at the sound of the song, the anonymity known as my company on the trip said, "Everytime I hear that song, I tingle." It wasn't an incredibly astounding statement. I mean, I agree completely. It's just the fact that the song did the same thing to me... it made me "tingle." And it just made me think... we were on the same page...

Isn't music just incredible like that? Just when you think that someone may have no clue where you are coming from, they share the same emotional attachment to a song as you. In this particular case, just when you think that someone can't really have an emotional attachment to anything.

Well, now that I am back from the beach and Keane's lyrics have haunted me all day, I have also acquired the CD. I told myself regardless of the things I should really be spending my money on, I was going to get this CD if it was the last thing I did. Ironically, as I went to the CD store after school, I got a phone call from the anonymity known as my company on the trip: "Guess where I am? I am buying that CD. I'm at a music store downtown, and I think I'm getting the last one."

Ha.

I was at a music store... that ALSO had only ONE copy left. Right now, it is playing in the background.

Remember, what I said? Nothing trite about this entry. While it may just seem like once again, the lyrics of a song have hit me right to the core, the lyrics in this song stretch through my core, the anonymity's core, and Steve's core. This music truly defines the great gift of music, and all the other amazing things music entails.

This music makes you tingle.

death of the shoes

The shoes are gone.

You know what I hate? Wasting large portions of my life on one particular person... or in this case, footwear.

And I also hate looking back and thinking, "Damn. I went all googly-eyed over some damn K-Swiss."

The moral here: BUY your own damn shoes. Stay away from "free" K-Swiss shoes. And, be patient... shoes will go on sale... shoes will go out of style... eventually, the most perfect shoes will go on clearance and you will have just enough money to get them.

Honestly, though... I can't believe that now, I can't get the last 2 months of my life back. All over some damn K-Swiss...

"shoes": the finale

Hellifireallyknow if this is the finale. I just know that I am tired of these DAMN shoes. I know it's a friggin' roller coaster... I like the shoes... I hate the shoes... the shoes get on my nerves... I love the shoes... the shoes give me bunions...

Right now, I almost* wish the shoes were never in my life. I wish I didn't like the shoes. I wish that I could be content with some $1.99 BoBos... or barefoot. I hate the shoes. In fact, I hate ALL shoes. I hate the fact that people NEED shoes in order to live. Or do we really need shoes in order to live?

No. We don't.

And you know what? I prayed to God that He would take away my desire for my particular pair of shoes... and ALL shoes, frankly. I'm tired of wanting shoes just cause everyone else has some.

But like I said, I doubt this is TRULY the finale about the shoes. Tomorrow starts the beginning of a 3 day weekend... so I know the shoes will be somewhere around. They always show up when I am going out or something...

...but you know what... this IS the shoe finale. Because I am tired of talking about the shoes as "shoes."

Fuck it. I'm tired of playing games. I'm "sick and tired of always being sick and tired."

*some sickening, twisted, annoying, mind-controlling... 3rd party intervention type thing is not letting me have much of any say in what I should LOGICALLY think and do. It is something that I am finding to be highly frustrating and burdensome, and as poetically beautiful as it could be, I wish it would leave me the hell alone and come back when it is ready to work itself all the way through. I wrote about this sickening, twisted, annoying, mind-controlling 3rd party intervention type thing in the secret blog... so here's to more vagueness...

tomorrow's the day...

...that I dislike a lot.

I just figured I would document the eve of the day with what's going on in my head...

Okay, so I lied. There is too much going on to focus.

I will say this though... Alan did this tarot card reading thing with me on Friday night... and you should know that I am mos' def a Christian. However, those things always amaze me, because something about them is real... in some way or another.

The cards said a lot of stuff... among all the stuff, one thing it said was watch the structure of my house... So, apparently The Villa is in danger of falling down.

It also said that something big was about to happen in my life... and that someone isn't as they seem... hrmph. This is kinda what is plaguing me. As for the big thing happening, I am hoping it has something to do with my place of employment for next school year. As for the sketchy person... it could be one of a few people right now... this plagues me a lot, because I think I tend to trust people a little too much sometimes...

It's been a long time coming, but I think it's time I started listening to myself... like I encouraged Steven to do last night. How hypocritical of me...

...but seriously, I should start listening to myself a little better... I am my date for tomorrow...

more about the "shoes"

A quick update on the shoes...

Both Friday and Saturday night, I had an encounter with those shoes again... Both nights, I looked at them with adoration. I didn't put them on. I guess because I was getting used to the fact that they were there but pretty much useless since in my heart I knew it wasn't right to parade around in something that wasn't mine.

Oh, by the way, all last week, the shoe salesman harassed me as I walked by... smiling and waving like, "Hey, person with the shoes! How are they working out for you?! Do you like them? I bet that's awesome to have some new shoes. You wanna come see other shoes we carry like those?" That shoe guy, I tell you what... he's so confusing.

Well, today, I told myself, "So the shoes aren't yours. You HAVE to go to that raggedy shoe man and be like, 'Take the shoes back or take my money. I'm not going to keep these things if they aren't rightfully mine.'"

So, I did just that. Well... kinda. I went up to the shoe man and was like, "These shoes did not come from you, so you DON'T want money for them? Correct?" He was like, "Well... The shoes are from here... but they were free... a buy one get one free type thing. Someone bought the first pair and didn't want this second pair, so I figured you would like them. I saw you come around every few days looking at them, so I decided you should have them. The really are no charge. Is that okay?" I figured it was okay.

So I went home and took the shoes out and looked at them once again... I thought to myself, "So I got some free shoes... But that is really kinda weird that the shoe guy just gave me someone else's shoes. LOL. It works though. They are mine, but they were actually someone else's... the shoes were a regift." ( I had to put my own label on the shoes... not mine, not someone else's, not the shoe guy's... but a regift)

So, will we be seeing more of the shoes? I dunno. I think it's too early to tell... I don't want to get them dirty or anything...

"shoes"

So very sorry to have bored you with my last few entries... I think Freddie said it best when he labled it "shitacular." I love that word. And honestly, he called it exactly what it was... shitacular.

My predicament hasn't gotten worlds better or anything, I'm just tired of wallowing in it. It's confusing, and frustrating... and as Steven would say, "hella" crazy. Frankly, I'm tired of hella craziness.

So this entry is meant, if anything, to make fun of the situation...

Let's say that I saw something in the store that I wanted... a pair of really hot shoes. I saw them back in like early December... maybe even November. But, stupid me, I was too much of a pansy to spend a little extra money to buy them. So I walked past the shoe store once a week, oogling the shoes, wishing there was some way to let someone know that I liked them... 'cause maybe I could get them for Christmas.

Well, Christmas came and went... no shoes. However, on New Years, the shoes magically appeared on my front doorstep. I mean, it was so bizarre, that for a while, I didn't know what to do. I let them just sit there on my doorstep, as I came and left.

Eventually, I picked them up and brought them inside. But I told myself, I shouldn't wear them unless I find out who gave them to me and/or I pay for them, so I just put them in my closet.

Well, about a week after New Years, I sat there staring at them. I couldn't help it. I put a shoe on... not both, just one. It felt good, but not right. So, I took it off and sat the shoes out in front of my bed... in plain sight. I didn't wear them.... I just looked at them.

Well, a week later, I went to try the shoes again... but even though I was ready for them, I couldn't find them. It's like they vanished. I was pissed... until I found them the next day...

...when I put them on. I put them on all the way. SO COMFORTABLE. I couldn't stand it almost. At that point, I was sold on the shoes. I was willing to pay for them without truly knowing their origin. So I went to go and pay for them... but then, when I went to the shoe store, I found out that the shoe salesman didn't want my money. He was like, "Yes, we sell those shoes, but you don't need to pay for them. In fact, I don't even know if they were bought from this store."

At this... I was so distressed... I am not the type of person to wear shoes that don't RIGHTFULLY belong to me. And also, the nerve of that shoe salesman! Who wouldn't take money, even when they didn't deserve it... then again, I wasn't willing to take the shoes even though I didn't deserve them.

I sulked for about 2 weeks. I would look at the shoes every once in a while, but I would hiss at them, spit at them, roll my eyes when I saw them... you know, stupid stuff that you really wouldn't do to inanimate objects. LOL.

Well, last weekend, I decided to take the shoes out again. I sat there staring at them for a while and thought to myself, forget it... they are free shoes... you don't have to wear them... just realize you have some shoes... and you don't really know where they came from. So, I was all cool with the shoes...

And I was all happy... getting ready to go out... all giddy, listening to some pre-party music... and even partaking in some pre-party beverages... well... I accidentally put the shoes on--both of them. And I wore them ALL NIGHT.

When I got home and realized what I did, I was actually okay with it. I kinda felt okay with it. The shoes were comfy... and I didn't mess them up or anything. No one accused me of stealing or being ungrateful or anything... so, for a while, I was just like, "Yay. Shoes." Now, I'm kinda wanting to wear the shoes... but I'm beginning to want to pay for them again. And every so often, when I pass by the shoe store, the salesman smiles and waves like he knows I'm that weird guy who wanted to pay for the shoes... maybe he realizes he was a jerk for not taking the money in the first place???

I dunno.

Now I stand here with the shoes... just sitting around. And after typing all this, part of me thinks that I should just get rid of the shoes. I won't really be losing anything, 'cause it's not like I did anything to get the shoes. The only thing is... I didn't mention that I don't have any other shoes...

So yeah... shoes. Go figure. Oh, and by the way, did I mention that Nick doesn't like the shoes? LOL...

you'll never be alone

Eff that... this blog is getting closer and closer to being THE secret blog each time I write in it. I really don't care. This stuff is deep... and real. So yes, eff that...

Anyway, tonight I went to Clemson and had dinner with Nichole. Before, I had a little caucus with Nick, and after, I had this big "come to Jesus" discussion with Laura. It's so funny how much my friends can make me think. I am truly blessed to have friends that inspire such introspection.

Laura's discussion with me was honestly just what I needed. A sincere talk with an old friend, who wouldn't judge me whatsoever. Ironically, she is only an "old" friend because I haven't seen her since August. But, I truly love her, and I appreciate her for the great friend she has become.

And you know, honestly, we discussed so much that it would be quite difficult to write about any one or even few things she said that really stood out to me. It was just perfect... although, the ride back to Greenville was full of thoughts racing through my head. I kept asking myself questions, kicking myself for things I have done, and trying to coerce myself into doing and not doing certain things.

On the way back, however, a song came into my mind... one that I have always loved and one whose lyrics have made me cry and smile. Right now, they make me uneasy, honestly. I am having a little difficulty believing the words and even understanding them... but as always, the music is what seems to soothe when even the words can't...

Anytime you feel like
You just can't go on
Hold onto my love
And you'll never be alone...

Hold on
We can make it through the fire
And my love
I'm forever by your side
And you know
If you should ever call my name
I'll be right there
You'll never be alone

Hmm... Is that so?

this should prolly go in the secret blog...

...but I don't care. The world should know.

I kind of don't like the way things are going right now. No, I'm not suicidal. Even if I was, I'm too much of a pansy to try to do something... I might end up messing up and ending up a vegetable or with only one limb or something.

Anyway, I feel like theres a lot of stuff going on in my mind and in my heart right now... It's weird stuff that is hard to put my finger on really... all I know is that I am tired of a lot of people and a lot of things... about me and just life in general.

In other words, I am trying to find that happy place again... but this time, I think I am the only person who can find it. It can't be brought to me from an outside source... which I think I look to so much. So yeah... that's really about it.

And also, someone just told me to "be blessed." Those simple words uplifted me so much. I seriously just sat here for a minute and glowed.

I hope I will be.

faith

Today in church, my dad said something extremely simple, but probably more profound than anything I have ever heard him preach about. He was commenting on faith, and how faith is used even when you are making a cake.

When you make a cake, you put all these ingredients together, and you just have enough confidence in the chemistry of all those things working together that once you pull it out of the oven, it's not just going to be a bunch of flour, milk, sugar, and eggs mixed together, but it will actually be a cake.

Even still, there are some people (accomplished cooks and fabulous culinary artists) who can simply throw stuff together without even measuring it. Ironically, I tend to be one of those people. Now, I'm not saying that I am an incredible cook or anything, but I never measure anything. I always "eyeball" it. I figure, if I attempt my best, and use some common sense, this thing is gonna work out. I don't even have a measuring cup in my kitchen now. I also don't like following recipes. I just throw whatever in that I think is going to make the food taste good and turn out right. Truthfully, I've never had anything turn out a disaster either.

So, does that mean that I have exceptional faith? I dunno. As I was listening to my dad, I thought for a moment that it did mean that I do have really awesome faith. As I think about it now, there are a lot of things that have happened that I just kind of expected to happen. I didn't worry about them a lot. Strangely enough, they were big things... like once in a lifetime things. Not everyday things that could pretty much be considered small stuff.

When it comes to small stuff, I tend to fret a lot. I dunno why. Serisouly, now that I am thinking about it, it is really backwards how I operate like that. The big deals in life, I just go on thinking of as, "it's going to/not going to happen." The little things... I sweat them... a lot.

A wise man once said, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Another smart individual said, "Everything's small stuff." I dunno why I can't subscribe to that school of thought. The small stuff is the stuff that spazzes me out. I need to chill out on that stuff... you know, let things be... let them happen... "lose control."

Sadly, I have tired from losing control in '06 already. It was really only good for about 2 weeks. Last Monday evening, I kinda regained control in so many ways. I guess it was when I left the happy place I was talking about just 20 minutes before it all came to a screeching halt. I'm just about over all of it, I guess... but this is just another situation where my faith is weak. I ALWAYS have a bunch of issues with this crap... It's like I still have faith, but it's like... I dunno. I can't explain it. The only thing that ever seems to put into words how I really feel about my situation is a line from "Missing the War" by Ben Folds Five:

...still thinks he might
he knows he won't...

It always gives me goosebumps when I hear those lyrics or even think about those words... How the hell can they be the 8 most perfect words that describe me and my life... and they come from a completely irrelevant song, and a person who I am sure has no clue what is going on in my life or mind...

Anyway... faith. Marinate on that for a little while. And this is about as deep as I will get in here... Usually, this type of stuff goes in the secret blog. Consider yourself lucky...

forget it

Forget everything I said about a happy place.

Ironically, that happy place ceased to exist about 20 minutes after I wrote that blog entry.

It's just that it has taken me about this long to forget it for myself.

rumor has it

Okay, so I saw a good movie tonight. It was Rumor Has It. It was a twisted love story, but a good one regardless. I think the biggest thing I got from it is that people do things and they make mistakes, and they have relationships that are sometimes meaningless, but when it comes down to it, when one enters into a meaningful relationship, they can tell. It was a pretty good message.

I don't have an incredible lot to report, unfortunately. I know that I have been really slack in here, and I feel pretty bad about that. But, ironically, a lot of things are going on in my life that require some provate contemplation, therefore, the secret blog is blowin' up right now (not really, but it is being used more than this one).

But in all honesty, for once, I don't feel like writing about the big thing that is going on in my life. I dunno why... like there's something different about it or something??? I really don't know. I mean, I used to talk about it all the time, but for some reason, I feel as if I write about it, it will just become trite jibber jabber like most of the stuff I publish is.

I dunno. Maybe this is just a sign that I am really growing up. In a way, I feel like pouring out all my thoughts in here is a little juvenile. I really don't know.

Just so I won't leave you people who read this in too much suspense, just know that I am in a happy place. That's really all I can say. :)

2006

The motto for the year is lose control in '06.

Let's discuss for just a moment.

I have taken this motto from Missy Elliott's song of the same name, which has become a party anthem for my friends and I as of late. There aren't many great dance songs right now, but Los Control is definitely a "get krunk" type song. I mean, it is the perfect club song... just do what it says: "Everybody here, get it out of control. Get your backs off the wall 'cause Misdemeanor says so..."

In "losing control" in a life aspect, one might think that it's a bad thing. Like, if you lose control of your car, you crash. If you lose control of your finances, you go in the hole. If you lose control at work, you lose your job. I'm not talking about stuff like that. Because honestly, when I look at those things in my life, I am in complete control (except the fact that my utility bill is almost $300 for the past month... hello! Losing control!!!). But sometimes, when I think of my social life and my LACK of a love life, I am a little too uptight. Not that I am a party pooper or that I am no fun. I just think sometimes, my pretentiousness and insecurities get in the way... I know, right? BIG oxymoron.

How can I be pretentious and insecure at the same time? Well, first off, I am insecure... about a lot of things that I'm not even going to delve into. So, in being insecure about those things, I tend to rest on the things that I DO have going for me. So, while at times I'm like, "Geez, I suck because of yadda yadda yadda," I am also like, "Ugh, I am so above this." It's weird, I know.

So this year, in 2006, my goal is first of all, get rid of my insecurities... By doing that, hoefully, the pretentiousness will be more healthy and deserved (because, lets face it... I enjoy being amongst the upper eschelon of society). The only way to do so, is to lose control. Not dwell so much on why I feel that I'm not so and so because of such and such. Does that make sense?

So basically, I'm going to try to be more carefree. That's what losing control is all about: not harping on things that you really can't change or things that you can change that you just don't have the motivation or drive to change. If you DO want something to change bad enough, then instead of LOSING control, you have to TAKE control.

So there... that is my philosophical spill for the year... and as for 2006 so far, I've "lost control" pretty well. :)

the 2nd anniversary

Well, December 17th marked the 2nd anniversary of king congruence. It has been a long LONG road, and I am proud to say that 2 years later, I am still trucking along. I am out of college, and I have learned a vast deal about myself and about people in general. This blog has been an avenue of sharing my feelings that I really don't think I could have gone through college without. So, here's to you, king congruence: to the past 2 years and for years and years to come.

And even though it isn't the subtitle anymore, let me just remind you...

"Were I like thee, I'd throw away myself."
-from William Shakespeare's Timon of Athens, Act III

grown people fun

So, last night, I went out with some teachers from ENSA again. It wasn't just Melissa and Tiffany this time, but Marleen too! It was her birthday, and she invited some of the "cool" teachers to come out and celebrate with her.

We were talking last Tuesday doing duty in the gym and she was talking about how she wanted to go out. Ironically, last weekend, I passed by the new Chief's Wings and Firewater. I had always heard about it on B93.7 and how they have "Working Women's Wednesdays." I always thought it would be kinda lame to go there, but it was in a different building, and I was like, what the hell... "What about Chiefs?" Marleen was all up for that.

Well, all day yesterday, I was looking forward to it... and kinda getting nervous about it. I had never gone to a bar/club with people older than me. I didn't want to be out of place, but I also didn't want it to be lame.

Well, I was THOROUGHLY surpised to drive up to Chiefs and see TONS among TONS of people... fabulous people... good looking people (however significantly older than me people). The music was really good... except for their weird little country music montage where LaBarbara and Bocephus did the Trailer Park Tussle in the floor. Boo for that. But w00t for "Lose Control" by Missy and Ciara! GAWD I love that song!

We had an awesome time. And the best part about it, is that now I consider Melissa and Marleen two really good friends now. I mean, Melissa has always been really helpful this year. She is the head of the 4th grade and we've gone out before, but last night was just different. And I never really knew Marleen, but she is definitely good people. All 3 of us have planned on going out next Saturday before the ENSA Christmas party... so big w00t for that!

And after spending time with the teacher folk, it was over to Aaron, Brandon, and Jared's: my 3 best friends in Greenville. I felt kinda bad leaving Marleen's party, but I knew that it wouldn't be a productive weekend without a Saturday night with my boys. I really have nothing to explain about over there... it's always krunk.

...and speaking of KRUNK, THE SEQUAL TO "THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE" COMES OUT ON TUESDAY!!! "KRONK'S NEW GROOVE!" Do I need to explain how excited I am about this? THIS WEEK IS SO AWESOME!

Monday: $500 mall gift card from Eastwood Homes
Tuesday: Llama Movie II
Wednesday: nothing, but halfway done
Thursday: DT Clemson with Melissa ?
Friday: NO MORE SCHOOL UNTIL 2006!

And then, on Sunday, STEVEN WILL BE BACK IN GREENVILLE FOR GOOD!

Excitement. And now, it is 9:30, and I have been done with my lesson plans for like an hour now... so I can stay up and chill, or go to bed... This might just be the best week of my life...

the ben speaks truth

Never in my life has a song been written FOR me... never in my life has a song matched my situation or feelings so perfectly. It's almost scary. It's as if The Ben is walking around, following me, writing lyrics about my life.

Ben... how you do what you do...

all is quiet.
his tired eyes
see figures jotted down
and clothes all strewn around
the bedroom floor.

now nothing's adding up
and nothing's making sense.
she's sleeping like a baby.
she doesn't know
he wasn't meant for this.

i'm missing the war.
i'm missing the war all night.
missing the war.
i'm missing the war.

he drove home again
pissed and beaten.
it's really no big deal.
it happens all the time.
it's no big deal.

i'm missing the war.
i'm missing the war all night.
missing the war.
i'm missing the war.

'til beads of sunlight hit me in the morning.

so much time,
so little to say.

time may fly
and dreams may die.
the shaking voice
that tells him go
still thinks he might
he knows he won't.

i'm missing the war.
i'm missing the war all night.
missing the war.
i'm missing the war...

FAILURE

I have been so hideously awful at this blog thing lately. For that, I am a thousand times sorry. I beg of you... PLEASE forgive me.

I really feel atrocious, seeing how I talk so much junk about those individuals who possess blogs and do not frequently write in them. As Mandy used to say in high school, "Oh, how the mighty hath fallen."

But I'm getting back up again, bitches...

Listen to this...

I really don't want to jinx myself or think TOO highly of myself or my pupils, but school has been quite enjoyable as of late. Last week was good... even if it was good by default with its 2 days. But this week has FLOWN by, when usually weeks after holidays are crap. I have even internalized this new feeling of appreciation for my students, school, and faculty by admitting that I would go back to ENSA next year. In case anyone has forgotten, I was dead set on getting out of there with the quickness about a month ago. After Thanksgiving break, I was actually looking forward to seeing some of them... and this week, more than ever, I have been able to cut up with them and throw in random little side jokes every once in a while.

Like today, little Isaiah... the 3'2" kid that yelled at me back a couple months ago... he came up to me just makin' this face... he likes to do it, and I don't know why. It's this little glare/smile thing... like he's pissed off and he's going to bite my ankles or something. In reality, he truly is playing, 'cause he only does that when he's in an exceptionally good mood and I haven't had to call him down at all. Well, he seriously is the shortest thing in the class... next to the trash can. All the kids know it too... So, he walked up to the front of the class and got right up to me (my knee to be exact... lol) and did his little glare thing. I looked down at him in utter confusion and said, "Sit down, little man." The class was ROLLING. It was too funny.

I also "D-Boed" one of Amy's kids in the lunch room today, 'cause he was crackin' on Deshyea. He said something about her "forty-forties" (that's glasses, for those of you uncultured individuals). So I looked at him and said, "Do you have a problem with people with glasses, 'cause if you do, I can help you with it. Before you talk about anybody, you better check yourself." Once again, another point for Mistah Parks.

This was right after Deshyea said that this girl named Ebony looked at her funny... lol. I was just like, "You remember what I told you yesterday? Some people just have eye problems. You just gotta pray for 'em." She grinned. Funny how she is always goin' at it with someone...

Anyway, yeah, school is good for now. If we can make it through the next 2 weeks before the holidays, we'll be good.

As for other things, Kate moves out in a week. I'm going to miss her, but I am going to love a dog free home. I am really going to have to try hard to utilize all the space in this townhouse when she is gone too... 'cause I feel like all I do is sit up in my room. It's funny how this room has become a haven in just 3 short months. I love it up here... maybe things will change once I get my Intel laptop at the beginning of the next semester... w00t for "The Academy," which is what I plan on calling East North Street now... lol. One look at a handful of students and you would really wonder why they call it an "academy," so I am going to take the humor in its name and run with it... kinda how Jenee' has taken "THE ENCLAVE AT THORNBLADE" and run with it... lol. Jenee', honey... "The Enclave at Country Walk" just doesn't sound the same... I am now going to attempt more suitable pretentious names for the community you live in:

Sycamore Ridge at Country Walk
The Preserve at Country Walk
The Sycamores of Country Walk
Sycamore Ridge: The Upper Eschelon of Country Walk <----- THAT'S IT!

Gurl, that is even more pretentious than The Enclave at Thornblade. Y'all could take The Summit in Seneca by storm! w00t! All this talk about pretentious names of residences is a trip... ironically, I have recently been making fun of the street our school social worker lives on: North Ladyslipper Drive. LOL. It's a trip.

As for me. My street is named after a type of cloud: Stratus. It works. LOL.

Well, I'm done for now... and hopefully "for now" isn't the same as "for the next few weeks."

not cute

What does society think they are doing? Having things shut down for half a week for Thanksgiving, and then we are supposed to be projected back into that mess for another 3 weeks and we are supposed to be okay with that?

If it was up to me, we would be out the whole Thanksgiving week... and that would be it for the year. Now before you spaz, listen, 'cause this is really an idea that could work. And instead of coming back for 3 highly unproductive weeks before Christmas, we could just come back at the beginning of the year... and go for 12 more weeks... that would put us at like the beginning of April. Then, we'd have all of April off. We'd come back at the beginning of May and go from May to July and then have all of August off... so you get that?

1st Trimester - Sept. - Nov.
DECEMBER (WINTER) BREAK
2nd Trimester - Jan. - Mar.
APRIL (SPRING) BREAK
3rd Trimester - May - July
AUGUST (SUMMER) BREAK

GAWD! I should be in charge of the school district. I have just solved the problem of year-round school. It's still 9 months. We still basically get 3 months off total, with the extra week for Thanksgiving. I'm going to take the nation's department of education by storm...

Anyway, I had a GREAT Thanksgiving break. Too much fun with my long lost buddy from Brushy Creek, Northwood, and Eastside, Steven. Great times. Unfortunately, yesterday, I married off yet another of my friends (btw, Mandy was 2 weeks ago). Allyson Davies is now Allyson Davies-Powell... which is so weird, 'cause the name "Allyson Davies" is almost like a name that will always be amongst the halls of Eastside High School... along with the likes of Jackie Baker, Drew Leventis, Ern Mills, Beth Reese, Lauren DeWeil, Oliver Lollis, Jeff Ashworth, Holly Nolan, Hamilton Parks... lol. Seriously though... it made me think of the good times at good ol' EHS.

It also shocked me into the realization that no one is getting any younger... it's marryin' time. It's so weird... and so depressing to a degree...

hrmph...

ANTYWAYS (that so wasn't a typo, just to let you know)... I don't bitch and moan in here... I do that in the other blog... in here I just develop ways to take over the system... hence my trimester plan. Y'all look out for that in the forthcoming years. Some of your kids will be on that track... just wait and see, bitches...

harry made me cry

Or maybe it was Cedric Diggory... in fact, it was really Lord Voldemort.

Hell... I cried, okay?

I cried last night when I went to go see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Talk about one of the best spontaneous decisions I ever decided to make! Nichole invited me, and even though I was tired, I was all up for it... and I am so glad that I went because the movie was nothing less than incredible. Also, who else was there but Nick, Missy, Jess G., and Quad. I also saw Labiby and Katie Kavanaugh. Good times at the Hollywood 20... where the manager was all huffin' and puffin' about rowdy kids in the theater. Boo on her! It ws friggin' Harry Potter! We have to wait a year between each movie... so really last night, those 2 hours and however many minutes were the only period of true Harry fulfillment we will get until sometime next year, or possibly even the one after that.

Needless to say, I had a great time. Unfortunately, something tells me that that was the most fun I will have all weekend... Clemson is playing AT USC (go Tigers), and everyone will be down there. Also, I have to start saving my money for Christmas, living by myself when Kate moves out (she and Deni bought a house next door), and the bowl game.

Whatever though... it's Friday... and I have no intentions of sitting here in my classroom and blogging myself into a depressed state over my lack of no exciting plans for this weekend. All that matters is I only have to work on Monday and Tuesday of next week!

So, time to do lesson plans for those 2 days now, so I won't have to do ANYTHING this weekend... although, I'd like to do a little something... please... thanks...

sad

sad adj. describing an individual with a slow mind syn. retarded, slow

origin: my SAD fourth graders

If they knew that I kept a blog and have not updated it in more than a week, they would probably claim that I am sad. Then again, "they give no fuck" so it doesn't really matter.

Yeah, I got this quote from The Ben last night. For the second time in my life I saw him in concert. I was even more wowed than the first time due to the fact that he played the song of the aforementioned quote, and he played one of my favorites, "The Ascent of Stan." He also played "The Luckiest" and others. There aren't words to describe that man...

Anyway, unfortunately, I was surrounded by Furman Chrissies abound! Whoever was the creative genius behind the ald adage "Clemson Girls, Best in the World" was not lying, 'cause I would rather be around all the Chrissy's in Clemson than one of those triflin' Furman Chrissy hobitches (as for the "best in the world" statement, please note the sarcasm when I mentioned the creative genius... 'cause all the girls at every dag gum South Carolina school claims to be the best in the world... hello! That's why the song f-ing says "CAROLINA girls, best in the world." Skeezas...).

Anyway, it's only 8:35 and I want to go home so badly. I have decided that I really really dislike it here. It's not the faculty... no, no. Even 5th grade hobitch has been OF HELP lately! Plus, the Tigers made FSU their bitch last weekend, so I have one up on her anyway. The staff I love... really, I have gotten over all my petty issues with anyone who has casted my wrong looks, or talked about my momma, or said that I smoked trees with my black lips... oh, wait a minute... haha, those are my kids that say that mess to each other! OH! Grrrr...

They make me sick. THEY make me want to leave this place.

**visit from the principal**

::sigh:: I really like him a lot. I mean, geez... I've known the man since I was 8. He is a good man, and God bless him for being in charge of this entire crazy house. My mom brought to my attention that I only have to watch out for 21 of them... but he has to deal with over 600 of them. It's a good thing he shaves his head bald, or else he would have some serious hair loss. This place makes you lose things... hair, weight (I am down 2 pants sizes since the beginning of the year), sanity, cell phones... oh wait, no that was that little klepto jezebel in Melissa's class down the hall... grrr.

See... insanity.

Like The Ben said: "They give no fuck."

big blocks eve

Tomorrow marks the last Big Blocks class of the year 2005. Unfortunately, in January, it all starts again.

Coincidentally, I ended up seeing big bitch #2 three times in all last week: EVERY OTHER DAY. Tuesday at Big Blocks, Thursday at a PAS-T meeting, and Saturday at the Clemson game. Boo. Thankfully, I did not see her today. However, I will see her tomorrow... not for an incredibly long time though... as I have a meeting at the Youth Learning Institute tomorrow evening. w00t.

Anyway, I am sorry that I don't have much more to report, or anything thoroughly exciting. This weekend drained me, as well as a few other things that drain me constantly. But, for all of you who care ('cause honestly, it seems like a lot of you), my kids are alright for now... I mean, they aren't perfect... and they definitely aren't Code students (I love Code so much), but I am thankful for their behavior today. Unfortunately, one of the good ones withdrew to go to another school in the district today. Why did it have to be a good one? GAWD.

Now I'm down to 20... which means that the percentage of disobedience has gone up. Joy.

And in other news, I have obtained an unhealthy fetish with ABBA. I'm not kidding. Thanks for that, Freddie.

...no seriously, Freddie--thank you. You rock my Ray Bans off.