gotta document this

Because of a Ham Rule and because of lessons I have learned, I can't openly discuss the emotions swirling around in my head and heart right now. But, I just have to document today... this date... this timebecause of recent events.

I believe it was sometime back in January of this year when I spoke of a happy place. Well, that happy place was a decoy. First of all, I wasn't really there for very long, and second of all, the artificial feeling of excitement that I felt at that time was nothing... I can guarantee that. Ironically, it seems that I learned a lot about myself through that dilemma, and a lot of what I learned was that I had no clue as to what was REALLY going on.

That leads me to why I can't just up and say exactly what I'm feeling. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or prophesize about anything forthcoming, but I will say that the feelings I am feeling are AMAZING... and REAL... and INTENSE. If I were to verbalize or publish exactly how I think I am feeling, then as sure as this blog is blue, it would dissolve and dissipate right in front of my eyes... that's just the way it works.

So in essence, I really don't know for sure what I am thinking. When I try to figure that out, I get in trouble. The aforementioned adjectives should be sufficient enough to describe the other adjectives that truly describe my present thoughts and emotions.

Now that I have thoroughly confused myself and my readers, I will retire and let the mysterious jumble of adjectives and feelings simmer in my mind. Thanks.

(Don't try to understand. Just smile and nod.)