ben folds and being at home

Well, I am officially out of Clemson. It feels really weird.

Camp is over. I'm out of 101 A. I'm out of Manning Hall. I don't have a residence in Clemson any longer. It really is an insanely weird feeling. I am seriously HOME, you know? I haven't really called my house here in Greer home since high school, but for the next month it is. Thankfully, it is only home for this month, because just for being home these past few hours, I can tell this is going to get very old very fast.

Enough of that... 'cause I don't want to get all emotional about missing Clemson right yet either.

But, BEN FOLDS WAS SO INCREDIBLY AMAZING! I mean seriously. He played so many awesome songs and rocked out just like I expected. He played several songs I didn't know, but of the ones that I did know were "Gone," "Still Fighting It," "Not the Same" (SO AWESOME!), "Brick," "Philosophy," "Army" (and it was f-ing GREAT!), "Rocking the Suburbs," and "One Angry Dwarf and 2000 Solemn Faces." He is so incredibly talented it is unreal. In one song, he was singing, playing the piano, AND playing a maraca all at the same time. UGH! He is so great. Plus, his lyrics are so intense. Yeah, some of them are hella controversial and insanely vulgar, but they are so real... all about life.

This was a great weekend... a great end of college. Moving out of the apartment and the dorm (and I got EVERYTHING out of my dorm in ONE trip... I could ONLY see out of the driver's side window and the driver's side dash... Kyle was SO full)... road tripping to ATL with Karen and Patrick... and now at home...

...home.

sprinklers

I just got back from playing in the sprinklers on the intramural fields. Hoke, Laura, and I were driving to the motorpool to pick up vans (to drive the kids around in because it is way too hot to be walking around outside), when I noticed the sprinklers on. The first thing that came to my mind was running out there in all my clothes in order to cool off. So I suggested it. Laura had this look on her face like, "Hmm, that sure is crazy, but it might be fun." Hoke seemed completely against the whole thing. I really wanted to do it, but I knew that I wasn't going to do it without at least one of them.

So, turns out that we all went out there. Three of us... big rusty college kids, playing in automatic sprinklers in all of our clothes.

It made me think... is it okay for me to still be doing stuff like that? I mean, I am about to be a grown up. I am buying a house. I have a real job. Is it okay for me to still be that crazy and spontaneous? I feel like with growing up, you have to lose that childish side of yourself. I mean, in all seriousness, I don't think that I'm much of an adult... except in years. I still watch Nickelodeon, I don't make my bed everyday, I would much rather be out in the street than sititng at home, the background on my computer is from the forthcoming Harry Potter movie. How many 4th grade teachers are out there that are like me?

I feel like because of my job and new financial responsibilities, a certain amount of sophistication is required. I mean, that's how I FEEL. Does that mean that I am going to change a lot about me? Heck no. As far as I'm concerned, I can be me and be an exciting and effective teacher. Seriously, my spontinaity and active lifestyle should have no bearing on my career. I feel like Kalani is someone who can definitely juggle the awesome responsibility of being a self sufficient educator and an incredibly fun and outgoing young adult. I have always respected that about her and secretly hoped that I could come to that level of sophistication myself. It seems as if it makes her even more sophisticated in a way...

At any rate, playing in the sprinklers was fun... and even if I am not going to dramatically change and become a boring old fart once camp is over, it served as a good "final" act of spontinaity.

disturbed

I was thinking today, that I haven't been writing very frequently. I can't have that. It makes me feel like one of those people who only get online to put up away messages about how perfect or terrible their life is. I'm not gonna be like that, although it prolly seems like that because before the new house thing I was bitching in here quite frequently.

I am disturbed though. I just got done reading Harry Potter 6 and needless to say, I am "crestfallen" like Nick says. I'm not going to go into it though, because I was actually one of the people here at camp who was able to finish the book without getting ANYTHING ruined. It was a difficult task... this is nerd camp and these kids get off on reading 600 page books in a day and broadcasting what happens. What makes them think that that makes them cool?

Anyway, I'm SO ready to be done with camp. This is the last week (thank God), and I am up for doing whatever I please and NOT doing whatever I don't please. I mean, I'm still gonna do enough to get the job done, but I am not going out of my way for anything... I'm out of this joint on Saturday and into my new job on AUGUST 2!!! We have a new employee orientation next Tuesday! I can't believe it.

I am hoping and praying that there will be a lot of COOL new teachers my age right out of college working at ENSA with me. I LOVED Code and I ADORED Mrs. Stephens, but it made me feel so good to have Christy and Jennifer there who were about my age that I could go to for extra support. Besides having people to relate to, hopefully I will make some friends to hang out with when we aren't at school. I talked to Momma Davis the other day and she has really got me excited about teaching and the extracurricular activities of teachers... lol.

Other than that, I am still missing my archies tremendously. I would give anything right now to have Ross knock on my door and say, "Hamilton's a dick." LOL. Oh Lord...

I think I might watch Harry Potter 1... and remember the good ol' days when all Harry had to worry about was Voldemort living in the back of that stuttering fool's head...

the best archies ever

Well, camp might as well be over. It isn't, but it really might as well be. Yesterday, the majority of my campers went home. They had been here for 2 weeks. Ironically, they were archies.

It is pretty common knowledge that I despise architect students to no end. All last summer and the first group this summer, the archies characterized themselves as pompous, arrogant, super stylish, better than everyone gods and goddesses of the teehage world. That's why I hated them so much. Not only did they think they were better than the other kids, but they thought they were better than all the counselors except the one that walked them to class.

Well, the past 2 weeks, I had 8 archie boys on my hall and they were my favorite campers from both this summer and last. The 2 boys Nick had and the girls were good too, but I really really enjoyed my guys.

There was Nate, the Clemson native baller with the incredibly loud music; David from Seneca, the violin and oboe playing Govie with the distinctive voice and popped collars (yes, 2 of them at a time); Kyle the sophisticated Yankee with high expectations of his wife; Alex the quiet and compassionate intellectual that slept like it was his job; Ross the Chucktown skater thug who could dance, freestyle, and improve like it was nobody's business; Tanner from Enoree whose expertise was pissing people off and proving to people that he WASN'T a redneck; Tommy the beast from Irmo who was always useful in causing physical harm to David or Tanner; and Joe Cool from Indianapolis who over the past 2 weeks realized that his Josh Hartnett looks could be of good use.

These guys were awesome. I had so much fun cutting up with them, recording ridiculous dialogue with them on Nate's MP3 player, and watching them terrorize David and Tanner (all in good fun of course).

I still have Brian and Tony left, who have been here the past 2 weeks as well. They are very cool also. But, the 5 others that came last Sunday are just mediocre at best. Will thinks he's too cool, Grayson is bald, Sam is really shy, Tommy is just weird and Blaze...

...his name is Blaze.

They really don't do anything to piss me off, it's just that they have a whole different dynamic than the archies did. Thankfully, they go home in 6 days... and I leave Clemson FOR GOOD.

i don't know why

-Norah Jones

I don't know why the parking nazis have it out for me. I really truly don't. It's like they seriously have a picture of my car on the dash of EVERY parking services vehicle and my license tag number engrained in their memories. My car is ALWAYS the one to get ticketed. I know that half the time, I am in the wrong and I shouldn't be where I am for as long as I am, but THE SAME SHOULD GO FOR EVERYONE ON CAMPUS.

Right now, Nick's car, Aurora, has been in its spot for at LEAST an hour. There is a desk assistant, Jake, whose car has been in its spot since this morning. It's 2:20 pm. What the HELL is up with that? Why are their cars safe and mine isn't?

Forget that... last week, it wasn't even MY car that was ticketed. When I had the Rottweiler up here, IT got a ticket. Those stupid parking whores just know vehicles that I drive and seek them out to ticket them. I hate them SO much.

...just another reason why I can't wait to get out of Clemson... just 9 more days!

Oh, and closing on the townhouse has been moved up to September 2nd in order to secure a lower interest rate. w00t for that.

the great compromise

Well, I am glad to report that I did not experiment with any handguns over the weekend. It got close for a minute... It really was one of the most frustrating weekends of my life... to have to stand up against my parents for something that I wanted and was fully entitled to, even though it was disappointing to them.

I had said that my parents were impossible. That is the furthest thing from the truth ever. I seriously take back everything that I said about them. In all reality, I am the impossible one. I just don't like talking to my parents... not because I don't like them, but I don't express myself well in speech. If you let me write something down, I can do a pretty good job of expressing my feelings. I never gave them the opportunity to sit down and talk to me about my living situation. I was under the impression that they were going to bring me back into the house and treat me the way that I was treated in high school. That just isn't acceptable. Ironically, even they felt that way.

So, I will not be moving into an apartment with Kate.

I came to this conclusion after about a 2 hour discussion with both of my parents. It got a little hot at moments, but in the end, I realized why they didn't want me to rent and that they didn't want to control my life.

The funny thing is, they let me sit there and argue with them for 2 hours, just so they could pull out a new home brochure to show me some townhomes they thought I would like. The thing had been sitting on the table the whole time, but I didn't pay it any attention. My parents said that the night before while they were preparing for our little discussion, they passed by and thought they would be perfect for me. Ironically, the townhomes had caught my eye before, but I had NO intention of buying a place at all. My parents on the other hand did...

So, the great compromise was for me to buy a townhome at The Reserve at Riverside. The mortgage for the townhome would be the same as total rent at an apartment, so I could buy the place and Kate could rent from me. It sounded good... a little too good to be true. But in all reality, it wasn't.

We went to the townhomes, about 3 miles away from my parents' house, and toured 3 different models. The third, the Summerton was the one that I liked the most. It just so happened that the last townhome on the right in the front of the development was a Summerton and was available. The house was perfect: brick front, upgraded cabinetry, molding, appliances, and carpet. Plus, since it was on the end of the unit, it had side windows, which aren't standard.

My parents asked if I liked it.

I said yes.

I bought the house... put the sold sign out in front of it and everything.

Yeah... seriously. It required only a credit check and a very small downpayment. Surprisingly, even though I have no credit cards, I have exceptional credit... apparently my parents put my name on one of their cards but never let me use it. They used it and kept payments up to date. So, I was cleared to purchase the place.

So, I am scheduled to close on MY townhome, 29 Stratus Court, on September 10... the day after I get my first paycheck.

...damn, it feels good to be a homeowner.

complaining

I hate my life.

But before I delve into that, before you scowl and say, "Hamilton has nothing to worry about," you don't know me. Maybe you know me, but you don't know me as much as I do. EVERYONE has their own issues, and no one person's situation is any worse than another. People are individuals and the ONLY person that knows EVERYTHING about a person is that person. My issues are big for me, just like Sharonaqueeshakaneleka's problems are big for her. So don't make light of anyone's situation... and don't claim to know anything about anyone. You don't know anyone but yourself (and just in case anyone is wondering, this is not directed to any one person... this is a blanket statement to the entire internet community).

My parents are impossible. Point blank. I don't want to go into that any further.

My kidneys don't work. I don't talk about this much in here, just because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. And it is WAY more serious than anyone knows or claims to know, so how's that for thinking you know me?

"I don't believe in love so I can't be saved..." -Ben Folds Five
(Not really a big issue as of late, but it's still worth hating my life for)

That's about it. And ironically, I'm not in a terrible mood. I've just been carrying on like things are normal. I'm not mad or sad... just tickled at how f-ed up my situation is. Don't get me wrong... I am really thankful for the things in my life that ARE going right. They are the few things that can make me smile in the midst of my crazy parents, revolting kidneys, and unbelief of love.

When my mom was talking to me this morning (or shall I say barking), I really thought about how easy it would be to put a gun in my mouth... not kidding... It would make things so much easier. I'm not going to of course... first of all, I don't know where I would get a gun, and secondly, I would be too scared that I would miss and mess things up even more.

Whatever.

hot mama

I wish that this post could be about the wonderful and beautiful Laura Davis, but alas, it can't. It's about MY mom... and as wonderful and as beautiful as she is, that isn't what this is about either.

My mom was HOT yesterday when I told her about my plans not to move back home. Yes... hot as in upset. I want to make it plain and clear that she is not upset because she wants me home... or at least that's what she said. Honestly, I believe her. I believe that she doesn't want me home so she can rule my life, although, knowing my mother and the stipulations that would be put on me by moving home, I can't help but think that a little part of her does want me home for that reason. Anyway, she says that I will be making "the biggest mistake of my life." She is SO against renting it isn't even funny. And I mean, I understand that it isn't what she wants me to do, but I really don't see why she is getting so upset about it. People do things that other people don't agree with all the time... and it's not like I'm breaking the law or doing anything unmoral. Wait... I'm getting ahead of myself...

So, she kept going to say that she knows that it isn't a wise idea and that she has no clue how to make me see that I shouldn't do it (frankly because I think there isn't any terrible reason in the first place). She kept saying that I would never get a running start if I rented and that living at home would allow me to save money in order to buy something of my own later... and so on and so on... and I got this from my aunt, her sister about 5 minutes after I got it from her.

Okay, so now I'm ready to reason ('cause my parents say that I reason too much) about why I think this isn't such a bad idea. First of all... like I said earlier, I'm not doing anything wrong. By renting an apartment, I am doing what millions of people do. I mean, if it wasn't an okay thing, why would there be SO many apartments? And even if millions of people do it and it is "wrong", it isn't wrong in the eyes of the law or God... so, frankly, that should be the end of the conversation... but it's not.

Secondly, I don't want to live at home. It's that simple. I am almost 22... I have a college degree and a job. Why do I need to be under the watchful eye of my parents anymore? For this reason alone, I am okay with doing this, which they don't agree with. It's time that I made some decisions for myself. As Ben Folds says, "Don't Change Your Plans For Anyone."

Thirdly, the apartment is really not going to be that expensive... I haven't posted anything about this because I've been collecting my thoughts and thinking to myself about it since the proposal came up on Sunday night... Kate decided NOT to go to Memphis, but instead move to Greenville to work and go to school part time. So, she asked me if I would live with her. I thought about it at first, and about what my parents would say... and then I thought about it... Kate needs a roommate. I REALLY can't afford an apartment by myself. I don't want to live at home. Kate's my best friend. I knew it would be a good situation. So, for the past few days, my away message has been the words from the theme to the early 90's show Perfect Strangers:

Sometimes the world looks perfect
Nothing can be arranged
Sometimes you just get a feeling
Like you need some kind of change

No matter what the odds are this time
Nothing's gonna stand in my way

This flame in my heart
And a long lost friend
Gives every dark street
A light at the end

Standing tall
On the wings of my dream
Rise and fall
On the wings of my dream

Through rain and thunder
Wind and haze
I'm bound for better days

It's my life
It's my dream
Nothing's gonna stop me now

Anyway, like I said, it's not going to be expensive at all. We went and looked at apartments yesterday. The one that we really liked was Brighton Park. They are really nice apartments in a great location and they are SO affordable... on top of that, because I am employed by the Greenville County School District, I get perks. It honestly is a very good situation... but there is NO way that I can convey that to my parents. I have pretty much decided that this is the first time that I am going to have to go my own direction. I really hate to disappoint them, but I really can't see anything wrong with what I'm doing. And seriously, I REALLY don't want them to be mad at me forever. This is the type of thing that could set them off for an eternity. Ugh.

Basically, I want to be a grown up... I don't want to throw my family away. I worked for 4 years to be at a place where I could support myself and carry on as a responsible adult. Plenty of responsible adults don't live with parents. Plenty of responsible adults rent. They had 22 years... I think they did a good job. It's time to give me a shot.

"time to say goodbye"

It was the moving song sung by Miss South Carolina 2005, Erika Powell, and ironically a fitting title for this time in my life.

Obviously, as you can tell from the first sentence, Kate did not win Miss South Carolina. However, she represented Clemson and all of us who believe in her platform extremely well. I wouldn't have had another Miss Clemson up there at all. The girl that did win, Erika Powell, is a very pretty, very talented girl as well. I think she will represent the state well at Miss America.

Now that Kate isn't continuing in pageants, she has decided to go to The University of Memphis for grad school. Yeah... talk about "time to say goodbye." I can't believe that she is leaving... and that we won't be close to each other any more. The past 3 years, I have spent so much with her and we have truly become best friends... the kind of friends that never get upset with one another... the kind of friends that have opposing views on things but still find a way to compromise... the kind of friends that will stick up for one another no matter what anyone says or does... She is just so awesome and I love her so much and I am so thankful for the friendship that we have. It's hard to even imagine what things are going to be like without having her around. Ugh...

On top of that, yesterday, I had to say goodbye to Kalani. She and Jesse left last night for Orlando where she is going to be teaching. Yesterday we went and had a last meal together and it was almost surreal. It was like I knew later this week we would be getting together to go to Monterrey's or going downtown or something.

It's all so surreal that I can't really even discuss it. These people that I have grown to love... it's not just that I'm leaving Clemson... but they are too... we are going our separate ways. The majority of my friends will still be here next year, but there are so many who did graduate that are starting new chapters in their lives and are just going all over the place. It's so weird.

Am I really not going to have any friends? There really aren't many people in Greenville... hardly anyone from high school... and even if there are, I've been away from them so long, we're practically different people. I know Deni is going to be there... at least until the end of the year... and Jess Hall is there (thank God), but other than that, there really isn't going to be anyone. And yes, Clemson is just up the road, but honestly, I DO want to move on. I just don't want to be "that guy" that still hangs around everyone that's still in school...

I dunno... this just sucks.

"Time to say goodbye." Oh Erika Powell, how you do what you do...

kyle v. the rottweiler

After a very nice, relaxing week at home, I am back in Clemson... the land of my own computer and intenet that doesn't shut off every time the wind blows.

There is one thing that is with me that normally isn't, and one thing that isn't with me that normally is. Kyle is out of commission this week, and at my disposal is my brother's Volvo, The Rottweiler.

I named his car The Rottweiler because it is black with tan interior, which are the colors of a rottweiler... not to mention my complete disdain for the dog and how much I don't like the fact that my brother idolizes his car to the point that he would rather wash his car than do something productive or enlightening... and then he will talk trash about my baby, Kyle.

Now Kyle doesn't look as good as The Rottweiler... I got Kyle a good 2 or 3 years before The Rottweiler came into the picture. Needless to say, it is more worn... and besides, my car goes up and down 123 numerous times a month, while The Rottweiler does good to drive past Furman to church once a week. And even while Kyle is not as shiny or intact as The Rottweiler, he runs fine. But...

...all this is going to change this week. The reason I have The Rottweiler is because Kyle is at the body shop gettin' all done up. Right before graudation, the drivers side door started being really difficult to close... like it wouldn't catch into the door frame. So, I told my dad about it, and we took it to the body shop yesterday. Not only is Kyle's door going to get fixed, but we are (finally) fixing the front driver's side headlight where my neighbor backed into my car, the back driver's side door where I scraped up against the ATM pole (ugh, Clay Aiken), and my dad is getting Kyle painted for my birthday! Yes... Kyle is going to be the "spawkwing diamond" in our driveway before too long.

So, I just had to write about that... and how much I miss Kyle... but just like I had to let go of Kate this week so she can shine at the Miss South Carolina pageant, I have to let him go so he can come back as the way cooler and more awesomer big brother to The Rottweiler (I know "awesomer" is not a word, but I used it... get off my nuts).

Speaking of Kate, tonight is the last night... where they announce the top 10 first thing and then they continue with the rest of the pageant, leading up to the crown at the end!!! I'm such a big pageant DORK now!!! GO MISS CLEMSON!

thoughts after the 3rd night of preliminaries

1. Miss Low State, Casey Armstrong, wore a dookieblue dress. I'm not even playing.

2. Miss Southern, Natoya Dingle, sang that song like it was nobody's business, but...

3. Miss Golden Corner, Erika Powell, is a dangerous girl. She won talent... and swimsuit last night.

4. That's okay because Miss Clemson, Kate Moon, is awesome and she was BANGIN' in her orange evening gown.

5. But really, who told Casey Armstrong that that brown and blue dress was going to be appropriate? I'm stripping her of her tragic title of Miss Low State and renaming her Miss Mauldin Hall, 'cause she definitely matched the dookieblue walls.

my top 10

(in random order)

Miss Greenville - Anna Rebecca Hanks* (3rd Runner Up)
Miss Golden Corner - Erika Grace Powell* (Miss South Carolina)
Miss Clemson - Kate Moon

Miss Marion County - Maegan Nicole Rogers

Miss Lancaster - Linh Lee
Miss Spartanburg - Laura Katherine Stamm
Miss Travelers Rest - Amber Finley* (4th Runner Up)
Miss Liberty - Potitsa Niki Chavis
Miss Greater Irmo - Lauren Elizabeth Vick* (2nd Runner Up)
Miss Greater Greer - Nicole Elizabeth Southgate* (1st Runner Up)

(July 7)

The ones I got right are in bold.
Asteriks indicate top 5, followed by final rank.

productive

Okay, so blogger posts things most recent first... so, this entry comes at 4:32... AFTER the Missy & Hoke entry. I just wanted to say that I HAVE been productive today!

Don't ask why, but I baked a macaroni and cheese dish today. There were cheese, butter, eggs, milk, and noodles just sitting around... and I was just sitting around... so the 6 of us got together and made something delicious. Well, I really don't know if it is delicious or not yet, but it looks good.

I know you want some... too bad.

missy & hoke

...OKAY, BITCHES! THIS IS ME CALLING YOU TWO OUT!

LOL... SO seriously just kidding. I basically just want to say how much fun I had with them last night. Between making comments about the Miss SC contestants, driving around sleepy Boiling Springs, and talking about the dos and don'ts of blogging, I had a really good time. And I know they are going to read this (just like I know triangle head girl is prolly reading this too), especially after our discussion last night... but I have to say, Hoke, I thought you were going to write last night?! What happened? Well, I guess you got home pretty late, so I'll forgive you. But, if you don't at least make a decent effort to update frewuently, I'm going to have to leave you dirty messages on your chatterbox... Don't play...

Anyway, as for the first night of preliminaries, Kate was stellar as ever. She didn't win swimsuit, but she was definitely one of the better ones. Miss Spartanburg tore it up in talent...w00t for instrumentalists. Miss Lancaster looked elegant in her casual wear... but I don't think that is the purpose of CASUAL wear... lol... and plus, she almost fell down the stairs in her evening gown--the SAME evening gown she wore at the Miss Charleston pageant... boo fo' dat.

Anyways, I'm gonna go... this being at home on break thing is making me feel very lazy. I'm going to attempt to do something productive... or not.

damn, it feels good to be a redneck

Okay... short post...

Last night, my aunt, brother, cousin, and I went downtown to County Square to watch the fireworks display. I was completely unaware of how big of a deal it was going to be. Let's just say I had to be real friendly and get very acquainted with all of my Greenville County neighbors. It was SO packed. The exciting thing about it, was that it was nothing short of pure patriotism... Americans of all races, religions and creeds were out there in that parking lot to enjoy "the rocket's red glare" and "bombs bursting in air." It was great.

Well, apparently, when my family went last summer, my brother apparently "started" the "slow clap" at the end of the fireworks. So, his goal was to start it again.

As everyone was sitting in the back of my aunt's Montero and I in the folding chair, people behind us started whooping and hollering. At first, I turned my nose up at their rednecky display... mainly just because the fireworks weren't close to being over and the fireworks hadn't gotten extremely spectacular. Donovan (my bro) started getting very annoyed with our redneck friends and started telling them to hush--only it didn't make a difference because the combination of whooping and hollering and the banging of the fireworks muffled him out pretty well. When the fireworks started coming one on top of the other in quick succession, the rednecks got even louder... and my nose came back down... my lip curled into a grin... I slowly turned around to look at them... my grin turned into a big ol' western Greenville County snaggle toothed cheese... and I opened my mouth and joined in with the redneck ramblin'! I started whooping and hollering too! My brother was VERY disappointed, needless to say. But if that wasn't it, my big ol' rusty aunt (with her fingers in her ears to quell the loudness of the fireworks) started doing it too! Donovan was furious. But it was SO funny!

Ugh! If felt so good to be a redneck! I mean, I thought that being Pickens County was sketchy, but being Western Greenville County... that is some fun for serious!

WOOOOO HOOOOO!

the parentals

So as I was riding back home from watching the fireworks tonight, my parents called my aunt to check up and see how things were back here. Apparently, they enjoyed their Independence Day at a Chinese restaurant.

This isn't what I was going to talk about though. I am going to address the fact that my parents are on a vacation--just the two of them together. It's a little weird to me, because when I started to think about it, I don't have one person that I could go on a vacation with and enjoy it.

But now, I am beginning to think that I wouldn't even enjoy a vacation with only one other person. Of course right now, I don't have one person to go on a vacation with, but if I did, would I enjoy it? Even with my closest friends, I have problems with keeping up conversation when it is just the 2 of us. Seriously, from Kate who I love so dearly, to Jenee who I can crack up with constantly, is there one person that I could spend a whole week with away from everyone else and actually have an extremely enjoyable time?

And the fact that I don't even have a FRIEND that I think I can do this with... is THAT why I am still alone like this? 'Cause I have the inner need to be among a lot of people and I am not suited for intimate time with just one other person?

And even if that isn't the case, I just came to the realization that I am for serious boogee. I am probably not one to talk about being picky when it comes to dating, but honestly, I can't help but turn my nose up at some of the tragedy I see. I know I am always saying "beggars can't be choosers," but that pretty much comes down to quitting your job when you don't have qualifications for doing something else, or turning down something when you have nothing. But in my case, I think I am okay to think the way that I do... It's not like I am rejecting people left and right... seriously, no one has approached me! But today, I was thinking about people that I wouldn't even approach. I mean, even tragic ol' me has to have some standards. Just because I haven't had the best luck with relationships doesn't mean that I am going to settle for anything. I'm gonna need someone with goals, at least some college (preferably a degree if they are no longer matriculating), a job that makes as much or more than me (that isn't asking too much, I'm a teacher), and a cell phone (gotta be able to keep in touch). That's not asking a whole lot. Seriously, I'm tired of high school grad 24 year olds who work in the mall walking around like they are the ish because they are hot and they have a hot significant other. Frankly, what is behind that pretty face is a brain full of nothing but "how to punch in numbers in the cash register." That ain't cute... even to lonely old me.

I'll just remain on my own, I suppose... I can't see myself taking a long vacation alone with just one person anyway...

mcdonalds can suck my nuts

First of all, I shouldn't have been eating McDonalds today anyway... but I was, so you're just going to have to get over that. I'm at home in Greer and as usual, there is nothing in the house. My mom said that she took my brother shopping on Saturday before she left, but somehow, none of the food he got is worthy of me diegesting... that and he ate a box and a half of cereal yesterday (I'm not kidding).

So I go to McDonalds. I have always thought highly of this McDonalds, simply because of its location: it is on the Eastside. Not to be to boogee, but this is thought of as the nicer side of town. As of late, I beg to differ (too many people around here with window air conditioning units in the FRONT of the house). Besdies, with it being on the Eastside, I imagined that the people who worked there were Eastsiders themselves... more than likely, Eastside students out for the summer.

Well, I pull up to the drive through and sit there for a good 5 minutes. No one helped me. I was so pissed off, not just because I wasn't being served, but because there was a line forming behind me and I was the one that was going to look like a fool. So, I pulled up to the 1st window... no one there. At the 2nd window is a car and in the window is the most uncouth, tragic, hot ghetto mess of a girl, standing there with her mouth open. She wasn't really being of any use to anyone... her mouth was just hanging there open. It was an open invitation for me to hock a lugey into it.

Well, I drove back around and they were actually helping the car at the drive thru. So, I waited my turn, only to hear "Would you like to try a value meal?" when I pulled up. There was no "Thank you for choosing McDonalds" or "Welcome to McDonalds." I was utterly disappointed. I made my order, pulled up to pay at the first window, and then braced myself for coming face to face with the waste of a girl that was going to be assisting me at the 2nd window. I don't know if it was a blessing or a curse, but when I got there, she said nothing. She just chucked the bag out to me and shut the window. No "Thank you" or "Do you need any ketchup?"

Boo for that. McDonalds, I am NOT lovin' it.

i hate you so much right now

-Kelis

I do. I hate you. There is no other word for it. Even though I was taught that you aren't supposed to hate anyone, I hate you. For your pride and arrogance... the way you stroll around pissing people off with everything you do. Even when one would think that you are helping people or being of service, you are still being rude... it's written all over your face. You get off on being such a douchebag too... you never show any remorse. You just move on to the next person and piss them off as well.

And you know what? For being as arrogant and and prideful as you are, you aren't extremely talented or anything. Anyone can do the BS that you do. It's not like it takes a lot of effort to just go around and piss people off. You obviously don't need a college degree for that. You probably don't even need a high school diploma for that.

How's that make you feel? Worthless? I wish it did, but honestly, around here you are pretty invaluable. Somehow, the crap that you do day in and day out is beneficial to someone. I inquired about it once and wasn't really sold on how the disgusting fruits of your labor do anyone any good. So, for all I care, you are worthless. You are nothing more than a lazy sack of unintelligent crap that does nothing but pridefully float around causing anguish and distress while the rest of us around here try to do something with our lives.

I hate you, you damn Parking Nazi you...

ENSA

This is where I will be teaching next year... room 249, to be exact... I went and saw my room and got my teacher's editions today.

This is East North Street Academy of Mathematics and Science...

This is my school...

...I know you're jealous.

remixes

It's time to be a little intellectual...

You ever think about remixes? You know, like when you hear them on the radio, or if you are in a dance club and one comes on? They are so much more interesting than the original song. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are better or worse... for me however, I think they are better.

Forget the fact that I like to dance and that a remix contains elements that enhance the song's "dancitude," but just think about how it effects you as a listener...

For example, today, I was downtown with Katy at Blackdog and had NO intention of buying anything (now that I am making money, I REALLY don't like spending it, plus I just bought some new flip flops yesterday--with the new debit card!), but I saw a really cheap The Postal Service CD. The Postal Service as in the ones who do Such Great Heights. I actually saw that single for sale, but as much as I like it, it reminds me a lot of something I don't particularly want to be reminded about, plus I have recently started appreciating another one of their songs, The District Sleeps Alone. So, I bought that single... It contains the original, a remix, a remix of Such Great Heights, and another song, Suddenly Everything Has Changed.

I popped it in when I got back to the dorm and I was just kinda lost in the beats of the remix. I didn't even have the urge to dance... It's weird. Like seriously, a remix can completely change the mood of a song. Well, I have no clue what The District Sleeps Alone is supposed to be about, but I tried to take a crack at it (like I did with Such Great Heights) and I couldn't. I honestly got lost in the music.

I am one of those people who listens to songs and appreciates them for the meaning of their lyrics... a song doesn't necessarily have to be pleasing to the ear for me to like it... if they lyrics are good, then the song is worth me listening to it. However, this music... it just makes me want to forget about the words and dwell on the sounds filling the air... AND WHAT A SMORGASBOARD OF SOUNDS (omg, that was so lame)! There's the bass (gotta love the bass... I'm a tuba player), the random high pitched sounds in the back ground, the voice of the person singing, and all that other electronic sounding stuff that alone is so ridiculous, but when you put it together, it's so complex and intricate... everything fits together so well.

So, this remix phenomena is SO great that it allowed me to stomach the remix of Such Great Heights. I really don't enjoy it as much as I used to... so unfortunate. As I said above, it really changes the mood of a song. Instead of me picturing myself waving from such great heights with a particular someone, I just picture myself giving the bird from such great heights... no, I'm just kidding. But I really don't think of that anymore. I kind of see it as a "this is what perfection is like" type thing instead of "this is what is GOING to be" type thing.

And like I said, besides this change of mood, there's just a whole plethora of sounds that come together to create an intense listening experience. Honestly, it makes me think of the Strongbad e-mail where he is talking about techno. Only, this entry was not supposed to be about techno... it's just ironc that a lot of remixes end up being techno.

Seriously though... a remix... think about it... How about doing a remix of your life? Adding a little extra umph and a few obligatory surprises here and there? Things get so boring and monotonous sometimes... a remix is needed to liven things up... and not only will it make life a little more enjoyable, but like I lose significance of lyrics, maybe as a person, you would lose the significance of those small things in life that bother you so. Seriously. A remix. What a novel idea. And like I said... it doesn't have to be "techno" per say... you don't have to go crazy and do off the wall stuff... just things that aren't necessarily normal.

It really makes sense if you think about it. Then again, I am a weirdo... and people who listen to the likes of remixes are crazy-go-nuts party types who probably need to calm down a little instead of wile out and do something remix-like.

Yeah... so that's it... try a remix, if you're lame, and if you are a spazz like me, simmer a little.

...remixes are great to listen to while you simmer, by the way...