the biggest double-edged sword ever

My mother has gone completely beserk.

And let this be documented as the first time I have bloggged so quickly after waking up.

Okay. Today was my last day at work... thank God. My last day to wake up at 5 am to go and work at the tragic store known from now until the end of the month as "Rich's-Macy*s." I was tired this afternoon. Yes... even though we got done really early and I got off early. On top of that, tomorrow, I have to go and take the Praxis II exam in GREENWOOD, which is like at least an hour away... and I have to be there at 7:30. So, pretty much, it's 5 am tomorrow as well.

Well, apparently, sometime between now and after I fell asleep this afternoon, my dad called. I know that he called, and I know he said something along the lines of, "I'm stuck and I'm going to call your mother." He seemed very okay with this... from what I can remember. Now granted, I was asleep, and when people are asleep, things don't work all the time... You don't always hear everything that is going on, and you don't always know the seriousness of something unless someone is screaming, jumping up and down, or throwing things at you. This calm and somewhat unclear statement from my father did not wake me in the least. And from what I can remember, he never said, "Come and get me." He didn't even ask if I was sleeping I don't think... then again, I don't remember.

Well, I fell back asleep, or rather drifted back into a deeper sleep, and was just awoken when I realized that no one was here and the phone kept ringing constantly. My mom was on the other end saying, "So tell me why it was more important for you to sleep than to go get your father." I was like, "WHAT?" Somehow she had been under the impression that I told my dad, "No. I will not come pick you up, because I am indulging in some much needed sleep... scalawag." Yeah right. If I had needed to go do it (and this is what I said, VERBATUM) "As upset as I would be to get awoken out of my sleep, I would do it." Then she proceeds to tell me how disturbing to hear that I said, 'as upset as I would be.' She was like even if it was in the middle of the night and someone she cared for needed a ride, she would not be upset, but worried about that individual. WHATEVER. No one is going to sit there and tell me that if they get woken up, they are going to immediately jump to doing ANYTHING without waking up cranky and a little disturbed. If you were asleep, your sleep was DISRUPTED. Dictionary.com defines disrupted as "To interrupt or impede the progress, movement, or procedure of." Does that sound pleasant? Would you really be okay with anything you enjoy being interrupted? No.

Well, then I start getting frustrated at how insanely literal she is taking me and how holier than thou she is trying to be... like there is nothing in the world that could make her upset from waking up in the middle of the night to do something... oh, but there IS, apparently. I try to rebut my statement by saying that it is only human nature to be cranky when one is wakened from sleep. I then tried to tell her that there have been times when I have been woken up in the middle of the night only to go and retrieve someone who is too drunk to drive themselves home... THEN, she says the unimaginable... "Well, yes, I WOULD be 'upset' if I had to wake up and go get someone because they were irresponsible and were too drunk to handle themselves! THEN, I would be upset!"

How in the world does that make sense?! I am supposed to jump to the aid of my father who is stuck on the bad side of town in a nice outfit, but when someone is stranded and the only way they can get home is to put their life or someone else's life in danger, I have a right to be upset and angry?! That is the biggest double standard ever. My mom has become so pious, that even helping someone who is doing something inappropriate is not warranted, even when their life is in danger.

I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I now have a stomach ache, and want to leave this house immediately. What kind of house do I live in? It's so bad that I am afraid to admit that I like the movie Saved! If being the son of a preacher wasn't bad enough, I am now the son of a pious preacher's wife.

Someone do me a favor... someone next week, get really drunk... call me and get me to come pick you up. I just want to do it... and NOT get an attitude about it, just so I can spite my mother...