prollems

I'm having prollems tonight. Yes--prollems. They are worse than just problems. However, things are looking up... two episodes of Roseanne are coming on.

Anyway, the beginning of another year has come, and while it's commencement was marred with he sight of my atrocious apartment, I still can't help but be a little cynical about these first few days of the year. Everyone always make resolutions as to what they are or are not going to do for the year. By Martin Luther King, Jr. day, everyone messes up--it's a long weekend, so there's reason to eat lots and have a wild weekend getting drunk. Then by Valentines Day, people are having crazy go nuts sex again, so seriously, what's the point in making a resolution?

Making resolutions is pretty cliche for me. I mean, it doesn't even have to be the beginning of a year for me to make some proclamation for what I am not going to do but then end up doing within a matter of days. So, my "resolution" is not to make one... no. I'm not going to resolve not to make a resolution, 'cause that would just be defeating the purpose of not making one. Dammit, I'm just not going to do anything. Or is that a resolution in it self as well?

Oh, forget it. What I'm trying to say is that there is no reason to promulgate what I am going to be or not be. Even for the Ham Rules... forget those. I haven't even referred to them in a long time... what's the point? What I have found out is that binding myself to a set of rules is stupid. I have been so-called doing that for the past 2 years and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. If anything, I have set myself up for an outcome that isn't coming.

I really don't know what I am trying to say. Like I said, I am having prollems tonight. these prollems go far beyond things like my dirty roommate, or having to work this week. These are issues that I'm sure will not be resolved by the end of this week either. I guess that's why they suck so much... there is no resolution in sight.

And maybe that's why people resolve to do things for the new year. They are attempting to resolve something on their own that they in essence cannot really do (okay, I am finally getting somewhere now). History has proven that there are some things that they just can't really handle... so at the beginning of the year (when people think that for some reason they have a clean slate), they say, "Not this year... Things are going to be different, this year." Hmmm... I'm not quite that gullible to believe it. Some things are the way they are because that is they way they are meant to be. Yes, it's a possibility that someone is meant to be an alcoholic. It's a possibility that someone is meant to make failing grades. It is a possibility that someone's marriage is not supposed to last. There are reasons for all of these seemingly terrible things. That alcoholic may have a child who witnesses their behavior and vows to never drink and live a completely sober and alcohol-free life. That person with failing grades might have to become an enterpreneur and make his own living, which eventually builds into a huge multi-million dollar corporation. That individual that gets a divorce might end up in a better, more healthy relationship with an individual they truly belong with.

So I guess there are reasons for the prollems we have in our lives. And maybe there really is no reason to try to resolve them. Maybe our prollems are roadblocks that make us stronger, or little illnesses that have to run their course. You can't go around the roadblock, but through it... and you can't just take medicine to get rid of the illness, but you have to cough and sneeze a little bit...

All that being said, they still suck pretty bad.