christmas day

Well, another day commemorating the Savior's birth is over... that was fun. I didn't get very much... today at least. I got two shirts, two ties, money, new clippers, new shoes, and most importantly CONTACTS!

See, I thought I wasn't going to get them because we found out that they are very expensive. So, I was content with not getting them, because I knew that that much money at one time with no help from insurance was asking alot. But, the last box I opened today was stuffed with tons of blue tissue paper. Under the paper were two sheets of paper stapeled to each other. The first was a poem tht my mom and dad wrote to me and in it they told me that I WOULD get my contacts. The sheet behind it was the receipt. I was VERY excited. They don't come in for a week or so, so I am enjoying my last few days with glasses... it's kinda bittersweet...

My glasses have defined me for the past 16 years... lots of my friends say when they think of me, they think of my glasses. Some even say I look mean without my glasses on... I have to agree to an extent. Maybe it isn't actually that I look mean, but I don't look like myself... Who knows? It will be exciting to see myself without glasses and see the reactions that I get from people.

Another thing that happened today was special time with my daddy. We rode a little ways to a Spinx mart to get some milk and had a little discussion in the car. I don't really like having discussions with my parents... It isn't because I don't like them or don't love them, but I think it is because I am SO incredibly different from them. Sometimes, I think that I am so wild compared to them... they are really conservative, intensely spiritual, and somewhat stuck in their ways. I am incredibly liberal, spiritual, but not as intense, and very openminded... however, today my dad told me that I keep too much in my mind... He said that a lot of times I think about things to myself and don't put them out there for other people who care about me, leaving myself vulnerable and sensitive... I have to admit... although, writing like this does put my feelings out there. But I think one reason that I don't tell my parents the things that are going on in my mind is because of what I said earlier... I think that the things I think are so off the wall to them sometimes... Like they are gonna think I'm weird and lock me up somewhere for serious counseling or something. And also, I don't want to disappoint them at all... they are so successful and such decent people... I can honestly say I am PROUD of my parents. I wouldn't dare disappoint them.

Anyway, another thing my dad talked to me about was this medical condition that I have... I hardly ever think about it... It's very much there, but it is nothing that really inhibits me from doing anything now. Unfortunately though, the older I get, the sooner my kidneys are just gonna pass out on me... my dad was asking me my plans of the future and stuff... like career plans, and where I want to live and all that stuff... he made it sound like because of the insecurity of my kidneys, I would have to come home after college... but then he started talking about how he knew I wanted to move to Georgia and get away from home... so I'm confused... and actually a little nervous... You know, this has never really been a huge issue for me... I have this condition, and I go to the doctor, and it gets taken care of... but now I have to worry about me being away from home... away from the doctor... and on my own. It's a little scary... and even frustrating. I have appeared normal to most people and to myself all my life, but now that being a grown up is being added to this condition, I don't appear so normal after all...

But not to worry... I'm cool. As far as I'm concerned there are plenty more great Christmas Days to come.