not worrying

Well, it's finally Friday. The building has dinged for a whole week now... the children have been bad for a week now... it has RAINED for a week now. Ugh. Life is just a little bit boring right now.

NOT worrying seems to be adding to this lack of excitement around here too. I mean, yeah, it's great not to worry. I really feel like I am doing a good job. I'm just... really chill. I'm not worrying, and it's boring as all get out.

Last night, I almost started worrying about moving back home in August. This is what I have come to... It's going to suck SO incredibly bad. I mean, next year WILL be the most difficult year of my life. I'm going to be living at home with my parents after 4 years of freedom. I will have the challenges of a brand new job. I won't have any friends around... it's pretty much going to suck so bad. Don't be surprised if a suicide letter is posted in here within the next year... either that or the explanation of a homicide.

But, I then realized, if things start to suck, I'm peacing out. I don't care if I have to rent an apartment. If I am not happy with my living situation, I'm getting out. There is only so much that a grown man living in his parents' house can take. And what is it going to look like if and when I do meet people and I say, "Um, well, we can't go to my house... 'cause my parents are there." OOH... and if they try to give me a curfew, I might burn the house down.

I kinda feel like everyone is growing up... Kalani is moving to Florida, everyone and their dog is going to grad school, everyone else is getting married and starting their lives together AWAY from the parental ball and chain. Me? I'm going back home to Greenville to live with my parents and work for a man who I have known since I was 8. I might be Clemson's most tragic graduate this year.

Anyway, I'm not worrying... just devising plans for what to do when this ish happens.

If I don't like living at home, I'm moving out.
If my parents give me a curfew, I'm burning the house down.
If my life is just shit all around, I'm killing someone.

See? Simple.

As for this very present moment, I am listening to Ben Kweller's In Other Words. I just have it on my playlist 'cause Matt Sparrow sent it to me my freshman year. I like this line though...

Butterflies
Are passive agressive
And put their problems on the shelf
But they're so beautiful...

Ha. Let that simmer for a minute.

Okay, done.

I'm ready for these children to go home. Some of them have been thorns in my side. Others have been the silver lining among the dark clouds. As a whole, I have felt like I have been babysitting Satan's offspting. Last year's 1st 2 week group was SO awesome... so this group coming in on Sunday has a lot to live up to. Actually, I don't care if they are as cool as the 2 weekers last year. All I care is that they are better than the group that has been here this week... and I do believe that is an affirmative (at least it better be).

As for the big K???