the king of krunk

So I know just last week I told you that you could call me captain... and I know way back in December, I told you to refer to me as King Congruence. Well, my boys this week have dubbed me "The King of Krunk." I almost fell over laughing the first time I heard it. Lemme tell you how this name came to be...

So on Friday night, the last night for the ridiculous wastes of teenage boys known as "Archies," (architecture students) the biggest sausage fest on the planet was held in room 3C2. I know what you are wondering... how could they throw a party in a dorm room at a summer camp? Well, these kids did it. I came up to my hall and saw little 8th grade Andrew wearing 2 pairs of boxers, 2 pairs of shorts, no shirt, an open jacket with the sleeves rolled up, and two baseball caps. Following closely behind him was his roommate and fellow 8th grader, Daniel. Daniel had 2 pairs of boxers on and his shorts completely unzipped. Everything else about his outfit wasn't that terrible. When I asked them where they were going looking so stupid, they replied, "The party downstairs!" and shot past me. Well, when I got down there, there was seriously a line outside of room 3C2. There was a metal chair sitting on each side of the door and a kid in a black tank top, black shorts, sunglasses, and gelled hair standing in front of it. It was Matt (remember this kid for later in the entry). In the room behind him, there was loud techno music playing. He had a list in his hands that told him who could come into the room and who could not... Excuse me, not the room... The Club. Anyway, needless to say, my name was not on the list, but he said that if I was dressed "fly to super-fly," gave him $2 and/or a canned drink and/or food, I could get in. I then informed him that I was a counselor and could get in if I wanted to, laughed at him, and walked away. On the way back to my room, Will, one of those ridiculous architecture losers, walked by me in tight red pants, no shirt, and a black bowtie. You should know that the Archie boys were VIPs for this "party." So Will, as strangely as he was dressed, was going to get in regardless.

Well, once I got upstairs, I went into Zach's room, where most of my campers were congregated. Needless to say, they didn't get into the party. I then gave them a little pep talk explaining what a sausage fest was for them. I told them that it seemed a little strange that these scantily clad boys were all cramped into a small dorm room with the lights off (oh yeah, when the door to the party opened, I saw that the lights were off) and loud techno music. I harped on the fact that there were NO GIRLS in this room at all... then they realized that the party was the biggest loser fest ever. The boys really just had a bad case of sour grapes, but I tried to make them feel like they weren't missing anything. The real reason they didn't get in was because those Archies, who considered themselves SO cool, did not consider them cool. My campers definitely aren't the fratty type like these Archies and the Archie Entourage (campers that came the Sunday after the Archies first week who were kinda fratty and got in tight with them).

Anyway, we got to talking about some things and then they started poking fun at me talking about how I was an interesting character because I watched Jimmy Neutron and listened to Tipsy. I have to admit... it kinda doesn't match now that I just typed the two in the same sentence. But I told them that I was really a kid at heart and liked to do things kids do... like watch Nickelodeon ALL the time. Then I explained to them why I didn't want them to refer to me as Mr. Hamilton, sir, or counselor. Carl had called me counselor on the first night and I told him that it really made me feel weird. I was like, "Didn't you see my name on my door?" He was like, "Yeah, on that crown? You have lotsa crowns all over the place in there." (since I have been on this King Congruence kick, I have taken a strong liking to crowns... but I don't have many... just the crown from summer camp 2 years ago, my Burger King crown, and the crown on my door that has my name on it) Then Daniel spoke up and said, "Didn't you know? He's the King of Krunk!" They all laughed and I told them that I liked that name... so... now, they all refer to me as the King of Krunk.

The Matt kid that played bouncer outside of Sausage Fest 2004 got arrested later that night for smoking pot.