people

::sigh::

Sometimes, I just get frustrated with people. I'm sorry. I just can't stomach some people... the people that take things WAY too serious... the people who think that what they say is gold and cannot be disputed... the people who talk down to other people just because they can... the people who think they've got it all figured out... the people who try to run stuff when things are meant to be a collaborative effort... the people who want to be grown but are in essence very immature...

These people make life difficult for me. These people are blogworthy... they inhabit my thoughts so much that I have to put them in here (this little "box" as the brothers of Gamma Xi say) so I won't have to think about them so much.

These people make me seem like a mean person. I'm really not. It's just these people... they just bring out the worst in me. I can't help it. Time after time, I sit there while some people are talking or being their obnoxious selves and try to keep my face from contorting into a scowl. Often, I just look like I am staring blankly into space or like I am just not interested... but in reality, EVERYTHING the person is saying is sinking deep deep within me and it is permeating the innermost layer of my soul... the part that even though is highly internal, it is the most sensitive. I hear what the person is saying sometimes, and I just say to myself, "Don't respond... Just thank God that you aren't like that." I mean, is that conceited? Yeah, I would imagine, 'cause frankly, some of the stuff that I sit through and listen to makes me feel "10 Times Stupid" as Nathan Smith once said.

I really do sit there and think to myself, "What am I getting from listening to this? Entertainment? Anger? Any emotion at all?" If I am getting entertainment, then I usually join into the conversation. If I feel like I am going to get angry, I usually listen intently and make my own comments in my head... only seldom do I share those comments with people (until recently). If I am not getting any emotion at all, then the conversation is nothing but words floating in the air... I'm usually completely aloof to these types of conversations.

I've said all of this to say, interaction with some people is pointless. I am just going to either be annoyed or bored with some people... so, I feel as if it would be best if I just kept to myself sometimes. I mean, I am not a recluse or anything. I honestly get emotionally disturbed when dealing with some people...

...So from now on, don't take my silence or absence as me being unsociable or sadiddy (I love that word). Some people are honestly just "wasting my life" as Penelope Taynt says.