pauley's island

Greetings from Pauley's Island! I'm here visiting with Bryn, Kelly, and their sister Lane. We came up yesterday after a short stop in Summerville. Today, we went out to the beach on the island. It was SO awesome. I really love the beach. I thought I wasn't going to make it to the beach this summer, but thankfully I have. I guess I have had my little vacation... camp starts on Sunday... I was excited, but not so much anymore.

Anyway, things are good... after a pretty restless Satruday night, I was able to make it this weekend rippin' and roarin' through South Carolina. Saturday night's events really tore me up... you know, the phone call and all... I couldn't sleep... It put the *NSYNC song The Two of Us in my mind.

You know I toss and turn when I'm alone...

Yeah. It sucks... I hate being this way... having my mind invaded by foreign thoughts. I was just sitting downstairs here at the Salters thinking "You know, I'm going to think back on this trip and these first few weeks after graduating and THIS is going to come to mind." Tragic. Ugh.

Oh well. Sadly, these thoughts also seem to be keeping me from being social interaction. My mind is racing so much that sadly, it seems like everytime I should be socializing or joining in conversaiton, I would rather be alone thinking to myself. I mean, I guess I'm always in a pretty pensive mood, but more now than normally.

Like today on the beach, I walked around on the shore looking for seashells and softly humming Such Great Heights while Patrick and the girls were out in the ocean... but also, the water was really cold and I wasn't about to be all out in the water as cold as it was.

Once again, tragic.

Is that what my life has become? I really am starting to feel old... I mean, this situation is making me feel old. I feel distant from my friends in a way. I really hope they don't feel like I am distancing myself. That's not my intention. I even thought about not coming just because I knew that I was going to be in a pretty intense mood after Saturday night. But then I thought, what good is it sitting in that apartment all day with nothing to do, when I can go to the beach and hang out with my friends for almost no cost? Yeah, I did the right thing by coming...

I am just so thankful that they had a computer so I could get some of these thoughts out. Hopefully now, I can go back downstairs and be a little more sociable with this off of my mind.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I am NOT trying to alienate myself from anyone. And I am not being a complete bitter snob...

...I make it obvious when I am attempting to do that.