too much tv

OMG. I am sitting in my room with the door open (hang on a minute... you've got to get the whole atmospheric picture to understand this), my desk lamp on, my overhead light off, my blinds open, and it's 8:49 pm... so it's completely dark all around me, except for where I am sitting at this present moment. Plus, it's weird because in this darkness, I am succeptible to just about everything. My room door is open and the blinds are open... so since it's dark outside and my lamp is on, every nosy individual in The Reserve can see me. It's an odd little atmosphere... but I'm in an odd little mood.

All week... well, ever since school ended, I have spent my days and nights watching television. Correction: watching channel 38... Nick Jr., Nickelodeon, Nick at Nite. It's pretty much all I care to watch. So, part of my frustration is the fact that normal television (television for adults and other individuals my age) does not amuse me. I mean, I feel weird watching Blue's Clues and The Backyardigans... but I enjoy them? Am I too much of a teacher type? Ugh! I really only started feeling this way when our new roomie, Doug, moved in yesterday. I was like, "I wonder what he thinks, hearing all this little kiddy music and stuff coming from my room." I PROMISE I am not a pedaphile... yuk, yuk, yuk. I love kids... and I want to see them succeed academically. I think I like those shows because it helps me relate to them... okay... I'm going to stop now before I start sounding any more like Michael Jackson. Ugh...

Anyway, the television is too much for me. I have had enough. And you know, I have missed blogging on a regular basis. Yesterday, I started delightful* back up. It felt good to write so much and be so creative again. I think that I seriously had become a bum...

I have felt just kinda blah... like a bump on a log. Watching TV, not having my mind stimulated in any kinda way whatsoever, sleeping, eating... going downtown...

I guess that is another thing that I have had enough of... I don't even feel like going downtown tonight. In fact, I am going to get a Woodchuck right now, and drink it while I type...

Okay... that's enough of being visible to The Reserve parking lot... I felt like I was being watched. And on top of that, I found some wine in the refrigerator that I started drinking last night that I need to finish, so I don't want to be sitting here in front of the window where everyone can see me drinking wine AND a beer. LOL... but the internet community will know anyway...

But, like I said... downtown. Now, I love Clemson... but downtown Clemson sucks in the summer time. I have been thoroughly unimpressed these past couple of days. Mexi-Monday... Boo. Karaoke at TD's... Boo. I'm not even about to face the tragic crowd at trivia at TTT . I mean, if I could get back the hours of my life I wasted downtown Monday and yesterday, I would... but dang... can't do that...

Was just reading a book that my dad wants me to read called The Best Question Ever by Andy Stanley. It's a good book, and "the best question ever" is actually the best question ever. It was just talking about life and how much time we waste... lemme get an excerpt from it... maybe someone can get something from this little passage...

...Where did all that time go?
The answer: away.
It went away. And there is no way to recover a minute of it. There is no leftover time. It can't be saved up for later. You can't store it. It just goes away. So we all look back and wonder where the time went. It seems like yesterday I was sixteen. Where did my twenties go? Why don't I have more to show for my thirties?

Yeah... it's the truth. I just graduated from college and I have been asking myself... Where did those 4 years go? All the time worrying about petty little things, and being upset with people over stupid stuff, and doing useless unwise things... God, it was fun... LOL. And now, I have time to do that... just about 3 months to get all of the college boy out to make room for Mr. Parks the 4th grade teacher. Am I ready? Not right yet. But, what am I doing? Drinking in the dark by myself... Alcoholism anyone?

No, seriously, I'm not an alcoholic. I was told last week that it is only alcoholism when you are endangering your life, or not taking your friends and/or lovedones into consideration. Right now, I just need this. A little bit of me time with the computer... and a nice green bottle of Woodchuck... the wine was nasty... I just don't like wine.

Anyway, yep. I'm bored, and there isn't much more to talk about. I could delve into that whole LACK OF a relationship mumbo jumbo, but thankfully, I do think that that is one thing that I have learned how to deal with over those 4 lightning fast years of college. I'm single... so fucking what? I mean, seriously... I should really learn to take things as they come. I'm 21... I have lots more TIME in front of me (hopefully). I mean, sure it would be fun to spend the time NOW with a special someone, but that is not of great importance to me. I made it through 4 years of college without 1 single solitary serious relationship. Who am I kidding? I made it through college without 1 single solitary non-serious relationship.

My dad once did a sermon about single men being eunichs or something. I don't really know what the real term or definition is, but I think I like the word. I wouldn't mind being called a eunich. It's cool. It's a lot more uncommon that being called a husband or a boyfriend.

Whatever... what will be will be... what WON'T be WON'T be.

See... too much TV fries your brain and makes you bitter and pessimistic and drink alone in the dark in front of windows with open blinds so everyone can see you... even if all you watch is Blue's Clues and Miss Spider's Sunny Patch.