it's not even a full moon

Deshyea almost got buckwild on 3 little boys today... all because they said she was "smoking trees with her black lips." WTF kinda cut down is that?! GAWD!

My terrible children can't even deliver a decent cut down! It makes me SO MAD for SEVERAL reasons.

1. Their cut downs usually make no sense and don't adequately poke fun at a student's true physical flaws. For example, Deshyea does NOT have black lips. And I brought this to the boys' attention. However, she is taller than EVERYONE else in the class. A more suitable cut down would be, "Gurl, you so tall, when i come up to talk to you, all I see is yo' ashy knees!"

2. Their cut downs call someone stupid and then state a reason that is not at all related. For example, one might say, "You so dumb, yo' shoes are bobos!" or "Yo' momma so fat that you pick your nose!" Boo.

3. These STUPID cut downs make kids mad! UGH! Like Deshyea for example, came up to me and was like, "Khavis said I smoke trees." I was like, "Deshyea, that doesn't make sense. And besides, is it true?" She was like, "No." So I was like, "Well, then, don't worry about him. He's being silly. Just ignore him." Well, about an hour later at lunch, the girl is in tears because people have been walking around chanting "TREES!" in front of her. The only reason I addressed the issue was because she was crying. But omg, if we had not been at school and this had been a situation at camp, I would have gone off...

Deshyea, get over it! What is wrong with you?! You are upset 'cause these little boys are saying the word "trees" around you? Lord girl, is it making you upset because you are tall like a tree?... No?... Then what is the problem?... They said you do what with trees?! Deshyea, look at that tree out the window. Tell me how in the world can you smoke a big old tree like that? Hmm... Your lips don't look big enough to put that in your mouth to me. And even if you did put that big ol' tree in your mouth, your lips would not be black... probably brown from the dirt, but seriosuly. Now think about it... who isn't making sense here?... Right, they aren't. But look at this! Neither are you! Why are you crying over this stupid statement that these ignorant boys have said to you. If you can look at that big ol' rusty tree and tell me that there is no human way for you to smoke it, then why are you crying about it?... Now tell me this... If you COULD smoke that tree, would you do it? 'Cause if so, then I might make fun of you too. And then you'd have a reason to cry if I made fun of you, first of all because my cut down would actually be something good, not stupid like what these boys have been saying to you. Wanna hear? I'd say something like, "Gurl, you smoke trees?! What kind of dummy walks up to a tree and says, 'Mmmm, I'm gonna smoke that tree and it's gonna be off da chain!'? That is so whack. Smoking cigarettes is bad, but smoking trees is just STOOPID!"... Yeah, that was funny wasn't it?... Now what they said, "You got black lips, so you must smoke trees" is what?... STOOPID, right! See? Don't worry about those boys. In a few years, they're gonna look at you and be like, "Dang, Deshyea is BANGIN'! Why did I have to go and talk about her lips back in 4th grade?! I sure do wish I could kiss those same lips now!" And you can just walk by, give them the nastiest look, make a smoochy face and say, "Ha. I'd rather smoke a tree." Ooh yeah, gurl, you'll get even...

But alas, you can't talk to kids like that at school. It would have been so more effective than the resolution that I had to come to today. I so wish I could have gone off on those boys though... not for being mean to Deshyea, but on their LUDICROUS cut down. Boo...