on bananas and bubble tea

"Just another manic Monday..." well, that just doesn't do today justice! Today was actually a decent Monday, if Mondays could ever be described as decent. I woke up at 6, wanted to go back to sleep, but braved the week anyway.

And I just have to say that the children in room 249 of East North Street Academy might have finally gotten their ish together. Either that, or I have put the fear of God and the fear of the wrath of Mr. Parks on them (actually, one of my students' moms is to blame... that sista came up to the school within 10 minutes of me e-mailing her about her son's behavior, and ever since, things have been different). They know I don't play. Even the plant engineer said something that sorta resembled a compliment: "Haven't heard your kids much lately. You must have got them under control." I kinda looked at him funny as I stood there in front of the microwave waiting for my soup to warm up. Part of me wanted to say, "Shut up, you're the 'plant engineer.'" Another part of me wanted to say, "Why the hell do you care if you hear my kids or not? You still haven't fixed my damn pencil sharpener." But the Jesus in me said, "Well, they're getting there." He just laughed and walked away. I SO should have said, ""Haven't had any sharpened pencils in class lately. You must have lots of other plants to engineer." Lord, let me stop...

Anyway, besides getting "D-Boed" by the head janitor, one of my students decided to throw a conniption fit over the fact that it was Columbus Day and we had school. Frankly, if anyone was gonna be pissed that there was no holiday, it should have been me. The student that got all pissed came to school and had a damn holiday anyway! He never does any work. Anyway, he was all like, "Every other school I went to gave us Columbus Day off." I could have cared less that today was Columbus Day. Do we get any presents or have a big feast because Columbus ACCIDENTALLY found the Americas? No. So why should we care? Ironically enough, it is what we are studying in Social Studies this week (It really worked out great). But other than the educational aspect of Columbus's "great discovery," no one cares. It's just October's sorry attempt to be a cool month and have 2 holidays. You suck, October.

When I got home, I did the daily routine of nothing. Oh yes, it is absolutely fabulous (wink, wink). Even though I miss college a lot, there is nothing better than coming home and knowing you have NOTHING to do. No homework, nothing to grade, nothing to plan for... It seems almost sinful to be so slothful! Oh well... I spent 6 and a half hours with 20 4th graders today... I deserve a break.

Anyway, I was so honored by the instant messaging company of my buddy Michael... but we'll call him Freddie the AGR. Freddie rocks my face off. I mean, honestly... I was in stitches talking to him. But where he is different from my little special ones, he makes me laugh and think at the same time. My chilluns just make me laugh... and throw up in my mouth a little every once in a while... but now that I think of it, ol' Freddie made me do the same thing: "This shit is bananas: b-a-n-a-n-a-s."

Ew.

Think about it. Yeah, he made me think about it. Apparently, the outrageously overplayed, disgustingly annoying anthem of the summer really isn't random at all. When we all were wondering what shit was bananas, Freddie had it all figured out. THIS shit is bananas... Gwen's... Thanks for that, Gwen; we all feel like we are a part of your "Tragic Kingdom" now. And thanks, Freddie... let's ride to AGR Mountain Weekend in your domestic Mazda... lol.

Finally, I wound down the ever so magnificent Monday with a trip to Pho #1. It's this Vietnamese Pho Noodle restaurant that Kate and I went to last week. The Pho is... interesting. It's good, but I just don't like the fact that my chicken noodle soup tasted like Crest. They put mint leaves in the soup. Silly Asians, mint is for toothpaste! However, those same silly Asians came up with the most intriguing dessert drink ever: BUBBLE TEA! Oh, frabjous bubble tea, how you tease my mind with the name avocado, but the flavor so sweet and rich! How your tapioca pearls enrapt my teeth in a whirlwind of oral ecstacy while my tongue is...

...oh, sorry. Yeah... Bubble Tea. It's like a milkshake with little flavorless chewy pellets at the bottom. The flavor I had was Avocado... Yeah, when I asked the lady last week, she was like, "Yes, avocado." I was like, "Like the kind they use in guacamole?" Sure enough, the drink was made out of avocados. I dunno how they do it. It's like how they put mayonnaise in the chocolate cake at Macaroni Grill and it still comes out tasting good. Just makes you wonder who sat down and said:

"Hey lets make a milkshake out of avocados! And it'll be even better if we mix in mayonnaise!"

"Nah. Lets put tapioca balls in it... we can put the mayonnaise in this chocolate cake batter!"

"Wait a minute, that's not chocolate cake batter..."

"Omigod! This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"