Well, I write to you tonight for the last time as a resident of this house. Tomorrow, I will close on my townhome and become and OFFICIAL homeowner. I know you're jealous. Bite me.
Seriously, I'm really excited. Not so much about being a homeowner, but just having my parents out of my hair. I am going to be a REAL grown up... wow. I am really excited.
And that's about all I have to say about that. Not much more. Work, friends, lack of a relationship... not too important at the moment...
...I've got house on the brain.
Oh, and it might be a while before I write again... I gotta get the internet set up at the townhizzy first... much love... COME VISIT!
Monday, August 29, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
no longer exciting
No, not school. School never ceases to be exciting. Sometimes I sit and think, "Geez, I have 176 more days with those kids... Damn!" And other times I'm like, "This is going to be so much fun spending so much time with these kids." Teaching is so wishy washy.
Along with it being wishy washy, it makes for not so exciting blog entries. I was thinking today, "Now that school has started and there's nothing extremely new to write about, and I have no friends that I am in contact with daily, my blog entries are going to be really dull." So THIS is no longer exciting. I guess I could write about my problem child... "Joe" as my mom refers to him. I refuse to write his name in here because it escapes my mouth eleventy-seven times a day. Boo.
I guess I can write about this heifa of a teacher who teaches 5th grade. Part of me is upset at the fact that she is grown, a teacher, and she has done enough in a week and a half to make me not like her... the other part of me is tickled that even though I am "grown" and have a real job, there are still people around to jump all over my nerves.
It first started when I met her last Monday. David, the other 4th grade teacher was introducing me to her and called her over from this conversation she was having with another teacher. She was talking to the other teacher very loud and excitedly, so I figured she was going to be a very nice and friendly lady. Well, she came over and her facial expression immediately turned to stone. I was like, "Hi, I'm Hamilton Parks!" all friendly and everything. She was like, "Hi." BOO! Then David began talking to her about college football and she immediately perked up and started being all cheery again.
Well, if that wasn't enough, many times when I have seen her walking through the halls early in the morning, she'll say good morning to everyone but me! And I was not going to be the first to say good morning, just because of that mess she pulled on the first day for teachers.
Then, on Tuesday, amidst the chaos that is dismissal at ENSA, I was in my room with the magnet bus students and I heard her yelling at the top of her lungs at the 4th and 5th grade car riders and other bus riders waiting in the hall. This was not a stern "pay-attention-you-need-to-listen-for-instructions" yell, but this was a "shut-the-hell-up-you-wretched-bastard-children" yell. It infuriated me to know that some of MY students were being exposed to her ugliness. To make matters worse, among the confusion, I sent out my magnet students when the announcement for "Miss Jackie's" bus was called (this is part of the ENSA dismissal confusion... why the students only know their bus route based on the name of the driver is unbeknonwnst to me). Miss Jackie is apparently some heifa that drives the magnet bus. Well, old narrow behind 5th grade superbitch did not know this because SHE DIDN'T HAVE MISS JACKIE'S KIDS IN HER ROOM LIKE I DID (whore). So when I sent them down the hall, she started huffing and puffing at the other teachers, "What is this?! Where are they going?! They aren't supposed to be leaving!" I looked at her, smirked, and went back into my room about my business.
THEN... (and this made me SO mad) I was on duty yesterday morning. I was sitting in the hallway when the kids got to school and I was supposed to make sure that the early arriving 4th graders come in, sit down in front of their class, get a book, and read without talking. Well, I see the heifa enter the hallway. I didn't think anything of it really... I was just like, "Well, she isn't on duty, 'cause Ms. Foster is down there on duty for the 5th graders." She was in and out of her room... I guess preparing for the day, but then, she came down to the 4th grade hall and for the first time since that Monday, she spoke to me: "Is Mr. Field in there?" she asked, pointing to David's door. I didn't say anything. I just nodded and she walked by. Well, one would think that if the whole hallway is supposed to be quiet, and if the students follow the MODELING that the teacher does, this Jezebel would talk quietly to David... especially since a few minutes before, she was down on the 5th grade hall saying "You can only talk if you have a college degree. Come show me a college degree and then you can talk." No. This succubus was talking loud and clear to David who wasn't even standing 2 feet away from her. David wasn't talking as loud, probably just because he isn't a hobitch, but this woman was not trying to keep her voice low at all. So, needless to say, the kids took this as an open invitation to talk. So, I decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone: "EXCUSE ME, BUT THERE IS NO TALKING! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE READING!" And I said it loud and clear... WAY louder than our 5th grade heeza. She was a little startled and quieted down a little. David got even quieter... even though I had no problem with the volume of his voice.
UGH! I REALLY don't like that woman. She excites me though, because I really do need something to keep me entertained on a grown up level at that school.
Alas, after tomorrow, its no more 5th grade jerkface woman for 2 days... yay for the weekend!
Along with it being wishy washy, it makes for not so exciting blog entries. I was thinking today, "Now that school has started and there's nothing extremely new to write about, and I have no friends that I am in contact with daily, my blog entries are going to be really dull." So THIS is no longer exciting. I guess I could write about my problem child... "Joe" as my mom refers to him. I refuse to write his name in here because it escapes my mouth eleventy-seven times a day. Boo.
I guess I can write about this heifa of a teacher who teaches 5th grade. Part of me is upset at the fact that she is grown, a teacher, and she has done enough in a week and a half to make me not like her... the other part of me is tickled that even though I am "grown" and have a real job, there are still people around to jump all over my nerves.
It first started when I met her last Monday. David, the other 4th grade teacher was introducing me to her and called her over from this conversation she was having with another teacher. She was talking to the other teacher very loud and excitedly, so I figured she was going to be a very nice and friendly lady. Well, she came over and her facial expression immediately turned to stone. I was like, "Hi, I'm Hamilton Parks!" all friendly and everything. She was like, "Hi." BOO! Then David began talking to her about college football and she immediately perked up and started being all cheery again.
Well, if that wasn't enough, many times when I have seen her walking through the halls early in the morning, she'll say good morning to everyone but me! And I was not going to be the first to say good morning, just because of that mess she pulled on the first day for teachers.
Then, on Tuesday, amidst the chaos that is dismissal at ENSA, I was in my room with the magnet bus students and I heard her yelling at the top of her lungs at the 4th and 5th grade car riders and other bus riders waiting in the hall. This was not a stern "pay-attention-you-need-to-listen-for-instructions" yell, but this was a "shut-the-hell-up-you-wretched-bastard-children" yell. It infuriated me to know that some of MY students were being exposed to her ugliness. To make matters worse, among the confusion, I sent out my magnet students when the announcement for "Miss Jackie's" bus was called (this is part of the ENSA dismissal confusion... why the students only know their bus route based on the name of the driver is unbeknonwnst to me). Miss Jackie is apparently some heifa that drives the magnet bus. Well, old narrow behind 5th grade superbitch did not know this because SHE DIDN'T HAVE MISS JACKIE'S KIDS IN HER ROOM LIKE I DID (whore). So when I sent them down the hall, she started huffing and puffing at the other teachers, "What is this?! Where are they going?! They aren't supposed to be leaving!" I looked at her, smirked, and went back into my room about my business.
THEN... (and this made me SO mad) I was on duty yesterday morning. I was sitting in the hallway when the kids got to school and I was supposed to make sure that the early arriving 4th graders come in, sit down in front of their class, get a book, and read without talking. Well, I see the heifa enter the hallway. I didn't think anything of it really... I was just like, "Well, she isn't on duty, 'cause Ms. Foster is down there on duty for the 5th graders." She was in and out of her room... I guess preparing for the day, but then, she came down to the 4th grade hall and for the first time since that Monday, she spoke to me: "Is Mr. Field in there?" she asked, pointing to David's door. I didn't say anything. I just nodded and she walked by. Well, one would think that if the whole hallway is supposed to be quiet, and if the students follow the MODELING that the teacher does, this Jezebel would talk quietly to David... especially since a few minutes before, she was down on the 5th grade hall saying "You can only talk if you have a college degree. Come show me a college degree and then you can talk." No. This succubus was talking loud and clear to David who wasn't even standing 2 feet away from her. David wasn't talking as loud, probably just because he isn't a hobitch, but this woman was not trying to keep her voice low at all. So, needless to say, the kids took this as an open invitation to talk. So, I decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone: "EXCUSE ME, BUT THERE IS NO TALKING! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE READING!" And I said it loud and clear... WAY louder than our 5th grade heeza. She was a little startled and quieted down a little. David got even quieter... even though I had no problem with the volume of his voice.
UGH! I REALLY don't like that woman. She excites me though, because I really do need something to keep me entertained on a grown up level at that school.
Alas, after tomorrow, its no more 5th grade jerkface woman for 2 days... yay for the weekend!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
the first 2 days
Well, life as a 4th grade teacher really commenced yesterday. 22 students showed up yesterday morning and they year began. As a whole, the class is good. I am glad that I have them because they are kids that have personalities. A few times, you run into a class that has the personality of a rock, and others have personalities of pit bulls (one of my kids has one, and he is mighty proud of it). My class has a personality similar to mine... they just like to have a good time. They get their work done, but they are always up for some fun. Normally, their desire for fun doesn't present too much of a problem... however, one child brings out the worst in everyone. If he wasn't in the class, the class would be PERFECT. He's always out of his seat, ALWAYS off task, and ALWAYS bugging someone. I sent him out twice today. It's so bad that none of the kids want him in their group. A lot of them say that he's the reason why they can't learn or hear or concentrate. I really need to nip that one in the bud right away, 'cause I'll be damned if one kid ruins things for the whole class.
Now today, even though our little problem child was being as bad as he could, the kids got THREE compliments while they were walking in the hall. It was so ironic for several reasons. First of all, if they get a compliment from another teacher in the hall, they get a link added to their chain, and when the chain hits the floor, they get a party. Secondly, I threatened them and told them that we wouldn't go to the big playground if they didn't behave in the hall. Thirdly, even though they behaved well, they voted NOT to go to the big playground when they saw the rest of the 4th graders on the small playground (peer pressure at its finest). Fourth is just the fact that they got THREE compliments... not one, not two, but THREE... right after I fussed at them. Now they think they are like the best class in the school when it comes to walking in the hall. LOL. They did make me proud though.
The only thing I HATE about school is dismissal... and that is no problem but administration's. Goodness, it is the most unorganized 45 minutes of the day. I mean, I have gotten around my weird specials time (and got it worked out so I DO have planning on Monday) and I can even make my fun-loving class calm down in the halls, but I can't do anything to assist in that mess they call dismissal. Ooh, I hate it. BOO! Isn't it funny how the time of day that the kids are getting out of your hair is the worst? LOL. Please do better, ENSA.
Other than that, stuff's good. I did the walk through at the townhouse this afternoon... They showed me how to work the air and stuff... checked the appliances, made sure the windows were good, went through and made notes of where touch up painting needs to be done, and learned which light switches work for which lights. It was fun... not really, but interesting I guess. Sometime before next Tuesday I have to get the utilities turned on. What good is a new place with no utilities?
Alright, time to plan for next week... and then go to sleep ASAP... I've got duty at 7 am tomorrow.
Now today, even though our little problem child was being as bad as he could, the kids got THREE compliments while they were walking in the hall. It was so ironic for several reasons. First of all, if they get a compliment from another teacher in the hall, they get a link added to their chain, and when the chain hits the floor, they get a party. Secondly, I threatened them and told them that we wouldn't go to the big playground if they didn't behave in the hall. Thirdly, even though they behaved well, they voted NOT to go to the big playground when they saw the rest of the 4th graders on the small playground (peer pressure at its finest). Fourth is just the fact that they got THREE compliments... not one, not two, but THREE... right after I fussed at them. Now they think they are like the best class in the school when it comes to walking in the hall. LOL. They did make me proud though.
The only thing I HATE about school is dismissal... and that is no problem but administration's. Goodness, it is the most unorganized 45 minutes of the day. I mean, I have gotten around my weird specials time (and got it worked out so I DO have planning on Monday) and I can even make my fun-loving class calm down in the halls, but I can't do anything to assist in that mess they call dismissal. Ooh, I hate it. BOO! Isn't it funny how the time of day that the kids are getting out of your hair is the worst? LOL. Please do better, ENSA.
Other than that, stuff's good. I did the walk through at the townhouse this afternoon... They showed me how to work the air and stuff... checked the appliances, made sure the windows were good, went through and made notes of where touch up painting needs to be done, and learned which light switches work for which lights. It was fun... not really, but interesting I guess. Sometime before next Tuesday I have to get the utilities turned on. What good is a new place with no utilities?
Alright, time to plan for next week... and then go to sleep ASAP... I've got duty at 7 am tomorrow.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
just what i expected
Well... lets just put something out on the table. In 9 days, I close on the townhouse. It really can't come any sooner... because, I hate it here at home... just like I knew I would.
Let me tell you the big reason why: I can't do anything right. Nothing.
And I don't understand this... I mean, people outside of my house see me as an accomplished and responsible person, but my parents will always see me as their mindless little boy in need of "good counsel" as my mom always says. I don't know why recently she has started preaching to me about EVERYTHING. It's like every time she gets a chance, she throws in a little life lesson about SOMETHING. I hate it.
Frankly though, I have learned how to deal with it. I really don't listen very attentively... I just let her spill her guts, and then without responding, I walk away. She feels accomplished and I just wasted 10 minutes of my life. It works out great.
I don't know whether this is her getting her last little bit of parenting in, or what, but it's really starting to bug me.
On top of that, the end of this week was horrible. I didn't get my reimbursement check from the state department, so I am about $250 in the black, Kyle's brake job cost $400, last night I got TWO tickets because I didn't have up to date insurance information in my car and I haven't put my new sticker on my license tag yet, and the underwriter for my mortgage loan is being a royal bitch and is not accepting the paper work I went all over God's creation to get last week.
I tell you what... school starting really is going to be RELIEF... being around carefree kids all day long, and at least for this week, not doing anything too constructive. LOL.
I could really use some sweet relief... tonight would be a "lets get trashed and drink our problems away night." But, you must have money for that.
Boo.
Let me tell you the big reason why: I can't do anything right. Nothing.
And I don't understand this... I mean, people outside of my house see me as an accomplished and responsible person, but my parents will always see me as their mindless little boy in need of "good counsel" as my mom always says. I don't know why recently she has started preaching to me about EVERYTHING. It's like every time she gets a chance, she throws in a little life lesson about SOMETHING. I hate it.
Frankly though, I have learned how to deal with it. I really don't listen very attentively... I just let her spill her guts, and then without responding, I walk away. She feels accomplished and I just wasted 10 minutes of my life. It works out great.
I don't know whether this is her getting her last little bit of parenting in, or what, but it's really starting to bug me.
On top of that, the end of this week was horrible. I didn't get my reimbursement check from the state department, so I am about $250 in the black, Kyle's brake job cost $400, last night I got TWO tickets because I didn't have up to date insurance information in my car and I haven't put my new sticker on my license tag yet, and the underwriter for my mortgage loan is being a royal bitch and is not accepting the paper work I went all over God's creation to get last week.
I tell you what... school starting really is going to be RELIEF... being around carefree kids all day long, and at least for this week, not doing anything too constructive. LOL.
I could really use some sweet relief... tonight would be a "lets get trashed and drink our problems away night." But, you must have money for that.
Boo.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
the class roster
I got my class roster today. It was very exciting... to see the names of the students I would be teaching for the next nine months. I have 21 (which I am VERY excited about, because last year, Melissa had 28... boo). Yeah, that was really exciting. On top of that, we got our schedules today, telling us when we have science lab, art, PE, music, and media center. That was HIGHLY confusing, seeing that when I went to Brushy Creek and even at Code last year, specials were at the same time daily. Well, at ENSA, I have nothing on Monday (no planning... boo) then Tuesday through Friday, I have different things at different times. So much for a structured environment. It's welcome stress though. I like problem solving.
Anyway, that was the highlight of the day (sadness, seeing how it is my JOB). But, the reason why is because Kyle is in the shop for his breaks. He sounds horrible, and I feel bad for not taking him in sooner, but I am really upset that he's not out yet. The people said that he'd be done today. And he's not. It bothers me. I mean, Greenville is already boring... imagine how boring it is with no automobile. Boo. So my mom had to drop me off and pick me up from school today...
BOO.
It REALLY reminded me of elementary school. I was a little embarrassed, but when I was talking to Vanessa, another first year teacher, she completely understood (she's hella cool by the way... our rooms are right next to each other and her theme is "Sitting on Top of the World" while mine is "Strive For the Highest"... it's very planetary between the two of our rooms).
Kyle just better be done by tomorrow...
Tomorrow... MEET THE TEACHER DAY!!! Meet the students day for me... and then, it's THE WEEKEND... and then... SCHOOL STARTS!
I'm such a dork, 'cause I am SO excited.
Anyway, that was the highlight of the day (sadness, seeing how it is my JOB). But, the reason why is because Kyle is in the shop for his breaks. He sounds horrible, and I feel bad for not taking him in sooner, but I am really upset that he's not out yet. The people said that he'd be done today. And he's not. It bothers me. I mean, Greenville is already boring... imagine how boring it is with no automobile. Boo. So my mom had to drop me off and pick me up from school today...
BOO.
It REALLY reminded me of elementary school. I was a little embarrassed, but when I was talking to Vanessa, another first year teacher, she completely understood (she's hella cool by the way... our rooms are right next to each other and her theme is "Sitting on Top of the World" while mine is "Strive For the Highest"... it's very planetary between the two of our rooms).
Kyle just better be done by tomorrow...
Tomorrow... MEET THE TEACHER DAY!!! Meet the students day for me... and then, it's THE WEEKEND... and then... SCHOOL STARTS!
I'm such a dork, 'cause I am SO excited.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
congratulations...
...you have stumbled across one of the few entries like this that I actually put in here instead of my secret blog. I hope you enjoy it thoroughly... especially you, stalker triangle head girl...
So I start of by posing this question: Why? (The assistant principal at ENSA said that it's always good to start out a writing sample with a question because it is a good topic sentence and it is such an infrequently used strategy) Why can I give such good advice on love and such, but when it comes to myself, I can't do right? I mean, seriously. Ever since middle school, I have been in TLC and Natural Helpers... I have been a counselor for children who have been victims of neglect and poverty. I'm a friggin teacher! I help people LEARN! But alas, when it comes to helping myself, I might as well be a vegetable: I can't do anything.
I pose this question because of the conversation I just had with a friend of mine who was having issues with his relationship. I'm not gonna go all into his business, but all I'll say is, he was felt his 4 year relationship was loosing its spark and a new love interest was catching his eye... what was he to do? We talked, and I actually kinda frightened myself when it all came down to it. I didn't even have to think about what to say to him. I did have to censor myself from giving MY opinion and telling him whether he was right or wrong, but when it came to giving him encouragement and telling him wise decisions to do, it came so easily! The advice just flowed from my brain (and heart) to my fingers and I just typed it out. It was so good... I mean, seriously, so good... which is why I had to come write about it here directly after we got done discussing.
So, it's funny... even though I don't have these relationship problems or questions, and I don't have a relationship period, it makes me feel good. Kinda like I'm a little use to somebody. I'm not really exclusively special to any one person, but it felt good to know that my advice and me taking the time to care was greatly appreciated.
I guess if I can't have a relationship, I should at least help people keep theirs.
So I start of by posing this question: Why? (The assistant principal at ENSA said that it's always good to start out a writing sample with a question because it is a good topic sentence and it is such an infrequently used strategy) Why can I give such good advice on love and such, but when it comes to myself, I can't do right? I mean, seriously. Ever since middle school, I have been in TLC and Natural Helpers... I have been a counselor for children who have been victims of neglect and poverty. I'm a friggin teacher! I help people LEARN! But alas, when it comes to helping myself, I might as well be a vegetable: I can't do anything.
I pose this question because of the conversation I just had with a friend of mine who was having issues with his relationship. I'm not gonna go all into his business, but all I'll say is, he was felt his 4 year relationship was loosing its spark and a new love interest was catching his eye... what was he to do? We talked, and I actually kinda frightened myself when it all came down to it. I didn't even have to think about what to say to him. I did have to censor myself from giving MY opinion and telling him whether he was right or wrong, but when it came to giving him encouragement and telling him wise decisions to do, it came so easily! The advice just flowed from my brain (and heart) to my fingers and I just typed it out. It was so good... I mean, seriously, so good... which is why I had to come write about it here directly after we got done discussing.
So, it's funny... even though I don't have these relationship problems or questions, and I don't have a relationship period, it makes me feel good. Kinda like I'm a little use to somebody. I'm not really exclusively special to any one person, but it felt good to know that my advice and me taking the time to care was greatly appreciated.
I guess if I can't have a relationship, I should at least help people keep theirs.
Monday, August 15, 2005
4th grade is of the meat rack
Oh yes it is.
Mr. Parks, Mr. Field, Ms. Hendry, and Ms. Jenkinson make up the fabulous fourth grade team at East North Street Academy of Mathematics and Science. Oh yes.
I was honestly really scared before I went in there. I had no clue what starting a real job was going to be like. My first day was absolutely incredible though.
The 4 of us in 4th grade click very well. Mr. Field is a good bit older than the rest of us, but he is really cool and easy to talk to. Amy and Melissa (the other 2) have both been teaching for 3 years, but they are very close to my age. We all have a good bit in common and all 4 of us like to cut up and carry on. I really think our group couldn't have congealed any better in a days time.
My room is looking even MORE put together now... yeah, I know you're like, "but Hamilton, it's already so absolutely amazing!" Well, imagine it being even more hella tight. I only spent $70 on it so far, so this afternoon, I went out and attempted to spend the rest of my $250 (have you any idea hoe much fun it is to spend money that isn't yours?). I can't wait to get the stuff I got today into the room. I really think it's going to be a really fun atmosphere. My principal and assistant principal came in and they were extremely impressed with my progress with such little time and resources. Ha. I'm so good.
Tomorrow is another workday. I'm REALLY looking forward to the rest of this week and the rest of this year. ENSA just seems like a really happy school. Everyone is SO positive and helpful...
...it reminds me of dear Code.
Mr. Parks, Mr. Field, Ms. Hendry, and Ms. Jenkinson make up the fabulous fourth grade team at East North Street Academy of Mathematics and Science. Oh yes.
I was honestly really scared before I went in there. I had no clue what starting a real job was going to be like. My first day was absolutely incredible though.
The 4 of us in 4th grade click very well. Mr. Field is a good bit older than the rest of us, but he is really cool and easy to talk to. Amy and Melissa (the other 2) have both been teaching for 3 years, but they are very close to my age. We all have a good bit in common and all 4 of us like to cut up and carry on. I really think our group couldn't have congealed any better in a days time.
My room is looking even MORE put together now... yeah, I know you're like, "but Hamilton, it's already so absolutely amazing!" Well, imagine it being even more hella tight. I only spent $70 on it so far, so this afternoon, I went out and attempted to spend the rest of my $250 (have you any idea hoe much fun it is to spend money that isn't yours?). I can't wait to get the stuff I got today into the room. I really think it's going to be a really fun atmosphere. My principal and assistant principal came in and they were extremely impressed with my progress with such little time and resources. Ha. I'm so good.
Tomorrow is another workday. I'm REALLY looking forward to the rest of this week and the rest of this year. ENSA just seems like a really happy school. Everyone is SO positive and helpful...
...it reminds me of dear Code.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
the tongue
So lately, church has been for real serious. I don't know whether it's me being grown up, or just the fact that Jesus is pickin' at me hard. My dad said something absolutely profound (he has been saying a lot of profound things lately, as he isn't preaching this month so any chance he gets to say anything, he lets it all out):
"Life and death is in the power of the tongue."
So very true... in so many ways.
See, I have been writing in my secret blog just about every night for the past few days... yeah, some serious stuff going on upstairs. I have actually been in a pretty lousy mood since my birthday. But, I haven't said anything in here, nor spoken any of it to anyone... frankly because I feel like all I ever do is whine in here, and I know that is not very becoming of me... and another thing is, if you talk like you are miserable, you'll be miserable. And honestly, I have always thought this way... I really have. It kinda goes along with Ham Rule #9: No Self-Proclaimed Crushes (see all the Ham Rules here). You speak it, then it comes into truth.
Another thing that was said at church was by my Sunday School teacher... he made the remarkable discovery that there is a cycle of depression... this is how it works...
You're depressed for whatever reason --> No one wants to hang around a depressed person --> You get even more depressed because no one wants to hang around you --> No one wants to hang around a depressed person --> etc.
How profound huh?
So seriously... If you live your life depressed, you'll basically remain that way... all because YOU have spoken it upon yourself.
And yes, it's easier said than done. I'm willing to admit that... Hence why I keep my secret blog... so I can keep my depressing thoughts to myself and not speak them into truth for the whole internet community (and triangle head girl... LOL).
Sorry to get all serious on y'all today...
...pass the collection plate. Church is now over.
"Life and death is in the power of the tongue."
So very true... in so many ways.
See, I have been writing in my secret blog just about every night for the past few days... yeah, some serious stuff going on upstairs. I have actually been in a pretty lousy mood since my birthday. But, I haven't said anything in here, nor spoken any of it to anyone... frankly because I feel like all I ever do is whine in here, and I know that is not very becoming of me... and another thing is, if you talk like you are miserable, you'll be miserable. And honestly, I have always thought this way... I really have. It kinda goes along with Ham Rule #9: No Self-Proclaimed Crushes (see all the Ham Rules here). You speak it, then it comes into truth.
Another thing that was said at church was by my Sunday School teacher... he made the remarkable discovery that there is a cycle of depression... this is how it works...
You're depressed for whatever reason --> No one wants to hang around a depressed person --> You get even more depressed because no one wants to hang around you --> No one wants to hang around a depressed person --> etc.
How profound huh?
So seriously... If you live your life depressed, you'll basically remain that way... all because YOU have spoken it upon yourself.
And yes, it's easier said than done. I'm willing to admit that... Hence why I keep my secret blog... so I can keep my depressing thoughts to myself and not speak them into truth for the whole internet community (and triangle head girl... LOL).
Sorry to get all serious on y'all today...
...pass the collection plate. Church is now over.
Friday, August 12, 2005
NIGHTMARE!
Omg. So I just woke up... and I was absolutely terrified by what just happened! I KNOW that I am nervous about school starting now... 'cause this dream just says it all.
Well, what I remember first was seeing Mrs. Hatton, my practicum teacher from Central Elementary somewhere out and about. She was telling me about how they needed another 5th grade teacher BADLY at Central. Apparently, it sparked my interest, EVEN THOUGH I have a job at East North Street Academy and I REALLY didn't like Central Elementary. For some reason in this dream though, I was all about some Central. As a matter of fact, Central Elementary was ACTUALLY in CODE Elementary's building... it basically was Code Elementary, only it was called Central. So weird. Anyway, I really do love Code... I had the time of my life there. So, since it was Code Elementary (only named Central) I decided not to tell anyone about me not showing up at ENSA, and just show up at Central (Code). So I got to Central and Mrs. Hatton was there and so excited to see me. I sat in her classroom that first morning before the students got there. She wasn't really telling me anything I needed to know... basically we were just "chewing the fat." I was starting to get really excited because my kids were going to be some of the same kids that I had the year before when I did my student teaching (and on another note, my student teaching--at CODE--was supervised by the fabulous Mrs. Sandra Stephens... and she was AMAZING--Code Elementary's Teacher of the Year 2005-2006, mind you--and I don't know WHY she was no where in this dream... probably because she is such a well put together woman and would not at all be involved in this mess). So when it got close to time for the bell to ring, I walked out of Mrs. Hatton's room (which was actually in the same spot that was Mrs. Stephens' room at Code) and say Ms. A, who taught acroos the hall. Her room (well, "spot" because there were no walls on that side of the hall... it was like that tragic Pelham Road school) was right next to mine... mine being Jennifer's room... I dunno where Jennifer was, epecially seeing how she IS the new 4th grade teacher at Code. I saw a lot of my kids that I had last year... Cheyenne, Kendra, Mikia, Antwan... and even Zana was supposed to be in my class. It felt so good to see them, but all of a sudden something came over me that told me, I really shouldn't have been there... that I REALLY should have been at ENSA... you know, where I was hired? So, I started looking for a way out. I didn't say anything to the kids, I just walked down the hall towards the door. Now, because of the whole no walls thing, the kids could see me walking down the hall towards the door. They were all yelling and asking where I was going. I couldn't dare explain to them what was really going on. So, when I got to the front doors, I wanted so badly to leave, but the kids were still watching me. So I remembered the side doors over past the office by the kindergarten classrooms. I started to walk there when I saw kids and parents waiting outside the front door. This is so vivid to me because this really happens at Code... see the doors are always locked and you have to get buzzed into the school, or someone has to be passing by the door at the right time to see you and let you in. Ironically, the doors are right outside the hallway to the 4th and 5th grade and it is slanted diagonally away. So I knew that if I went to open the far left door, the kids wouldn't see me and I could slip out while I opened the door for the people. So, I did... and I RAN out into the parking lot and skidded down rocks and this huge hill into an empty parking lot to find only my car... only Kyle was like this ugly hybrid of a Jeep Wrangler and a Volvo. He had the body of a Volvo, but the top of him was like a Wrangler with the top off. So I threw my stuff into the Jeep/Volvo and headed for ENSA... which apparently was only 10 minutes away (even though in real life, Code is a good hour away from ENSA). Then it hit me... I had nothing prepared for the first day of school, so even when I got there, my kids would have nothing to do...
...then I woke up.
Well, what I remember first was seeing Mrs. Hatton, my practicum teacher from Central Elementary somewhere out and about. She was telling me about how they needed another 5th grade teacher BADLY at Central. Apparently, it sparked my interest, EVEN THOUGH I have a job at East North Street Academy and I REALLY didn't like Central Elementary. For some reason in this dream though, I was all about some Central. As a matter of fact, Central Elementary was ACTUALLY in CODE Elementary's building... it basically was Code Elementary, only it was called Central. So weird. Anyway, I really do love Code... I had the time of my life there. So, since it was Code Elementary (only named Central) I decided not to tell anyone about me not showing up at ENSA, and just show up at Central (Code). So I got to Central and Mrs. Hatton was there and so excited to see me. I sat in her classroom that first morning before the students got there. She wasn't really telling me anything I needed to know... basically we were just "chewing the fat." I was starting to get really excited because my kids were going to be some of the same kids that I had the year before when I did my student teaching (and on another note, my student teaching--at CODE--was supervised by the fabulous Mrs. Sandra Stephens... and she was AMAZING--Code Elementary's Teacher of the Year 2005-2006, mind you--and I don't know WHY she was no where in this dream... probably because she is such a well put together woman and would not at all be involved in this mess). So when it got close to time for the bell to ring, I walked out of Mrs. Hatton's room (which was actually in the same spot that was Mrs. Stephens' room at Code) and say Ms. A, who taught acroos the hall. Her room (well, "spot" because there were no walls on that side of the hall... it was like that tragic Pelham Road school) was right next to mine... mine being Jennifer's room... I dunno where Jennifer was, epecially seeing how she IS the new 4th grade teacher at Code. I saw a lot of my kids that I had last year... Cheyenne, Kendra, Mikia, Antwan... and even Zana was supposed to be in my class. It felt so good to see them, but all of a sudden something came over me that told me, I really shouldn't have been there... that I REALLY should have been at ENSA... you know, where I was hired? So, I started looking for a way out. I didn't say anything to the kids, I just walked down the hall towards the door. Now, because of the whole no walls thing, the kids could see me walking down the hall towards the door. They were all yelling and asking where I was going. I couldn't dare explain to them what was really going on. So, when I got to the front doors, I wanted so badly to leave, but the kids were still watching me. So I remembered the side doors over past the office by the kindergarten classrooms. I started to walk there when I saw kids and parents waiting outside the front door. This is so vivid to me because this really happens at Code... see the doors are always locked and you have to get buzzed into the school, or someone has to be passing by the door at the right time to see you and let you in. Ironically, the doors are right outside the hallway to the 4th and 5th grade and it is slanted diagonally away. So I knew that if I went to open the far left door, the kids wouldn't see me and I could slip out while I opened the door for the people. So, I did... and I RAN out into the parking lot and skidded down rocks and this huge hill into an empty parking lot to find only my car... only Kyle was like this ugly hybrid of a Jeep Wrangler and a Volvo. He had the body of a Volvo, but the top of him was like a Wrangler with the top off. So I threw my stuff into the Jeep/Volvo and headed for ENSA... which apparently was only 10 minutes away (even though in real life, Code is a good hour away from ENSA). Then it hit me... I had nothing prepared for the first day of school, so even when I got there, my kids would have nothing to do...
...then I woke up.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
i love anna manning
Anna said the sweetest thing today. She probably doesn't even realize that what she said would touch me so much, but it definitely has. This is the message she left me today:
That line in bold is what did it for me... I remember SO clearly looking in my yearbook from the previous year on the days before school started PRAYING that I would get the cool teacher. I really really really hope that I will be that teacher.
Thanks, Anna! I love you bunches!
but hamilton!!! it's YOUR=the most fabulously amazing person I know's
BIRTHDAY!!! it's time to celebrate!!! (especially since practically everyone's
birthday is in August....there's something about december apparently) and
remember when we were in elementary school and we wished and wished to get the cool teacher...that's sooooo you!!!
That line in bold is what did it for me... I remember SO clearly looking in my yearbook from the previous year on the days before school started PRAYING that I would get the cool teacher. I really really really hope that I will be that teacher.
Thanks, Anna! I love you bunches!
thanks so much, guys!
Thanks so much to:
Jeremy, Erin Dodd, Andrea Pickens, Patrick, Jenee, Bob, Darius, Nick, Greg, Erin Daniel, Chris Mims, Katy Mostertz, Rachel, Aaron, Ashley Pike, Renata, Adena, Chasza, Betsy, Tighe, Laura Foxworth, Omar, Steven, Jeffrey, Amy, Sammie, Jen Antley, Christina, Matt Dabney, Justin Williams, Shavonne, Andrea Robillard, Kristen Rozier, Nicole Buzzell, Tex, Missy, Hoke, Rebecca, Anna, Erin, Shannon, Sarah Poole, Tierra, Kiki, Kate, Kelly Holliday, Mishelle, Cory Smickey, Molly, Emily, Tarik, Beth, and Jason Friday.
You guys are EXCELLENT and so thoughtful to send me birthday wishes today. Even though I'm pretty far away from most of y'all, it really makes me feel pretty close to have been on your minds today. Y'all are some of the most awesome friends ever!
I'm sure I'll write more later... Thanks again, y'all!
Jeremy, Erin Dodd, Andrea Pickens, Patrick, Jenee, Bob, Darius, Nick, Greg, Erin Daniel, Chris Mims, Katy Mostertz, Rachel, Aaron, Ashley Pike, Renata, Adena, Chasza, Betsy, Tighe, Laura Foxworth, Omar, Steven, Jeffrey, Amy, Sammie, Jen Antley, Christina, Matt Dabney, Justin Williams, Shavonne, Andrea Robillard, Kristen Rozier, Nicole Buzzell, Tex, Missy, Hoke, Rebecca, Anna, Erin, Shannon, Sarah Poole, Tierra, Kiki, Kate, Kelly Holliday, Mishelle, Cory Smickey, Molly, Emily, Tarik, Beth, and Jason Friday.
You guys are EXCELLENT and so thoughtful to send me birthday wishes today. Even though I'm pretty far away from most of y'all, it really makes me feel pretty close to have been on your minds today. Y'all are some of the most awesome friends ever!
I'm sure I'll write more later... Thanks again, y'all!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
sick of my arm
This hole in my arm is really frustrating me. I mean, it really isn't too bad. Frankly, it's not bad at all. It could be SO much worse. And it's not really a hole in my arm. I know just seeing that probably has some of you wondering what the hell is wrong with Hamilton's arm. It's just the site of my operation. It's all stitched up and covered up with a bandage, but it hurts... not tons all the time, but every once in a while, I just want to go piss a rottweiler off so it will bit my whole arm off... sweet relief, huh?
Anyway, this dumb thing has basically had me in the house from Monday until today. I finally left the house, but when I did, my mom was all worried about me the whole time I was gone. I really feel like I can't do anything right now. Whatever happened to me being grown and coming and going when I want... oh wait, that was when I was grown and not handicapped... duh.
Anyway, to top it all off, I'm gonna have this stupid thing bothering me all day on my birthday. Happy friggin' birthday to me.
This is NOT fun. But hopefully you can tell from the voice of this entry that I am more annoyed than angry. It doesn't have me doubled over in pain... it just has me frustrated. Plus I look really stupid when I eat, 'cause I can't bend my right arm, so I either eat clumsily with my left hand or attempt to eat with my right hand by sitting far away from the table. bending my wrist so that my hand points as far towards my face as possible, then push my head out as far as I can to reach the food. Yeah, Patrick laughed at me tonight... and Sammie kept grabbing my arm... and Jess Hall kept feeling my "thrill" (that's the blood rushing through the little tube in my arm that you can actually feel).
I'm an alien freak of nature. Rawr.
Anyway, this dumb thing has basically had me in the house from Monday until today. I finally left the house, but when I did, my mom was all worried about me the whole time I was gone. I really feel like I can't do anything right now. Whatever happened to me being grown and coming and going when I want... oh wait, that was when I was grown and not handicapped... duh.
Anyway, to top it all off, I'm gonna have this stupid thing bothering me all day on my birthday. Happy friggin' birthday to me.
This is NOT fun. But hopefully you can tell from the voice of this entry that I am more annoyed than angry. It doesn't have me doubled over in pain... it just has me frustrated. Plus I look really stupid when I eat, 'cause I can't bend my right arm, so I either eat clumsily with my left hand or attempt to eat with my right hand by sitting far away from the table. bending my wrist so that my hand points as far towards my face as possible, then push my head out as far as I can to reach the food. Yeah, Patrick laughed at me tonight... and Sammie kept grabbing my arm... and Jess Hall kept feeling my "thrill" (that's the blood rushing through the little tube in my arm that you can actually feel).
I'm an alien freak of nature. Rawr.
Monday, August 08, 2005
funny... yet painful
So surprise... I had surgery today. I had this fistula thing put in my arm.
The surgery wasn't bad at all... I was even awake while they proceeded to slice my arm open and dig around in there. Oh yeah, lots of fun. It didn't hurt though... until I got home... and the anesthesia started to wear off. I was lightheaded, nauseous, AND felt like my arm was going to explode. But, the funny part about all of this is that my chondroclamacia in my knees decided to run away... I guess there's only room for so much pain in my body.
Anyway, this makes me stuck here in the house for the next couple days. One sheet I got at dismissal today said I'd be able to drive in 24 hours, which will be at around noon tomorrow... but that mean man that cut my arm open told my mom I shouldn't drive until Thursday! BOO! That sucks, 'cause Jenee's 21st is Wednesday... and besides the fact that it's her birthday, I am having super huge Clemson withdrawl (love you, Jenee... lol).
Whatever... as soon as this pain subsides, I'm going to resume my active almost 22 lifestyle.
Another funny thing about this whole surgery is that from now on, I can't lift really heavy things with my right arm... so, when I move into the townhouse in 25 days, I won't be able to lift anything... oh, the life. LOL.
That's what I told Hoke over AIM just a minute ago. I've been trying to explain it to people, but that is the best I've done since I found out I had to have this thing. This does not mean that I am going on dialysis though. This was a "just-in-case" procedure.it's this thing that they put in kidney failure patients that connects an artery
to a vein so in case dialysis is needed, they can filter blood
The surgery wasn't bad at all... I was even awake while they proceeded to slice my arm open and dig around in there. Oh yeah, lots of fun. It didn't hurt though... until I got home... and the anesthesia started to wear off. I was lightheaded, nauseous, AND felt like my arm was going to explode. But, the funny part about all of this is that my chondroclamacia in my knees decided to run away... I guess there's only room for so much pain in my body.
Anyway, this makes me stuck here in the house for the next couple days. One sheet I got at dismissal today said I'd be able to drive in 24 hours, which will be at around noon tomorrow... but that mean man that cut my arm open told my mom I shouldn't drive until Thursday! BOO! That sucks, 'cause Jenee's 21st is Wednesday... and besides the fact that it's her birthday, I am having super huge Clemson withdrawl (love you, Jenee... lol).
Whatever... as soon as this pain subsides, I'm going to resume my active almost 22 lifestyle.
Another funny thing about this whole surgery is that from now on, I can't lift really heavy things with my right arm... so, when I move into the townhouse in 25 days, I won't be able to lift anything... oh, the life. LOL.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
this won't make any sense
Last night, after going out with my AWESOME friend Steven from EHS, I wrote in my secret blog... so you know if you DON'T know, then it was serious stuff. I only put things I'm incessantly angry or sad about in my secret blog. I have to keep the viewing public thinking that all is well in the Kingdom of Congruence.
Anyway, church today was absolutely incredible. I'm surprised I didn't get emotional at all... usually the week of a big milestone in my life I am usually really humbled at church especially. I get overcome with a lot of emotion when I think about how blessed I am. This week, it's because of my upcoming 22nd birthday. The waterworks didn't come today (omg, you should have seen me when I graduated from high school).
Today, however, from Sunday school, to the message (delivered by the chairman of our deacon board AKA my school principal/boss) was great... and perfect for me.
In Sunday school (I'm in the single's class now... I hated it, but today was great), we talked about envy... and how it is whenever you desire something that you feel is valuable that someone else has that you don't have. We had this 10 question quiz that asked us to mark 1 to 5 about whether we desired things we didn't have or other people had... I swear that I had a 4 or 5 down for just about everything. My score ended up stating: You suffer from envy. I don't deny it. I think I do. I am always looking at someone else thinking, "Wow, I wish I had a relationship like that," or "I wish I looked like that," or "Everyone else has it easier/better than I do."
I need to learn to get over that... with the quickness. If I ever want to be able to enjoy MY life to the fullest, I have to learn to appreciate what I have and learn to wait on those other things that I want or desire.
Then my dad said something really profound... "If you are looking for a man or a woman, you should stop, because what you find might not be what God has intended for you." Ugh... as well as he put it, it is exactly what I hear all the time... and what Erin says all the time: "Once you stop looking, that's when it happens." Yay. Thanks, God, for being like that... I think that bites. So frustrating... but once again, it's what I have to make myself do.
Oh, the eye-openings of attending church...
Anyway, church today was absolutely incredible. I'm surprised I didn't get emotional at all... usually the week of a big milestone in my life I am usually really humbled at church especially. I get overcome with a lot of emotion when I think about how blessed I am. This week, it's because of my upcoming 22nd birthday. The waterworks didn't come today (omg, you should have seen me when I graduated from high school).
Today, however, from Sunday school, to the message (delivered by the chairman of our deacon board AKA my school principal/boss) was great... and perfect for me.
In Sunday school (I'm in the single's class now... I hated it, but today was great), we talked about envy... and how it is whenever you desire something that you feel is valuable that someone else has that you don't have. We had this 10 question quiz that asked us to mark 1 to 5 about whether we desired things we didn't have or other people had... I swear that I had a 4 or 5 down for just about everything. My score ended up stating: You suffer from envy. I don't deny it. I think I do. I am always looking at someone else thinking, "Wow, I wish I had a relationship like that," or "I wish I looked like that," or "Everyone else has it easier/better than I do."
I need to learn to get over that... with the quickness. If I ever want to be able to enjoy MY life to the fullest, I have to learn to appreciate what I have and learn to wait on those other things that I want or desire.
Then my dad said something really profound... "If you are looking for a man or a woman, you should stop, because what you find might not be what God has intended for you." Ugh... as well as he put it, it is exactly what I hear all the time... and what Erin says all the time: "Once you stop looking, that's when it happens." Yay. Thanks, God, for being like that... I think that bites. So frustrating... but once again, it's what I have to make myself do.
Oh, the eye-openings of attending church...
Saturday, August 06, 2005
cold
It describes so much right now. So, so very much.
First of all, it's cold in this house. This house that I am taking up residence in for another 4 weeks. It really isn't that bad here. I can come and go as I want, my parents aren't being unreasonable... in fact, right about now, no one has been here for the past 8 hours... but in all reality, that sucks.
Yeah, I am having withdrawl from people. I wasn going to go to Charleston with Kate and Deni, but I came home because my dad went to the hospital last night. It's ok, he's fine. But a HUGE thanks to Kate and Deni for being so understanding and to Kelly and Robbie for driving me back. Kate truly is my best friend, and Kelly and Robbie are honestly some of the most humble, giving, and compassionate brothers in my fraternity. I am so grateful.
Anyway, I haven't done anything fun AT ALL since I have been back. I am really starting to get depressed. I can feel dementors honing in on this house... "like, I'll never be happy again!" And you know what? I really don't know if I will. I don't know anyone here in this big city besides Kate and Deni. Everyone else is so much older... so much more grown... so much more settled. It doesn't matter that I am a college grad with a house and a job... everyone is still more grown.
How does a person like me, who loves life and loves being active and being around people settle into such a grown up city and develop a grown-up frame of mind. No matter how hard I try, I can't find fun in staying at home by myself watching TV. I just can't. I have to be out... somewhere. Things can't be NORMAL for me. Even in my classroom, things are going to have to be different... against the flow of things. Expect lots of music and dancing and singing... you can't learn, much less LIVE without movement and music.
I just don't get it. Right now, I'm sitting in this cold house with nothing to do... no one really to call on to do anything... nothing to do but write.
...and now I'm done.
Boo for this.
First of all, it's cold in this house. This house that I am taking up residence in for another 4 weeks. It really isn't that bad here. I can come and go as I want, my parents aren't being unreasonable... in fact, right about now, no one has been here for the past 8 hours... but in all reality, that sucks.
Yeah, I am having withdrawl from people. I wasn going to go to Charleston with Kate and Deni, but I came home because my dad went to the hospital last night. It's ok, he's fine. But a HUGE thanks to Kate and Deni for being so understanding and to Kelly and Robbie for driving me back. Kate truly is my best friend, and Kelly and Robbie are honestly some of the most humble, giving, and compassionate brothers in my fraternity. I am so grateful.
Anyway, I haven't done anything fun AT ALL since I have been back. I am really starting to get depressed. I can feel dementors honing in on this house... "like, I'll never be happy again!" And you know what? I really don't know if I will. I don't know anyone here in this big city besides Kate and Deni. Everyone else is so much older... so much more grown... so much more settled. It doesn't matter that I am a college grad with a house and a job... everyone is still more grown.
How does a person like me, who loves life and loves being active and being around people settle into such a grown up city and develop a grown-up frame of mind. No matter how hard I try, I can't find fun in staying at home by myself watching TV. I just can't. I have to be out... somewhere. Things can't be NORMAL for me. Even in my classroom, things are going to have to be different... against the flow of things. Expect lots of music and dancing and singing... you can't learn, much less LIVE without movement and music.
I just don't get it. Right now, I'm sitting in this cold house with nothing to do... no one really to call on to do anything... nothing to do but write.
...and now I'm done.
Boo for this.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
a sonnet of love for jack in the box
Oh, Jack In The Box
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways?
Ultimate Cheeseburger, Jumbo Jack
Who am I kidding?
None of your burgers are whack!
Juicy and plump, hot and so good
It must be a sin
To devour such food!
The fries are so crispy, golden, and brown
Whether curly or straight
They're the best around.
And then there's more, 'cause you know what?
They don't have to advertise
With that Paris Hilton slut!
Just a big headed clown man, with pointy, cute hat
And lips that don't move
You just can't beat that.
So here's to my sweet, love so delicious
With every mouthwatering bite,
You fulfill my tastebud's wishes!
By King Congruence, 08.05.05
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways?
Ultimate Cheeseburger, Jumbo Jack
Who am I kidding?
None of your burgers are whack!
Juicy and plump, hot and so good
It must be a sin
To devour such food!
The fries are so crispy, golden, and brown
Whether curly or straight
They're the best around.
And then there's more, 'cause you know what?
They don't have to advertise
With that Paris Hilton slut!
Just a big headed clown man, with pointy, cute hat
And lips that don't move
You just can't beat that.
So here's to my sweet, love so delicious
With every mouthwatering bite,
You fulfill my tastebud's wishes!
By King Congruence, 08.05.05
chondroclamacia
Fun word, huh? Definitely not a 4th grade word wall word.
I think I have this though. It's apparently a condition where cartilage under the kneecap is weakened due to overexertion. I'll be the first to admit that I am pretty lazy, but recently, I do think that I have been on my feet a lot more.
My knees started hurting on Monday morning... after I moved everything out of my apartment and dorm and back into my parents' house. Also, this was after I spent close to 4 hours on my feet at Ben Folds on Saturday night.
So, my knees hurt... only when walking up and down stairs and slopes though... normally they are okay. But, it just so happens that my classroom is at the top of a huge flight of stairs and the hallway leading to the fourth and fifth grade halls is one huge ramp downward. I really hope this thing gets better.
As for my classroom, it is really coming together. The "Strive for the Highest" theme is SO awesome (I bet KB thought I was kidding when I said I was gonna use it). Everything is stars and planets and not to toot my own horn, but I definitely think it is the best looking classroom on the hall. The only thing that bothers me is the brown D'Nelian handwriting banner that I have across the front of the room. You know me, I did not pick out anything BROWN to put up in my room. One of the other 4th grade teachers gave it to me since she had 2... she DEFINITELY gave me the uglier of the two. But, it was free and I don't have tons of money to spend.
The teacher is the same one that I visited in May after I signed at ENSA. She seems really nice and helpful. She and one other teacher, a male, are returning. There is one other new teacher along with me, although she is not COMPLETELY new to teaching. She seemed nice too. Both very nice, but unfortunately, I don't see us being friends outside of school. I was really looking forward to it. Both the girls are fairly young, this being their 4th year teaching. I feel REALLY young around them though... around everyone. I think I am the youngest person at the school. I am still only 21. On top of that, I'm a male. And there aren't many of us. The guy who is next door (ironic that the only male academic teachers are right next door to each other), is a good bit older, so I dunno how cool he's gonna be. I hear there's a new male art teacher too though, but he's the art teacher... I won't be working with him too much.
Who knows. I am probably counting my eggs before they hatch. I am a little disappointed though, just being thrown from camp where my co-workers were my friends, to ENSA, where my co-workers are just that... co-workers.
Whatev... at least my room is hella tight.
I think I have this though. It's apparently a condition where cartilage under the kneecap is weakened due to overexertion. I'll be the first to admit that I am pretty lazy, but recently, I do think that I have been on my feet a lot more.
My knees started hurting on Monday morning... after I moved everything out of my apartment and dorm and back into my parents' house. Also, this was after I spent close to 4 hours on my feet at Ben Folds on Saturday night.
So, my knees hurt... only when walking up and down stairs and slopes though... normally they are okay. But, it just so happens that my classroom is at the top of a huge flight of stairs and the hallway leading to the fourth and fifth grade halls is one huge ramp downward. I really hope this thing gets better.
As for my classroom, it is really coming together. The "Strive for the Highest" theme is SO awesome (I bet KB thought I was kidding when I said I was gonna use it). Everything is stars and planets and not to toot my own horn, but I definitely think it is the best looking classroom on the hall. The only thing that bothers me is the brown D'Nelian handwriting banner that I have across the front of the room. You know me, I did not pick out anything BROWN to put up in my room. One of the other 4th grade teachers gave it to me since she had 2... she DEFINITELY gave me the uglier of the two. But, it was free and I don't have tons of money to spend.
The teacher is the same one that I visited in May after I signed at ENSA. She seems really nice and helpful. She and one other teacher, a male, are returning. There is one other new teacher along with me, although she is not COMPLETELY new to teaching. She seemed nice too. Both very nice, but unfortunately, I don't see us being friends outside of school. I was really looking forward to it. Both the girls are fairly young, this being their 4th year teaching. I feel REALLY young around them though... around everyone. I think I am the youngest person at the school. I am still only 21. On top of that, I'm a male. And there aren't many of us. The guy who is next door (ironic that the only male academic teachers are right next door to each other), is a good bit older, so I dunno how cool he's gonna be. I hear there's a new male art teacher too though, but he's the art teacher... I won't be working with him too much.
Who knows. I am probably counting my eggs before they hatch. I am a little disappointed though, just being thrown from camp where my co-workers were my friends, to ENSA, where my co-workers are just that... co-workers.
Whatev... at least my room is hella tight.
Monday, August 01, 2005
boo on hardee's
Well, I successfully blasted McDonalds a while back, but today, I am going to roast Hardee's.
Boo on you, Hardee's. Not for your food, or for the fact that you are a restaurant with an insane identity crisis (first you were burgers, then you were chicken, then you were breakfast, once again you are burgers), but boo on your marketing schemes. I HATE them.
First of all, it upsets me that the only way you can get people to eat your food is by sex appeal. Put that skamp Paris Hilton on TV in almost nothing eating a burger... ooh yeah... now it looks yummy. Boo on that. Unless you are selling a night with Paris Hilton as a gift with purchase for your overgrown mondo sized heart attack on a bun, then you need to have the normal burger eating man on TV advertising your sandwich: a big fat lard ass 40 something year old sitting in a singlewide on cinder blocks in front of a black and white 16 inch TV sitting on a busted floor model TV in Mountain Rest, SC. Yeah. Boo.
Secondly, why are your burgers so big?! I mean, I guess that is what your big selling point is... big burgers... advertised by big brested hobitches. Yeah. Seriously though... half of your Monster (oh my gawd, I'm so scared!) Thickburger is one person's daily value of calories. You are seriously going to be the death of the redneck population. How do you feel about that?
Thirdly (and the reason why I am writing this tirade), when you get done flashing half nekkid women in your advertisements, the big grande burger plops down in front of the viewer. Yeah, it's what you see on TV. But I was checking my Yahoo! mail, and lo and behold, a Spicy BBQ Thickburger plops down on my computer screen. Just the image of that big heff of a burger plopping on top of my inbox was enough to really set me off.
Oh, Hardee's. Please do better.
But don't get me wrong... you are delicious. LOL.
Boo on you, Hardee's. Not for your food, or for the fact that you are a restaurant with an insane identity crisis (first you were burgers, then you were chicken, then you were breakfast, once again you are burgers), but boo on your marketing schemes. I HATE them.
First of all, it upsets me that the only way you can get people to eat your food is by sex appeal. Put that skamp Paris Hilton on TV in almost nothing eating a burger... ooh yeah... now it looks yummy. Boo on that. Unless you are selling a night with Paris Hilton as a gift with purchase for your overgrown mondo sized heart attack on a bun, then you need to have the normal burger eating man on TV advertising your sandwich: a big fat lard ass 40 something year old sitting in a singlewide on cinder blocks in front of a black and white 16 inch TV sitting on a busted floor model TV in Mountain Rest, SC. Yeah. Boo.
Secondly, why are your burgers so big?! I mean, I guess that is what your big selling point is... big burgers... advertised by big brested hobitches. Yeah. Seriously though... half of your Monster (oh my gawd, I'm so scared!) Thickburger is one person's daily value of calories. You are seriously going to be the death of the redneck population. How do you feel about that?
Thirdly (and the reason why I am writing this tirade), when you get done flashing half nekkid women in your advertisements, the big grande burger plops down in front of the viewer. Yeah, it's what you see on TV. But I was checking my Yahoo! mail, and lo and behold, a Spicy BBQ Thickburger plops down on my computer screen. Just the image of that big heff of a burger plopping on top of my inbox was enough to really set me off.
Oh, Hardee's. Please do better.
But don't get me wrong... you are delicious. LOL.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
ben folds and being at home
Well, I am officially out of Clemson. It feels really weird.
Camp is over. I'm out of 101 A. I'm out of Manning Hall. I don't have a residence in Clemson any longer. It really is an insanely weird feeling. I am seriously HOME, you know? I haven't really called my house here in Greer home since high school, but for the next month it is. Thankfully, it is only home for this month, because just for being home these past few hours, I can tell this is going to get very old very fast.
Enough of that... 'cause I don't want to get all emotional about missing Clemson right yet either.
But, BEN FOLDS WAS SO INCREDIBLY AMAZING! I mean seriously. He played so many awesome songs and rocked out just like I expected. He played several songs I didn't know, but of the ones that I did know were "Gone," "Still Fighting It," "Not the Same" (SO AWESOME!), "Brick," "Philosophy," "Army" (and it was f-ing GREAT!), "Rocking the Suburbs," and "One Angry Dwarf and 2000 Solemn Faces." He is so incredibly talented it is unreal. In one song, he was singing, playing the piano, AND playing a maraca all at the same time. UGH! He is so great. Plus, his lyrics are so intense. Yeah, some of them are hella controversial and insanely vulgar, but they are so real... all about life.
This was a great weekend... a great end of college. Moving out of the apartment and the dorm (and I got EVERYTHING out of my dorm in ONE trip... I could ONLY see out of the driver's side window and the driver's side dash... Kyle was SO full)... road tripping to ATL with Karen and Patrick... and now at home...
...home.
Camp is over. I'm out of 101 A. I'm out of Manning Hall. I don't have a residence in Clemson any longer. It really is an insanely weird feeling. I am seriously HOME, you know? I haven't really called my house here in Greer home since high school, but for the next month it is. Thankfully, it is only home for this month, because just for being home these past few hours, I can tell this is going to get very old very fast.
Enough of that... 'cause I don't want to get all emotional about missing Clemson right yet either.
But, BEN FOLDS WAS SO INCREDIBLY AMAZING! I mean seriously. He played so many awesome songs and rocked out just like I expected. He played several songs I didn't know, but of the ones that I did know were "Gone," "Still Fighting It," "Not the Same" (SO AWESOME!), "Brick," "Philosophy," "Army" (and it was f-ing GREAT!), "Rocking the Suburbs," and "One Angry Dwarf and 2000 Solemn Faces." He is so incredibly talented it is unreal. In one song, he was singing, playing the piano, AND playing a maraca all at the same time. UGH! He is so great. Plus, his lyrics are so intense. Yeah, some of them are hella controversial and insanely vulgar, but they are so real... all about life.
This was a great weekend... a great end of college. Moving out of the apartment and the dorm (and I got EVERYTHING out of my dorm in ONE trip... I could ONLY see out of the driver's side window and the driver's side dash... Kyle was SO full)... road tripping to ATL with Karen and Patrick... and now at home...
...home.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
sprinklers
I just got back from playing in the sprinklers on the intramural fields. Hoke, Laura, and I were driving to the motorpool to pick up vans (to drive the kids around in because it is way too hot to be walking around outside), when I noticed the sprinklers on. The first thing that came to my mind was running out there in all my clothes in order to cool off. So I suggested it. Laura had this look on her face like, "Hmm, that sure is crazy, but it might be fun." Hoke seemed completely against the whole thing. I really wanted to do it, but I knew that I wasn't going to do it without at least one of them.
So, turns out that we all went out there. Three of us... big rusty college kids, playing in automatic sprinklers in all of our clothes.
It made me think... is it okay for me to still be doing stuff like that? I mean, I am about to be a grown up. I am buying a house. I have a real job. Is it okay for me to still be that crazy and spontaneous? I feel like with growing up, you have to lose that childish side of yourself. I mean, in all seriousness, I don't think that I'm much of an adult... except in years. I still watch Nickelodeon, I don't make my bed everyday, I would much rather be out in the street than sititng at home, the background on my computer is from the forthcoming Harry Potter movie. How many 4th grade teachers are out there that are like me?
I feel like because of my job and new financial responsibilities, a certain amount of sophistication is required. I mean, that's how I FEEL. Does that mean that I am going to change a lot about me? Heck no. As far as I'm concerned, I can be me and be an exciting and effective teacher. Seriously, my spontinaity and active lifestyle should have no bearing on my career. I feel like Kalani is someone who can definitely juggle the awesome responsibility of being a self sufficient educator and an incredibly fun and outgoing young adult. I have always respected that about her and secretly hoped that I could come to that level of sophistication myself. It seems as if it makes her even more sophisticated in a way...
At any rate, playing in the sprinklers was fun... and even if I am not going to dramatically change and become a boring old fart once camp is over, it served as a good "final" act of spontinaity.
So, turns out that we all went out there. Three of us... big rusty college kids, playing in automatic sprinklers in all of our clothes.
It made me think... is it okay for me to still be doing stuff like that? I mean, I am about to be a grown up. I am buying a house. I have a real job. Is it okay for me to still be that crazy and spontaneous? I feel like with growing up, you have to lose that childish side of yourself. I mean, in all seriousness, I don't think that I'm much of an adult... except in years. I still watch Nickelodeon, I don't make my bed everyday, I would much rather be out in the street than sititng at home, the background on my computer is from the forthcoming Harry Potter movie. How many 4th grade teachers are out there that are like me?
I feel like because of my job and new financial responsibilities, a certain amount of sophistication is required. I mean, that's how I FEEL. Does that mean that I am going to change a lot about me? Heck no. As far as I'm concerned, I can be me and be an exciting and effective teacher. Seriously, my spontinaity and active lifestyle should have no bearing on my career. I feel like Kalani is someone who can definitely juggle the awesome responsibility of being a self sufficient educator and an incredibly fun and outgoing young adult. I have always respected that about her and secretly hoped that I could come to that level of sophistication myself. It seems as if it makes her even more sophisticated in a way...
At any rate, playing in the sprinklers was fun... and even if I am not going to dramatically change and become a boring old fart once camp is over, it served as a good "final" act of spontinaity.
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