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I worked with my little drum majors to be today. It is funny how inspiring those younger than me are. They are only 16, but it's still young enough to provide a little different insight on things. Seth and Audrey are both working very hard... They kind of remind me about how I was when I was trying out for drum major. They work so hard, and they both want it so badly... one thing different about us though, is the fact that they are so inhibited... it's okay. I'm not bashing them via weblog, I have told them this. Anyway, they are so stiff and rigid. I'm having a little trouble teaching them because, strangely enough, it comes pretty naturally to me. I don't mean to brag (for heaven's sake, I'm not that ballsy), but I'm not real inhibited when I'm conducting. I mean, a lot of that is owed to Kate and Jennie, and even Rebecca Poe for all mentoring me at one time... but for the most part, I got the whole conducting thing pretty easily... I mean, I think I have it pretty well... feel free and tell me if I suck or something so I don't continue writing false statements in here.

Anyway, I really want them to feel the music... I want them to get fierce and angry when they hear "El Toro." I want them to get solemn and reflective when they hear "Maria." I want them to get peppy when we do marches. I want them to feel the music. This did take me some time to understand. Kate is the one that really got me to do this. I remember our first few practices last year... I had this halfway smirky grin thing on my face the whole time... I thought Kate looked so funny... and she wanted me to do what she was doing?! HA! Not that I couldn't do it, but more because I didn't want to look spastic. Somewhere between those first practices and this past band season I realized that "getting into it" wasn't goofy... it was and IS music. Never was this made more clear to me than the Friday before we first marched my show...

Dr. Spede said that we had been having a mediocre B- practice all day, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I knew everyone was tired... we had just gotten done with the terrific World Tour show, had JUST learned the drill to the EWF show, and it was getting late in the afternoon. People were ready for the weekend. During a water break, I went up to Kate and I told her... I felt it was my fault. I was just like everyone else that was so tired and didn't want to be there anymore. I was tired of trying so hard to do everything perfectly. I wanted to have fun. Then she told me... HAVE FUN! No one else was having fun, so if I was up there on that podium looking like I was having fun, then they would have fun, and of course everyone wants to have fun in the best way possible, right? So, I did. It was amazing... almost like something off of an afterschool TV special... It was SO much better. Dr. Spede said that that run through was the best yet. I had fun, I moved around a little bit, I "hit that spot." Haha.

Then, it happened again... but this time, even moreso than before. It was on the bowl trip. For the game, we were going to play "El Toro" and "Johnny One Note." So, Kate and Lindsey had their respective songs... and Jennie got pregame... I dunno why she did now... I wasn't upset or anything, but she got it... I was cool with it. But what I wasn't cool with was how idle I was! OMG... that trip. The practices were SO BORING. We ran through "El Toro..." Kate got up and conducted. We ran through "Johnny One Note..." Lindsey conducted. We ran through pregame... Jennie conducted. And Hamilton got a cramp in his neck while turning and watching whoever was on the middle podium. And when we weren't on the ladders, I was over with the clarinets, field teching... lemme tell you... THAT'S THE BEST! Especially when everyone knows their spot like the back of their hand because they marched it so much AND because they don't really do anything but march back and forth (sarcasm noted). Anyway, I have NEVER felt so useless in band. I wanted to ask Spede if I could pick up a tuba and march so I could have something to do. Well, I couldn't wait for the pep rally... 'cause I knew that I would get to conduct and have a little fun... so when the time came, I showed out. LOL. I shocked myself. All that pent up conducting that had been boiling inside of me for so long... was released in the form of "Let's Go." It was amazing. Tiger Band did an INCREDIBLE job... and it was the coolest feeling I ever had... all 180 however many people confined in an itty bitty space in front of me giving me all they had... Wow. What a rush. To be able to help get it out of them... an awesome feeling. I felt like I was doing something... and I was doing it well.

So (woah... HUGE digression)... I want Audrey and Seth to FEEL the music. FEEL the music. FEEL the music. I want them to appreciate it for everything that it is... everything that it invokes. Music is a language. It is an awesome thing to be able to speak that language.