this entry is dedicated to my brother, patrick

Patrick... well. He became a brother on March 28, 2003. And he gave up his active status tonight, February 29, 2004. Not even a year. But, he did what he felt was best for him. In his actions, I have been forced to look at KB in a different light.

First, let me explain. My blog is not a place to rant and rave about the latest occurrences in Clemson's Kappa Kappa Psi chapter. If that is what you are looking for, this might be a better blog for your reading pleasure. But, I will tell you that this event has really made me think.

My chapter, Kappa Beta, is full of brothers that I love and enjoy being around. But, Patrick and his little brother, who is no longer in the process, are probably my 2 best friends... we do almost everything together... we are even planning on living together next year. Well, with first Nick gone and now Patrick, I am the only one out of our trio that remains "offillimus" (a new Greek word that means "affiliated" that I learned this weekend) to the fraternity. As much as the social aspect is important (I'm the freakin' social chair), it pained me to see that I was so caught up in what my friends were doing when it came to the fraternity. The fraternity is about service to the bands... not service to Hamilton's social life. So, as much as it would be fun for Patrick, Nick, and I to all be "offilimus" together, it isn't necessary for me to have a worthwhile experience in KKPsi. Besides the fact that I do have other great friends (including my great little brothers Missy and Bryn), there is so much more to gain... that's not a headache... Believe it or not, I'm kinda getting one right now trying to write this entry... It's hard to talk about.

I mean, I LOVE my fraternity so much... everything we stand for. It is exactly what I believe. EXACTLY. And after learning immense amounts of secrets about one of Panhellenic's dear sweet national sororities this weekend, it makes me thankful that what we stand for is so wholesome and uplifting! But yeah, I love my fraternity. And the opportunity it gives me to make a difference in the band program at Clemson. I'd be a fool to give it all up because a few friends aren't in it... I'd be looking way past what the fraternity stands for...

...and on that note, it doesn't stand for self-righteousness... Random and way out from left field, I know, but I can't help but think that some of my psi brothers are a little too high and mighty, and holier than thou. I may be wrong, but even in the midst of all that crazy ish I learned about that crazy "women's fraternity" there was nothing like "We believe that the sisters of this fraternity are better than everyone, including every other sorority and women's fraternity. Most importantly, each sister is better than every other." LOL. But in that sorority, I guess the people dropping the initiates into the coffin are a little better than the ones going into the coffin. I can't imagine anyone going INTO a coffin being better off than anyone out of one...

ANYWAY, I digress. I feel as if I have done nothing but rambled tonight. Recap:

1. I love my friends Patrick and Nick.
2. I love my fraternity, Kappa Kappa Psi.
3. I will not let the lack of my two friends in the fraternity change the way I view my fraternity.
4. Our fraternity is way better than that sorority that drops people into coffins.