psycho crazed suicidal nympho maniac

So I have just been brought into the light of what a disturbing journal entry sounds like... and I'd like to apologize for my last couple entries... I don't know who the hell I'm apologizing to... I mean, I don't know who reads this anymore since I don't have a link to it in my profile and I don't write as much. All that's gonna change though. Freshman year my journal used to be a place for simple little whiny entries about my lack of a love life, and I'll be damned if 3 years later I haven't progressed to writing anything more exciting. I do want to say that my sappy, whiny writing is thoughtful and worthwhile though... I have a friend who seriously feels like they are the shit and they are just so mean to EVERYONE... they have this attitude like, "I'm a bitch and I know it... and whether you like me or not, I'm way totally cool." Ha. I am nowhere near that arrogant, but I would like to say, "My blog is the shit and I know it... and whether you like it or not, it's better than yours... if you even have the competence to keep one up." LOL.

Seriously though... this is good shit, isn't it? The only thing that could rival it is The Tiger... and lawwwd, that article I wrote last week about those ridiculous bricks... excuse me, "pavers"... that line the ground at the Union has gotten the whole camups in an uproar... See... I have the emotions of the entire school in the palm of my hand!!! MUAH HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE!

::ahem::

Anyway... yesterday I had to get bold with the illustrious Eugene T. Moore School of Education. Yes, they are granting me a degree in May, but yesterday, they gave me a sorry excuse for a teacher, and neither my classmates nor I agreed with it. Our first Read teacher, Asher was one cool bitch. I mean seriously. We used to have SO much fun in that class! And not only did we have fun and the class wasn't like watching paint dry, but we learned a lot. I mean, you just learn a lot more from teachers who not only know what they are talking about, but teachers who have a clue as to how to teach and engage their students. Well, Asher had to leave for her own reasons, and all of us were sad to see her go, but we understood. The School of Education got this ridiculous backwoods Tamassee woman to come and take her place... Excuse me. The fact that she is backwoods and from Tamassee really doesn't mean anything... what the issue is, is she walked into the room (first day of her EVER being there, now) and goes, "My name is Alice, I'm your new Read teacher and from what I hear you didn't do or learn anything with your former teacher. I am assuming that you know nothing about reading and it is because your teacher never taught you anything." First of all... "Blah, blah, blah, the mission of the Eugene T. Moore School of Education is to education Caring, Capable, and Connected educators, blah, blah, blah." YOU DON'T WALK INTO A ROOM OF PRE-SERVICE TEACHERS AND TELL THEM THAT THEIR TEACHER WAS A JOKE AND THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. On top of that, you don't walk in and throw 2 packets chock full of random information ON THE DAY OF A MIDTERM becuase, "Your teacher was supposed to have taught you the things that were in Chapters 1-6 of the book and she didn't. So I am going to do it right now before the exam." That heffer gave us a copy of her PowerPoints... NINE SLIDES ON A PAGE... Poor Ellen... even if she had had designer super contacts in (Ellen is always in something designer), she wouldn't have been able to see the things adequately. She asked Alice if she could make the PowerPoints bigger... and she was like, "I have a certain amount of paper I can use, and I can't make them special just for you." Hmm... Well, Eugene T. Moore School of Education, I can't tell you how many times I have heard someone in your illustrious faculty say, "Teach to the whole child." Oh yes. I have been listening and taking advantage of this education that keeps getting more and more expensive every year.

Anyway, Alice had us write whether or not we thought we learned anything, what we did learn, and whether the midterm was an adequate assessment of what we learned on the back of our midterm. I lit into the woman... telling her that we learned tons in the weeks before she showed up and how unprofessional it was for her to come in and bash our former teacher and tell us, her students and future teachers that we didn't know anything and she was the one to enlighten us. After I so eloquently gave her a figurative smack upside the head, Ellen, Krista and I marched right up to the office of the head of the School of Education and told him everything and how we didn't appreciate her coming in and doing the things she did. He seemed really surprised and taken aback at the whole situation. He told us that she was out of line and that he would try to right the wrong, but apparently he and the rest of the Read department had been told that Asher had never taught us anything and she never showed up for class. Well, we defended Asher and our own intelligence in the only way we knew how... concrete evidence. I took out my PowerPoints that Asher had made for us (which he compared to Alice's microscopic PowerPoints) and he went and made copies of them. He said that that evidence would help a lot and give them a clearer understanding of what Asher DID do.

So... I said all that to say, DON'T F*CK WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUNGER THAN YOU OR IN A LOWER POSITION THAN YOU. They can screw you over and make things very difficult for you. As for Alice... I intend on rocking her world in that class... making As on everything and being just as respectful to her as she was to us. I am a senior... that Read class will be the VERY last undergraduate class I EVER take because next semester will be nothing but student teaching. All of our teachers in the block have told us that we are pretty much teachers... there isn't a lot more that we need to learn... the only thing that stands between us and the title are signed pieces of paper. She can't screw us over like that and disrespect us like we don't know what the hell is going on.

But that basically goes for everyone... I'm sick of people talking down to other people and thinking they are so much better than everyone else. Sure in your mind you can build yourself up and think that you are God's gift to mankind... that's great. It's good to have a little self-esteem. But ESPECIALLY if you are in a position of leadership, use a little humility... and geez, if you are a teacher... POINT BLANK: DON'T BE SUCH AN F-ING DOUCHE.

tehee...

Disclaimer: The title of this entry is in NO reference to the aforementioned teacher. It is about the journal entry I mentioned towards the beginning of this entry.

wait a minute...

...that was so depressing. Too depressing. Why shouldn't I believe. What does it hurt? Besides the fact that it pulls way too hard on the heartstrings, it doesn't kill me...

But I hate holding out and once again like in This Year's Love... I am admitting the fact that I am waiting. Waiting sucks ass. Plain and simple. I think it's made me a bitter person.

It's why I don't believe... no. I don't. I don't care if that is too depressing. That's me and that's real. I don't believe.

drew's birthday

It's late... really late. It's 2 am. I have 2 exams in the morning. I have NOT written in here in a while. So this late night entry is justified.

My friend Drew who I don't see very often at all turned 21 at midnight. He IMed me at about 9:30 to see if I would go downtown with him. I said sure even though I was home sick today and have my exams in the morning. I felt bad... it seemed as if he wasn't going to have anyone to go downtown with. So I went.

Drew and I always have really good, deep conversations. It's ironic seeing how we don't talk much... we are both really busy and when we do talk it's usually online. But when we do get a chance to see each other in person, we always talk about deep philosophical stuff.

Tonight, he asked how I was doing and stuff, and I said I was okay, but no one really understands me. He said he felt the same way, but he thought he could figure me out. Then he asked if I really would want to be understood, because knowing everything about someone is the difference between being a human being and being God. It made me think, but in the end, I answered that I do want someone to know all about me.

Isn't t hat what companionship is? Knowing everything about someone? I think my parents know everything about each other... seriously. Its a kind of relationship that is even closer than that of a parent and child... children are always going to hide things from their parents, but a true loving and honest marriage has no secrets. They know everything about each other.

So yes. I want someone to know all about me. But, once again, I know that person probably doesn't exist.

Since they don't exist, I stopped living by the words of This Year's Love. Yes, I have been waiting on my own too long... and I'm still waiting, obviously. What's the point in reminding myself that I am just waiting. Just today, I have been drawn to song lyrics that talk about believing (all American Idol songs, ironically). I want to believe... and I like these songs. So I'll hold on to these for a while. Whether I really believe or not, I can't tell. Truthfully, I don't believe... but that just sounds so horrible. So... I dunno.

This one song that I am listening to now, Dreams, talks about how we are just made of dreams. I mean, I do dream about it... is that believing enough? I honestly cannot sit here and say that without a shadow of a doubt I believe someone is out there for me. But I can say that I have dreamt and do dream of someone... so is that believing? It's the only hope I have I guess.

It would be so much more relaxing if I could just give up completely and not even think about it... not even dream about it. Then I wouldn't have to even wonder if I did believe.

See... I'm too confusing for someone to understand. No. I don't believe.

10:35 = BEDTIME!!!

It's 10:35 and I am preparing to go to bed. w00t! I haven't written in a while... but I thought I'd catch you and Smouse up on a few things.

1. I wore letters today for the first time since this summer. KKcrap has kinda been at a minimum as of late. Hopefully it will stay that way.

2. Alpha Phi Omega is well underway... so is the controversy...

3. I'm not really crushing anymore... on that individual that sang in my dream... although I think Alanis Morissette said it best when she named her album Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie.

4. This Year's Love is currently the song playing on the soundtrack of my life.

5. I teach my first lesson on Wednesday and I am actually pretty nervous.

6. I'm doing a pretty good job hiding all of my internal ish... as always, no one really understands me...

lets talk about something...

...because it's been a while since I have talked about ANYTHING. Last time I wrote in here, Smouse was the topic of discussion. This time, it's not going to be... We are going to tackle one of the many Ham Rules. Rule Number 9: No Self-Proclaimed Crushes. I tend to break this rule a lot. One may consider me spineless, or passive as some have said, but for some reason, I tend to break this rule a lot... this one which goes alont with Rule Number 4, The Alicia Keys Rule: Don't Fall. Yeah. I suck at these two. But I was thinking this weekend (for some VERY ODD reason, being on away band trips makes me think about things like this), what's so wrong with having a crush. I mean, I'm not saying that I have one or not. What I am saying is, I feel like I have behaved pretty well... Since being 21 and back at school, I haven't let emotional ish really drag me down a lot... I mean, the only thing that is pretty sad is my AIM profile... but it basically just gives a visual representation of a song lyric that I really relate to. Actually, I don't relate to This Year's Love at all. There is once again no love this year. Oh well. I have decided that is probably the way it is going to be.

I remember in 12th grade... like it was yesterday. We were in Teacher Cadets and Mr. T asked how many of us thought we would probably get married. I was the only one that didn't raise my hand. I have this sense... it's weird. Not just about marriage, but everything. If I can't see something in my mind happening, then I can pretty much tell it's not going to happen. Most of the time I usually apply it to taking trips and stuff. If I can't forsee it happening, I don't really look forward to it. Honestly, I never see anyone returning love for me in the way that I give them love. Like, I can see Kate and Deni walking down the aisle... I can even see my 30-something year old Aunt Irene getting married. But I can't see me doing it. Not just that, but I can't see myself even dating anyone. As sad as it sounds... I think it's the truth.

How do I feel about this? Well... it sucks. It sucks really bad. But, nuns and monks never marry. Maybe I am to be in the number with them. But that leads me to another question... Is there really anything wrong with self proclaimed crushes and falling? I mean, I know nothing is ever going to happen. So if I give into the attraction, nothing is harmed right. I have already told myself that I'm going to end up being a loner (a loner in a very posh home wearing really nice clothing, mind you). There really isn't anything wrong with crushing or falling.

But frankly, it's just not very attractive... to see someone swooning over someone else. It becomes annoying and frustrating... not just for onlookers, but for the person crushing. I'm not ever doing that again. I swear from this moment (9:11 pm on Sunday September, 19, 2004). No crushing. As for falling... you can't really help that. It's a bitch, it is... but there are some things about people that just make a spot in your heart tickle when you think about them... Honestly, I had a dream last night about someone... they sang a song. Not to me, but they sang... I feel that singing is one of the most beautiful forms of expression. When I heard this individual sing, it was beautiful... I cry when some people sing... I just do. I can't take it. Some people's singing evokes emotion within me. I woke up and wanted to cry. It was only a dream... the person prolly can't sing at all... but they sang in my dream.

Anyway... call it falling... I'm not going to crush anymore. Or maybe that's backwards... don't fall, but it's okay to crush... because in all seriousness, crushing is pretty innocent. People crush on movie stars. They can't really fall for movie stars. Falling would entail knowing someone and wanting to be with them. Crushing is pretty much just a feeling felt at a distance... you see someone walking on campus and they are cute, so you crush. Yeah. So no FALLING. Crushing... that's what you can't help. As for my particular situation with this singer... is that falling or crushing? Singing, to me, is a big deal. Hellifiknow. Nothing is going to happen. Just another notch on the old oak log. Another crush that won't turn into anything but a grain of sand in my hourglass of life.

i have a clue

...and within 28 minutes, I have a guess as to your identity, Smouse. First of all, I pose this question... is it possible that you were up at 6:53 and are up now at 7:21 like me... and getting ready to go to your practicum school??? ;-)

please notice the post time...

At the bottom of this entry, it says the time that the entry was posted. Smouse, honey... I want you to take a good look at the time at the bottom of it. Yes. 6:53 am. While you were probably enjoying sweet slumber, I am up writing about you. And you know what? I SHOULD be getting ready for school. Technically, I am supposed to be at Central Elementary at 7:30... but no... you are more important to me, Smouse. Actually... your identity or lack thereof is driving me nuts.

I was talking to Erin on Saturday before the game... walking up to where we start the parade (also take not of this, Smouse... shouldn't the performance be on our minds, not the identity of a fabulous person named Smouse?), and Erin asks if I have any clue as to who you are. And I say no. Then she proceeds to tell me about how in high school, she used to get candy grams and stuff from some mysterious person named "C.M." (or something like that). She checked the yearbook for all the guys with those initials, but she came up with nothing. To this day, Erin has no clue who this character was.

Smouse, I don't want to go on living like this! THROW ME A FREAKING BONE, HERE! But I really don't want you to just come out and say it... it would be much cooler if you gave me hints. But I'll go ahead and tell you this. You are a girl, you aren't in band ('cause you posted a comment during band rehearsal), I am probably not the only person you know in band, and (of course) I think you go to Clemson. I have no idea where Smouse came from... whether it is a nickname, or some derivative of your real name, or whether you like mice (which would make me think that you are an AKA... I love them).

Anyway, Smouse, I need to go get ready so I can sit through another day of class at Central. Please take this blog to heart. With every comment you write, you lead me on like a Tri-Dilta leads on a frat pledge (as Sarah would say).

losers

I am surrounded by losers... in every shape form and fashion. I am sorry... and I don't mean to be mean. But when people are mean or just plain old intolerable, they get the title of LOSER. I am just a little upset with several people and groups of people right now. Due to the popularity of this blog and how much of an overnight celebrity I am (I know you liked my rendition earlier today), I am not going to name names and point fingers. Lets just say... George W. Bush wannabe, prehistoric animal, a bunch of retard moo cows, daytime children's programming, Designing Women, the whole R&B community... they all piss me off.

LOSERS

pen and paper

I hope that this writing thing takes me somewhere... I just realized that I am pretty much obsessed... last night in an interview with the entire chapter of Alpha PHI Omega (not Chi... those chicks kinda had it out for me after The Tiger last week), someone asked me what 3 things I would take with me if I were stuck on a desert island. Without hesitation, I said a pen and paper... to document the situation. Wow. I am a writing FIEND.

As for The Tiger, I have gotten a vast assortment of reactions from it... most people LOVED it. Some other people didn't enjoy it so much... you know, those sorors of the lyre... After talking to Cassie and Kate about it, I decided to apologize to the president, because even though I didn't mention her name or Alpha Chi Omega, the entire Greek community knows who it is about. The funny thing is... DAMN... that's a buttload of people. So, nest week in The Tiger, I'm going to talk about how small Clemson really is... and how easy it is to get 150 girls mad at you.

Which leads me to my next observation... Dang a lot of people know me. Not EVEN trying to boast. I mean seriously. There are just an immense amount of people who claim to know me. I was talking to Rachie the other day and she said that being in the band means that you don't have a personal life... Well, along with being in the band, being a drum major, and now being a columnist in The Tiger, everyone seems to know Hamilton. I am beginning to feel the way I felt last year... as Alanis Morrissette says in "Not the Doctor:" "I don't want to be your idol, you see this pedastal is high and I'm afraid of heights." AND NOW BEFORE YOU GO THINKIN' I'M HOT ISH, Jason Grygier told me that that was how I was feeling... I don't think I'm an idol... you little groundling, you...

Anyway, another song comes to mind when I think of living in the limelight... "Overnight Celebrity."

Why don't we...
Write somethin' these ho's will like?
Write shit that's so damn tight
Ham P, you told 'em right?
I can make you a celebrity overnight
Give you ice with the blogs I write
Everybody thinks they know me, right?
Every Saturday I wear white
Holy shit! I'm a celebrity overnight

Seriously... I'm not trying to have a big head. But I just can't get over how many people claimed to know me after my article last week. Ironically though (and this will be addressed in next week's article), at Clemson, everyone is pretty much a celebrity... it just takes you doing something that draws attention to you for you to notice...

sounding off

I am pissed. Why? Well, it is not because of our dear friend Adria, nor is it because I don't know the identity of the wonderful person that is Smouse. I am pissed because I am not black enough? No, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to be as dark as James Hanna... according to some people, he is not black enough either (how in the hell, I have no idea).

The reason James and I are not black enough apparently has nothing to do with the color of our skin. I don't know when black started being defined as a lifestyle, not just a race. But apparently, I deny my blackness. I don't live like a black individual ought. But then again, I guess the whole reason that I don't is because I am ignorant... I don't know HOW a black individual ought.

Now, if one of these utterly tragic people who are telling me that I deny my blackness thinks that because I don't hang out with only black people, talk a certain way, walk a certain way, eat certain foods, or live a certain way, then they are a disgrace to the ever so fabulous color that is their skin. Being black is not about what you do, wear, say, eat, or live. Being black is simply that... being black. Why can't people see that walking around in a diverse community wearing a skin color that is not the majority is a beautiful thing? That is special enough. Why is it that some black people feel that they must make a name for themselves, or (THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH) for EVERYONE. They have to all congregate together because "nobody knows the trouble (we)'ve seen / nobody knows (our) sorrow." My GOD! Grow up and get your mind out of your little afro-centric mind. This is not a black and white world. This is a world of MANY colors and types of people... to shut oneself off to only the people that are like them is ridiculous.

Now, even saying all of this, I guess that I am not the most valid source of opinion. I was raised in a predominantly white community and have always had more white friends than black friends... but you know one thing? Never in my existence, have I ever wanted to be white. What kind of person would I be if I was white? I would not be the person that I am today. I have learned so much about life from being black, and I am proud to say that I am one. I am NOT proud, however, to associate with black individuals that are so shallow to think that ALL black people are supposed to hang out with one another and be the ever so strong backbone for each other because it's such a cruel world and the white man is all about trampling all over us and seeing us fail! Forgive me please, but BULL SHIT!

If ANYONE is prejudice... it is black people. I am quite serious when I say this. In the past, white individuals were people who looked down on blacks and did not like to see us prosper. But thanks to individuals like Martin Luther King, Jr. who not only wanted to see black people succeed, but see blacks and whites live together harmoniously, many white people have learned from the ways of their forfathers and accept blacks and other minorities as fellow human beings. The world is too diverse for them to truly think that they as white people are a superior race. There are so many different races and cultures with wonderful things about them for whites to think that. Of course there are some who are still grand wizards and grand dragons and stuff, but the decent white people FAR outweigh the indecent ones. As for the black community, I am almost certain that there are more of them that are prejudiced against white people than whites that are prejudiced against them. How do I know this? Why is it common to see a couple black people scattered amongst a group of white people, but when there are a few white people in the midst of many black people, people start scratching their heads? Why are there colleges and universities, and then there are historically black colleges and universities? Why do I get looked down on by individuals at South Carolina State, because there are more black people at their entire school than there are at my school? Why is it okay to have BET, when if there was a WET, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would raise hell and call a boycott for cable television?

I'm not saying that there needs to be a WET or there need to be schools solely for white individuals. All I'm saying is, the time has passed for segregation. Look at this... George W. Bush, Gen. Colin Powell, and Condoleeza Rice; Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson (they even got a latina up in there!); Jay Leno and Kevin Eubanks. I mean, come on. OPEN YOUR EYES, PEOPLE. THE WORLD IS NOT AS TERRIBLE AS YOU THINK IT IS. IT IS OKAY TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT AREN'T EXACTLY LIKE YOU!

And the next time you think I am denying my blackness, ask yourself, if you are just denying yourself as a human being.

smouse

Okay, now you faithful readers know that it is not uncommon for me to devote a whole entry to one person... that is what I am doing in this case. Smouse... whoever you are... I love you. I am serious. I don't mean the play play kind of love that people say to their friends when they sign letters, or the type of love that people say when they say the obligatory "Love ya!" Just for future reference, that type of love is pretty much just hearsay... if someone really loves you, they would say "I love you." As I have just said to this Smouse individual.

Smouse, I love you in the way that means if you were about to get hit by a car, I would run out and push you out of the way and put my own life in danger. I love you so much that if I had to choose between money and you, I'd choose you. Yes. I love you that much. Why? Well, its obviously because I have no earthly idea who you are, but you still motivate me through your little messages. I mean, dang... I really do feel like I have a fairy godmother (by the way, Smouse... that just told me that you are obviously a girl... thanks for that). The only scary thing about this is that this person probably sees me and I have no clue about it. Weird. It's kinda like how I ended up on the back of The Orange & White and I didn't even see anyone take my picture.

Anyway, thank you Smouse... for the anonymous encouragement. It is HIGHLY appreciated. And just so you know, Smouse, Tiger Band is definitely ready to "Shake the Southland" this afternoon at the First Friday parade and pep rally and tomorrow at the football game. I have a whole new outlook on the show since Wednesday, Smouse. I talked to Jeff Norman, our visual consultant and drum major coach and he told me that I need to get back into the show. Apparently, he and other people in the band have been able to tell that I haven't been as excited about the piece since before the pre-season performance 2 Saturdays ago. A lot of the problem with the show and the tempo problems and stuff aren't my fault. Actually, it's not really one person's fault or one section's fault. Everyone is doing their best, Smouse... it's just that in a way we are all trying so hard that we aren't really all on the same page. The thing that is going to make things a lot better is an INSANELY tight connection with the drumline and a RIDICULOUSLY tight connection between the band and me... ME... NOT the drumline. No, Smouse, I don't want all the attention on me, it's just that they are listening down and not watching. And now that I think about it, they need to be watching A drum major... not necessarily me, but either Kate, Leroy, or Lindsey would work too.

Okay, Smouse... sorry to bore you with more band stuff. Speaking of band though, Smouse... today, the band was liberated from years of scrutiny and persecution. My editorial about dear Alpha Chi president was published... although you and everyone else should know, Smouse, that I did not say that it was the Alpha Chi president. I said that it was "a sorority president." No names were mentioned, so I did not slander that tragic girl in front of the entire Clemson community. But, I will slander her here online... the whole internet community. MUAH HA HA HA HA! Sorry, Smouse... I got carried away there. Anyway, Betsy and Erin both left me messages saying that it was a good article. Willene just called me saying she had to give me my props about the article and she said the girl had what was coming to her. HAHA! I haven't even seen the thing in print yet. We went to campus at midnight last night to see if they had put any out yet, but they hadn't. So, I am waiting on Nick to get home with one so I can see it... and the tragic picture I took Wednesday after being in the classroom all day and a 2 hour band practice...

So anyway Smouse, once again, thanks a lot for being there... wherever you are. You rock my face off. I want to be you for halloween.

the problem with captain

OMG. And the saga continues... Captain from Castille. Dr. Spede only wants the captain heading west at say... 20 knots. The band wants the captain heading west at like 220 knots. So today, I decided to talk to good ol' Spedie about this dilemma and he told me that for practice sake, we need to take it slow... and that it is too early in the season to take it that pre-season performance/Madison Scouts speed. Okay, I said. We both got up on the podium (I hate it when he stands up there with me... I get so nervous) and he said, "Lemme see 168 (which is the supposed tempo of Captain)." I showed it to him, and he agreed that it was correct. Okay, so we are on the same page... I start out the song... "tweeeet... tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet." WHAT THE HELL?! The drummers have taken control of the captain's ship, turned it around and have it heading toward land at like 300 knots! And at this point, even I was scared it was going to fall apart.

Well, after THAT was over, there was tons of cheers... the band and even some of the people sitting on the sidelines LOVED it. I'm serious... CHEERS. At the next water break, there were kudos all around. I couldn't even take credit for it. It was the drummers. I am so appreciative of them, but why did they do it?

Even with how great it was, I feel like I don't have any control of it.

DM/CUD practice is tomorrow... answers, please...

And also... answers as to who Smouse is! Thanks for the comment... I appreciated it. But, who are you?

the last weekend of freedom

Well, this is it... the final Saturday before football season. In all honesty, I have to say that I am ready for a little football. But, today has been really nice. I got to sleep in, then go to THE BRAND NEW WAL MART IN CENTRAL (I kid you not... that is how excited I am about that place). Nick and I went there with Bobby, who would definitely have to be coolest freshman so far. We went to tragic Anderson Mall too. It was all together a really good day. Right now, I am takin' a little load off, since I just got done cleaning up Justin's and my bathroom (it's ironic how I don't mind doing it here, but I HATE doing it when I'm at home).

Anyway, I know that I have become severely tragic when it comes to updating this thing. My life is really busy, and while I can't make any promises really, I promise to write at least once a week. As for dumb pe0ple... I see dumb pe0ple living on in The Tiger this year. I mean, I did write about a dumb person for my first column. It was about the re-re Alpha Chi president. Love Alpha Chi... just not her.

In other news, Tiger Band is going well (I know you were wondering... it seems like all anyone ever asks me anymore is "How is band?"). I think by Saturday, we will be krunk like no other. We are definitely getting there. The only problem I have is with my song. Yes... f-ing Captain. It's a GREAT song... don't get me wrong (yay for a rhyme), but I feel like Dr. Spede is stifling how great it could be! Yesterday at practice, I was so pissed. He told me that I was too excited and that I was pushing the band on too much. He also said that last Saturday at the pre-season performance, it was incredibly too fast. The ironic thing about this, is that EVERYONE in the band thought that it was so much better that fast. Dr. Spede almost had an anxiety attack, but in the end it turned out really well. I can clearly remember Dr. Buyer telling me good job as soon as I got down from the podium. It was fast, but I had it in control. Yesterday, he basically told me that I was pushing them too much and that I was making them go too fast. What I don't understand is how I could start the right speed and then all of a sudden speed up in different parts of the song... There are no accelerandos in the song. I'll tell you what my theory is... I start out the tragically slow tempo that Dr. Spede wants it and the drums, who have told me before, take it at the speed they know it to be. That means that even if I start it super slow or outrageously fast, they are going to pretty much play it the speed it is supposed to be... UNLESS a "Crazy in Love" moment happens... where I hear the drum captain tell the line to take it at whatever speed I want it to be and they just follow along (that happened at 90 minutes before kickoff once last year). Anyway, I start really slow because Dr. Spede wants me to, and the drums take it faster because they can... the rest of the band pretty much has all concentration between marching and their music... so I am pretty much aware that they are not watching me... BUT the drummers are... and they expect me to be with them because they ARE looking at me... despite whether the tempo I counted off was to their approval or not. So, I end up wuRkeng it hard up on the podium, while the band who is not watching me listens down to the super-psychotic drummers who are hacking at whatever speed they feel is necessary. You see the pattern? It's confusing I know, but I do believe this is the problem. And this is the solution: PLAY THE SONG FASTER. Everyone will enjoy it faster... mainly the drummers and I, 'cause I feel that the winds are gonna go with whatever we do. So, I think I'm going to talk to Spede about maybe taking it the actual Madison Scouts speed.

Sorry to bore you non-musical readers with that band mumbo jumbo. Maybe when people ask me "How's band?" I should just bore them with stuff like that. However, I do see people asking in the future, "How is teaching?" and possibly even "How is pledging?"

white flag

So it is Sunday afternoon... a pretty one. I'm sitting here in my room with pretty much nothing to do. But, I am listening to White Flag by Dido... you know a song from The Crush miniseries. There is no crush right now... but it is a really pretty song. Very strong words in it. It shows that just because a relationship is over, that doesn't mean that there can't be feelings of love still there as well.

I don't know why I went and got all emotional like that. I'm sorry. Anyway, band camp is over. I'm glad. I think band is actually becoming a bit of a hassle for me. In the past, I would want nothing more than to be on the practice field all day long every day of the week. This year, I had to push myself (or P.U.S.H. as Dr. Buyer said). I dunno. Is it my age? It's a little disheartening to realize that the one thing that made me so excited is now something that I have to push myself to do. Hopefully that will get better as the season progresses.

And now, my brain is empty.

I was going to write about a certain sorority president, but it would be better suited in dumb pe0ple. But, it is going to be BEST suited in my first opinions column in The Tiger... muah ha ha.

greetings from the apartmeezy

Hello there... I am writing from the comfort of my bedroom in 101 A The Reserve. Can I just say that I LOVE living here. Living off campus with friends is like having a constant party! It's so much fun. I really don't think I could have better roomies. I just hope that it doesn't interfere with classes and work. Judging from the first couple days of class, the block is going to be a bitch. Therefore, I will hereafter refer to the block as "the bitch." This is going to be so serious.

Anyway, it's been a while. Let's see... band is great. I love it. Some people in the band and KKPsi are getting on my nucking ferves... but this year, I have vowed not to act up or involve myself in fraternity drama... but when it comes to the band, I have a responsibilty as drum major to make sure that people aren't being shitty. The biggest problem is people thinking they are better than other people and yelling at them and talking down to them and getting attitudes... and then some people just act up too much. Yes, band is supposed to be fun, but we have work to do... LOTS of it... Poor Captain from Castille... I think the captain and his fleet of ships sank yesterday at practice... we are struggling. I feel like I am only conducting the drumline because the wind players are SO into trying to get the right spot on the field and/or playing the right notes that they aren't really paying attention to the tempo. I feel a little helpless... I've felt this way before about band... as drum major, sometimes you feel so disconnected from the players being up there and on that podium... especially when people say they don't pay attention to you anyway... yeah, thanks for that.

Enough about the band though... we have a lot of shit to put up with. Last night I listened to the president of Clemson's Alpha Chi Omega chapter talk trash about the band. I'm not going to go into it... She got what she deserved last night... and I just WISH someone would trash talk us again... it kinda shocks people when I get pissed, but after I have said my peace, they get the picture. Alpha Chi Omega only has 3 things going for it now as far as I'm concerned... Kate Moon, Kate Ramage, and Cassie Owens. The president... whoever the ho is... she can get hit by a CAT bus for all I care.

I think that is all... this is going to be a busy semester, so I don't know how often I will write... and the internet here at The Reserve is not extremely dependable. Plus I will be writing for The Tiger also... so who knows. I might be ending delightful* a little sooner than I had expected.... or maybe just at least for this season... I have been having Delia, Mishelle, and Elle withdrawal. I am going to write this afternoon though... we got out of class early because the lady never showed up. HEE HEE. Anyway... I have until 3:15 to sit around and do nothing... then I go see my kids at Seneca High! I have missed them so!

I'll try not to be a stranger...

moving day

Sunday, August 15, 2004.
Saturday, August 7, 2004.
Thursday, May 27, 2004.
Monday, May 10, 2004.

All of these days make up the moving days of the summer. They sucked. Well, the first date is today's date. I don't really know if it is going to suck, but I am almost certain that it will. I am addressing you from the living room of Club 1-Tweezy. I am sitting on the sofa, which I will attempt to sleep on shortly. Miriam, Renata, Sammie, and Karen have so graciously allowed me to stay here all week. I am actually blogging on Karen's computer. It really makes me appreciate my brothers... even if today, the first day of outdoor rehearsal, people got all hot and bothered. I didn't though. My approach for this year is to not say anything. So with that...

We move in at noon... this sucks. Not only is it at the heat of the day, but it only gives us an hour and a half before we have to be at the band room for rehearsal. On top of that, I have to go to rehearsal nicely dressed because I have a scholarship dinner at 5:30... luckily, this year I will be able to attend. In the past, band got in the way, but this year, things are working out perfectly. Anyway, I will probably have to conduct Captain during rehearsal tomorrow as well. So if I'm not sweaty from moving, I will be from that. After dinner, there is outdoor rehearsal, which is mainly going to be pre-game. That won't be terrible, although I lack patience for watching the band do things that I really can't be involved in. After all that, I finally get to move in whatever I didn't get moved in at noon. Then I can stay up until only God knows when, cuttin' up with the roomies and trying to unpack. And at 9 on Monday, there's more band.

::sigh::

I love it.

And on a side note... Damn, Vanessa Huxtable has got a mess of hair on this episode.

twenty one

Greetings... from the land of the legal. I am 21 years old and it feels great. Just to know that I can walk into a bar and order a beer and it will be perfectly fine to do so (don't worry, I am not planning on turning into a lush). But, yeah, the day is finally here, and ironically, I am more excited about the next 4 days than I am about today. I mean, I will be 21 all year... I will be legal for the rest of my life. But the first day of my last year in band will only come once, and so will the day that I move into my first apartment. I honestly can't wait, and the excitement about these two events is overshadowing the pleasure of being 21.

That is pretty much all I have to say... I mean, things are good. I am at home in Greenville right now, but this week, I am staying at Club 1-Tweezy (Miriam, Renata, Sammie, and Karen's) so I wouldn't have to carry all my stuff back here to Greenville. It is a lot of fun staying there, and I am SO grateful to have brothers like them that will let me crash there for a whole week. Just like Hoke, they personify the word "brother."

I think that is all... I am seriously more interested in the life of Miss Delia Johnson right now... I have been writing in there lots more than in here...

OH!!! I got the BEST birthday present yesterday... Well, since Club 1-Tweezy has DirecTV, there are like a seventy-leven billion stations on there. I was watching Oxygen yesterday, and THE FINAL EPISODE OF ROSEANNE AIRED! I was in heaven! Seeing how I haven't even watched regular episodes in like 2 weeks because of Dookieblue not having cable the last stretch of camp, I was completely overjoyed to watch it. It was just as touching as I imagined... when Roseanne explained the whole thing about Dan and his heart attack, I kinda teared up a little... ugh... that show. It really does something to me. I am a Roseanne freak... and damn proud of it!

Okay... see, the entry wasn't so short after all. You got a little more than you bargained for. Well, I hope this holds all you readers for a little while... I don't have much access to a computer right now, seeing how mine is sitting on the floor in pieces at Club 1-Tweezy. I am sure once band starts, I will have lots and lots to talk about. Until next time...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIRIAM AND ME!

...and actor, Will Friedel who starred as Eric on Boy Meets World. Yes... the television was my babysitter.

night 1 of 2...

...left here in Dookieblue (for all of you who failed to catch on that I renamed this crackhouse of a dorm Dookieblue, I am talking about Mauldin Hall). I have NEVER been more excited to leave a place in my life... except for maybe leaving Claflin that week when I went there for camp the summer before 9th grade.

Anyway... I don't have much on my mind. I talked to my mom and dad both today... Sadly (yes, I realize that what I am about to say is sad), whenever I talk to them on the phone, my spirits sink... like, I could be talking to some friends or something and carrying on a good, fun conversation, and then one of them calls, I answer the phone and just plummet into a pit of monotonous auto-chat. It shouldn't be that way. I should be glad to talk to my parents... but I'm not. As a matter of fact, my dad called while we were playing a game this evening and I looked at the phone, rolled my eyes, and turned the phone off. I did call him back though... when I did, he called to ask about a day that the two of us could get together and do something... by something, I mean something, 'cause I really didn't know what he was talking about. He asked when I was coming home, and I told him that I really didn't have any plans of coming home except on my birthday to drop off stuff that I won't need for the apartment and pick up some of the things that are still there at the house. He got (excuse me) sounded upset that I wasn't going to be available past the 11th... but I told him (in an equally frustrated tone) that it wasn't my fault that band starts the 12th... I really think that a lot of this freaking out by my parents is an effect of one or a combination of these upcoming events:

1. August 11, 2004 - The 21st Birthday... If 18 didn't mean I was an adult, 21 really does... ALCOHOL.
2. May 13, 2005 - Graduation... I will have a bachelors degree... the same thing my mom has... does she think that I think that will make us equal??? Please, I know better.
3. August/September 2005 - Grad School... They will have to let go again... and they will have to get over the fact that I will be in a completely different state.

The main cause being... I AM GROWING UP. I might be wrong, but I don't think they can handle it.

Anyway... what else was I going to write about??? Oh. Grad school... Well, as for Australia, I am not even motivated to try... my parents are freaking out that I am about to start a new chapter in my life here in the same country, so I don't even want to begin thinking about "reasoning" with them about Australia. I was set on UGA... but ever since going up to New Brunswick, Rutgers has been looking more and more appealing. It is far away but close to my godparents, in a completely different part of the country, has a really good school of education, EXACTLY what I want to major in, and the opportunity to start all over again and make completely new friends (not that I don't like my friends here at Clemson... I just didn't get to start fresh since so many people came here from Eastside). At any rate, both UGA and Rutgers have their perks... I will go first to the school that I get accepted to, and then to the school that is cheaper.

It was me looking at Rutgers and their band program that brought me all the way back to the sound of the psi. They don't have a KKPsi chapter... or at least an active one. Want some juicy KKPsi gossip? Go here and read the story of Mu Upsilon Alpha. It kinda made me think... if I go to Rutgers, my KKPsi days this year will truly be my last. There is no way that I would ever join the organization they have there... it violates my vows. Then I was just overcome with the simple fact that, "I am a brother of KKPsi..." And NOTHING EVER can change that. There is no way that I can erase the events of March 28, 2002 from my mind... every day since that date, I have been a brother of this organization... even as an active brother in a chapter full of drama, I wear the letters of the organization... even as an inactive brother, I am just that... INACTIVE, but still a brother of KKPsi... there is no getting around it. And there is no reason to deny that which I am... it would be like me saying that I am not my parents' child... despite all of my issues with them, I am still Brenda and Toney's kid... their soon to be 21 year old kid, but their kid, yet and still.

and at the end of the day, blue is still blue...

So I just got back from New Jersey... like seriously only 30 minutes ago. I am really tired, but in a really thoughtful mood... so, here goes.

I really do think my parents loathe me... and for good reason. Apparently, I am nothing that they raised me to be. I am not respectful, too logical, and don't present myself well... according to them, that is. Once when I was home, I was told that I didn't participate in things with the family enough... like when I came home, all I did was sit at the computer (I can't help it, i like to write). Well, it seems that everytime a conversation (CONVERSATION, NOT ARGUMENT) started on this weekend's trip, it turned into something negative. I don't mind talking to them, I just think that they don't realize that when I talk, I am doing just that... TALKING. I have no intention on getting into a heated argument. I can't even think of one specific incident where this occurred... but all you need to know is that it happened.

I suppose that covers how I am disrespectful... my conversations are apparently taken as me "talking back." They just got done warning me that it was inapporpriate to talk back to people older than me in the real world. Do they really think that I am going to carry on like that with people who are in positions above me? I mean, I would assume that in a CONVERSATION with my parents, a little humorous arrogance would be welcome. I guess not... so once again, back to the computer when I am at home for extended periods of time.

Anyway, that leads me to how I present myself. This was nothing more than insulting. Seriously. My parents think that I am incapable of dressing appropriately. I found this out when I went to church in my brown sandals... or flip flops as my mom informed me. You know, they were the nice brown kind... not like electric blue and green or anything. I wore them with my khakis, brown belt, and brand new J. Crew yellow polo shirt. This apparently and all of a sudden, is inappropriate for church... ALL MY LIFE, I have been told that for church, God welcomes you to "come as you are." I mean, if I was coming as I was, I think I was coming pretty nicely. I have to admit, I would have liked to wear shoes, but I didn't pack any and when I went to the mall to find some, I didn't see any that I liked. So, I ATTEMPTED to go to church in my sandals, but my mom made me put on my brothers Firkenstocks (yes, Firkenstocks with an F... they are so knock offs). Anyway, at brunch later that afternoon, I was informed that I am to always wear a tie to church... THAT IS THE REASON WHY PEOPLE DON'T GO TO CHURCH RIGHT THERE!!! 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE TOO HUNG UP ON WHAT PEOPLE ARE WEARING (this has lead me to a breakthrough in my Christianity, which I will address shortly). Anyway, my dad told me to ask my godfather, who is the GM of the Hyatt we were staying at, who would get farther in an interview, J. Crew me, or the model tie wearing black Baptist church member Donovan. Larry said, "Well, Donovan would definitely get farther in the interview." Yes. Thank you, Larry. Honestly though, if I was coming to interview at the Hyatt, I would wear a tie... but WAS I? NO! And I didn't dare bring this point to my dad's attention, because that would have been considered reasoning... which I do too much of. SO... I have come to tell myself, instead of Teddy Roosevelt's "Speak softly and carry a big stick," "Don't speak at all and carry a duffle bag full of humility." It just doesn't make any sense to try to carry on a conversation with them if all I am going to do is be considered disrespectful and too logical. My dad says that I will argue my way out of a paper bag... I DON'T ARGUE WITH PEOPLE! If anything, he should know how much of a personal person that I am... if it weren't for this blog, so many people would really not know how to take me... then again, I can talk to my friends without them thinking I'm trying to argue with them.

Lastly, my Christianity... I have decided from this trip, that I cannot stand the whole be like everyone else mindset. Yes, I am a Christian, but I am no where as devout as my dad the Master of Divinity and my mom the preacher's wife. I feel like I have to be as praying out loud and Bible reading as them... I shouldn't have to feel that way. In all honesty, I believe that a person's relationship with God is just that... THEIRS. No one should feel obligated to do anything. Like, my mom... she always tells me that when I'm in church I should smile. WHY SHOULD I SMILE WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO SMILE ABOUT? I am sitting there listening to what is going on... why should I paint on the grin of a Cheshire cat... so other people in the audience can look at me and say, "Lawd'a mercy that boy's got the spirit comin' outta his ears! JEEEESUS, look at that smile! Hallelujah!" Frankly... I don't care what Sista So-and-so says about me... I go to church for God... not to parade around in leatheri shoes and a silk tie or so everyone can see my Crest smile.

Okay. I think I'm done. I said all of that to say, "and at the end of the day, blue is still blue." Blue is my favorite color and it is something that defines me. In the color blue I find peace and happiness. I could honestly stare smiling at a cloudless sky all day long (I guess that is how you could get me to smile in church). Just like blue is my favorite color, and day in and day out it will remain blue, I will be me... regardless of what anyone says. I hate that I come off as disrespectful and too logical, but it isn't my intention... I can only be me.

new brunswick

Well, I am here in the computer lab of the Hyatt Regency, New Brunswick and I just have a couple of things to report. I have to hurry because there is a hottie that needs in here in about 15 minutes!

1. New Brunswick is a very cool city. I lived here with my godparents the entire summer before 11th grade, but surprisingly enough, I have learned and seen more this weekend than I did all that summer.

2. Among what I learned, I learned that Rutgers University which is here in New Brunswick has one of the best graduate schools of education in the country... including my area or specialization. So, I am going to apply here as well as UGA. It should be good because I need a backup school to UGA and also, if I came here, I would really be getting out of my element.

3. Speaking of out of my element, I love the north. There are so many different types of people. It isn't just black and white... it's so diverse here and I absolutely love it (another plus for Rutgers). I went to New York City today... exciting, but honestly, WAY TOO BIG FOR ME!

4. I do not like sports. Call me a wus, pussy, pansy, loser... but I can't get into sports the way some people can. Being around my cousin and brother drives me insane though because all they do is watch SportsCenter all the time... I swear, if I hear anything else about Nomar Garciaparra, I will choke a bitch...

5. This vacation has been brought to you by my parents. My sanity has also been taken away by them.

6. I am ready to go back to camp... pack it up, and get it out! Important dates coming up...

8/7 - last day of camp, Missy's birthday
8/11 - MIRIAM AND MY 21st BIRTHDAY... YES... BRING OUT THE BUBBLY!
8/12 - section eaders and assistants report for band camp
8/13 - EVERYONE for band camp!
8/15 - THE RESERVE WITH THE COOLEST ROOMMATES KNOWN TO MANKIND!

Okay, that cutie can come back here and kick me out now! See you back down below the Mason Dixon...

it's a brotherhood

So a few minutes ago, as I was walking the kids to class, I spotted a rare specimen. A KKPsi brother that I didn't recognize. His royal blue shirt with the letters Kappa, Kappa, and Psi on the left breast made me jump to two conclusions:

1. As has happened before, someone has stolen a brother's shirt from the laundry.

2. He is a brother from another chapter.

He was walking out of Lowry as I was ushering the kids in to go to class. When he had passed me by, I looked at the back of the shirt to see if there was anything recognizeable about it or whether it gave a chapter name or event or something. All I could read were the words Alpha Sigma on the back of the shirt, so I immediately figured he was from the Alpha Sigma chapter.

Well, after all the kids had made it safely inside Lowry, I hurried behind the guy and the girl that was with him. I stopped him and asked him if he was a brother and he said yes. I introduced myself as a brother from Clemson and he told me that his name (I was so overwhelemed that I can't remember his name now). He and the girl that was from the Epsilon Xi chapter (Alpha Sigma was his pledge class) at The University of Miami, Ohio. He told me that he was at Clemson looking at graduate programs. He then asked if I could show them to Barre Hall. So, we began to walk and shared information about our respective bands and chapters. Then the girl spoke up. It turns out that she is a brother from Epsilon Xi too! (I remember her name) Her name is Christina and she is a sophomore accompanying the guy on his visit. I showed them to Barre and then we shook hands and went our separate ways. It was so cool... and it was just what I needed.

So many times, I get SO fed up with Kappa Beta and KKPsi here at Clemson. But in reality, Kappa Beta is such a small part of the big huge picture that is Kappa Kappa Psi. It is a HUGE brotherhood that spans the nation and for me to have such a negative attitude because of a few experiences I have with a small group of people out of thousands is ridiculous.

So, to simply sum it all up, I will quote a verse from our fraternity song...

This brotherhood that binds us all together
It will be strong and never will die
It's built on love we have for our fraternity
Here's a toast to Kappa Kappa Psi
To Kappa Kappa Psi!

people

::sigh::

Sometimes, I just get frustrated with people. I'm sorry. I just can't stomach some people... the people that take things WAY too serious... the people who think that what they say is gold and cannot be disputed... the people who talk down to other people just because they can... the people who think they've got it all figured out... the people who try to run stuff when things are meant to be a collaborative effort... the people who want to be grown but are in essence very immature...

These people make life difficult for me. These people are blogworthy... they inhabit my thoughts so much that I have to put them in here (this little "box" as the brothers of Gamma Xi say) so I won't have to think about them so much.

These people make me seem like a mean person. I'm really not. It's just these people... they just bring out the worst in me. I can't help it. Time after time, I sit there while some people are talking or being their obnoxious selves and try to keep my face from contorting into a scowl. Often, I just look like I am staring blankly into space or like I am just not interested... but in reality, EVERYTHING the person is saying is sinking deep deep within me and it is permeating the innermost layer of my soul... the part that even though is highly internal, it is the most sensitive. I hear what the person is saying sometimes, and I just say to myself, "Don't respond... Just thank God that you aren't like that." I mean, is that conceited? Yeah, I would imagine, 'cause frankly, some of the stuff that I sit through and listen to makes me feel "10 Times Stupid" as Nathan Smith once said.

I really do sit there and think to myself, "What am I getting from listening to this? Entertainment? Anger? Any emotion at all?" If I am getting entertainment, then I usually join into the conversation. If I feel like I am going to get angry, I usually listen intently and make my own comments in my head... only seldom do I share those comments with people (until recently). If I am not getting any emotion at all, then the conversation is nothing but words floating in the air... I'm usually completely aloof to these types of conversations.

I've said all of this to say, interaction with some people is pointless. I am just going to either be annoyed or bored with some people... so, I feel as if it would be best if I just kept to myself sometimes. I mean, I am not a recluse or anything. I honestly get emotionally disturbed when dealing with some people...

...So from now on, don't take my silence or absence as me being unsociable or sadiddy (I love that word). Some people are honestly just "wasting my life" as Penelope Taynt says.

the king of krunk

So I know just last week I told you that you could call me captain... and I know way back in December, I told you to refer to me as King Congruence. Well, my boys this week have dubbed me "The King of Krunk." I almost fell over laughing the first time I heard it. Lemme tell you how this name came to be...

So on Friday night, the last night for the ridiculous wastes of teenage boys known as "Archies," (architecture students) the biggest sausage fest on the planet was held in room 3C2. I know what you are wondering... how could they throw a party in a dorm room at a summer camp? Well, these kids did it. I came up to my hall and saw little 8th grade Andrew wearing 2 pairs of boxers, 2 pairs of shorts, no shirt, an open jacket with the sleeves rolled up, and two baseball caps. Following closely behind him was his roommate and fellow 8th grader, Daniel. Daniel had 2 pairs of boxers on and his shorts completely unzipped. Everything else about his outfit wasn't that terrible. When I asked them where they were going looking so stupid, they replied, "The party downstairs!" and shot past me. Well, when I got down there, there was seriously a line outside of room 3C2. There was a metal chair sitting on each side of the door and a kid in a black tank top, black shorts, sunglasses, and gelled hair standing in front of it. It was Matt (remember this kid for later in the entry). In the room behind him, there was loud techno music playing. He had a list in his hands that told him who could come into the room and who could not... Excuse me, not the room... The Club. Anyway, needless to say, my name was not on the list, but he said that if I was dressed "fly to super-fly," gave him $2 and/or a canned drink and/or food, I could get in. I then informed him that I was a counselor and could get in if I wanted to, laughed at him, and walked away. On the way back to my room, Will, one of those ridiculous architecture losers, walked by me in tight red pants, no shirt, and a black bowtie. You should know that the Archie boys were VIPs for this "party." So Will, as strangely as he was dressed, was going to get in regardless.

Well, once I got upstairs, I went into Zach's room, where most of my campers were congregated. Needless to say, they didn't get into the party. I then gave them a little pep talk explaining what a sausage fest was for them. I told them that it seemed a little strange that these scantily clad boys were all cramped into a small dorm room with the lights off (oh yeah, when the door to the party opened, I saw that the lights were off) and loud techno music. I harped on the fact that there were NO GIRLS in this room at all... then they realized that the party was the biggest loser fest ever. The boys really just had a bad case of sour grapes, but I tried to make them feel like they weren't missing anything. The real reason they didn't get in was because those Archies, who considered themselves SO cool, did not consider them cool. My campers definitely aren't the fratty type like these Archies and the Archie Entourage (campers that came the Sunday after the Archies first week who were kinda fratty and got in tight with them).

Anyway, we got to talking about some things and then they started poking fun at me talking about how I was an interesting character because I watched Jimmy Neutron and listened to Tipsy. I have to admit... it kinda doesn't match now that I just typed the two in the same sentence. But I told them that I was really a kid at heart and liked to do things kids do... like watch Nickelodeon ALL the time. Then I explained to them why I didn't want them to refer to me as Mr. Hamilton, sir, or counselor. Carl had called me counselor on the first night and I told him that it really made me feel weird. I was like, "Didn't you see my name on my door?" He was like, "Yeah, on that crown? You have lotsa crowns all over the place in there." (since I have been on this King Congruence kick, I have taken a strong liking to crowns... but I don't have many... just the crown from summer camp 2 years ago, my Burger King crown, and the crown on my door that has my name on it) Then Daniel spoke up and said, "Didn't you know? He's the King of Krunk!" They all laughed and I told them that I liked that name... so... now, they all refer to me as the King of Krunk.

The Matt kid that played bouncer outside of Sausage Fest 2004 got arrested later that night for smoking pot.

the captain and me

So, I guess it is really too soon for me to be sick of Captain from Castille. In all honesty though, I'm not really sick of it... It's just I have spent so much time listening to it today... I think I have finally got it completely memorized. The sad fact about this is, I have nothing better to do but listen to it and practice. Now I know that practice makes perfect, but I feel as if my life has become nothing but that song. That's not really a horrible thing either, it's just that I would much rather be doing something a lot more exciting. Here is the saddest analogy that I have thought about this song... it's my significant other... Ugh. Why do I have to look at it that way? I mean, I know that I don't have a significant other, but why did it even cross my mind? "Well, Hamilton, you shouldn't feel so bad about doing nothing but listening to this song, it's as if you were spending time with that special someone!" NO MA'AM! I don't want to think of it like that. I remember saying something similar about KKPsi when I was pledging... well, if KKPsi was my girlfriend, I think we broke up... that girl is a drama queen.

I dunno... it crosses my mind some... not as much as it used to I have to admit. Yeah, I'm single, and I have come to accept it as a blessing in some ways. I get to spend money solely on me... I don't have to tell anyone where I am or what I am doing... I can flirt with whoever I want (even thought I don't)... and I don't have to change my plans for anyone (Ben Folds told me not to do that). I mean, yeah, it's nice... but sometimes I can't help but be reminded of the rut that I have been in for the past 4 years. Oh well...

In other news, I met the new Seneca Band director today. I am SO EXTREMELY EXCITED FOR THEM! Matt Cox is great and is going to do AWESOME things with that band. I can tell already. He has his plan for taking them into the single digits at Upper-State, and I stand right behind him (I mean, I guess I have to... the man is putting me on paid staff... w00t!). Anyway, oh the things I have to look forward to... Captain in Tiger Band, being on staff in Seneca Band... oh if it would just hurry up and get here...

you can call me captain...

Captain from Castille, that is. It is the first song in Tiger Band's first show this season, and Dr. Spede has assigned me to conduct it. I am SO excited. It is a huge step up from the EWF Mega Mix I had last year. It is a really intense song. The marking at the beginning of the piece says "Menacing!" (yes, with the exclamation mark), so you know it's an exciting piece. Our other pieces are Los Suertos de los Tantos and the ever popular, Malaguena. This show is really going to be great. I just know it. It's got me so pumped about the upcoming season.

I'm listening to it right now and trying to memorize it by rote like I do best. Ironically enough, it seems like it is going to be a pretty big challenge. Last year when we got El Toro Caliente, I listened to it non-stop and knew it like the back of my hand... and it wasn't even my show! It seemed a lot easier to remember than this one. There are several different motives in this one, as El Toro wasn't so diverse. I have already listened to this at least about 30 times today and I am still struggling singing along with it. I'm motivated though.

Since it's my last year but only my second year as drum major, I really want to do my absolute best. Last year was definitely a learning experience. I will take all the things I learned and try to use them to be a phenomenal drum major. The main thing I plan on doing is just getting into the music and really feeling it. Kate always suggests writing a story about the song one is conducting. So, tonight in Short Bus Stories, I plan on writing about the Captain from Castille. It should be interesting... along with that, I need to update delightful* and put "Sigma Nu" (or "Sigma NO" as Jessica says) into dumb pe0ple AGAIN. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me...

But before I go, I must mention something that has bothered me ALL DAY TODAY. Y'all are going to think that this is ridiculous, but the series finale of Roseanne (I told you that you'd think it was ridiculous)... it apparently aired on Nick at Nite on Sunday. I can't believe how much I have fallen in love with the trashy midwestern family, the Conners. Well, Jessica was telling me about the final episode and about at the end they reveal that the entire show has been a story that the main character, Roseanne, is writing about her family. The story is only BASED on her family though, because unlike the show, in her real life, Dan died from his heart attack, Darlene ended up with Mark, Becky ended up with David, Jackie was gay, and her mother was straight. It really made me kind of upset! I know... how could finding out that something was made up upset me when in reality the WHOLE show, even the Roseanne who was writing the book, was made up? Well, it just goes to show you how people's emotions and thoughts are influenced in such a simple way. I never admitted to being such a Roseanne freak, but once I realized that the entire show was a story inside of a story, I felt a little hurt and disappointed... the people I had come to love and enjoy on the show really didn't exist in that capacity... even in TV life... the WHOLE thing was a big farce. Honestly though, I have to give it to Roseanne, who directed, produced, starred in, and wrote for the show... it was quite clever what they did. I REALLY want to see the final episode now and hear and see for myself. The whole thing reminds me of my writing a little bit. Even when I get to the end of delightful* (whenever that may be), none of it will have really happened... BUT, there are people who read it and enjoy it a lot. If I can make the finale as interesting and even disappointing as Roseanne, then I will feel like an extremely accomplished writer.

holy crap... there are 4 of them?

Yes. I now have 4 blogs. There is this one, delightful*, dumb pe0ple, and the newest, short bus stories. I was really bored, had nothing to write about in here, just wrote in delightful* yesterday and I like to keep at least a day in between entries in there, and had just written 2 short entries in dumb pe0ple. At the beginning of the first entry in short bus stories, I explained myself and the type of blog it is meant to be. I am really excited about it. Writing in it should definitely be a challenge. I had a blast writing "Jovitrice's Beetle." I like the randomness of this blog. It's not me, and it isn't me pretending to be someone else... it is nothing but fiction and I LOVE IT.

pendleton idols

So, I just updated delightful*. w00t. So, it's time to write about REAL life. The campers leave tomorrow... I have never been more happy to see a group of kids go. I feel horrible saying it, but these punks are driving me absolutely insane!

My day off right? Well, tell that to Oliver (who is a definite mix between Chuckie and Dudley Dursley) who was blasting his ridiculous music in the room right underneath me. Ugh. It makes me glad that there will be no one living under us in our new apartment.

Yes, we got our assignment this week! 101 A. At first Nick and I were a little upset... it's on the ground floor and we wanted a balcony. But last night after kareoke we went by the apartment to look at it a little more closely. The funniest thing about it is that it has 2 peepholes... one at eye level and one down low on the level of the doorknob. I think it is a handicap apartment.

Anyway, speaking of kareoke. I had a BLAST! We went to this place in Pendleton and right off the bat, it was a country sketch version of Clemson's TD's. But it was so funny. Betsy and I danced at first creating a huge scene... well, that was just the beginning. She intriduced me to some of her friends (Betsy really knows a lot of the older crowd... LOL) and they were just tickled by the fact that we are in Tiger Band. This one lady, who was as cute as she wanted to be found out that I was a drum major and about messed herselelf. "You are a drum major?! OHHHHHHHH!!! I can't believe I am touching a drum major for the Tiger Band! AAAAARRRGH!" While she was saying this, she was grabbing my hands and touching my chest and shoulders... I'm tellin' you, this woman wanted a sip of the Ham Mochachino! Well if that wasn't enough attention, you shoulda seen the reaction the whole restaurant gave Betsy and me when we sang Build Me Up Buttercup. I guess I really can sing! We had the place rockin'. This white gentleman came right up to me while I was singing and was like, "Sing it, brotha!" After we got done, we received thunderous applause and had people from all over the restauarant telling us how good we were. Nick even said that he had heard me sing before but never heard me sing like that. It was such a rush and so much fun. Betsy and I are definitely Pendleton Idols.

As for today though, it's back to the lowly life of a summer camp counselor... getting no respect from these kids and having to eat the gruel they call food at Harcombe Dining Hell. But on a brighter note, we got paid today and once again...

THE HELLIANS LEAVE TOMORROW!

an update...

Well, I haven't had much to write about this week... but right now, I'm waiting on Hoke so we can go eat lunch, so I figured I'd use this time wisely.

Believe it or not, this morning was pretty productive. I turned off Nick Jr. to work on Computer Science and I got my entire webpage done. So, I really have nothing to do. On top of that, I sent off for my UGA grad school application last night, so I am pretty on top of things. The only thing that I am pretty behind on is delightful*. I haven't written in there in a while. There was TONS of drama in there the last time I wrote, so I think I burned myself out. It makes me wonder about little miss J.K. Rowling. Where does homegurl get all that stuff to write about? I can't even get to the halfway point in The Order of the Phoenix. It's such a good book. I went to see The Prisoner of Azkaban for the second time last night. It was good.

The only problem last night was the kids that DIDN'T go see it. The boys that came back from the movies early TRASHED the 3rd floor. I can't even begin to tell you how shocked I was at the mess down there. Well, apparently, they have been stealing forks from the dining hall all week... and turning them into darts. It has been said that room 3D3 was a wreck... holes all over the place. I did see the holes in the freshly painted dookie colored wall by 3D6... these rooms are right where I lived all last year. I couldn't believe that what the crazy residents of 3D didn't do in a year, these "smart" teenagers did in less that a week. On top of that, they put dents in the wall outside of my old room, 3A7. The goth boys were playing hacky sack and scuffed up all the walls... instead of them being dookieblue... they are more like runny diarrhea...

Okay, so I had to go to lunch, 'cause hoke finally showed up. I guess I will finish up now, but there is no telling what direction this entry is going to go in now.

Actually, I don't think I'm gonna write any more in here... I REALLY need to write in delightful*. Hoke and Katie were asking me questions about it at lunch. Hoke also told me that he stops reading blogs when they don't get updated often... so I better jump on that... and keep up with this one. Talk to y'all later...

corey

Usually, I write about dumb pe0ple in dumb pe0ple, but since I have no desire to really write about this person, I decided to just mention his hame.

Well, camp has started once again... There are about 140 kids this week, so we have our hands full. I'm actually a little excited though. It should be fun.

What better way to start end my week off than a night with my friends, though?! Last night was the most fun I have had in a LONG time. It was Rob's surprise birthday party and in attendance were people like Missy, Erin, Jenee, Nick, Tex, and Tarik. Matt D. and Sam from Northwood were there too. Of course the people I see around here quite often were there... Betsy, Hoke, Bryce, Sammie, Kate, Deni, etc. It was SO fun to be with all of them again. On top of that, it's summer time, so there was no schoolwork to think about... well, I guess there is my computer science, but that class is a waste of my life. Anyway, along with the lack of schoolwork, there was no drama... It was great. At the end of the school year, I was a little peeved with some of my friends, but being around a lot of them last night was great.

Ironically, on Friday night, I was told that I have "quite the rep for drama." Yeah, go ahead and laugh... it was a funny statement. Not only is it an absurd statement, but it came from someone who doesn't know me at all. Apparently, my blog has not only given me international acclaim, but the aforementioned "rep for drama." The only dramatic things in here are about my beloved Kappa Beta. Since school is out and there is no KKPsi business to tend to, life has been pretty drama free. If I was a person with a "rep for drama" then I would obviously be involved in some right now. But as I said, last night was great.

I have a very exciting life... I know this. You know how I know? Because you are reading my blog... and if there wasn't anything exciting in here, then you wouldn't read it.

::raspberry::

thoughts on receiving a college ring

So two days ago, I got my Clemson University Class of 2005 ring. It was quite uneventful compared to the night that I got my Eastside Class of 2001 ring... No glitz and glamour. No friends there receiving their rings at the same time... no one to shake hands with... no one to take pictures of my new ring. I drove up to the Greer post office with $400 cash in my pocket ready to pay for my ring COD and no one was there but a bunch of Greer, SC bumpkins.

The lady that gave me my ring was really nice though. She asked, "Is this your ring?" and I replied that it was. She asked where I was grauduating from and I said, "Clemson." That is when it kinda hit me. There is less than a year standing between me and that degree. I can't believe that it is almost over. It's like it JUST started. Yesterday, I was recounting to Wilene, Katie, Bryce, and Julie about the first day of class freshman year when I cried walking back to my dorm from class because I missed Eastside so much. Now I stand on the edge of Clemson looking out over a completely unknown canyon.

I know that I want to go to grad school. I mean, that is pretty much a given. Until now, I had my heart set on the University of Georgia. But now that I am old enough and realize that Australia isn't really as unattainable as I once thought, I am seriously looking for grad schools there. Just today, Rebecca Poe (a former Tiger Band DM) IMed me looking for a couple football tickets. She told me that she is going to grad school at Nottingham University in England. I mean, that is so exciting! Little ol' Rebecca Poe going to LIVE and take classes in England. That was definitely a reassurance to me that I could go to Australia.

Tarik told me the other day that whatever I do, I need to get started pretty soon. If I am going to get any money to go anywhere, I need to apply now. Not just because it is best to apply early for money, but once the 2nd week of August hits, I am going to be RIDICULOUSLY busy with band, class, observing at Central Elementary, my awesome new apartment with my incredibly cool roomies... I just have tons to look forward to.

Just today I was thinking about how far it is until all that stuff happens. I mean, I can practically TASTE marching band... I can SEE myself in my new apartment... I just FEEL the excitement of being in that classroom at Central. I'm so ready for all of it. But, if I tell myself that I want to have applied for grad school by the end of July, then it doesn't look like I have that much time anymore. I mean, grad school... It just seems so bizarre. I'm ready though. A little lost, but definitely ready.

Up until now, I knew where I would be the following year. I knew in 5th grade that the following year I would be at Northwood in the 6th grade. In 8th grade, I knew that the following year I would be at Eastside in the 9th grade. I was even confident enough to know that in 12th grade, the next chapter in my life would be my freshman year at Clemson. Now that I am in the "16th grade" I don't really know what is next. I know what I want to do... but then again, I don't really know where I want to do it. Athens, GA; Australia... Where?

And another question that scares me even more... who will I experience this time with?

i lobe kate!

I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate! I lobe Kate!

Happy, Kate??? LOL.

a big weekend for delightful*

It's late... and I'm kinda tired... but I just wanted to toot my own horn about the entry I just wrote in delightful*. It is REALLY long and it took me about 2 hours to write, so I am really proud of it. For those of you who have kept up with Miss Delia Johnson, it is a huge turning point in her story.

I'm really glad I didn't give up on that blog. It is a lot of fun to write fiction. It is even more fun to write it as the narrative of something that is so NOT like me.

As Delia says, "Delightfully yours..."

my life at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry

So since tonight, I already told you that I was a foreign exchange student from England... well, here is a little bit of info about me and my "school" back in England...

Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Name
Age
House	GryffindorHufflepuffRavenclawSlytherin
Family Line	MugglebornHalf-BloodPure-Blood
Dated	James Potter
You are well known for	Managing to shag Snape.
Percentage of student body you shagged - 80%
How do the staff and students feel about you	They HATE you
This QuickKwiz by lady_ameily - Taken 131244 Times.

New - Dating Advice written by YOU!

the act

So, my dear friends Mandy and Whipple are pretty much the ONLY people from high school that I didn't graduate with that I still keep in contact with when I am home from college. Whenever we go out, we always do stupid stuff that is pretty much completely out of character. We normally go downtown and act as if I am a drug pushing pimp and they are my hos, and once I played Mandy's pretend older sister's black boyfriend (which was unacceptable to her pretend parents), Dexter Wendelequan Washington III (my nickname was Dex and I was SUPER rich). So, whenever we go out we had a blast. However tonight, we pretended to be people we aren't for the longest time that we have ever attempted it.

First of all, I have to preface this great story with a little episode that happened on Main Street downtown. So, we were walkin' trying to find a bathroom for Mandy and Whip when these ghetto hoochie-fied girls go, "Hey, were you with my mama last night?" I was like, "Wait a minute, does she look like you?" The girl was like, "Yeah." And then I said, "Well no, 'cause you're ugly." HAHA! It was so funny. But then this banshee lookin' loud mouth hot comb needin' slut girl comes up to me and is like, "You ain't talkin' 'bout her mama, 'cause then you talkin' 'bout my mama!" And I was like, "So? Why don't you come back and find me when you get an education." It was so great. I HATE DUMB PE0PLE! GAH!

Anyway, so after downtown, we went to the Waffle House on Roper Mountain Road. We decided to talk in our foreign exchange accents... Mandy and Whip do great Scottish accents and I do a pretty good English accent. Well, we talked in these accents for about a full hour and a half. We ordered in them, argued in them, and best of all, carried on a LONG in depth conversation with the Waffle House employees in them. We told them that we were foreign exchange students studying at Furman and we acted like we had no clue how things worked or were done in America. Our waitress, Shannon, was VERY anti South Carolina. She said that South Carolina was a weird place and that people were rude and backbiting and that she couldn't trust anyone. Then the two cooks came and started talking to us to. They were like, "So where are you guys from?" Mandy and Whip claimed to be from Iverness, Scotland and I said I was from London, England. They bought it SO EASILY!!! They kept asking us questions like why we decided to come to South Carolina and whether we liked it or not and when we were returning. They even told us all about the 4th of July (which they said was just an excuse to get drunk and act crazy along with every other holiday). They also warned us of how to talk to people and adress certain issues and people and how NOT to get caught drinking under age (we told them how much we missed the lower drinking age in our "native countries"). I even told them about how my "cousin Ivan" lived down the street from Hugh Grant's summer home in Leeds. The workers got a kick out of Mandy talking about how here father was a champion sheep herder and me professing my loyalty to the queen of England and my theory that Prince Charles would die before the queen and never become the head of the country. Mandy then proceeded to talk about the sexuality of Prime Minister Tony Blair and I started bashing the integrity of former President Bill Clinton. Then we started talking about the current President Bush... I said some horrible things about the man, and one of the cooks warned me not to say certain things about the President because if the right people were around, all it would take were a few phone calls and I could be shipped away. I told him to bring it on and send me back to England!!! It was SOOOO funny.

I had such a great time tonight. Tonight, ironically, helped me appreciate the country I live in. I'm not an Englishman, but I am an American. At night when I go to sleep, I have to realize that this is the country I reside in, and as long as I am here, I have to deal with the issues of this land. But, tonight also really got me interested in traveling to another country. I talked to my mom and while she doesn't like the idea of me LIVING for GOOD all the way in Australia, she says that it would be interesting for me to study over there... Who knows, maybe England is in the future for me as well...

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.

LOL.

happy f-ing fourth of july

I don't want to make this entry sound nonchalant... or angry... I really don't want this entry to have very much of a mood at all. I just want it to sound serious. I am not playing right now. The disappointment I have in my heart is something real and it's not meant to be taken for play, or is it meant to be taken as me being insanely upset. But, I am mad at this country and I want out.

Yeah... I know that this is a great thing to come by on the 228th anniversary of our independence, but things have just been escalating, and quite frankly, I have always thought of America as a big bully. So we whipped up on the Brits, Nazis, and Vietnamese, and now we are fighting in the middle east. I just want to live somewhere that doesn't have a history of fighting all the time. I mean, yeah, we were attacked on September 11, 2001... It sucked. It was sad. Lots of people died. Well, as elementary as this is gonna sound, does that mean that we have to avenge ourselves. We teach kids over and over again to treat others as we would like to be treated. Obviously, Al Qaeda and all those other middle eastern fellows (I don't know specifics... I try to stay out of all of this mess) aren't living by this golden rule, but if we turn around and bomb them and kill them, then we are jut making things worse. I know it seems as if I don't know what I'm talking about... I don't watch the news... mostly because I don't want to hear about this stuff. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that there is some heavy duty BS going on in the world, and the United States has a lot to do with it. Sure, we stand for freedom and all, but do we stand for freedom at the cost of innocent lives lost? I'm gonna stop talking about this in a minute, becase I KNOW that I don't know enough about all of this warfare and foreign policy and political crap to REALLY make a valid statement or be a legitimate voice of reason, but all I know is that in my ignorance, I have discovered that I don't WANT to know about all of this... I don't want to have to be worried with the affairs of my country. It is "my right" to have a say in what goes on, and not to have a say... I relinquish all of my rights to have a say in what goes on to the people who have a f-ing clue... Those loud mouth political people who can argue for hours on end about policy and all that BS... I really wouldn't like to be bothered with that mess. I know it is QUITE unpatriotic of me, but if you ask me, the only time America is really patriotic is when 50,000 people die in two 110 story collapsed buildings or the 4th day in the month of July. We are such fair weather citzens... But like I said, I'm not going to talk about it anymore, because I DON'T know what I'm talking about... Just getting my thoughts out is enough for me.

But I am going to do something about it. I have ALWAYS always ALWAYS wanted to move to Australia. When I think of paradise, I think of this little continent sitting humbly in the cool waters of the South Pacific. I think I said it in one of my more recent entries that I am moving there... I have made up my mind that I really am. This school year, I am going to do a lot of research and find out what I can do to go there. I would love to go there for grad school and maybe start my life there then, but if I have to, I would go to grad school there and then move out there. Regardless, I want to go there TO LIVE. I've always wanted to live in Sydney. TELL ME that this isn't beautiful...
So on first glance, this place wins. I am pretty ignorant about Australia and it's politics too, so I think that I am going to definitely have to research that too. But, from what I can tell, they seem to stay out of worldly drama... and the big bad United States hasn't had to go and intervene to help them in any way, so it would seem to me that they are a pretty okay group of "mates." But like I said, I am going to research. I gotta get up out of this land of the free and home of the so brave that they have to go fight everyone else's battle for them...