::SIGH:: and NOT the KK kind

Let's just say, shit happened. Let's just say that nothing seems to improve for me around here. Let's just... not talk about it... One more meeting left for the year, and then it's summer... and THEN I will worry about it again... or maybe I won't...

ANYWAY... to the things that really matter in life. Today has to have been the BEST Thursday ever... aside from all that KK crap. And, I think it all happened because of Brent Igo going to San Diego this week. There was no ED F 302 today. And that has made all the difference. Hehe. I woke up at 8:45 (yes... this is a good thing... normally it's 6:45) and started off the day with Math Methods. It was fun acting like a kindergartener, and then a 2nd grader, and a 4th grader... then we got our review sheets for the exam. ELEVEN CHAPTERS... NONE of them actually TAUGHT by our teacher. WTF? Yeah, so that put a damper on the day. Then I went to PE. I take back all the awful things I said about PE... at least for today. We played around in Fike... learned this really fun and EXTREMELY funny way to play kickball... it was great. Then speech... well, I delivered my portfolio speech... and much to the disappointment of Laura Allen of Delta Delta Delta, I DID apologize to Kelsey for being so gangsta in my speech about NCLB. She laughed, and the rest of the class laughed too at the lengths I went to to bash her little speech to hell. So, SPEECHES are done in speech. I still have a buncha crap to do that I have to turn in by Tuesday. Speaking of speech... can I just talk about someone in my class that I just love to look at... ::sigh:: Wow. NICE eye candy.

Anyway, about the aforementioned KK Conspiracy (which it will be called from now on... hopefully, it won't be called anything for much longer), I will say that my disappointment is not at one person in particular, but rather an entire group of people. This group of people is not necessarily EC. I talked to Miriam tonight face to face and one on one, and I appreciate her for being the leader that she is... however, things aren't settled with me. I'm not going to stir shit up and keep bringing it up, but I am not the brother that I was 2 weeks ago. My outlook on Kappa Beta has changed tremendously, and I don't know what I am going to do. Like I keep saying to Missy and to myself, at least there is only one more chapter meeting left in the year.

But... for the record, I would like to say:

Alan: You are my big brother, and I am proud to tell anyone that. We didn't see eye to eye for a small part of the year, but that's okay, and I am glad that I requested someone as intelligent, loyal, and caring as you for a big brother. I will always appreciate you for the guidance you gave me while going through my process. You are an AWESOME big brother.

Missy: Part of me wants to say I'm sorry... I helped bring you into this, and now you are hurting just like me. But I want you to know that I am SO, SO, SO, SO glad that YOU are my little brother. No matter what ANYONE says, I will have your back... I want you to know that. And even in all of this, I'm there with you, little bro. I love you as much as you love pink.

Bryn: My baby... PLEASE do not let any of this that is going on with me affect your experience with KKPsi. It is an absolutely AMAZING organization... You should be PROUD that you made it into the circle. I am so proud of you and I am so thankful that through your process we have grown into great friends. I think of you and Missy as my responsibility, even though you are now brothers. I will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what happens. You can always count on your big brother. I love you so much, and I wish you nothing but divine harmony as you start your career as a brother.

Erin: Grandbaby... I can't believe that I have a grand-little. I'm so glad that it's you though! You are such an awesome girl and I see great potential in you... as a brother and a teacher! It's great to have an individual as soft, caring, and sweet as you in Kappa Beta. You are gonna do great things... Your spirit is the best thing about you, and I just love being around you. You make me happy, and you make me happy to call you my grand-little. I love you tons.

So those are the shout outs to my immediate family... My big, littles, and grand-little. I just wanted them to know that no matter what happens, I am glad that I was blessed with a fraternal family like I have. Two AWESOME littles, an INCREDIBLE big bro, and a SUPER sweet grand-little. So yes... there are good things about KB. Two of which I am halfway responsible for... I dunno what I am going to do. All I know is that... well... I dunno anything anymore. There are hardly any absolutes. I guess I do know that the people I mentioned above are very special to me, and I am glad that the fraternity afforded me the opportunity to have them in my life.