the tiger???

Well, today, George from high school IMed me and suggested that I write for our newspaper, The Tiger, next year. To be honest, I had thought about it before, but always thought that my type of writing would be unacceptable. George writes about politics and stuff, and I write about trivial everyday stuff... I mean, I know I am quite opinionated... he actually thought I would be good because of the stuff I write in here. He said that my Tri-Dilta story was really good. However, I know that if I were to write crap like that in the Tiger, I would have 3 triangles burned in my front yard back in Greenville or something. Anyway, he told me that it would be perfectly fine for me to write funny everyday stuff. There is a guy that writes there right now, Matt Williams, who is HYSTERICAL. He is a muse of mine. He is a good writer and really funny.

Well, I sent off a sample of my writing for them... and hopefully, I'll have my own column right there next to Matt Williams next year. It will be good to have that to do... I will have a little more spare time next year...

Anyway, this is what I sent off to The Tiger. I let Nick read it, and he said it was good and even blogworthy. I knew I'd probably put it in here anyway, as it is something that I would put in here. It is a little subdued though... It's not completely Ham, but I think anyone would be able to tell that it is still me... mentions of Vera, our little sorority chicas, the stereotypical ed majors, and even a little Missy-ism up in there. Enjoy...

Sometimes, I just don’t understand people. Correction: I simply don’t understand people. Why, you may ask? Well, all of my confusion with people can be tied to their actions on a cold, rainy day in April. Why yes, Tuesday April 14, to be exact. It started as soon as I left my dorm. I guess the first person I didn’t understand was myself. I knew that it was raining when I looked out the window, but dumb me didn’t take a jacket of ANY sort. This could be attributed to the fact that I had a new shirt on and didn’t want any rain gear covering it up, or because I thought that a little rain wouldn’t hurt. Yeah. I’m gonna stick with the latter. But I did have a hat! That makes everything a little better. Right? Anyway, not wearing a jacket is even dumber because I left my umbrella in a friend’s room yesterday. However, I knew she was going to bring it to me at our class that morning, so I thought nothing of it.

Well, if I wasn’t enough of a stupid person, I see a stupid person walking out of a dorm with no hat and no umbrella. By this time, the little spittle of rain that had been falling had turned into a few drops short of a monsoon. This individual wasn’t making haste to where he was going either. Was he killing two birds with one stone and walking to class and getting a shower all at the same time? Yeah. I hope so, too. I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt.
I then had another thought on the way to class: what about those poor free spirits that wear sandals with everything? Were they really out in this downpour in sandals? Before I could open my mouth and say “Teva,” I saw her. The cute and oh, so fragile sister of some Greek organization—with her sandals, Capri pants, Clemson hoodie, and Vera Bradley bag. I shouldn’t poke fun at her. I’m sure she thought she was workin’ it.

After a few classes in Tillman, slipping across the floors wet from the shoes (or probably sandals) of education majors extraordinaire, I ventured outside again. By this time, the rain had stopped and left a cold, cloudy sky. I then saw all the people who had been attacked by old the murky waters of the puddles that lay in the eroded walkways of campus. You know, like the one that leads from Cox Plaza to the front of Brackett Hall. Well, the victims of these puddles were the unsuspecting, easy going, carefree guys that wore their baggiest, saggiest, droopiest jeans. I’m sure that they had no clue that their jeans were going to be so muddy and unacceptable after the morning’s showers. No. I take that back—those same guys are the ones that ride around campus in their mud covered Jeeps that they went off-roading in last Saturday.

Finally, later that evening, with the air still moist and even colder since the sun had gone down, I saw the epitome of tragedy: the sleeveless mid-drift with Rainbow sandals. At this point, I must stop and simply bow my head in prayer for this girl. Or maybe I should pray for her parents for not teaching her the appropriate way to dress when it is cold and wet outside.

Or maybe I should just pray for myself—I really don’t understand people.