i told...

I am so weak... I told someone else about the crush... I had only told one person, but it was a person that I don't see and is not around me or my crush on a regular basis. But now, I told someone that I see all the time... but I thought about it, and decided that it is probably a good thing. My dad says I keep things bottled up inside me too much... so to let one more person know isn't horrible. While I hope that it isn't a disaster, I think that it will be good. I now have a sounding board for when I need to vent about it. But, NO ONE ELSE! I promise myself. I cannot even fathom the crush finding out about it. Talk about World War III...

Anyway, I'm gonna talk about how cold and lonely I am right now... It's in-CRED-ibly cold... we've got sleet/snow/freezing rain goin' on, and classes are cancelled tomorrow until noon... yay. I only have one class tomorrow, and it is at 3:35. Oh well... can we talk about how ridiculously boring the next 16 hours are going to be... cabin fever. Alone in here with nothing but this computer and TV. I usually HATE when people HAVE to sleep in the same bed with their significant other every night... It's annoying to think that two people can't be apart when they are sleeping... the most alone time of the day for EVERYONE... but... lately I have been thinking to myself how nice it would be to fall asleep in the arms of someone else... to be warm and know that the person next to you loves you so much that they would sacrifice the comfort of their own university issued extra-long twin bed to cram into YOUR university issued extra-long twin bed. And other reasons of course... I just can't help but be a little cynical right now...

...after a L O N G time of being as single as a Wendy's 99 cent single (wait, that's not incredibly single 'cause you can mix and match with other items on the 99 cent value menu!), I can't help but hate the things that I see couples do... not because it sucks... but just because of being jealous. It's just like what my parents told me in elementary school... people made fun of me because I was smart and making good grades and they weren't, so they made fun of me... "Oh, how the table's have turned." Now, I'm being the punk and making fun of couples. I don't think it's wrong either... I mean, if they are so hurt by little old me making fun of them in my blog, then they can go run to the arms of their valiant prince or dainty princess and find relief.

And since we are on the subject of the things couples do and say... here's one... that was just brought to my attention by Patrick... "that's when they say things happen... when you're not even lookin' for them." My response: "yeah... but I don't believe it though." And I don't. As Jenee once said, "It's all about the chase." And it is... EVERYTHING we do is about "lookin' for them." It's in the way we dress, the way we brush our hair, the kind of car we drive, the career we choose, the place where we live... it is. So no one EVER stops looking... except people who are HAPPILY married. And you know that someone is happily married when they go out in public lookin' like whodunit and why... 'cause they have no reason to look good and impress anyone... they HAVE the person they want, and they don't need to put on any Dolce and Gabanna or Merle Norman to catch anyone's eye. I look at myself... getting a haircut weekly (or at least in a perfect world, that is what I would be doing), wanting SO badly to get my contacts and get rid of these glasses in front of my face, going to the gym to work out... What really makes me think that doing these things are going to make me SO desirable??? In reality, I think I am a pretty good guy as I am. I might not have a fresh cut all the time, or gorgueous eyes, or a perfect physique, but I am nice, caring, have a pretty good sense of humor, and have the desire to love someone unconditionally with everything that I am. Obviously, that isn't enough...

...and it's why I wrote all this just to say... I told...