time to write!

Okay... so I left off last night without finishing all my thoughts... I really didn't have a WHOLE whole lot to write about... but I mean, do I ever really? However, I was really excited that I got through a whole entry without mentioning the crush. Go Ham. I was too busy goofing off with Nick... I love that boy... my little "nephew!" Last night, he, Patrick and I goofed off the rest of our snow day up here in my room. It was a blast.

Anyway, I guess tonight, I will write about the whole idea of infatuation... First of all, I hope I spelled that right... Secondly, it's really sickening if you think about it. How in the world could anyone let one person in the world inhabit their every thought? I have fo nucking clue... but it happens... to the best of us. Am I infatuated with the crush? I have been infatuated before... last April... it was tragic. But back to the the question... am I? I don't think so... despite what this blog may show. And I know that the stuff I write pisses people off sometimes... especially all my ranting and raving about all of the "2 person single entities" walking around all the time... but it's QUITE alright... I believe Nick is INFATUATED with my journal... he's an avid reader... and Tarik told me this afternoon that he has been pissed off that he hasn't been able to read it in 2 days because his power is out at home. So people like it, and it is entertaining... better it be entertaining than depressing...

Anyway, I digress... So this whole subject of infatuation... I'm a little upset that God allowed so much space in our brains to be taken up by such petty things... and that is ALL petty things, not just little play play crushes... but seriously... with the crushes/infatuations... There is so much more to life than who we end up with or who we are boinking at any particular time... it reminds me of what Missy and I have been learning in Igo's class... Imagine that there is a little orb in your mind that is everything you know about trees... lets say that you know in 2nd grade you got stuck in a hollowed out tree at a family reunion... well, that little tidbit of information about the hollow tree at the family reunion is not just in the little tree orb, but also in the family reunion orb... so you think about your family reunion and how you always had ribs at family reunions... so THAT orb is connected to everything you know about ribs... and then there is the fact that Chili's serves baby back ribs... and yadda yadda yadda... LOOK AT ALL THAT NONSENSE!!! And yet... there is still room for how much you like _______ and how awesome your a r-thingy could be with _______ and how willing you are to care for _______ (insert whoever's name you want in there... Jenee know's who my person is... hehe).

Anyway, my point is (and this is intended for a special someone... it's not just me discussing my "pathetic" situation), with all the crap that we ALL go through, the little spot in our minds reserved for random wishes and daydreams about a special someone is there for a reason... it's part of our life... and no matter how petty it seems to anyone, even oneself, it is important... as all feelings are. Feelings of love, grief, anger, betrayal, sadness... they are all little orbs connected to one another, and one feeling is no more important than the other... so do I feel bad about crushing on _______? HA! Nope. Do I feel bad that that is what I write about in my heralded blog? HA! Nope. Do I have other feelings besides that of adoration for _______ ('cause remember, it's not infatuation)? HA! YES (gotcha)!

In conclusion... I am not infatuated with the crush... and my mind is worth more than a bunch of mushy "I love so and so" crap... the funny thing is, "I'm totally crushing," and I get a little ridiculed, but the people that are "totally" dating whoever the hell are the ones that are doing the ridiculing... and doing the complaining 'cause they are being teased so immensely by their boyfriend/girlfriend-impaired counterparts... so once again I say to those individuals... they can go run to the arms of their valiant prince or dainty princess and find relief. (see the i told... entry)

I think I've got a new catch phrase...