miriam writes songs

Miriam writes songs. I write in my blog. I wish that I could put my thoughts into a lyrical form. All I do is sing 4 songs in my head over and over and over and over day after day after day after day... "For Always," by Atlantic Star; "The Luckiest," by Ben Folds; "Please Forgive Me," by David Gray; and "White Flag," by Dido. These songs really do express all the feelings going through my head about my present situation... "For Always" says:

Ooh you're like the sun, chasing all of the rain away.
When you come around you bring brighter days.

"The Luckiest" has a part that hits me every time I hear it. It is pretty long and I copied it in here once before, so I won't do it again. But it talks about an old man who died and his wife died a few days after him due to the fact that she couldn't stand living without him. It's really tender and it talks of a love that would be incredible to find.

"White Flag" keeps me holding on. The chorus talks about how despite the fact that it might not be kosher to have the feelings that I have because of our friendship, I'm not going to just quell my feelings and give up:

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

"Please Forgive Me" is a powerful song. I first heard it in Matt Sparrow's car on the way back from Carowinds in 12th grade. We must have listened to it all the way from Charlotte to Greenville. I never really listened to the words because I was so enthralled with the techno/canon type instrumentals in the song. But now, I understand the lyrics. I love this song. It is how I feel:

Please forgive me if i act a little strange
For I know not what I do
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Every time I look at you
Every time I look at you

At the end of "Please Forgive Me," it says "Everytime I look at you" 4 times... that line is so true... It's just like what I said in my last entry... it makes me smile. I wish I could honestly, really, and truly just openly and freely declare how I feel about the crush, but just like the song says, "Help me out here all my words are falling short / And theres so much I want to say." I can't do it. But it makes me smile. One day, like Tarik told me, the time will present itself... And Andy just said the same thing to me a few minutes ago. I honestly feel that when the time come's I'll be ready, and the inspiration from these songs will help me get my thoughts out... Now, I just keep letting all this marinate... smiling... thinking of the brighter days possibly ahead. And just how lucky I would be if all this works out in my favor. I won't throw my hands up and surrender... Ill just keep smiling... everytime I look... at the crush.

On a less serious note... any of you Homestar Runner fans, are you ever reminded of The Cheat" when I say "the crush?" Like, they never refer to The Cheat as just "Cheat." It's always "THE Cheat." And I'm always like, "THE crush." It's kinda funny.

And if you don't think of The Cheat, maybe you think of Crush soda... I do.