sorority girls

I was sitting at the Barnett Desk and I felt the need to vent. First of all, let me explain that Barnett Hall houses 3 national sororities: Alpha Delta Pi, Kappa Delta, and Kappa Alpha Theta. Now before everyone goes around saying that I don't like sorority girls, let me just say that I have great friends in all 3 of these sororities including others. But, after sitting at that desk for hours at a time watching tons of over-excited girls go in and out of the building, I can't help but be annoyed with some of them.

First of all... whiny chicks. I HATE listening to girls whine to their boyfriends about why they can't spend time with them or why Anna Catherine is pissing the WHOLE sorority off. So, this pet peeve is not just about my greek ladies, but EVERYONE that whines.

Secondly, must you always be excited about EVERYTHING? I know it is soooo cool that Courtney Jane just pledged Delta Theta Gamma at C of C and she is coming to visit this weekend with her hot boyfriend the Epsilon Rho from Wofford, but not everyone within a 20 foot radius of you cares!

Thirdly, Vera Bradley is a ho and she is laughing at you 'cause she's got you carrying around that geriatric grandma bag lookin' like you pledged in Fall '71 rather than Fall '01.

Fourth: Vera's little creation is also not cute when worn with workout attire. Neither are pearls.

Fifth: This goes out to all the two faced sistas out there. If you speak to me when no one is around, but then later you are walking with your Tri-Eta girlies and you are too cool so speak, save yourself the trouble and don't speak the first time. If you don't want to know me unless you are alone and your sisters aren't around, just don't know me at all... THANKS!

Sixth: Tone deaf white girls with no rhythm should not "shake it like a Polaroid picture."

Seventh: Whoever told you that Diet Coke was gonna trim down that waist for spring break in Cancun lied to you. I bet it was Vera again. Damn that bitch, Vera!

Eighth: Going to the gym should not be a major production. Everytime I hear girls leaving to go to the gym, they are discussing what they are going to do... Honey, it doesn't matter... This whole gym thing is just a fad for you anyway! And besides, later tonight, you'll be up in your room vegging out with your sisters watching syndicated reruns of The Bachelor: Part 7.

Ninth: Like, OMG! If you are in a sorority, you HAVE to have a North Face/Patagonia jacket... and it HAS to cost at least $300.

Tenth: WHEN YOU LEAVE THE BUILDING, TAKE YOUR F***ING ID CARD WITH YOU! MY JOB DESCRIPTION DOES NOT INCLUDE GETTING UP EVERY 5 MINUTES TO LET IN BRATTY, STUCK UP, SNOTTY GIRLS WHO HAVE HAD EVERYTHING IN LIFE DONE FOR THEM BY A BUTLER NAMED HERMAN BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO GOOD TO CARRY THEIR ID CARD TO THE GYM IN THEIR VERA BRADLEY PIECE OF S***!!!

...Love you, girls!!! Mean it! Wanna be you for Halloween!