I WANT AN AKA!

Okay... I have TONS to write about today. TONS. I must outline first:

1. How Sweet it is to Oversleep
2. The Love and Hate R-thingy with PE
3. Admitting Defeat: Part I
4. The Perfect Major
5. Missing the Afterschoolers
6. Admitting Defeat: Part II
7. I WANT AN AKA!

I think that's it. Today while all of this was happening, it seemed like there were more things that were blogworthy. But, I guess not. If so, I guess they will come to me...

How Sweet it is to Oversleep

I have noticed that when I oversleep for my Tuesday/Thursday classes, I generally have better days as a whole. I overslept today... not meaning to of course. But, I did. I woke up and noticed that it was brighter than normal outside. Well, it turns out that I woke up at 7:51. That left me 9 minutes to wash off, get dressed, and walk across campus to Tillman. So, needless to say, that didn't happen. Lucky for me, out of the 2 absences allowed in Brent Igo's class, I had only missed one. So, I was safe. Well, it turns out that Missy grabbed my nametag at the beginning of class thinking I would show up, even though I didn't. So, I got out easy. But, anyway, the day was just better. I didn't fall asleep in any classes, didn't feel lethargic or anything. And that leads me to my next topic of the day...

The Love and Hate R-thingy with PE

I have a love/hate r-thingy with PE. So, at first I liked it. It was different from my other classes, and refreshingly better than my other PE classes in grade school. Then came the stupid things like the learning center and integrated lessons. I hated it then. Then, just last week on Thursday we played that hella tight game of kickball and it was so fun. Then, today happened. We had to make crap out of panty hose. Why am I getting 3 hours college credit for that mess? We had to listen to Dr. Smith tell us the story behind using panty hose to make PE equipment. It was so tragic. That class should be called "How to Make Toys for Title 1 Schools." Tragic. So yes, I hate PE again. I think this will be the final emotion for PE since I don't have anymore classes this semester.

Admitting Defeat: Part I

So guess what... I get an F. I mean, I didn't get an F in a class. But, I have not done as well as I usually do in most classes when it comes to Speech. I truly have not done as well as I would have liked to. Most of my grades have been in the 80s. I know I got an 88 on one and an 84 on one. Those aren't acceptable grades. Believe it or not, the speech about No Child Left Behind (that so horribly ripped dear Kelsey apart) only got a grade of 79. Just today, I got my first A in the class... this A was the lowest A possible. A 90 on my portfolio speech. I was glad that I finally got an A, but I was a little upset that it was only a 90. So, I will admit defeat that I am not that good at public speaking. Or at least that is what my grades in the class show. I do think that I can effectively communicate though... I mean, hello, you are reading this. But, I will admit defeat and give myself an F. COMM 250 has not been my forte this semester.

The Perfect Major

So, today I went to Kellett like I do every Tuesday and Thursday. Today, I felt really good about going today. I walked in and played with Melvin, one of my favorite kids there. He is a little hispanic boy and his accent cracks me up, as well as his overall demeanor. We played with Lincoln Logs for most of the time. Later, I started playing with foam blocks with Rashon and Simon. It was SO much fun. I had a difficult time imagining with them at first... they were building a "skate park" type thing. I couldn't see how the structure on the table was a skate park at all, but I tried really hard, and after about 20 minutes, I started imaginigng along with them. After we played with the blocks, we started cleaning up. I picked up the bin and had the boys throw them into the box. It was SO much fun. I got them to put the blocks away AND we were having a good time. It was awesome. I really felt like I was doing something completely constructive and teaching them to clean up and doing it in a fun way (which helped them practice their fundamental skills... Dr. Smith would be proud). It made me feel likt I am in the right major.

Missing the Afterschoolers

So, this whole epiphany with the kids at Kellett has made me think twice about leaving them for the year on Thursday. It will potentially be the last time I see them. I'm trying to work it where next semester I only do Seneca Band. But anyway, after playing with the kids at Kellett and then going late to Seneca Middle today and having them get mad at me for showing up late, I though, geez... I'm gonna miss these kids. It seems as if I never really appreciate things until they are gone or over. Turns out that I feel the same way about this.

Admitting Defeat: Part II

Well, I bet you are just thinking that today was quite an humbling day for King Congruence. If you are thinking that, then you are thinking correctly. The second time today that I admitted defeat was when I got to look at the scores for Seneca's show next year. I have listened to the CD to the point that I can sing it, but I never knew the time signatures, which is kinda necessary since I'm going to have to coach the drum major next year. Well, I got the sheet music, and I come to find out that the entire 4th movement is in two different time signatures that alternate by measure. it goes 9/8 and 12/8 back and foth all throughout the piece. I was so flabbergasted. I have never conducted anything like that, and have never been taught how to either. So, I started panicking. I started calming down when I reasoned with myself and said that I could just talk to Dr. Spede about it. Luckily, I didn't have to go that far. After talking it out with Nick, who was a drum major in high school, we decided that it would be possible to conduct the whole thing in 3. I THINK that will work. I still might go ask Dr. Spede. It is okay for the king to ask for help and admit when he is uncertain.

I WANT AN AKA!

So, in math methods today, Shuntay, a new soror of ALpha Kappa ALpha (they say it like that, with emphasis on "AL-") Sorority here at Clemson invited us to come see her at her coming out show. So, Ellen, Sarah, Kalani, and I told her we would go see her. All I have to say is work the pink and green! Those girls are SO FABULOUS. And I want one. They were so elegant and so dignified. I do believe their line name was "The 3 Dozen Divas of Elegance." I think that is what it was. They are just SO AWESOME! It just makes me happy to see a black Greek community here at Clemson. We have all of the Divine 9 but one now. It's like overnight (literally) there were 2 new sororities, and now we have 8 total NPHC organizations... hmm... It is very exciting. The show was just full of excitement and fun, and we were so proud of Shuntay. It's cool to have a friend in ALpha Kappa ALpha Sorority, Inc.

Okay, I believe that is it... I haven't written since Saturday, so I have been getting a little behind again. There has been a little stuff going on. Not a lot. As for KKPsi... "I'm movin' on," as Rascal Flatts said. And moving on includes not serving as a committee chair... so everyone can stop asking me that. I also moved along the role as caller to Jenee... I didn't feel like doing it on Sunday, so I passed it to Jenee... she really wanted it. She will do a good job with it. The fratetnal year is pretty much over... now I just need for the academic year to end, and I'll be good. I'm ready for summer, my new job, turning 21, moving into The Reserve, and my last marching season with Tiger Band... and whatever new things will come in the future.

rubbin' the bald head

This weekend has once again been unproductive. Luckily, there isn't a lot to do. I just have a little bit of ish to do. I'll probably do it tomorrow. But I'm not gonna dwell on it. This weekend has been uber-fabulous.

It started yesterday at our RA staff retreat. Now, I know that I have said some pretty horrible things about being an RA... but yesterday was really fun. In all honesty, I have done group initiatives like we did yesterday with lots of groups... even facilitated stuff. I seriously haven't been with a greater group. We worked really well together... and had an AWESOME time. A lot of times, I don't enjoy doing some of those things because I have done them so much and even facilitated activities. But yesterday, the group dynamics made that experience so much cooler than any other time I had done that stuff. It was great. I REALLY am going to miss this job and the people that it has helped me build friendships with. Being an RA has REALLY been a rewarding experience...

Then, I went to Jenee's last night. That was a lot of fun. First of all, Patrick and Nick came... this was great because they had kinda been on the outs with Jenee for a while... but it turns out that a little of Jay's burnt chicken, 6 boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, and ridiculously sweet tea can help heal some wounds. We had a good time... just goofing off... talking about ish, watching The Inferno and XXX... It was a lot of fun.

This morning, I went to the KKPsi car wash. Needless to say, I wasn't really excited about going. But it turns out, that I had a good time. Honestly, it seemed as if everyone was happy and no one seemed to have a problem with me. I am feeling really insecure around some brothers right now, but I didn't feel any animosity at all today. I actually had a good time. We washed a few cars, listened to Maroon 5, and ate McDonalds. It was good.

After the car wash, Missy and I had some bonding time. We went to Anderson Mall, and met up with Nick and Patrick. Actually, this time we went to Anderson Mall, there weren't that many tragic people at all. There were a few groups of tragic Westside High Schoolers... not too many super tragic people. The funny thing about Anderson Mall is that we never go past American Eagle when we go there. We usually only go into 3 stores before we bore and leave. We go to Express, American Eagle, and Gap. Express is strictly for window shopping purposes... I usually pick out stuff that I will wear when I actually have a job that can support my expensive tastes. LOL. The last couple of times we went (including today), I bought stuff from American Eagle. Today I got these shoes... they're really cool. I'm gonna wear them tonight. They'd be really cool with some colored socks...

Anyway, then, the 4 of us went to Olive Garden and ate ourselves silly. Patrick had $50 worth of gift certificates, so Nick, Patrick, and I all got the $14 Tour of Italy. Missy got some shrimp pasta thing and this $2 bottle of Italian imported water. Yes... It acually tasted different... I was skeptical at first too, but it really tasted different.

Anyway, to refer to the title of this entry, I must backtrack to GOING to Anderson. Missy and I were in the car singin' all loud and carefree like we normally do, and all of a sudden the woman in front of us in the passenger seat reached over to the man in the driver's seat and rubbed his bald head! It was so sweet... He was just driving, and she was just there caressing his head. It was so tender. Missy and I both almost had a fit. We both agreed that it was a blogworthy moment. It made me want an r-thingy really bad... I thought it was so sweet.

Speaking of r-thingies, I forgot something that happened today. We went to Lucy's Love Shop in order to pass the time waiting for Olive Garden. Let's just say THAT was an experience. The girl working in there was a trip and a half... half the time she was hitting on Missy, the other half, she was showing us how some of the toys worked. It was really funny. Patrick, Nick, and I were amazed at some of those gadjets and stuff. I think the most interesting one would have had to been the one called "The Butt Banger." Haha... yeah.

Anyway, there are several parties tonight. I hope they are fun. I'm gonna go and start making preparations... lata...

::SIGH:: and NOT the KK kind

Let's just say, shit happened. Let's just say that nothing seems to improve for me around here. Let's just... not talk about it... One more meeting left for the year, and then it's summer... and THEN I will worry about it again... or maybe I won't...

ANYWAY... to the things that really matter in life. Today has to have been the BEST Thursday ever... aside from all that KK crap. And, I think it all happened because of Brent Igo going to San Diego this week. There was no ED F 302 today. And that has made all the difference. Hehe. I woke up at 8:45 (yes... this is a good thing... normally it's 6:45) and started off the day with Math Methods. It was fun acting like a kindergartener, and then a 2nd grader, and a 4th grader... then we got our review sheets for the exam. ELEVEN CHAPTERS... NONE of them actually TAUGHT by our teacher. WTF? Yeah, so that put a damper on the day. Then I went to PE. I take back all the awful things I said about PE... at least for today. We played around in Fike... learned this really fun and EXTREMELY funny way to play kickball... it was great. Then speech... well, I delivered my portfolio speech... and much to the disappointment of Laura Allen of Delta Delta Delta, I DID apologize to Kelsey for being so gangsta in my speech about NCLB. She laughed, and the rest of the class laughed too at the lengths I went to to bash her little speech to hell. So, SPEECHES are done in speech. I still have a buncha crap to do that I have to turn in by Tuesday. Speaking of speech... can I just talk about someone in my class that I just love to look at... ::sigh:: Wow. NICE eye candy.

Anyway, about the aforementioned KK Conspiracy (which it will be called from now on... hopefully, it won't be called anything for much longer), I will say that my disappointment is not at one person in particular, but rather an entire group of people. This group of people is not necessarily EC. I talked to Miriam tonight face to face and one on one, and I appreciate her for being the leader that she is... however, things aren't settled with me. I'm not going to stir shit up and keep bringing it up, but I am not the brother that I was 2 weeks ago. My outlook on Kappa Beta has changed tremendously, and I don't know what I am going to do. Like I keep saying to Missy and to myself, at least there is only one more chapter meeting left in the year.

But... for the record, I would like to say:

Alan: You are my big brother, and I am proud to tell anyone that. We didn't see eye to eye for a small part of the year, but that's okay, and I am glad that I requested someone as intelligent, loyal, and caring as you for a big brother. I will always appreciate you for the guidance you gave me while going through my process. You are an AWESOME big brother.

Missy: Part of me wants to say I'm sorry... I helped bring you into this, and now you are hurting just like me. But I want you to know that I am SO, SO, SO, SO glad that YOU are my little brother. No matter what ANYONE says, I will have your back... I want you to know that. And even in all of this, I'm there with you, little bro. I love you as much as you love pink.

Bryn: My baby... PLEASE do not let any of this that is going on with me affect your experience with KKPsi. It is an absolutely AMAZING organization... You should be PROUD that you made it into the circle. I am so proud of you and I am so thankful that through your process we have grown into great friends. I think of you and Missy as my responsibility, even though you are now brothers. I will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what happens. You can always count on your big brother. I love you so much, and I wish you nothing but divine harmony as you start your career as a brother.

Erin: Grandbaby... I can't believe that I have a grand-little. I'm so glad that it's you though! You are such an awesome girl and I see great potential in you... as a brother and a teacher! It's great to have an individual as soft, caring, and sweet as you in Kappa Beta. You are gonna do great things... Your spirit is the best thing about you, and I just love being around you. You make me happy, and you make me happy to call you my grand-little. I love you tons.

So those are the shout outs to my immediate family... My big, littles, and grand-little. I just wanted them to know that no matter what happens, I am glad that I was blessed with a fraternal family like I have. Two AWESOME littles, an INCREDIBLE big bro, and a SUPER sweet grand-little. So yes... there are good things about KB. Two of which I am halfway responsible for... I dunno what I am going to do. All I know is that... well... I dunno anything anymore. There are hardly any absolutes. I guess I do know that the people I mentioned above are very special to me, and I am glad that the fraternity afforded me the opportunity to have them in my life.

is that a little snot on your windshield mr. parking nazi, sir?

Okay... remember what I said I would do the next time I saw a parking nazi truck? Well, yesterday... I didn't do it. I was driving into the horseshoe and saw one. I slowed down and got this mischevious little look in my eye... like the one that Max makes when he's about to do something devilish on "Max and Ruby." But, I kept driving, parked my car in a 30 minute spot and ran in the dorm and out just in time to move it.

Well, today, I succeeded in writing that disgustingly snotty ticket to the parking nazis. Missy, Julie, and I were coming out of the Strom Thurmond Institute, where we had to listen to this HORRIBLE speech about the 50 year anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education (and the man giving the speech said "v." not "versus"). There it was. The white Ford pick-up with the orange and purple stripes on the sides. And I was like, "Missy! Give me something to write on! I'm gonna write that ticket!" Julie started laughing hysterically, and Missy rolled her eyes and with a smirk said, "Oh, Lord," as she dug into her bag for something to write on and with. Then she said, "Just don't blow your nose in it, 'cause that would be nasty." Well, in all honesty, I agreed. And I wasn't going to do it, but since she had told me not to, then HELL YEAH I was gonna do it! So I wrote the ticket:

You are a public nuisance to the students on this campus. Choke, please. Fine: $1,000,000 to each Clemson University student.

And then I cleared my sinuses on the sheet of paper and ever so neatly placed it under the windshield wiper on the driver's side of the car. Then I casually walked away and laughed at the thought of some illiterate, illigitimate Pickens county piece of Lake Hartwell trailer trash finding it on their truck. MUAH HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE!

I win.
I fuckin' win.

the tiger???

Well, today, George from high school IMed me and suggested that I write for our newspaper, The Tiger, next year. To be honest, I had thought about it before, but always thought that my type of writing would be unacceptable. George writes about politics and stuff, and I write about trivial everyday stuff... I mean, I know I am quite opinionated... he actually thought I would be good because of the stuff I write in here. He said that my Tri-Dilta story was really good. However, I know that if I were to write crap like that in the Tiger, I would have 3 triangles burned in my front yard back in Greenville or something. Anyway, he told me that it would be perfectly fine for me to write funny everyday stuff. There is a guy that writes there right now, Matt Williams, who is HYSTERICAL. He is a muse of mine. He is a good writer and really funny.

Well, I sent off a sample of my writing for them... and hopefully, I'll have my own column right there next to Matt Williams next year. It will be good to have that to do... I will have a little more spare time next year...

Anyway, this is what I sent off to The Tiger. I let Nick read it, and he said it was good and even blogworthy. I knew I'd probably put it in here anyway, as it is something that I would put in here. It is a little subdued though... It's not completely Ham, but I think anyone would be able to tell that it is still me... mentions of Vera, our little sorority chicas, the stereotypical ed majors, and even a little Missy-ism up in there. Enjoy...

Sometimes, I just don’t understand people. Correction: I simply don’t understand people. Why, you may ask? Well, all of my confusion with people can be tied to their actions on a cold, rainy day in April. Why yes, Tuesday April 14, to be exact. It started as soon as I left my dorm. I guess the first person I didn’t understand was myself. I knew that it was raining when I looked out the window, but dumb me didn’t take a jacket of ANY sort. This could be attributed to the fact that I had a new shirt on and didn’t want any rain gear covering it up, or because I thought that a little rain wouldn’t hurt. Yeah. I’m gonna stick with the latter. But I did have a hat! That makes everything a little better. Right? Anyway, not wearing a jacket is even dumber because I left my umbrella in a friend’s room yesterday. However, I knew she was going to bring it to me at our class that morning, so I thought nothing of it.

Well, if I wasn’t enough of a stupid person, I see a stupid person walking out of a dorm with no hat and no umbrella. By this time, the little spittle of rain that had been falling had turned into a few drops short of a monsoon. This individual wasn’t making haste to where he was going either. Was he killing two birds with one stone and walking to class and getting a shower all at the same time? Yeah. I hope so, too. I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt.
I then had another thought on the way to class: what about those poor free spirits that wear sandals with everything? Were they really out in this downpour in sandals? Before I could open my mouth and say “Teva,” I saw her. The cute and oh, so fragile sister of some Greek organization—with her sandals, Capri pants, Clemson hoodie, and Vera Bradley bag. I shouldn’t poke fun at her. I’m sure she thought she was workin’ it.

After a few classes in Tillman, slipping across the floors wet from the shoes (or probably sandals) of education majors extraordinaire, I ventured outside again. By this time, the rain had stopped and left a cold, cloudy sky. I then saw all the people who had been attacked by old the murky waters of the puddles that lay in the eroded walkways of campus. You know, like the one that leads from Cox Plaza to the front of Brackett Hall. Well, the victims of these puddles were the unsuspecting, easy going, carefree guys that wore their baggiest, saggiest, droopiest jeans. I’m sure that they had no clue that their jeans were going to be so muddy and unacceptable after the morning’s showers. No. I take that back—those same guys are the ones that ride around campus in their mud covered Jeeps that they went off-roading in last Saturday.

Finally, later that evening, with the air still moist and even colder since the sun had gone down, I saw the epitome of tragedy: the sleeveless mid-drift with Rainbow sandals. At this point, I must stop and simply bow my head in prayer for this girl. Or maybe I should pray for her parents for not teaching her the appropriate way to dress when it is cold and wet outside.

Or maybe I should just pray for myself—I really don’t understand people.

i feel like a little whine

I feel like a little whine...

It's cold and rainy... VERY COLD and rainy...

An asshat (thanks for the word, Jenee) on my hall sprayed a fire extinguisher on my door last night...

My room is a complete disaster area...

It's still cold...

I'm out of that optimistic stage and heading back into that pessimistic stage...

I was asked to apply to be a committee head in the chapter...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (in response to the comment above)

I've got 2 bull shit Math Methods papers to write tonight...

I've got a stupid NEXT YEAR RA staff meeting to go to tonight (confused? yeah, me too, seeing how I'm definitely NOT an RA next year)...

Did I mention it's cold?

Okay... that's enough. Nick should be here shortly so we can go eat... hopefully I will warm up a little... Maybe this will warm me up too... imagine this graffitied on a booth in a college town bar...

"Ashley KKG 4 Life! I Love the Key!"

LOLOLOLOL!!! HAHA! Okay... I'm a little warmer now.
I love you, Missy!
written @ 7:28 pm

written at chapter...

"This should be an interesting entry... well, I'm in chapter... or some loose type of something that may resemble chapter. What is this? What the hell is this? First of all... well, no. I'm not ready to start. I'll go backwards. Right now, as of this very moment, we are talking AGAIN about the whole election fiasco. STILL! What the FUCK? I don't care. In all honesty, I wish I wasn't sitting here right now. I wish I could be typing something marshmallows and sunshine into my computer directly right now. I'm not serving any purpose here. I'm sitting here angry (about which I will address shortly) and I am not contributing anything to this conversation. I mean... In all seriousness, this is turning normal band people--would be friends--into enemies. People are upset, untrusting, and just plain old insulting! I feel like KB is ruinging friendships instead of promoting brotherhood. I have so much disdain in my heart right now. I NEVER EVER want to quit KKPsi. There are people out there on the internet reading this who don't know what the Greek letters Kappa, Kappa, and Psi mean. But I swear on everything I believe in and hold dear to my heart--I love what KKPsi stands for and I love what this fraternity means. But tonight, the thought of leaving the chapter when the semester ends and not returning in August crossed my mind. This election shit has been worse than that Florida mess back in 2000. Honestly, it shouldn't be. The status of the United States government should be more pressing to me thatn who counts the votes and who publishes the votes in Kappa Beta. Why is this so emotionally charging? Why do I stay in this? Why did I devote 12 weeks of my life to this? I know why. I believe that KKPsi. No, that sentence is not grammatically incorrect. I believe that KKPsi. It does. This shit is over... for now. I'll write more later tonight, I'm sure."

Well, that was during a big discussion... they started talking about stuff that was kinda over my head and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to contribute anything, and besides, I was a little hot about what happened earlier during chapter. But, I cooled down... especially when Dr. Spede said what he had to say... regarding e-mail wars:

"If it goes on for more than one paragraph, stop writing and pick up the phone."

And about the whole Robert's Rules, "dimpled chads," vote mess, he said:

"Democracy worked."

Two very true statements. I REALLY respect Dr. Spede. His few little words did a lot for me tonight. Thank God we had a teacher in the room to tie it all together and tell us that the whole thing was a life lesson. It was... and is. I charge none of this to the fraternity that is Kappa Kappa Psi. Neither do I charge it to the Kappa Beta chapter. I charge this to life. We live and we learn. And the important fact, is that we walk away more intelligent and enlightened individuals.

KKPsi... still holds true.

KYLE WINS! PARKING NAZIS LOSE!

I just had to relay the message. CAUTION: PROFANE CHOICE WORDS AHEAD!!!

Those fuckers have gotten me for the last time. How dare they write me a fucking ticket for some shit that I had no control over. I bet they know now. You don't write Kyle a ticket and threaten to kick him off campus... bastards. What the hell... Who the hell gets off on writing poor college kids tickets when they park 1 minute over in a timed space anyway. Short, fat, incestuous, leprechaun-lookin', po dunk Pickens County trailer trash backwash 6th grade educated little pieces of shit do, that's who. God bless Mark Hunnicut... THE ONLY decent person in parking services. He got that mess taken care of. I SWEAR on ALL that is decent in the Office of Parking Services (which isn't much), that the next time I see one of those piece of shit white parking nazi trucks, I am stopping whatever I am doing and writing a profane and disgusting message for them... and then I'm gonna blow my nose in it and neatly place it under the drivers side windsheild wiper for them to find when they return from writing however many tickets they write... And then I'm gonna sit in a bush about 13.4 feet away from the car and watch the fat parking bitch read the message and get my snot all over their hands. Fucker...

Okay, I'm done.But yes. Kyle is once again a welcome car on the campus of Clemson University. Let this entry be a warning, that if they intend on doing some shit like that again, they've got another thing coming...

DISCLAIMER: King Congruence hardly ever writes in such offensive language. Please forward all complaints about profanity in the entry above to:

Office of Parking Services
G-01 Edgar Brown Union
Box 344014, Clemson, SC
29634-4014
864-656-2270
parksrv@clemson.edu

jenee's blog made me do it

At random times of the day, I always get these great things to write about... and I always forget them... ::sigh:: It's okay though. I wasn't going to write tonight... I'm at home, bein' bored online... was actually doin' a little PEek. Then I decided to read Jenee's blog. Well, for those of you who know Jenee, know how militant she is and how tough she is... well, her blog entry today is just tender... Funny how a guy's appearance at church can take away from the whole Easter experience... although, there really was nothing wrong with the brokenness she felt today. I wish I was there to give her a hug. It just goes to show that we all need someone... even those of us who appear like we have really got it all together... sometimes all it takes is something remotely dealing with the r-word, and we are garbage messes.

Anyway, after the USC fan, I dunno what to think about the r-word. Honestly, I feel like a big prick. I mean, for someone as tragic as me, was I too picky? I know I'm not picky... I mean, Patrick and Nick always tell me about how I have such different taste than them. I really try to look on the inside of a person... and in all reality, usually, personality makes a person more physically attractive. Anyway, next month on the 7th will be exactly 4 years from when I started my last r-word... then October will bring 4 years of singleness... While it's sad, it kinda makes me feel tough. Like, I've held on for 4 years and I'm still somewhat sane. Thats a whole college generation...

And right now, I'm in one of those faithful moods... you know. If you have even remotely followed me in my blog(s), you will know that I go from being like I am now (uber-optimistic and patient) to being sad, depressed, and everything but suicidal... Right about now though, I am optimistic. I just think that I'm gonna be a senior... I'm gonna be 21 (in exactly 4 months from yesterday!)... I'm gonna have my own apartment... Things are just looking up. I can't help but hope for the best. But in all seriousness... the "best" kinda means the best person too... I'm not gonna settle... I guess I was picky when it came to the USC fan... but there are some things that I can't handle. And I think it's better to be single than to be in an r-thingy with someone you don't see eye to eye with.

Anyway... on another note. I am about to be a senior in college. I have reached the home stretch... and I am scared to death. I have so many questions... so many insecurities... so many options... so many what-ifs... I just want to be happy. Now this happiness... what does it entail? Is happiness going to get my masters, or going to teach? Is happiness going to UGA to get my masters, or going somewhere else? Is happiness teaching WHILE I am in school getting my masters? Is happiness getting my masters and then getting my Ph.D.? Look at all those questions... and that is just in the whole career aspect of my life... there's more too... do I want to take a job in Oconee County where I KNOW I'll get hired or do I want to go back to Greenville, or do I want to go to Georgia? UGH!

Well... I'm done rambling tonight. Only 8 more days of school this semester... Woo-de-la-hoo. I shall leave you with this from Jenee's blog which she got from Missy...

"She just wants someone to love her... And he just wants someone to love."

And with my poetic license, I will turn it around for me...

"He just wants someone to love him... And he just wants someone to love."

I love you, Jenee. We're in this together...

fun times and tragic people

Unproductivity. The theme of this weekend. I always knew that I was pretty unproductive... It takes a lot to get me to do anything worthwhile on weekends... this weekend is a little different though. It would honestly take and ACT OF GOD to get me to do anything this weekend... and I'm not just talking about schoolwork... surprisingly, I don't have much schoolwork to do... ish is winding down. The biggest things I have due are my Math Methods paper, ED F 302 quiz, and speech portfolio. I will pretty much be done with most ish on Tuesday hopefully... that is only if I get my Math Methods paper written by that day... It's not due until Thursday, but if I get it done, I won't have to go to class on Thursday until 11! So yeah... definitely plannin' on doin' that.

So, this unproductive weekend... It started yesterday very late in the morning/early in the afternoon... I had a late night... Patrick and Nick know why... LOL. Anyway, after lunch and working at the desk, Anna (YES, ANNA, I MENTIONED YOU!!! I LOVE YOU, GUIDING SPIRIT!!!), Nick, Patrick, and I went to Anderson Mall...

***POINT OF INFORMATION: Anderson Mall gets an F. It is quite possibly the most tragic mall on the eastern seaboard, if not in the US and the world. Extreme amounts of boredom to not warrant visits to Anderson Mall... only serious shopping. Thank you, please.***

Anyway, at that tragic mall, we saw some of the most disgusting people in the world. We tend to people watch a lot when we go places... whether it be in Harcombe or even ol' nasty Anderson Mall. Let's go over some of the people we saw... The wheelchair guy that hit on Anna, the goths, the pink she-pimp and her ghetto lady friend, the tall daisy duke wearing drag queen lookin' "thing," and the "person" in the model search that had a mustache AND really pretty, long Pantene Pro-V bouncy hair (we are pretty confident that it was a guy). Anderson Mall... I'm gonna need you to do better. But, the Gap was fabulous as ever... all I have to say is stress-free clothing is quite amusing.

Today, I went and led the chi'rens of the SRA School of Methods "Orchestra" in their little performance. Wow... Well... lemme just say that I was blown away... in 2 respects... First at how incredibly bad we sounded... and Second at how utterly EXCITED the crowd was! OMG. Well, first of all, the Bible verse I used to preface "The Horse:"

"In that day shall there be upon the bells of horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the LORD'S house shall be like the bowls before the altar."
-Zechariah 14:20

Good, huh? I got a couple of "amens" and "hallelujahs" and everything. Well, I told the guys that I was going to play the first measure... It was for the trumpet, but Justin didn't feel comfortable playing it. So, I said I would. Well... I started, and nothing came out. But, we kept going. Thankfully, the crowd got into it and started clapping and stomping their feet. That was motivating. So, in all, it wasn't terrible... but I wasn't pleased with my own trombone playing... but it's okay. Everyone cheered at the end... TONS of "amens" and "hallelujahs!" It was so odd... I wanted to turn around to them and look at them like they were crazy. But, I was glad at the response. DJ and Justin were pleased... oh, by the way, only ONE of the 6 drummers showed up.

Then, I went to the O & W game today. It was fun... I acted like a complete band dork... and made fun of the 3rd string quarterback that is in my speech class. I was proud of him for actually being on the field and doing something. In speech class (yes... the same one with the Dilta Dilta Dilta), he talked about his biggest accomplishment being dressing out for some really dorky game against some puny team and running down the hill... this is of course right after I gave my speech about being a drum major in Tiger Band and bowing and waving and having my name called out in front of 80,000+ fans. I'm not conceited... but whenever there is a chance to make band appear cooler than another activity that people consider high profile, I do it. I win.

Anyway, I'm on duty... and it's almost time to do rounds... and Anna (HEY ANNA!!!), James, and Nick are over here.

THIS is who robert is...

Robert’s Rules of Order
Revised for Deliberative Assemblies

General Henry M. Robert, U.S. Army

In 1876 General Henry M. Robert set out to bring the rules of the American Congress to members of ordinary societies with the publication of Pocket Manual of Rules of Order. It sold half a million copies before this revision of 1915 and made Robert’s name synonymous with the orderly rule of reason in deliberative societies.

(I got this off of some site Yahoo! pulled up)

on the kappa beta election 2004 fiasco...

Robert's Rules of Order... Who the FUCK is Robert anyway? Why do we do what the hell he says?

Just a question. :)

what else happened today...

Well, I wrote that entry before most of the day even commenced. After that, I went to meet Nick to walk down to the athletic offices to have dinner with Terry Don Phillips, the athletic director. On the way, we were intercepted by Tripp and Bryn. Can I just say that I love, love, love my 2nd lil bro, Bryn. She is so cute, 'cause she is ALWAYS wearing her mini family letters! Yes, the ones that Missy had a cow about. LOL! Anyway, we rode over to McFadden with them, and had dinner with other band people, cheerleaders, Rally Cats, President Barker, Terry Don Phillips, and Tommy Bowden. It was fun... and it is ALWAYS fun to see the cheerleaders! ::wink, wink::

Anyway, after that, I went to the SRA School of Methods. Tonight was great. Definitely the best night so far this week. My trumpeteer returned, despite me having to pull teeth getting him to play. We got through "The Horse" without Donovan there tonight, and I even figured out what we were going to perform on Saturday.... see they asked us to perform something on Saturday morning too... the CRAP FOR CRAP part is, they expect me to produce something with nothing... and that something has to be a Christian song... Well, no, sir! THAT is impossible in every sense of the word. 6 drummers, half of them wannabes, a trumpet who would rather drum, and then one cooperative and talented saxophonist? Well... I decided to take matters into my own hands tonight... Who the hell said that "The Horse" is truly secular anyway? As my dad said tonight in the car on the way back to campus, music is music, and it's genre isn't really defined until you put words with it. Therefore, "The Horse" is GONNA BE Christian... Watch. My dad told me I didn't even have to justify how it was... but I know back woods country black Progressive Baptist people from Seneca... they are gonna want to hear something they can get their shout on to... well, before we play, I'mma get up there and preach a little word about horses... Laugh right there if you wanna... but I KNOW there is a scripture or two about horses in this here KJV sitting up above my computer... So, I am going to talk a little about what God says about horses, then we are going to praise Jesus with Bill Moffitt's "The Horse." I do believe it will be a sight to see and hear... that and because I am playing the wannabe-drummer-trombone's trombone. Oh yes. This is going to be the most ghetto afro-engineered display of musical talent EVRA (and I meant to say "evra..." It's kinda country black Progressive Baptist sounding)!!!

Anyway... it is a Wednesday night, and I truly think that I am going to go to bed right after our staff meeting coming up here in the next 15 minutes. I have Brent at 8 am tomorrow morning, and even his loud wardrobe couldn't keep me awake... yes. I really fell asleep in Brent Igo's class... but it's okay... Missy was drifting off too...

OH! And another thing that happened... I saw the Dilta Dilta Dilta in Zaxby's the other day... with my dad. HAHA! Once again, I saw her first and didn't say anything (it's good to give them a taste of their own medicine). Then, she spoke and was like, "Hey, Hamilton! Your speech was really good the other day." Well... even there with my dad the black Progressive Baptist preacher, I acted like a punk and a half. I turned to walk out the door with my dad and (was SERIOUSLY about to say, "I know.") said "Thanks..." I was also about to say, "yours too." But that would have been a lie.

HAHA!

So, I got out of the door and BURSTED out laughing and started to explain the situation to my dad. I don't think he was as tickled as I was, but I thought it was hysterical. Oh, love it, love it, love it. Those Tri-Diltas...

...speaking of Diltas, I want to say a HUGE welcome back to the Delta Sigma Thetas and Alpha Kappa Alphas... I do believe that the presence of black girls on this campus will be made known again... whether it be due to the loud whoops of the Deltas or the loud pink and green jerseys of the AKAs... Welcome back, y'all... :)

evolution: from daily blogging to weekly installments

I feel like I am getting very behind in writing... I have been really busy, but not as incredibly busy as one would have expected. One being myself. Anyway, this week is going pretty good. The only thing that is even remotely stressing me out is this rubber band that I am working with... I wouldn't even to go so far as calling it a rubber BAND. It's more like a rubber wannabe drumline with a saxophonist. The SRA School of Methods "Orchestra" is what it was meant to be. The first day though, I quickly informed them that I wasn't gonna be in charge of an orchestra. So, I regretfully told this girl who played violin that she couldn't participate. So, that left me with 6 drummers (only 2 of which who could play), a kid who blew air into a trombone (and couldn't play drums but wanted to go be with them), a trumpet (who also wanted to be a drummer), and a saxophone (who in all reality is VERY good). Well, I told one of the drummers (who actually could play) to take the rest of them into another room and teach them... I don't know much about drums (or why all of a sudden it is so incredibly cool to play them), so I delegated the drum teaching to him. His name is William and he is in band at D.W. Daniel, so I am sure that he knows what he's doing. Anyway, I had such a hard time trying to get the trumpet player to play. Since I started on trumpet, I could actually work with him. The trombone player was a lost cause I'm sorry to say. He didn't even know his B flat scale. So, he basically sat there while I spoon fed note from "The Horse" to the trumpet player. I had to read out the rhythms and notes for him, but he eventually got it. It was good to finally play the song with him, the sax, and William on snare at the end of the night. It wasn't good, but I do believe I helped the trumpet player accomplish something he didn't think he could do.

Last night, I sent the trombone player in with the drums and my brother came from Greenville. He is a sax player too. So, I stuck him and the other saxophonist together and we played "The Horse" and "Irish Tune from County Derry." It sounded good... even if it was just saxophones. Anyway, there will be more tonight, and tomorrow... and a performance on Saturday...

Anyway, I am not on the best of terms with my chapter right now, and frankly, I don't care if anyone is insulted with what I have to say. I am insulted, actually. I never thought that I could be judged because of my major... a major that indisputably is one of honor, integrity, respect, and loyalty. But truly, the chapter got what it wanted... so I can't be upset at them. I'm just upset at the politics of it all. Congrats to Cameron though... you do deserve a position of leadership, and I hope that your skills will help build the chapter up. Congrats to all the new officers... I'll be cheering from the sidelines.

it is now april...

...and I haven't written anything in a LONG time. Well, I did write in my Xanga last Friday. Didn't feel like sending it over this-a-way. So, you know how to go look at it. Anyway, stuff has happened... I've been really busy, really working hard, and really frustrated. I'm sure you are wondering why... well, you nosy crap for crap (did I mention really bitchy too?), last week, I had crap loads of stuff to do... mostly due to PE and it's uselessness... Then, on Saturday, there was formal. It actually went well... I have nothing really to say about it, except for the fact that I am so ridiculously glad that it is over... last night was elections... nothing productive to say about that either... and today starts that whole little kid band thing. No, I am not as excited as I was before. In fact, I hope that no kids show up all week long. I mean, it is friggin spring break. How many kids do you think would take their spring break to go play in a church conference band? I dunno. It's not that I don't want to do it... it's just that there is so much other stuff going on that all this is is an extra burden on me.

If there is one thing that PE taught me, it was that I am a right brained individual that sees the big picture, likes to be spontaneous, not extremely organized, and I CAN'T SAY NO. That is why I believe I am stuck in the situation I am in now. Well, all that will change next year. I will hopefully devote my time to my EDUCATION... ooh, what a concept. I was going to have to put a lot of effort into other things next year, but in a strange, twisted sort of way, my EDUCATION got in the way. It's okay though... I'm glad that I'm goal oriented and definitely looking toward the future. Oh, BTW, looking toward the future includes not looking at the USC fan. That is way done with. That is one person that needs every little bit of EDUCATION they can get. Too bad they are transerring to USC, 'cause that is the last place to get a decent education. As I said before, the only things good about USC are ZX and EA... how about a shout out to them... and KM... and I and LB... what the hell... WASSUP, DI?

education majors: giving everyone the chance to be smart

Speaking of that last quote... Missy and I are compiling a list of people who fail at life... who despite the efforts of their EDUCATORS, they haven't really done much or don't appear to be doing much with their lives. If you know someone who fits into this category, please notify us...

words of wisdom from grandpakb

Well... I had lots more to say today, as I wrote in the previous entry, but time has slipped away from me... I got my ish printed, thanks to Nick. And, I wrote my speech... the Tri-Dilta is goin' down. Anyway... I'm weirded out. Not going into depths... but all I will do is marinate on the quote Jerome had in his blog...

"To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse."
-E. Y. Harburg

Hmm...

In other news, Berkeley Place sucks big fat uber-sloppy monkey balls. The Reserve is the poo... take a big whiff. More to come on that later...

ugh and a half

Okay... First of all, lemme say that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE writing in my blog(s) when I am not in my room... like when I am in Brackett or Martin. I am in Martin right now... sitting here wasting away. I have a pretty stout week, but yet, I am lazily blogging away here in the lab.

My intention was to come here and print out the massive amounts of sources I need to prove the Tri-Dilta girl wrong in my NCLB speech on Thursday. But lo and behold, NONE of the printers on campus are working... no, I am not lying or joking or blowing anything out of proportion... NONE of the lab printers on campus are working. So, I am here, checkin' e-mail, readin' blogs, chattin' under my King Congruence alias... this is the life... Oh, and I'm also STARVING! I am waiting for Anna to get out of class so I can go eat lunch with her and Nick. I really feel like I am going to waste away...

Anyway, this week is gonna be pretty crappy... well, not really. It appeared as if it was going to be, because I had crap due today and tomorrow... but even in my slothfulness this weekend, I got both those things done. Yay. Now, all I have to worry about is my Special Ed test on Wednesday, ED F 315 project due Wednesday, speech Thursday, and PE test Thursday... Wednesday shouldn't be too bad... but Thursday is gonna suck... then after that, I get to worry about formal on Saturday and elections on Sunday!

Anyway, I just got a call from Anna saying she's ready to eat, so I guess I gotta cut this short... and I actually had a lot more to write about (yes, I'm not getting blocked out by thoughts of the USC fan)!

Just to temp you, I plan on writing about why Berkeley Place can go to hell and where Patrick, Nick, and I (AND THE NEW ROOMIE-TO-BE- JUSTIN!!!) will be living next year!!! w00t!

worshipping at the altar of another person

I got this quote last night from who will be known as "the USC fan." Yes, we have progressed from the crush to the USC fan. The USC fan is the whole reason why I couldn't write clearly on Friday... I still can't. Gotta listen to what Missy and Erin say... and my heart too.

But, the USC fan obviously has some sense... that quote is amazing isn't it? We see eye to eye on a lot. But even I couldn't come up with anything as nice as that. Sweet... poetic... too much.

Anyway, we took a walk around campus on Friday night. It was a different kind of meeting. I dunno if I would call it a date, but it was tender. The USC fan even admitted it was tender. And of course, the sorors, Nick and Patty, thought it was tender. But as for Patty... he's on a little excursion right now too... diva points for him. ::snap:: ::snap:: ::snap::

Anyway... my mind if freakin' out... I don't know what to say, frankly, 'cause I don't quite know what is goin' on... So... I will now delve into the fraternal part of my life... ::whew::

I got nominated for VP tonight! So far, I am the only one running. I don't want to get complacent and not have to work for my position, but I am glad that my brothers see me as so highly qualified. I know I'm gonna really have to put together a well polished campaign though. Unfortunately this comes when I have SO MUCH due... class wise AND fraternally... Formal is this weekend... and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT! I'm really stressed...

...but, the USC fan is helping to keep me a little more sane. :)

DISCLAIMER: This entry is completely unacceptable. Yes, I write in stream of consciousness... however, tonight, I think that tonight, the stream was meandering inbetween some rocky crags and ish... If anything, this should show you how different this whole situation is for me... Thanks.

easy like grape kool-aid

So, I cannot wait until after lunch today to write in here... I am having serious withdrawl. Kinda like how I was having serious grape kool-aid withdrawl. Jenee was kind enough to take me to Bi-Lo late last night so I could get some... and when I got there, I contemplated getting cherry instead... but she said, "But you love grape kool-aid!" That made me feel special that she knew what I liked so much that she discouraged me from getting another flavor. That was sweet...

...sweet like the kool-aid. See, the whole reason that I went and got some is because I was in a state of fasting and praying yesterday... I dunno if all of you out there in blog land know what that is, but fasting is when you don't eat as a demonstration of humility and focus on what it is you are praying about. I dunno if anyone saw the entry that I wrote late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning, but it was a prayer... a prayer that I have prayed for a long time, but I that prayer is a little more relevant now. It's hard for me to stick to fasts and stuff... but my parents do it quite often... I mean, I guess that is what I get for being the son of a preacher man... But, if they can do it, I figured I could too. I did all yesterday too. And I realized that I was doing the right thing when I was about to give in and just do the 6:00 fast where you don't eat until after 6, but those plans got squashed... ironic really. I was going to go to KKPsi night at Columbo's, but I called to see if people were still there, and they were all leaving. So, I decided to just not eat.

I have pretty strong faith... except for when it comes to the r-word, of course... but I feel like this fast has given me even greater strength... But, the fast alone has not helped... Erin. Yes, my darling buddy who resides in the Vera-less Sparkle City. I talked to her yesterday about this whole situation, because she normally helped me out when it came to stuff like this. Just because she has a boyfriend really doesn't mean we have nothing in common. If anything, she could help me out, you know? So, I IMed her in the middle of the day yesterday. It was so good to talk to her. It was like old times. I vented, she listened. She's such a good listener. We are good for each other like that. Anyway, she game me some absolutely stellar advice. Ironically, it is the same as the Alicia Keys Ham Rule: Don't Fall. Her exact words were "it might be difficult but DONT FALL until you KNOW the facts." She is great. And if anything, her dating Bryan has given her one up on situations like this. She's never really given me advice like this before... but this advice seems really good... and the most important part is that it shows how much she cares. Thank you, Erin. I love you SO much!

Anyway, I know all of this is vague, but the reason I'm not saying much is because like Erin said, I can't fall... and writing about this situation in full detail in here is like falling... actually, it's like the No Self-Proclaimed Crushes Rule... but we all know how much I follow that rule... I'm going to play by the rules, take heed to Erin's advice, and walk by faith... and drink my grape kool-aid.

MISSY DAVIS: play it hard extraordinaire

So, I removed the entry that I wrote last night... I know, I never do that... well, more like, I never DID that. It came after talking to my dear sweet lil bro #1, Missy. Missy told me that while tender and exciting, the entry I wrote last night, was not acceptable for someone such as myself... or the person that I, myself, am trying to be.

Anyway, here's some irony... they had french onion soup today in Harcombe. It sucked... ironic due to yesterday's turn of events. It was cold, had like no onion in it, and strangely enough, the cheese I put in it sank straight to the bottom... I like it when it floats on top... mmm...

Anyway... I can't write tonight. My head is too full. I think that I will be able to write more freely after Friday at around lunch time. I also can't write because Missy Davis, play it hard extraordinaire wouldn't be pleased... she is so hella tight.

But... I am thankful. Thankful for last night... thankful for 9 pm today. Thankful for about 45 minutes from now... Thankful for this funny feeling that has been in my stomach all day. Thanks, God.

a new found love for those of the three triangle persuasion

So, tonight's blog entry was going to be called "A New Found Dislike for Those of the Three Triangle Persuasion." Who am I talking about? If you guessed Jenee, you are wrong. She and I are definitley skraight... and she is not of the three triangle persuasion... she is definitely of the "psi" persuasion. So, the individuals I am talking about are Greek. Yes, our lovely sisters of "Dilta Dilta Dilta." Tri-Delt. Their snow beast of a Miss Clemson contestant said it "Dilta Dilta Dilta." Anyway, I was about to be for real pissed at one of them today... This is why...

Well, in speech, we are doing persuasive speeches. I decided a while ago to do mine on the drawbacks of George Dubya's "No Child Left Behind" bull crap. Lo and behold, this Tri-Delt, Kelsey, announces that she is doing hers on the ADVANTAGES of "No Child Left Behind..." and her reasoning: "Well, I just saw that someone was doing the drawbacks, so I decided to do the advantages." Oooh... this girl obviously did not know me. I think she might have thought she did from the speeches about band and KKPsi that I so eloquently and jocundly delivered to the class... but I was upset. I was ready to head to the library and research the hell out of some N.C.L.B.

Well, after I went to Seneca and tutored, I parked down on Cherry Road so I could walk down to my dorm and pass by Smith and Barnett so I could put my name up on the duty boards. Smith Hall, by the way, is home to the Kappas (burnt hair), Chi Os (hoo), and... the Tri-Delts. I went in and put my name up, and as I was leaving, who else walks up to the door but Kelsey. I held the door open and gave that "I-know-you-from-class-but-not-well-enough-to-say-hi-to-you" smile. She had a different sort of look on her face. As I kept walking away from the door, she stood there and said, "Hey, Hamilton, I'm Kelsey and I'm in your speech class." I was like, "Oh, hey!" Then she said, "I just wanted to let you know that I don't really know much about 'No Child Left Behind,' I just know that I agree with it, so I'm not trying to argue with you. No offense!" she said as she smiled. I smiled too. "None taken."

So, yay for the Tri-Delts! I think that that is probably the most positive interaction I have ever had with one. So, how normally, one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch, one good Tri-Delt has definitely boosted my approval of the rest of them.

blogworthy: CHRIS COLLINS

Well, I don't really have to say that he is blogworthy... He made himself blogworthy by leaving the comments he did. I really appreciate the things he said to me. I did not sit there and say, "No sir" as he predicted (that's actually kinda funny, 'cause I do say no sir and no ma'am when disagreeing with my friends). But his word of advice did not fall on deaf ears. The only thing is I have heard it a lot, so it's hard to really believe what he said. But, it does make me smile a little when I read it... Thank you, Chris. You have really shown yourself to be a brother.

Anyway, it's 11:09 on a Monday... that means that I should be either slaving away at something for one of my 4 classes tomorrow or in bed preparing to see Brent Igo at 8. Ugh. But, There are no sheets on my bed. LOL. I haven't had the time to make my bed since spring break ended, so I have one comforter over the mattress and I sleep with one over me. It shows how sad my home life is... home being my Clemson home... my dorm. I really don't like living alone anymore. If the words of Citizen Cope's "Theresa" were ever true, I belive them now... "alone is NO WAY to live." Last night, I was listening to this recording of Invictus by William Henley that Jenee sent me... it was kinda frightening... and I was all alone here in the room. It was a good kind of frightening though... I felt as if my founding fathers were here in the room with me.

Anyway, last night, on the way back from Greenville, I was listening to "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. I started rewriting it as I sang it. It was sad... but the hope in my new rewritten version made me smile through the tears. Don't feel bad... that is the song I ALWAYS cry to when I listen to it. But last night, I cried for more than just that reason that I always cry for. Anyway, here goes again. I really hope Ben Folds doesn't mind. Ben is a god (even though Katie Reaves doesn't think so) and his music is amazing... Lucky him... because if he experiences the love that he sings about in this song, he truly is the luckiest. Here is my revision...

I don't get many things right the first time.
In fact, I am told that a lot.
But I know all the wrong turns and stumbles and falls will take me there.
And here I am before the day
that I see your lovely face
Soon I'll see it every day.
And I'll know
that I am, I am,
I am the luckiest.

Maybe if I've been born fifty years before you
in a house on a street where you'll live?
Maybe I'll be outside as you pass on your bike,
would I know?
And in a wide sea of eyes,
I'll see one pair that I recognize.
And I'll know
that I am, I am,
I am the luckiest.

I'll love you more than I will
ever find a way to say to you.

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
and one day passed away in his sleep.
And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days
and passed away.
I'm sorry, I know that's a
strange way to tell you that I know we'll belong,
that I'll know that I am, I am
I am the luckiest.

It's not extremely different from the original... mainly just a few tense changes and stuff... But, as I listen to the song and sing my words, I'm not so saddened. There is hope in my revision. As I wrote, one of my lines stood out to me.

I'll love you more than I will
ever find a way to say to you.

It is hard to imagine a love so strong that not even this beautiful song could portray it to someone. I can barely IMAGINE it... will it really ever come? I know that people do have love like that... my parents, for example. But will I? Like I said, I can't imagine it. The poor woman mentioned in the song... to be so in love with someone, that once they are gone, there is no reason to live anymore... how beautiful.

It saddens me to think that some people go through the motions... in their r-thingies without true love for the person they are dating or simply "doing." It's possible for those people to have something incredibly special. ::sigh:: Why do I always end up writing about how horrible other people act? I can't reprimand them for being douches. Go ahead and be a douche. I'll just sit here in my room rewriting love songs so they are relevant in the future tense.

she will be loved

Oh, Maroon 5... how you roll around simulating sex on MTV, but you sing the truth. I guess I should explain...

I'm not saying that there is some girl that I am loving or anything... but... okay, here goes sick and sappy... but I will be loved... right??? I hope. I don't want to make these last 5 weeks of school nothing but sadness, but... oh wait, that's all LAST April was... yep. Before this years episode of the crush, there was one last year that started with someone I met at SED. It ruined April. I am not looking to ruin another spring. But, from the looks of it, it will be sucky anyway. It's spring. Officially now... marked with my mom's birthday (yesterday). Which means "love is in the air" and Bowman field is teeming with hotties. Screw Bowman field... The SED was teeming with hotties. ::sigh::

Jenee had this plan... Operation: SLUT OUT. I mean, it was the opportune place to do so. A bunch of band geeks like ourselves... and being that they were band geeks as well, we knew the kind of nasty minds they had... they were prolly looking to slut out too. Anyway, as horrible as this sounds, I DID NOT slut out. I was me. And yes folks, once again, being me is not worth anything to anyone. Obviously to even get someone to notice you (NOTICE YOU, not sleep with you) you have to portray yourself as a "hoe." (Danny spells it with an e, so that's why I quoted it... we are presently talking about one of the SEDs hoe-y-ist sisters-to-be) Anyway, it appears that you can't win unless you are a prick... unlike the SED which is you can't win unless you HAVE a prick... LOL. Seriously though, I am getting and HAVE been getting the shaft for a long time. They usually say, "Good guys finish last." But, I say "Good guys don't finish.

So, here is to the last week and a half of March and the entire month of April... to be loved.

sed 2004

SED was fun. It WAS fun. A lot happened... I can't even begin to retell it all... but Jenee did. She did so in 20 items. I will attempt to as well, using some of hers for my Top 20 Things Revealed at SED 2004.

20. It is possible to get 4 people and their luggage to Tuskegee, AL and back in a VW Beetle and do so in style.
19. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are sorors of Tau Beta Sigma National Band Sorority, Inc.
18. The other most beautiful women are brothers of Kappa Kappa Psi National Honorary Band Fraternity, Inc.
17. Even if you are a female in KKPsi letters, you can still be considered a soror.
16. Kappa Beta has got it's sh*t together.
15. Our delegate, Jay, does too.
14. The Kappa Sigma delegate is the most persistent brother in the bond.
13. Gamma Nu's seminole chant can be silenced by a little humming of Tiger Rag.
12. Gamma Nu's seminole chant can also be silenced if you start singing Strong Bad Techno with them.
11. 1/4 of the district council will always belong to one chapter.
10. Alpha Omega is HANDS DOWN the most fabulous chapter of Tau Beta Sigma in the SED.
9. The Eta Eta sorors are hands down the most fabulous chapter outside of the SED.
8. "Syphillis does not begin with a PSI." -Jenee
7. Iota steps.
6. Black people CAN throw a party in the woods.
5. The SED of KKPsi is the only place in America where the black man wins.
4. You can be named Kita and be cool.
3. "The National Constitution SUPERCEDES the District Constitution." -Kirk Randazzo
2. Chris Haughee is a bad muthafucka.
1. Wava Banes Henry is the coolest woman alive, and her husband Reese is awesome too.

I had fun. I am invigorated and ready to truck on for one more year... at least as an undergrad.
Much love to Gamma Nu and Iota Omicron and the stunning sorors of Alpha Omega!

the story of king congruence

I wrote this when I started this blog with intentions of putting in in here, so people wouldn't have to ask me where the name "King Congruence" came from. Well, I had it saved as an away message on this my home computer. So, I found it, and here it is coming to you, the readers... GEEZ! I feel like Dr. Spede when he digs up some exciting old version of a fight song! This is exciting!

he took his seat with a scowl
and the class had just begun
how could he make this time go by
and be a little more fun?

his friends all sat across from him
looking bored with fright
so then he got out his pencil
and frantically began to write!

"geometry sucks really bad
and it really makes no sense
lets all make believe...
and i'll be king congruence!"

he passed the note discreetly
and one by one they read
and soon enough it was make believe
not geometry, in their heads

emily became the princess--
perpendicular to be exact
stephanie, lady linear--
with all her lines intact

then, there was jessica
who became the duchess decagon
with all the fun they had all year
their time in class was gone...

but king congruence wasn't...

i had something to say...

...but I forgot. LOL.

So, I started writing in my new Xanga blog. I said before that I don't like Xanga too much... just that everyone has it. I feel like a trend setter, cause I know a couple people hopped onto blogspot because of me. Yes, I know you love me. Anyway, I started the whole blog out of malice and dishonesty. Yes. It was bad. But I have learned from my mistakes. If anything, it has given me another outlet to express my feelings. But, I don't want to neglect this blog... I mean, this is my baby! So, if any of you have any ideas as to how I can write in both, please leave it in the comments. There is a link to my Xanga over in the links thing ------------> but I think the link doesn't work... I dunno. Here it is again. Go read what I wrote yesterday.

Anyway, I had good food today. My brother played the crap outta his saxophone. My Pop Pop has been here all weekend and I got to sit with him at church. I was UBERlazy today after church. And tomorrow, I head to CHARLESTON with Nick to visit Kate and Deni! w00t!

Now, I gotta go pack for that. This is going to be an extremely FABULOUS spring break. I will try to keep some kind of log to document how incredibly awesome it is. Have fun you guys, and be safe!

-King C.

the root of all evil

"Money is not the root of all evil. Miscommunication is the root of all evil." -Jenee

To a degree, I believe that... but the little degree that I don't is because of the old adage, "Money talks." So, in essence, money IS the root of all evil... but i guess it isn't the money, but it's the talking that money does. So yes... miscommunication is the root of all evil. It is responsible for some of the animosity expressed over the past few days... but it's over now... lesson learned... no reason to delve into all of it. Although, if you are looking for juicy fraternity gossip, go here.

Now that THAT is out of your system (hehe), I'll say this... on the topic of miscommunication. Weblogs can be beautiful and horrible things at the same time. I mean, it's a look into the deep thoughts of a person... and lets just be real... humans think some beautiful and horrible things. While it is important to understand that everyone has the right to post whatever they want in their blogs, it is also important to understand that everyone has the right to get upset about something they read in someone's blog. That goes back to being human again... we, as people, get upset at stuff sometimes. The important thing to understand is that we all need to compromise... agree to disagree.

AND, when we do have to get in tiffs... the best thing to do is to talk it out, because, quite frankly, name calling and pointing fingers is SO playground... lol. Think about it... what good does it do to call someone a bitch? It's a word... it really doesn't mean anything other than female dog. And if you call someone a female dog, they really shouldn't take offense... NO HUMAN is a female dog... they are humans! LOL. I'm so gonna use that spill on my students when the time comes... only I won't use the same word. Hehe... so that's it.

OH! BTW, IT'S SPRING BREAK! AND I'M GOING TO CHARLESTON AND TUSKEGEE!

mr. band director

So, today, the weirdest, yet most exciting thing happened. I was at Kellett tutoring with the afterschoolers and this man comes into the school. Kathy walks up to me and introduces me to him. I can't remember his name now (lol), but he is from the Seneca River Baptist Association... some organization of churches... they have "insert name" River Baptist Associations all over the state... Anyway, he came up to me asking if I would be interested in helping with the SRBA Youth Orchestra. I was completely taken aback. I told him I didn't know how much help I could be, but I would do what I could. He told me that the first week of April, I would be teaching a group of about 10 to 15 band students 2 pieces of my choice to perform at the closing ceremony on the Friday of that week. Then I got excited... 10-15 kids... music of MY choice... and then there was also the $75 that he said but I just forgot to mention... SO HECK YEAH! I'm stoked now! He then asked if I knew where the Seneca River Family Life Center was. I told him that I had been there before when my dad pastored a church up around here... then he asked who my dad was and was shocked that he didn't put the two names together. My dad will actually be teaching that same week I am teaching up there! So woah... me and my dad BOTH doing grown up things in the same arena... WEIRD. But...

...EXCITING! I then called home to tell my dad. I really hope he didn't take offense to it, but I told him that I had scored this gig with no help from him. My dad is always telling me that people know who I am and have high expectations of me because of him... He's not being conceited... but I mean, he is a very prominent figure in Greenville. Usually, people see my last name and the fact that I LOOK like him and immediately make me out to be the perfect image of PKism (Preacher's Kid-ism). However, anyone who reads this is bound to know that I am far from flawless... But, it was refreshing to see that my reputation had preceeded me with this guy. He heard about me from Kathy, who told him I was a tutor and a drum major of Tiger Band.

So, I am making a name for myself... and it's uberexciting (the uber- prefix is the new catch phrase of the week... Nick and Missy had to explain it to me... Nick uses it very liberally). What is more uberexciting is that I get to try my hand at directing my own little band! w00t!

I am sure that it will be TONS more thrilling than this ridiculous PE that I have been slaving over this week... Just about 36 hours left!!!

log this away...

This is INTENDED to piss someone off...

I'm sorry that your life has become nothing but a sad sob story cried over instant messages to your little sister, but I'd really appreciate it if you maybe "had enough balls to say things to my face." 'Cause frankly, I would respect you a little bit more... I mean, I barely respect you at all, but I do respect you because I HAVE to. I don't care if you respect me or not, but I guess I would appreciate it if you practiced what you preached and came to my face instead of getting your little sister involved. But wait... let me be a little more respectful... I should respect the fact that you must run and whine to your sister because you've alienated yourself from people who once were your friends. So, go ahead, let the little girl keep bothering me. Oh wait... she can't 'cause she's blocked... JUST LIKE YOU! And blocking someone is not a sign of weakness... if anything, it is a sign that I am sick of your crap, and instead of seeing your screenname on a list reserved for my "Buddies," I would rather see a big red circle with a line through it next to your name... not only will it make me smile because it will mean that I won't have to talk to you, but it will also mean that all the ish that I associate with you is in that little red circle... which means it is done... and you don't know this, 'cause you think I have no balls, but when I am done with something, I don't keep going back in my blog reminding myself... I am done... Hell... YOU are done. And with that, I do not intend on wasting any more precious blog space writing about you and how incredibly back asswards you are... and I am saying that here, and I don't intend on saying it to your face, because THAT would be a waste of my breath. I'm done...

...and if you ARE pissed off (haha), it's your own fault... 'cause you don't have to snoop around in my blog anyway... just go run to yours and write about how angry you are at me and the rest of your friends because we are not as ballsy as you.

AND THAT IS THE LAST TIME THAT I WILL ADDRESS THIS SITUATION AND/OR PERSON IN THIS BLOG. THE KING HAS SPOKEN.

the band geek revolution and dance dance revolution

The Band Geek Revolution

In the last entry, I closed by sending Kate happy thoughts for the Miss Clemson Pageant, which was on Friday night. Well, I think that my happy thoughts did her well... along with her beauty, intelligence, and talent. KATE MOON IS MISS CLEMSON UNIVERSITY 2004! She was OBVIOUSLY the most beautiful girl at the pageant, AND she won for the best interview and the best talent... I can't even begin to tell you how amazingly she did... All of her AXO sisters were proud of her, as they very well should have been... but THE BAND... WE WERE SOOOOOO PROUD! We cheered during the whole pageant for her... and when she won, we gave her a standing ovation... IT WAS THE BAND GEEK REVOLUTION! Kate, a band geek just like the rest of us, proved that you can be in band AND be all that and a bag of potato chips. When we all joined band at our respective schools however many years ago, we pretty much gave up coolness... we sacrificed popularity and acceptance for the joy of music... and now that we are in college, and popularity really doesn't exist in the first place, we are a little cooler and a little more respected... BUT, Kate showed everybody that a band geek can rock out on ANYBODY ANYTIME ANYWHERE! GO KATE! She is Clemson's Queen, but first and foremost, she is the band geek's queen. Click here for a pic of Miss Clemson and all of her adoring band geeks.

Dance Dance Revolution

The second revolution of the weekend lasted for 24 hours... Dance Dance Revolution occured Friday night when Patrick, Nick, Anna, and I attacked the club. It was so much fun, as going to the club was the week before... HOWEVER, on Saturday night, while in Greensboro for the Women's ACC Tournament, Nick, Jamie (a cheerleader), and I went to a club... THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING MUSIC I HAVE EVER DANCED TO!!! The beats were amazing, the DJ was off the meat rack, and it was just an incredible experience... Okay, I'm about to sound like a COMPLETE weirdo, but the music hit me in a way that it never had before... I closed my eyes and started doing this crazy hand/arm gyrating thing... It's hard to explain, but usually, dancing just involves my feet and lower body, but this music was so intense that my arms and hands were just all over the place... I felt like a raver... Hehe... IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I got lost in the music... I forgot about everything... time, space, how tired I was ('cause I only slept 5 hours the night before), and all the work that is waiting for me this week (ugh). I want to dance like that all the time... I want to experience a Dance Dance Revolution ALL the time... or at least once a week. That was some fun ish.

::sigh:: what an INCREDIBLE weekend!

so i lied...

I said I was gonna write again yesterday, but I didn't. Oh well... you didn't miss anything. I did all the work for my stupid mah project and prepared myself for the speech that I gave today. All I will say is... I admit defeat. It wasn't great. I was really nervous. But, I don know that my information was good and they learned a lot about KKPsi. I doubt that my grade will be good though. My speech was supposed to be 5:30, but it turned out to be 8:53... yeah. Oh well. I'm going to be a teacher... I'm supposed to have to talk for long periods of time... so, as far as I'm concerned, I'm going in the right direction.

Anyway, this week was HORRIBLE. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. And, I thought that it would all be over after today... NOT EVEN. ::sigh:: Let's see... I have an edf 302 quiz and Math Methods test on Tuesday as well as my PE learning center due on Thursday. BUT... I am gonna hold strong. I can do it, just like I made it through this week. I CAN! So, I am REALLY gonna try to not get stressed out.

As a little reward for this week, we are going to the club again tomorrow. It should be fun. I love dancing... do we see a pattern here? Conducting, singing, dancing... I am a whore to music. It controls every aspect of my life.

Speaking of music again, I didn't do the "Clemson Idol" thing. Not only did I have CRAPLOADS to do last night, but I looked in Barnett Lounge to see if anyone was in there, and no one was. So, I didn't really miss out on anything. I think I am gonna have to come to the conclusion that the whole singing thing is gonna just be a hobby and nothing else. But you know... I would LOVE to be able to sing to someone or have someone sing to me... I think that's sweet... It'd be cool to sing Ben Folds "The Luckiest" to someone... and "My Immortal" by Evanescence is a good one too... although, it's sweet for other reasons... sad reasons, but still sweet.

At any rate, I have no one to sing to... Unless you count those three whores named edf 302 test, Math Methods test, and PE learning center... ugh... BUT THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!! I'M GONNA MAKE IT! AND AFTER THAT IS SPRING BREAK! YAY!

Here's a happy thought for Kate, 'cause I "LOBE" her so much...

YOU ARE GONNA DO AWESOME TOMORROW IN THE MISS CLEMSON PAGEANT! JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU, YOU ARE THE TOTAL PACKAGE: BEAUTY, INTELLIGENCE, AND TALENT!


MY FRIEND, KATE MOON:
SO HOT, SHE MAKES GAY MEN CREAM!

brackett lab

I'm in Brackett Lab... Today has been one of those days where it makes absolutely no sense to go back to my room... I'll either get laxidazical and do nothing, or sit there and check away messages all afternoon. I had to do my webpage for edf315 after class today, so after that, I went to lunch. Now, I am in here printing out the T/F answers for my Sepcial Ed. test... I ALWAYS get nervous about tests for this class, but I made 100 on the first test and a 98 on the second... so, I really shouldn't be... but, I'm just waiting for a big C to jump up and bite me on the arse right when I think I can ace it. So, I'm still studying... only not really... 'cause I'm blogging... go figure.

Anyway, there is this "Clemson Idol" thing going on tonight. It's just what it sounds like... basically a talent or "no talent" showcase. It's for my residential area... ironically, recently, I have been especially interested in singing again. For those of you who didn't know, I sang in high school in Honors Concert Choir, where I was a Tenor II... I was also in 2 breakout groups... Vocal Ensemble and Those 8 Guys, which at the time consisted of 8 guys (now it is still "Those 8 Guys" but there are 12 of them)... It was an Eastside version of Tigeroar, basically. So, I was pretty good. I dunno how good I am now. I mean, I don't get training daily like I did, but I think I can still sing at least a little bit. I know I am nowhere as good as I used to be... but I would love to sing frequently like I used to. So, needless to say, the Clemson Idol thing strikes my interest. The only thing is that I don't know if I'd be one of those insanely tragic people that goes on American Idol thinking they can sing circles around Whitney Houston but gets their dreams smashed to hell by Simon. I would also have to sing an acapella song... I have (and have always had) a little problem STAYING on whatever key I start on... so, accompaniment is my best friend. Lastly, my residential area is made up of sorority girls... the same girls that carry their sorors around in oversized Vera Bradley Ps.O.S. LOL. Speaking of Vera, this girl JUST walked up to the computer next to me... with a blue and white Vera. Haha...

So, anyway, it's an idea. But, if I don't do it... I think I want to do something about this whole lack of singing in my life. I can't really take a choir... no time. I guess I can sing in the car and in my room and stuff... and whenever I have the chance. Last night, I went to go park Kyle and it was like 1 am. I took my CD player with some Citizen Cope in it. I was singing in the car and once I parked Kyle and got out to walk back to Mauldin, I kept singing. I figured, it was 1 am and no one was really out... so I kept belting it... you know, like how you do in your house or car when NO ONE else is around. It was a very freeing experience. I was outside in nature... in the dark... no one around... just me and the music... No inhibitions. I kept singing loudly, not caring at all if someone was behind a tree listening or somewhere out of vision. It made me happy... Lord knows I need a little happiness this week with all this crap to do. So, maybe singing tonight would add to my happiness... either that or it will take away from precious time to do my math project and edf302 retest... ugh.

Well... I guess I'm off to take the Special Ed. test. More to come tonight...

the sleepiest day of my life...

...and yet it is 1:32 and I am still up. WTF, mate? I didn't sleep much last night... I was on the phone with Patrick until 12:30... I had planned on going to sleep at 11, but I had to lend (geez, I SO wanna say the Greek translation, but I was definitely scared while doing rounds on the floor of the unmentioned sorority) "a helping hand." LOL.

Anyway, yeah, I fell asleep in math methods... AND while tutoring. Yes, while tutoring. The kids got yelled at by the supervisor, so they sat there and did their homework quietly and didn't say a peep. A little too quietly, unfortunately. Ms. Patterson, the supervisor, told me to put my head down and take a nap... LOL. Oh, Lord... so yeah, I was a hot mess today.

Anyway (I hope I don't get in trouble for this), but I was doing the powerpoint for my speech that I am giving on Thursday... the one on KKPsi. This speech could not have come at a better time. I had to go to a bunch of different chapter websites to get pictures. It gave me the chance to look at KKPsi across the nation... and ::"psi" of content:: I am in such a great organization. I had to talk through my speech and come up with what I was gonna say, and it got me thinking about how awesome it is.

In ALL seriousness... I TRULY hope that everyone in a Greek organization can appreciate what it stands for if they are gonna be in it. I talk junk about that one sorority, but honestly, if THAT kinda stuff is what they believe in and what they hold near and dear to their heart, I can't hate on them. It's good to believe in something. And with that, I'm gonna stop talking about them. Quite honestly, if someone decided to post all of KKPsi's secrets on the internet, I think that I would conjure up an owl to go kill them too... just kidding... I said I was gonna stop, so I will.

Anyway, my powerpoint is really good. I just hope that I can get my point across to the class. It's hard to express emotions like the kind I have for KKPsi. I know there is a Pika, Kappa Sig, ZTA,Tri-Delt, and SGR in my class... and I'm wondering if they will be able to appreciate KKPsi for what it is, or if they won't think anything of it and not be open to any other organization but their own being awesome... actually, I can't blame them for that... 'cause I often think, "I'm in KKPsi. I win."

Anyway, enough of that... don't want to upset anyone. I have a rough 48 hours ahead of me... test tomorrow, project due tomorrow, retest Thursday, teaching Thursday, project due Thursday, speech Thursday... so, I would appreciate it if all complaints regarding me be held until Thursday at 1:45 pm. Thank you.

the 5th and final hurrah

So... I started this entry completely different than it reads now. I will put that at the end for those of you who care to read it... But I decided to change the direction of this last entry of the day so that you wouldn't stay up all night plotting my death... I really shouldn't worry about that... It's not like I told the secrets of Chi Omega or anything. WOOPS! Anyway, I'm in rare form tonight. I'm highly cynical, but yet my creative writing is a little stifled... I am prohibited to write about what is going on in my mind. But yet, whoever you are, you are sitting on the other side of a square screen reading this... and I KNOW the only reason you are reading it is because you are wondering what Hamilton is gonna say next... Well, whatever Hamilton says, it won't be in 3rd person like this is... ANYWAY, the point is, it's your choice to read it... if you get angry with it, then I suggest you don't read it. Point blank. And no, that is not directed to any one person... actually, no, I will direct it to one person. I'll direct it to Pip, 'cause I don't know him at all, but I am sure that I don't anger him with my writing (I'm one of his freakin' "Blog's I Love to Read") and he seems like a cool guy. So, Pip... don't go gettin' all pissy 'cause you read something that you didn't want to hear... no if's, and's, or but's... I don't want to hear it. You choose to read it, so you can choose to not read it! So there! ::raspberry::

So, Pip... while I'm on it, you can also NOT read what is below... it is that original beginning of this entry. I decided to not keep going with it, 'cause I could see myself getting in trouble for it. But, I think that everything I write has relevant, so I'm not going to delete it... so, PIP, if you don't want to read it, click the "x" up above... no one is gonna make you read it. If you get upset, it's your own fault! I don't want to hear it. I better not hear it, Pip... 'cause remember, YOU are the one reading it... the only way to NOT get emotionally charged over it is NOT read it. That's all I'm gonna say about it, Pip... now, it's up to you to turn away if you don't want to see it. You do what you feel is right...

This is the 5th entry I have written today. Holy crap... it's like something is wrong or something. Anyway. I have proved that my blog is all that and a bag of potato chips. I move people to uncontrollable madness and it sends them into fits of profane rage... Without even trying! Yay. Does any institution of higher learning offer a masters degree in mind control?

I mean, I feel like Strong Bad. People flock to him weekly to see him answer e-mails. He's a little fat cartoon with a Mexican wrestling mask and boxing gloves on! How insane. I should have known that if a little rotund boxing cartoon that says "crap" every 5 words could gain the attention of a nation that I would at least be able to gain the attention of a small village...

Pip, you bastard... you read it.

this is what boredom looks like...

...but how bored can one be at the Moulin Rouge?!

Your Moulin Rouge Status: by pinkrobelover
Your Name:
Your deepest secret:	You got piss drunk with absinthe and performed the "can can can" on yourself.
The Bohemian Ideal You hold true to most is:	Truth
Your Job at the Moulin Rouge:	Satine's body guard
What the customers think:	A bit more practice in bed, mate.
Favorite Quote:	"Outside it may be raining, but in here it's entertaining!"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

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and now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

I worked with my little drum majors to be today. It is funny how inspiring those younger than me are. They are only 16, but it's still young enough to provide a little different insight on things. Seth and Audrey are both working very hard... They kind of remind me about how I was when I was trying out for drum major. They work so hard, and they both want it so badly... one thing different about us though, is the fact that they are so inhibited... it's okay. I'm not bashing them via weblog, I have told them this. Anyway, they are so stiff and rigid. I'm having a little trouble teaching them because, strangely enough, it comes pretty naturally to me. I don't mean to brag (for heaven's sake, I'm not that ballsy), but I'm not real inhibited when I'm conducting. I mean, a lot of that is owed to Kate and Jennie, and even Rebecca Poe for all mentoring me at one time... but for the most part, I got the whole conducting thing pretty easily... I mean, I think I have it pretty well... feel free and tell me if I suck or something so I don't continue writing false statements in here.

Anyway, I really want them to feel the music... I want them to get fierce and angry when they hear "El Toro." I want them to get solemn and reflective when they hear "Maria." I want them to get peppy when we do marches. I want them to feel the music. This did take me some time to understand. Kate is the one that really got me to do this. I remember our first few practices last year... I had this halfway smirky grin thing on my face the whole time... I thought Kate looked so funny... and she wanted me to do what she was doing?! HA! Not that I couldn't do it, but more because I didn't want to look spastic. Somewhere between those first practices and this past band season I realized that "getting into it" wasn't goofy... it was and IS music. Never was this made more clear to me than the Friday before we first marched my show...

Dr. Spede said that we had been having a mediocre B- practice all day, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I knew everyone was tired... we had just gotten done with the terrific World Tour show, had JUST learned the drill to the EWF show, and it was getting late in the afternoon. People were ready for the weekend. During a water break, I went up to Kate and I told her... I felt it was my fault. I was just like everyone else that was so tired and didn't want to be there anymore. I was tired of trying so hard to do everything perfectly. I wanted to have fun. Then she told me... HAVE FUN! No one else was having fun, so if I was up there on that podium looking like I was having fun, then they would have fun, and of course everyone wants to have fun in the best way possible, right? So, I did. It was amazing... almost like something off of an afterschool TV special... It was SO much better. Dr. Spede said that that run through was the best yet. I had fun, I moved around a little bit, I "hit that spot." Haha.

Then, it happened again... but this time, even moreso than before. It was on the bowl trip. For the game, we were going to play "El Toro" and "Johnny One Note." So, Kate and Lindsey had their respective songs... and Jennie got pregame... I dunno why she did now... I wasn't upset or anything, but she got it... I was cool with it. But what I wasn't cool with was how idle I was! OMG... that trip. The practices were SO BORING. We ran through "El Toro..." Kate got up and conducted. We ran through "Johnny One Note..." Lindsey conducted. We ran through pregame... Jennie conducted. And Hamilton got a cramp in his neck while turning and watching whoever was on the middle podium. And when we weren't on the ladders, I was over with the clarinets, field teching... lemme tell you... THAT'S THE BEST! Especially when everyone knows their spot like the back of their hand because they marched it so much AND because they don't really do anything but march back and forth (sarcasm noted). Anyway, I have NEVER felt so useless in band. I wanted to ask Spede if I could pick up a tuba and march so I could have something to do. Well, I couldn't wait for the pep rally... 'cause I knew that I would get to conduct and have a little fun... so when the time came, I showed out. LOL. I shocked myself. All that pent up conducting that had been boiling inside of me for so long... was released in the form of "Let's Go." It was amazing. Tiger Band did an INCREDIBLE job... and it was the coolest feeling I ever had... all 180 however many people confined in an itty bitty space in front of me giving me all they had... Wow. What a rush. To be able to help get it out of them... an awesome feeling. I felt like I was doing something... and I was doing it well.

So (woah... HUGE digression)... I want Audrey and Seth to FEEL the music. FEEL the music. FEEL the music. I want them to appreciate it for everything that it is... everything that it invokes. Music is a language. It is an awesome thing to be able to speak that language.

a quote from ben

It's funny... and extremely relevant to the aforementioned entry:

"Don't sweat the petty, pet the sweaty."

this entry is dedicated to my brother, patrick

Patrick... well. He became a brother on March 28, 2003. And he gave up his active status tonight, February 29, 2004. Not even a year. But, he did what he felt was best for him. In his actions, I have been forced to look at KB in a different light.

First, let me explain. My blog is not a place to rant and rave about the latest occurrences in Clemson's Kappa Kappa Psi chapter. If that is what you are looking for, this might be a better blog for your reading pleasure. But, I will tell you that this event has really made me think.

My chapter, Kappa Beta, is full of brothers that I love and enjoy being around. But, Patrick and his little brother, who is no longer in the process, are probably my 2 best friends... we do almost everything together... we are even planning on living together next year. Well, with first Nick gone and now Patrick, I am the only one out of our trio that remains "offillimus" (a new Greek word that means "affiliated" that I learned this weekend) to the fraternity. As much as the social aspect is important (I'm the freakin' social chair), it pained me to see that I was so caught up in what my friends were doing when it came to the fraternity. The fraternity is about service to the bands... not service to Hamilton's social life. So, as much as it would be fun for Patrick, Nick, and I to all be "offilimus" together, it isn't necessary for me to have a worthwhile experience in KKPsi. Besides the fact that I do have other great friends (including my great little brothers Missy and Bryn), there is so much more to gain... that's not a headache... Believe it or not, I'm kinda getting one right now trying to write this entry... It's hard to talk about.

I mean, I LOVE my fraternity so much... everything we stand for. It is exactly what I believe. EXACTLY. And after learning immense amounts of secrets about one of Panhellenic's dear sweet national sororities this weekend, it makes me thankful that what we stand for is so wholesome and uplifting! But yeah, I love my fraternity. And the opportunity it gives me to make a difference in the band program at Clemson. I'd be a fool to give it all up because a few friends aren't in it... I'd be looking way past what the fraternity stands for...

...and on that note, it doesn't stand for self-righteousness... Random and way out from left field, I know, but I can't help but think that some of my psi brothers are a little too high and mighty, and holier than thou. I may be wrong, but even in the midst of all that crazy ish I learned about that crazy "women's fraternity" there was nothing like "We believe that the sisters of this fraternity are better than everyone, including every other sorority and women's fraternity. Most importantly, each sister is better than every other." LOL. But in that sorority, I guess the people dropping the initiates into the coffin are a little better than the ones going into the coffin. I can't imagine anyone going INTO a coffin being better off than anyone out of one...

ANYWAY, I digress. I feel as if I have done nothing but rambled tonight. Recap:

1. I love my friends Patrick and Nick.
2. I love my fraternity, Kappa Kappa Psi.
3. I will not let the lack of my two friends in the fraternity change the way I view my fraternity.
4. Our fraternity is way better than that sorority that drops people into coffins.